


The Past is Present

by eeminxs



Category: Emergency!
Genre: Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Medical Conditions, Medical Trauma, Mental Health Issues, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-10 08:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 57
Words: 133,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3282962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeminxs/pseuds/eeminxs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just as their captain's exam results come out, Johnny is blown through a garage during a fire, causing major head trauma. The results of the head trauma pushes everyone to their limits as they find out more about Johnny's past and end up coping with more side effects than anyone could have ever imagined. The only question will be: can those directly involved with Johnny's life handle the revelations and changes? How will everyone cope with the situation and what will happen with Johnny if the effects never go away?<br/>All honest reviews welcomed!<br/>THIS IS NOW COMPLETE! Thanks for sticking with me as I wrote my first fanfiction story!</p><p>Also posted on ff.com.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Party

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank crockettgirl for all her help and encouragement.
> 
> Disclaimer: "Emergency!" and their characters are copyrighted by Mark VII Productions, Inc. as well Universal Studios. All rights are reserved - no infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended from the show or other items. Medical information, show facts, and character background are based on research and used to the best of my ability. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons and/or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment purposes. No financial gain is being realized from it. The story, itself is property of the author.

"Uncle Johnny!" came a high-pitched squeal from Jenny as her uncle exited his Land Rover.

"Happy Birthday, princess!" Johnny exclaimed, easily catching her as she flew towards him.

Spinning the blonde hair, blue eyed girl around, he laughed at the way she clung to him after he let her down. She too was giggling, despite being still dizzy from her ride. Even at ten years old, Jenny still had the same sense of fun she seemed to have when he first began coming around the DeSoto's house. It was amazing how time flew; it seemed like just yesterday when Roy invited him to meet his wife Joanne, his one and a half year old son Christopher, and 3 month old daughter Jennifer. It was hard to accept at first that Roy and Joanne actually grew to quickly like him. In fact, with his background, it hard to accept that anyone would like him, let alone basically adopt him into their family like the DeSoto's had done over the time he and Roy were training to become paramedics.

_Well_ , Johnny grinned to himself. _I was training, he was retraining!_

The two of them reminded them so much of his parents; they had seemed to fall more in love with each other every year they were married and that love was extended towards their family and friends. The two of them were there for their kids, teaching them what they felt was important such as what Roy considered basic first aid. Those basics went on to include camping, fishing, cooking, simple sewing and more.

Somehow, over the ten years they had been partners, he had become a brother to both Joanne and Roy, as well as an uncle to Chris and Jennifer. The DeSoto's included him in so many of their family activities that at times, it was astounding how comfortable he was around them. For the first time since Johnny had lost his parents, he felt he found somewhere he was not only welcomed and somewhere he belonged, but somewhere where he felt loved.

Growing up near a reservation, it was hard to fit in being a "half-breed". Too white for some and too red for the others, he never made lasting friends during the first twelve years of his life. Instead, Johnny just seemed to spend most of his time trying to stay out of the way of everyone, kids and adults, as they seemed to feel justified in bullying him and targeting him. The kids would go out of their way to exclude them. The adults on the other hand, seemed to feel he would wind up as 'just another drunk Injun' and despite receiving fairly good grades, the teachers seemed to ignore the slurs of the other kids and occasion beating he would receive from them. It wasn't as if he was the only one to get picked on, it just seemed as though if there was a choice, the kids tended to choose him over others. The teachers also didn't seem to care much if he needed help with his homework.

_Not that the education was all that great to begin with,_ Johnny reminisced.

Since no other schools were around for younger kids, he was forced to attend the local reservation school and at that time, many teachers didn't want to be there and had the same attitude: why educate kids who would grow up to become problems on society? Those who genuinely did seem to want to be there were scarce; anytime they did try to help out, the pressure from other teachers and those above them would just make things worse in the end for the kids so the kind teachers would just stop trying, if not leave altogether.

Johnny knew that at the end of the day, no matter how bad it may have gone, his mom would be there waiting for him to walk him home. It was quite of a walk home, especially for a young boy, but even in the cold Oklahoma winters, he didn't mind. The nearly 30 minute walk home with his mom was time with just the two of them before his dad came home from work where they could talk about anything. For a young, hyperactive Johnny, a lot was talked about every weekday.

The talks would wind down as they arrived home. He would sit at the kitchen table to do his homework from school, or if nothing was assigned, to go over the lessons that was taught that day. Johnny's parents were both in firm agreement that despite the level of education quality, he would be given the best possible chances they could give him in life.

Johnny was quick to finish his work before his dad got home, knowing that after the family meal he would be rewarded. His dad had an immense pleasure teaching his pastime favorite game of checkers to both his mom and him. Almost every night before bed, the three of them would gather around the fireplace where his mom or dad would tell him stories of their childhood or how they met before sending him off to bed with a tale from his mom's Indian culture.

For Johnny, weekends were even more special as that was when mom taught his dad and him even more about how she grew up-her culture, what it meant, how to speak the language, how her father taught her to track despite it being a 'man's job'. He and his dad would try to learn some of the native language that she remembered hearing as a child. All three of them would have fun trying to figure out the steps to the traditional dances her mother and father taught her. Often, nothing would be memorized as Johnny and his father would end up falling over their own feet, making all three of laugh until they couldn't catch their breath. It was these nights and weekends that Johnny took with him to school every time, knowing they would get him through any difficult moments.

The love the two of his parents held for each other seemed to grow each year that they were together. They had been together for a year before marrying. His dad said that although his father and mother weren't happy about it, both did support his decision. Shortly before he was born, however, both passed away within months of one another due to a flu epidemic. Johnny knew that his mom's parents were also no longer around; she had lost them when she was eighteen, just about six months before meeting his dad. A year after that, Johnny was born and his dad made sure to remind Johnny that older his sister would have loved him almost as much as his parents did if she knew about him. This was always stated with a tone of sadness as the two of them had lost touch almost four years into the Gage's marriage. It wasn't something that either of them had planned, it was simply what happened between her following her husband around the country while he served his country in the military.

Shaking his head to free himself from his memories, Johnny gazed upon Jenny and was once again amazed at how much he loved this little girl. No, a young lady, he corrected himself. Despite the young, carefree and fun-filled exuberance she held, Jenny still seemed to be more mature and perspective that rivaled her age. Her brother Chris, was the same way, although he had more restraint and acted more like his father. If anything, Jenny took after Joanne and Chris took after their father. Chris was even looking more and more like his father all the time as his once light blonde hair darkened slightly every year. Johnny felt a sense of warmth and belonging flow through him as he thought about how much he was a part of this family.

Sure, his aunt was good to him after taking him in, but after his parents died when he was younger, he never seemed to be part of a family again until the DeSoto's took him in. With his aunt, it was just her and her husband; she had spent the first fourteen months nursing her terminally ill husband. The next year was spent fighting to get over the loss of her husband and although she said she loved Johnny dearly, he quickly learned to be independent and never quite felt like part of a family. Now, with his aunt living in New Mexico and nearing 70, he was thankful to at least have some semblance of a family around, even if they weren't related by blood.

To finally have a family again, was welcoming, if not scary. Seeing Chris running towards him, Johnny grinned.

_Despite the scary, awkward, **what-the-heck-do-I-do** , **no-clue** moments, it is so worth it! Plus, it is always fun spoiling them rotten,_ Johnny admitted.

"Hey sport! How's it going?"

"Fine, I guess…" Chris heaved a sigh at his uncle.

"Fine?" Johnny raised an eyebrow at him, knowing something more was going on.

"It's just that there are so many girls here! I am just so glad there is finally someone cool to hang 'round, Uncle Johnny."

Laughing, he ruffled Chris hair. "Thanks. I think. Let's go see where everyone is, okay?"

Shaking his head yes, Chris lead the way in while Jenny almost dragged Johnny forward by his hand. Walking in, Johnny saw Roy watching Jo in the kitchen in amusement. Telling Jenny and Chris he would be outside shortly, he approached Roy.

"What's up with Jo?" Johnny whispered next to Roy.

"Not really sure… I think she forgot something."

"Really? Jo, forget something? That never happens!"

"I know," Roy confirmed, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know what to do so I figure standing here is the safest thing to do."

"True," Johnny nodded. "Wait, Chris said something about a bunch of girls… If Jenny's friends are already here, does that mean you have a dozen kids unsupervised? Or am I just late?"

"Late," Roy tried glaring at him menacingly and failed miserably. He figured being late this time was a smart move. Eight pre-teen girls, plus his own two, plus the other guys from the firehouse where he and Johnny worked made up for an interesting combination. Considering how Chet often acted with his pranks, he defiantly could be considered the last kid, rounding the number up to an even dozen.

"So," Johnny began before being interrupted by Jo turning around and marching towards them.

"I need more ice cream! How could I forget how much is needed? Between the younger kids and bigger ones, we will go through a ton! How on earth?! Roy, you were supposed to remind me!" Jo exclaimed.

"Let me guess, our crew is the big kids," Johnny murmured to Roy. Seeing the affirming nod, he decided it might be best to take the attention off his best friend. "Calm down now. You and Roy just go outside, get the games started. I'll just run to the store real quick and pick up some, okay?" Johnny took control of the situation. One thing he did not want to deal with was a panicking female, especially if it was Joanne.

"No, no that's okay. Roy should go…"

"Nope, he and you should just go out and start having fun, I'll be back before you know it."

"Thanks, sweetheart," Jo gave him a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. "You're a life saver."

"Nope, just a sanity saver for Roy," he grinned and then ducked out of the way as she swatted at him. "I think I'll be leaving now…"

"Smart man," Roy stated, shaking his head at his partner.

"Roy!" Jo put her hands on her hips, smiling slightly as she glared at him. "Now, what is that supposed to mean buster?"

"Nothing, honey, it's just that…"

With those words, Johnny slipped out the front door, hurrying to get escape before he could get Roy in any more trouble. And if Roy got in trouble, it would be a sure bet that sooner than later, he'd end up having to deal with the fallout.


	2. Driver's Ed Needed

Making his way back to the DeSoto's, Johnny was at a stop sign a couple blocks from their house when he felt someone slam into his back bumper.

"What the…" he mumbled, gingerly picking up his head from where it rested between the steering wheel and window.

For some reason, there wasn't a car in sight. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head in disgust carefully. Performing a quick self-check on himself and finding nothing wrong with the exception of a small bump near the top of his left ear, Johnny assumed he was too stunned to have noticed the car leaving. Considering how hard his head was slammed into the wheel, he just considered himself lucky not to have any damage to his window, or himself for that matter.

"Stupid idiot. Betcha he was too busy and in a hurry to give a crap. Just better have not done any damage to my car," Johnny ranted out loud as he got out of his car to check it over.

Finding minimal damage to the back end, he shrugged. Since he didn't have a headache and the damage done to his car would be fairly cheap to repair, there was no point in reporting it or telling anyone. Besides, he had to get back to the party; he was already running a bit later than he wanted, what with the store being busier than he had hoped for and then that dummy plowing into him.

_If I reported this, I'd end up with a puddle of ice cream in my car and then have to go back to that store for more. With my luck, something else would happen. Besides, I feel fine, so why get insurance involved just to have them charge him even more,_ he reasoned.

"Hey Junior, thought you got lost," Roy smiled when he noticed Johnny wander into the back yard.

"Nope, no such luck! Besides, even when lost, I still know where I am, so I am not really lost, am I?" Johnny quipped.

"Now if that isn't the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Besides, couldn't ya just find a way to get lost completely?" Chet threw back at him.

"Kelly!" that one word from Captain Stanley was all that was needed for a quick 'sorry' to come to Chet's lips.

"Hey, Johnny, we've been wondering where you were," Marco said.

"Hey Marco. Cap," Johnny nodded towards them on the deck where they were sitting. "Got sent on errands just as soon as I arrived. What can I say? Chet cannot be trusted with such an important task."

"Thank you so much by the way," Jo said, rolling her eyes at the childish behavior as she set up the food. "Roy's almost done with the grilling and then we'll eat. I'll just take the ice cream and put it away from now."

"Sweet. I'm starving!"

"When aren't you, Uncle Johnny?" Chris asked, coming up to be 'saved' from the mob of girls running around the yard.

He couldn't wait till after lunch when the girls went home. That's when he felt the fun would really begin as everyone but the family and Uncle Johnny would leave, giving them more time to play something fun.

Laughing, Johnny just launched himself at Chris, tickling him until Chris breathlessly panted, "Enough, I give, I give."

"Thought that would teach ya a lesson," Johnny smirked.

"Food's ready!" Roy hollered, calling everyone to the picnic tables.

Letting everyone go ahead of him, Johnny realized that the smell of food was starting to get to him.

_I didn't have time for breakfast this morning. That must be it! I'll just get a little to start with and then go back for more._

Relived, Johnny went in line for food, grabbing a few things here and there. However, as everyone began talking over one another, instead of diving into the conversation like he normal would, Johnny instead fell quiet, trying to force down his meal. After everyone was finished, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Cake time!" Roy announced.

_Oh, no! I don't think I am up for this, I am just too tired…_

Sure enough, at Roy's pronouncement, Jenny automatically went to find her Uncle Johnny.

"You're gonna help me cut the cake, right Uncle Johnny? You promised this year you would since I'm old enough now to do so with help," pleaded the young girl.

"Don't worry, Princess, I remember," Johnny weakly smiled, trying to assure her. "Let's get going before the hungry masses attack us."

Giggling, Jenny lead him to the head of a picnic table and with as much energy as possible, Johnny sang along before helping to cut the cake. Once done with that, he told the young girl that he would be right back, but in reality, he knew his stomach couldn't handle the rich, dark chocolate cake or vanilla ice cream that would await him.

A couple hours later, Chris had his wished fulfilled as the last girl invited to Jenny's party left. Helping pick up all the left over wrapping paper, he watched his Uncle Johnny sink into a lounge chair. Normally, he'd be one to help, making clean-up into a game. Stuffing the last of the paper into the trash, Chris went to over to where his dad was saying good-bye to his crew mates.

"Dad, why is Uncle Johnny so tired today? And did you see he hardly ate anything, not even the cake?!" Chris question his father, the worry he felt for his uncle clear in his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he normally has a bunch of food you know? And he could barely eat what he put on his plate, which didn't seem all that full. Now, he looks like he's ready to sleep. He seemed fine before lunch."

"Hmmm," Roy looked over at his partner. Now that he got a good look, he too noticed that Johnny looked more tired than usual. Typically, he would have noticed it before, but with all the people running around, he felt he had barely held onto his sanity all afternoon. Either he was getting old, or the kids invited has more energy.

_Definitely more energy. Even Johnny looks tired and he is always hyper,_ Roy deduced. _Besides, the other option of being too old is definitely not an option in my book._

"Give me a bit, Chris. Let me see what I can find out."

Walking up to Johnny, Roy asked him if he was feeling okay.

"Uhhh? Yea, sorry long night last night, I guess. Neighbors were fighting and that must have bothered me more than usual."

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," he snapped. Looking and feeling guilty, he quickly apologized. "Sorry, just tired. You think Jenny and Chris would understand if I head out early? I want to try to get some extra sleep tonight, rest up tomorrow before the next shift."

"Sure, you know how they are, besides, the guys have already headed out," Roy paused, debating with himself. He knew how cranky Johnny could get and how if he pushed too hard, it might back figure. "Look, if you need to, you can stay in your room here if you want. Up to you."

"Nah, just would rather sleep in my own place for once, ya know," John cocked a grin at Roy.

Both knew he had a key to the DeSoto's and his own room anytime he needed, partly because of his tendency to get hurt at work and partly because the DeSoto's wanted him to know he had a place to go no matter what.

"Alright, I'll let you say good-bye to the kids. I'll see ya at work in a couple days. Call me or Jo if you need to."

"Yea, yea." Johnny agreed, getting up and going to the kids. It wasn't easy, especially since it was his princess' birthday, but after promising that just the three of them would do something special after his next shift, he was reluctantly allowed to leave.

_Man, I have no idea why I am so exhausted. Just glad Roy bought the excuse about the neighbors. I hate lying but it wasn't a total lie... They did fight, just happened_ before _I went to bed. Besides, I don't need him worrying._

Johnny wondered what was going on. Hopefully, a good night's rest and a relaxing day tomorrow was all he needed before his next shift. _I better not be getting sick,_ he thought, climbing into his Land Rover with all thoughts of the accident earlier and his earlier promise to himself forgotten.


	3. Saved by the Klaxon

The next shift arrived way too quickly for Johnny's likening. Despite spending most of the time sleeping, it still seemed as though he barely slept at all. On top of that, he was starting to get a nagging headache that was making him dizzy and nauseous. For once, the idea of staying in his bed was much more appealing than going into work. He also hoped that by doing so, no one would notice how horrible he looked. Seeing that it was close to 7:30 am and that the Cap should be at the station, Johnny called there.

"Station 51, Captain Hookrader speaking."*

"Hello, Captain, this is Gage, is Captain Stanley there?" Johnny asked, pleading to whatever deities may be listening that he was.

As good of a fire captain Hookrader may be, as a person, there was a lot to be desired and he really didn't want to tell Captain Hookrader why he needed the day off. With his luck and Hookrader's personality, he'd end up feeling like even more of a complete wuss and end up with enough guilt over calling in over something so minor that he'd come in anyway. Before he could convince himself just to tell whichever Captain came on the line next that he was running a bit late, Captain Stanley was on the phone.

"Hi, John. I take it that since you're calling in early, so you are either running late or aren't feeling well."

"I really don't feel well," Johnny confessed. "I don't think I slept at all last night and I think I might be getting a cold or something."

Knowing how hard it was for him to admit that he was sick, Captain Stanley was more than a bit concerned. Usually, only Roy was able to force him to call in sick when he needed to be.

Probing for more information to see if he would need to send Roy over, he asked, "Do you have any other issues?"

"Just a huge headache…"

"And," Cap asked, knowing that there was more than that.

"And I'm kinda dizzy though I'm sure that's from not sleeping and I'm feeling kinda sick. Kinda sure that's from feeling dizzy," Johnny quickly said.

"Do you need a ride to see Dr. Brackett or Early?"

"No, no," Johnny almost sounded panicked at that thought. "Like I said, it's probably just the start of something and if I just sleep today, I'll be fine in time for the next shift."

"Alright, John," Cap said. "Call here if you need us or call either Jo or my wife if you need food or anything else."

"Yea, I will."

"I'll call HQ for you. Try to let me or Roy know ahead of time if you think you need your next shift off," Cap ordered gently.

"Thanks, Cap," John gracefully acknowledge.

"I don't mind in the least. Take care," Cap hung up the phone.

"Thanks," Johnny repeated and within seconds, was asleep again.

_This was one of the hardest parts of being a Captain of this crew,_ thought Captain Stanley.

Fighting fires is easy, but not long after become the Station 51 A-Shift Caption, they were no longer _just_ men that survived under him. They had become his family. He knew his whole crew felt that way…they more than just spoke the typical 'all firemen are brothers' line. They felt it and lived it. Each of them had more or less adopted each other into the others family, although as the Captain, he was more like a father to a lot of them. He was the person to go for help and advice. All this was especially true for the youngest man, John, and he knew that the others watched out more for him as well. Their families did as well. There was just something about him that made them feel that way.

_Whatever special qualities John has, he certainly can use the extra T.L.C.,_ Captain Stanley thought as he picked up the phone to call headquarters to get a replacement paramedic. _I wonder if I should call my wife…nah, John would call Roy or Joanne first. Besides, I don't want to worry her. Although, she'd likely say I am the one who tends to worry too much. She should try watching over that man! I'd like her not to worry then!_

When Roy came into the station a few minutes later, Cap called him into his office.

"Don't worry, Roy. Nothing's wrong. Johnny isn't feeling too good, so he called into."

Sighing, Roy was wondering if it was still the same 'something' that was bothering Johnny before.

"Any idea who my replacement is?" Roy dreaded the answer, but forewarned was forearmed.

"Dwyer said he'd be here in about thirty minutes or so," Cap smiled over at him. "And don't worry, I made sure John knew to call her or one of our wives if he needed anything. Sounds just like a cold starting."

"Thanks," Roy said gratefully. "I'll check in and see how he's doing later today. I should go get changed for roll call."

Nodding, Captain Stanley turned back to work on some paperwork as Roy left. For once, the day was unusually slow and considering the worry Roy felt for his partner, he was glad that was the case. After lunch time, he made a call to Johnny.

"What?" he snapped, cursing whoever decided to bug him.

"Sorry, just wanted to check up on you," Roy was worried as it wasn't like his partner to snap immediately when answering the phone.

"Sorry, just tired, I'm fine, alright?" Johnny bit back a sigh, leaning back into his pillows. All he wanted at that moment was to find a way off the phone to get some rest.

"Are you sure you're fine? You weren't feeling too good a couple days ago either and I just wanted…"

"Just haven't been sleeping well. If someone would let me, I might actually get caught up!" Johnny cut Roy off, frustration clear in his voice.

"Ok, ok," Roy backed off. "Let me or Jo know if you need anything ok?"

"Yea," Johnny sighed. "Sorry. I'll see you in a couple days alright?"

Giving in, Roy agreed before hang-up. Although Johnny had had insomnia in the past, it just seemed like something more was going on. He just couldn't quite put his finger on what though. At least the crew only had 24 hours off between shifts this time. If nothing else, he would either see Johnny in three days or he would have a reason to stop by. Although, he may just do that anyway. With that plan in mind, Roy headed off to his assign task.

When the alarm sounded to alert Johnny to the fact he had to get up for his shift a few days later, he hit the thing so hard it went flying off the night stand. Groaning, he reluctantly got up, knowing if he missed this shift, Roy and the Cap would be on his case to get checked out.

_If I just could get some sleep, this stupid headache would go away. Then I would feel better._ Johnny rationalized, delaying getting out of bed. Soon, he knew he was running late and that did not help his mood at all. Finally, after a few missed turns that he knew, _just knew_ , were due to the fact he was tired, Johnny made it into work with ten minutes to spare.

"Morning Johnny," Roy greeted.

Grunting, Johnny just pulled open his locker, only to be soaked by one of the Phantom's water balloons. Seeing Chet standing there smirking at him and starting to open his mouth to say something smart, something inside seemed to snap.

"You son of a -! I am so dam tired of your stupid, childish pranks! This was the last time!" Johnny ranted, heading for Chet, intent on teaching him a lesson.

Fear in his eyes, Chet backed up quickly, tripping over the bench in the way. Only the fact that Roy was able to grab Johnny stopped him in his tracks.

"Johnny!" Roy turned him around to face him. Still seeing Johnny out of it, he tried again. "John! Stop it. It is not worth it."

"I am sick and tired of him! Every time I turn around, I run around into yet another stupid water bomb, or flour bomb, or something else happens! It's all because of him and his hatred towards me and I am tired of it!" Johnny ranted towards Roy, unaware that Roy had kept his grip on his arms or made him sit down. He was also unaware the Mike and Marco had gotten Chet up and out of the locker room as quickly as possible.

"John!" Roy practically shouted. "John Gage! Knock it off! Chet it not worth it! He does not hate you! He…"

As quickly as the rage had overpowered Johnny, it left him. He was breathing hard and his head was pounding even more.

"John," Roy questioned. "Johnny, you okay?"

Now even more worried about his friend, Roy tried to look at Johnny direct but Johnny was having now of that.

"I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping and it's causing me to have this stupid headache. On top of that, I am so tired of dealing with Kelly! I don't know what the heck I did to him, but I wish he would knock it off!" Johnny tried explaining as he quickly dressed, knowing Cap would be having roll call in a few short minutes.

"Look, Johnny, you haven't been feeling good for a few days. Maybe you should let me take you to Rampart, get you checked out. Make sure you aren't coming down with something. You know how easy it is for you…"

"To come down with something now that I have no spleen. Yea, yea, I know!" Johnny finished, getting up to leave the locker room.

"So, you'll let me take you?" Roy asked hopefully, knowing logically it couldn't be that easy.

**Station 51 Structure Fire 1305 East 215th Street 1-3-0-5 East 215th Street, Cross Street Weisier Avenue Time Out: 07:58**

"No time, Cap already told the other shift we'd take over," Johnny stated, relieved. It seemed in the rush of adrenaline, his headache disappeared along with the exhaustion.

Racing to the squad as the rest of the crew went to the engine, they heard Cap call in, "KMG-365," before handing the slips of paper with the information to Roy. Passing it Johnny, he pulled out of the station and followed the directions to the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name 'Captain Hookrader' comes from Season 6, Episode 8: Captain Hook. (Thanks IMDb!)


	4. Blast

Upon reaching the one story house, the two paramedics could see a small crowd standing outside. Quickly jumping out of the squad, Johnny ran to grab the hose and wrapped it around the hydrant. Shaking off a wave of dizziness, he loosened the steamer cap as fast as possible. Thankfully, the dizziness went away quickly as Johnny fastened the hose to the hydrant. Shrugging off the dizziness as a result of whatever bug he might be getting, Johnny opened the valve not realizing he missed the first signal to release the water pressure. With that complete, he went back to the squad to grab his SCBA, positive that the crowd and time of day that someone was likely to be still in the house.

Making his way over to where Cap and Roy was talking with someone, Johnny heard the last of the conversation.

"...came out, the garage door was still closed. I know she had to take her daughter to an appointment early this morning so they have to be still home, please do something!" the neighbor woman pleaded.

"Yes ma'am. Do you know where in the house they might be?" Roy asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"Alright, wait over there, my men will go search for them," Cap told her. Seeing that she was out of earshot, he quickly conferred with his two paramedics.

"What do you think, Johnny? Go in through the garage?" Roy asked.

"Probably the only place they have a shot at this point."

"Chet and Marco haven't spotted anyone in the house yet," Cap added. "Go, but make it fast. And be careful!"

"Got it Cap!" Roy voiced as he put on his mask. Johnny just simply followed Roy's actions, too tired to speak and too focused to want to delay any further energy towards acknowledging the orders.

Moving into the two car garage, the partners were slightly stunned by the sight. It seemed as though the woman and child were in the car, which was about the only good thing at this point. A support beam and some of the items from a small storage space near the ceiling had collapsed, causing a pile-up front of the garage door. Without the K-12 cutting a small area for them to duck through, the two of them wouldn't have been able to make it in. Being in the car prevented the two victims from debris as well as some of the smoke that was quickly filling the small garage. Unfortunately, it seemed they had less time than expected as there were some gas cans stored beneath the workshop bench along the back wall. Roy just shook his head at the stupidity of some people.

Refocusing quickly, he and Johnny made it to the car. Between the two of them, they were able to pull open the front passenger door. Seeing flames starting to coat the wall separating the garage and the house, Roy knew the two of them had to move fast. Reaching in for the driver, he found a pulse.

"She's alive!" Roy shouted. Checking her over for spinal damage, a head injury, or broken bones, Roy came to the conclusion it was more than likely heat and smoke that cause her to pass out. Thankfully, she wasn't trapped, so after unbuckling her seat belt, he carefully grabbed her before backing out.

Putting her over his shoulders, he told Johnny, "Get the kid and get out fast. I'll be at the entrance if you need me. There's not much time!"

"Got it," Johnny acknowledged as Roy turned away to the opening and he went into the car. Finding the kid was actually somewhat awake, he began talking to her as he examined her.

"Hi honey. My name is Johnny. I'm a fireman and a paramedic. My partner there who was just here is going to take care of your mom. Then come back and help us. We'll get you out of here. Don't you worry, darlin'," he practically cooed. Helping her across the front seat, he gave her some oxygen from his mask. Feeling the heat building up even more, he knew there wasn't much time, but since she had a broken left arm, he knew he had to be careful with his precious package. Finally reaching the passenger door, Johnny began backing out with her cradled in his arms, still sharing the oxygen mask, although truth be told, he wasn't getting much use out of it.

_Worth it in my opinion,_ he thought _._

As Johnny reached the garage door, Roy was there to grab the young girl. As Roy hustled away with her, Johnny began to go through the opening feet first so he could see when he needed to duck as his vision seemed to be getting a bit fuzzy.

_Who knew whacking your head on a car roof could hurt so much?_ Johnny wondered to himself. _Didn't think I hit it that hard. Oh, well._

Just as he tucked his head down towards his chest and went to make the last step outside, a loud **_BOOM_** sounded. Everyone on scene looked up, knowing that the fire had just reached the gas cans and had hoped Johnny cleared the garage enough to duck.

All Johnny was aware of was a tremendous noise that sent unending shock waves through his body before pain hit him full forth and he was launched into the air. Seconds before his world exploded into a bright light, he thought he heard screaming, but before he could gather his thoughts, he slipped away into blessed darkness.

Wanting to rush towards Johnny, but knowing his duty was to his two civilian patients, Roy cursed inside. Setting the young girl down by her mother, he smiled at her and immediately got her on oxygen. Seeing the obvious fracture in her arm, he grabbed a splint to set it. Taking her vitals, he called into Rampart, hoping he could convince the doctor on the line to let him get to his partner.

"Rampart, this is Squad-51, how do you read?"

A few seconds that seemed like hours passed before Roy heard Brackett reply, "Go ahead, 51."

"Rampart, we have three victims, two females and one code I. The two females were trapped in a car inside a smoke-filled garage for an undetermined amount of time. The first female is about age 30, was initially unconscious, suspect that it was due to smoke inhalation and heat as no head wounds are apparent. She is now conscious. Vitals are: Pulse 110, Resps 24, BP 110/80. Pupils equal and reactive, no other signs of trauma. Victim two is 10 and was semi-conscious, now fully concussion. Pulse 125, Resps 26, BP 120/70. Her left ulna and radius are broken, they have been set. Code I is…" here Roy faltered. "It's Johnny, doc. Right now, Marco and Chet are with him, doing the best to help him but he isn't moving. There was an explosion and it blew him back about five feet or so…"

"Alright, Roy, I understand," Dr. Brackett took a breath. He hated it whenever a friend got hurt and it seemed Johnny had a tendency to attract trouble. He knew it had to be even harder on Roy; the friendship those two had went far beyond the range of normal friendship. They were more like brothers than anything. "Set up D5W TKO on both females, give .5 mg morphine IV to the child if parental permission is available. Have Chet or Marco keep an eye on them and report vitals while you see to Johnny."

"Thanks doc. The mother has verbally agreed to treatment. That's D5W on both, .5 mg morphine IV for youngest. Squad-51."

Putting down the phone, Roy called for Marco, knowing Chet would want to help in any way with Johnny. Despite the pranks and bickering, the two were still good friends. Explaining what Bracket wanted, Roy pulled out the equipment he thought he might need. Cap had already called for another station and was helping keep the fire from getting out of control with Marco's help. Thankfully, it sounded as if the station was close, so it shouldn't be too much longer before help arrived.

_Please, let him be okay,_ Roy pleaded as his heart began racing and his stomach clenched in fear at the sight of Johnny laying flat on his stomach, still unconscious and unmoving. _Just please God, let him be okay. We need him more than you…_

"Chet?"

"Hasn't moved, hasn't even tried to move yet," Chet explained, looking up fearfully. "I took his scissors, got his pants and shirt cut up as much as possible so I could put some pressure bandages where I could, but…"

"You did good," Roy said softly, taking over.

"I just didn't want to move him, you know? He just had hit his head so hard and…" Stunned by the picture of Johnny being forcefully expelled from the garage, Chet had thought that it had seemed as though Johnny would never land. After words, he skidded on his back a few more feet before finally coming to a stop.

"I know," Roy too was trying to shake his own memories. His were of the noises: the loud bang, Johnny screaming before it was abruptly cut short. The yells of everyone else and the final _thud_ of what he assumed was Johnny landing.

Reverting to his 'paramedic role' as Johnny would call it, Roy set about with his grim task. Grabbing the neck brace from the trauma box, he gently and quickly slipped it on Johnny. Taking Johnny's vitals, Roy called them out to Chet to record. Roy removed Johnny's shoes carefully and noticed the swelling in the right ankle immediately. Getting a split, he carefully put that over the ankle. It felt broken, but he couldn't be sure. Making sure that Chet took note of that as well, Roy winced in sympathy as he noticed the various burn marks, cuts, scrapes and bruises.

Putting even more pressure bandages on the larger and deeper puncture wounds, he made sure the bleeding was as controlled as possible before asking for a burn kit. Realizing Chet wasn't the one who handed it to him as expected, but instead it was his Cap, Roy tried to hide his shock.

"Thanks," Roy murmured, before continuing on with his task of triaging Johnny.

"Another ambulance just arrived for him. Squad 36 took over your two patients. The other engine is working on the fire. Anything we can do?" Cap asked quietly. These were not just his co-workers, but his family. He hated seeing any of them hurt, but for some reason, it was worse when it was John. Maybe it was because he was the youngest at age 30 or because he reminded him of an overgrown kid. Either way, it seemed like Cap was not the only one hovering around, waiting to help.

"Can you help make sure the bandages don't move?" Roy asked, knowing full well that it was a pointless task as the sheet covering Johnny after the saline was poured on would do the same. However, he knew that his crew needed to do something to feel useful, even if was something so simple.

"Okay, let's get him on the backboard. Count of five."

On that command from Roy, the five of them gently rolled Johnny onto the waiting backboard, producing a slight moan from him.

"Johnny?" Roy quickly asked, hoping that his friend was moving closer to being awake.

He got out his penlight and observed how Johnny's pupils reacted to light. Both were dilated and moving sluggishly, which was not a good sign at all. Checking out his ribs, he noticed that once again, Johnny had managed to damage his ribs. Probably had broken at least a few. At least his lungs sounded fairly clear and he had managed to avoid puncturing a lung while doing so. Pushing on Johnny's belly, he was relieved to find it soft, indicating that there was probably no internal bleeding. Except for the fact he was still unconscious, Johnny seemed to get off lightly considering.

_Now, if he would just wake up!_ Roy thought as he ran his knuckles over Johnny's sternum. Although a faint moan came forth, the eyes remained closed and his body remained unnaturally still.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51."

"Go ahead Roy," Brackett quickly replied since he had stood waiting by the hospitals base station. Seeing Joe Early, he rapped on the door, and waved to him. Entering, Joe was about to ask what was going on when he heard Roy respond.

"Doc, Johnny has various puncture wounds, some deep, as well as scratches and bruises all along the back of his legs and back. I put pressure bandages on 'em and then because of the various spots of first, second and possible third degree marks, I just put a sterile sheet over and covered it with water. His right ankle looks broken, is splinted. We have him on a back board. No sign of bumps on his head. No signs of fluids in mouth or noses. A couple of ribs that are probably broken. No sign of internal bleeding. Still isn't conscious and has been unconscious for about 15 minutes. Pupils are dilated and sluggish. Doesn't react to voices but did react slightly when we moved him to the backboard and when I did a sternal rub. Nothing since then. I have him on 15 liters of O2. Has signs of minor smoke inhalation. I patched him up on the EKG. Vitals are as followed. Pulse 65, BP 160/110, Reps are 22. This will be lead 2." Roy flipped the switch.

"Reading sinus tach. Start D5W, TKO. Transport immediately."

Repeating back the instructions, Roy set up what was needed and signed off.

"Looks like we have our work cut out for us," Joe said.

"Yes we do," Kel said grimly. "Dixie, get treatment 2 ready for Johnny. Get x-rays down here and put an OR on stand-by. I don't like the sound of the head injury."

"Neither do I," Joe said. "I'll be sure to clear my schedule."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem, Kel. He's one of ours."

With that, the three of them left to get ready for the arrival of John Gage, knowing that the next ten minutes would be filled with anxious thoughts and moments.


	5. Confusion

Repeating the vitals check on his friend, Roy was relieved to see that they were at least unchanged. Although it would be better if they improved, at least they weren't getting worse.

_Now, if he would just open his eyes or something! For someone who can't stay still, he is way too still._

"Johnny, I know you're in there somewhere. I know you are hurting real bad," Roy said, taking his hand and gently squeezing it, thankful they were less than five minutes out from the hospital. "But it would help if you would just let me know you are in there. If you could squeeze my hand or something, please?"

Roy sighed, figuring it was pointless. If there was one thing he knew about his partner, he never did things the easy way and he did things when he felt like them. Seeing the ambulance pull into the driveway, he started to recheck the vitals one last time when he thought he heard something.

Pulling out the stethoscope from his ears, he asked quietly, "Johnny?"

Waiting a few seconds, he shook his head, sure he was imaging things. Just as he got ready to put the stethoscope back in however, he saw Johnny's lips moving.

"Daaadddd…." Johnny partly whispered, partly mumbled and partly slurred, confused about where he was and what was going on.

"Johnny, its okay. We're at Rampart. You're going to be ok," Roy reassured him as the doors to the back of the ambulance opened.

"What's going on, Roy?" Dr. Early asked.

"He asked something, I think about his dad, not sure," he said, climbing from the back of the ambulance as he helped with the stretcher. Entering into the hospital, Dixie directed them immediately into treatment two before following. "Vitals are unchanged. He hadn't awoken before and didn't even open his eyes or move."

"Looks like he is out again," Dr. Brackett commented. "Dix, let's get the x-rays right away and some new vitals."

While Dixie was on the phone to ensure that x-ray was on its way, Roy moved into get the vital signs. This time, as the blood pressure cuff tightened, he could see Johnny moving his lips again. Finishing up as fast as possible, he repeated the unchanged vitals.

"Johnny, can you open your eyes?" Dr. Brackett asked. He opened one lid with his finger and shined a light into the eye.

Both eyes of Johnny's eyes suddenly popped open. Trying to move and finding he couldn't, he began screaming for help. Dr. Brackett had backed away as soon as the screaming started, while Roy tried reassuring him, but nothing worked. It wasn't until Johnny ran out of energy a few minutes later that his panic stricken cries ended.

"Da, ma? Where yous? Help?" Johnny whimpered in terror, still shaking with fright.

"Johnny…" Dr. Brackett began.

"NO!" Johnny shouted, struggling to get away again. When that didn't work, he just began crying and shaking hard in terror. "Leave 'lone. Do no any. GO 'WAY! Want ma, da. Pls' me home."

Brackett immediately backed up and went by the other three.

"Joe, what do you think is going on? I mean, I've seen head injuries cause speech problems before, but quite honestly, this seems a bit more than that. In fact, I don't believe I have ever seen something like this before."

"I've only seen in it a few times in my career, but honestly, in those cases it was due to muli-head traumas in a short time period. He obviously has some sort of head injury now, but I have never seen or heard of this happening just due to a single injury. I suppose it's possible, but…" Joe mused.

"What do you do you think is going on?" Roy asked between his teeth, his patience near the end, his frustration and fear seeing his best friend like this making him want to shake the doctors for answers.

"Why don't we try to get x-rays of his head first and a CT scan? Then, while we are waiting for the results, I will explain what I am thinking, okay? I'd like some time to think anyway. But right now, we need to remain calm for him and take it slow. Be patient. It seems like right now, he doesn't remember us, nor does he remember anything before his parents were alive. And Roy, do you know when his parents died? That might give us a frame of reference for his mindset."

"God, I don't know for sure… I know his aunt took him in when he was around eleven. But it took a few years to track her down, so that means, he had to be what, eight, maybe seven years old? I honestly am not sure," Roy sighed and shook his head in disbelief. "You mean to tell me that in his head, he still thinks they are alive and that he believes he is still that young?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Roy, he responded to your voice before, why don't you try now. Go slow and take it easy. I don't want to have to sedate him if we don't have to. Kel, I suggest you stay away right now. Dixie, you might help as well, but right now, just let Roy explain who we are and what is happening, okay? Let's see if this will work."

"I'll do my best doc," Roy whispered, scared for Johnny.

Approached the gurney where Johnny was still crying, as well as shaking, Roy could see he was trying to look around as much as possible. A few feet away, Roy stopped.

"Hey Johnny. My name is Roy. I know this must all be scary for you, huh?" Taking a few steps closer when he saw Johnny look towards him, Roy continued. "You had an accident. You hit your head pretty hard. I know some first aid stuff so I went with you to the hospital here."

"Hos'ital?" Johnny asked. "Clinic? Go home. Mama, where, go…" The last few words were stuttered as his fear seemed to grow. "No bad, go."

"Shh, shh, it's ok. A hospital is like a clinic, but they have doctors who can do some more things," Roy came next to his gurney. "You can't move so that the doctors can make sure you are okay. That is why, not because you are bad, ok? Just so everyone here knows you are fine. We know you hurt your ankle pretty bad. You have some scratches and bruises on your back that need to be looked at too. And since you hit your head pretty hard, you were unconscious for a while, so…"

"Un…con…" Johnny tried sounding out the word, still afraid but his curiosity was poking through now.

"Unconscious," Roy repeated, smiling slightly, as he patted Johnny's hand. Grateful he didn't flinch, he wrapped his hand around Johnny's and was relieved when it was held onto tightly. "It means you went to sleep without meaning to. Something hit your head hard enough to do that to you."

"Wow! Ma da too?"

"No, they just can't be here right now," desperately trying to figure out a way to dodge the topic, Roy decided to indulge the natural curiosity Johnny must have. "See this tube here?"

Upon noticing Johnny's nod yes, Roy went on to explain the tubes and wires going on and in Johnny's body, while the two doctors and Dixie looked on in fascination.

"I always knew they were more like brothers, but this is something else…" Dixie whispered, not wanting to break the spell. Doctor Early and Brackett were quick to agree.

"While Roy is busy distracting him, I am going to go get x-ray, explain things to them. Also, I am going to get that CT set up. Let me know what happens, but I think I will let you two handle this, unless you need me," Kel said, also quietly.

"Will do," Joe agreed, watching Kel walk out the door, knowing it wasn't easy for the man to turn over the care of a friend. Even if it was to him.

Hearing Roy explain how a 'Doctor Early' and a 'Nurse Dixie' wanted to look at him, Joe and Dix slowly approached the bed.

"It's okay, Johnny," Roy soothed, brushing the hair from his eyes. Frowning, he realized there was a small lump there. Brushing aside the hair more, he nodded towards the bump as it was revealed. Seeing the bruising, Roy realized it hadn't taken place today and was at least a few days old. Switching gears, he went back to explaining what was going to take place.

"Okay, Johnny, as promised, we will let you know what will happen to you, okay?"

"Ev'n half?"

"What do you mean, sweetie?" Dixie asked, confused and a bit concerned.

"No whate, red, buth…"

"Ahhh," Dixie said, trying not to let tears form. "Well honey, I don't care what color you are. You could be purple or orange or green or even be lots of colors all at once and I would still like you from what I know about you."

At that thought, a small smile appeared on his face and afterwards, Johnny didn't mind when Dixie to come by his gurney. When Dr. Early told him that it was a good thing she didn't mind those who were part green, since he was part Irish, Johnny thought it might be possible that they just liked him for him.

"Wat, hows you me see?" he questioned, weary again. "You stange."

"You came here to live a while ago. We met you then. Right now because of the bump on your head, you forgot some stuff. It will be fine though," Roy assured him.

Johnny yawned as he tried to nod. Finding out he couldn't, he began panicking again.

"Go!" he shouted, forget why he couldn't move. "MA! DA!"

When neither of his parents appeared, he began crying. "No bad, ma, da, go…"

"Honey, its okay, its okay…" Dixie tried soothing. "I know it's scary, but right now we don't want you to move so we have you taped to a board. Just like…well, I'm not sure, what would you tape down so it doesn't move?"

Sniffling, Johnny thought before answering, "Floor."

"There you go then," Dixie said, as he calmed himself down. Wiping his nose for him, she asked if he was ready for Doctor Early to start looking him over. When he told her it was fine, Roy patiently explained each step and what would happen before anything was done, even answering the many questions Johnny had. It seemed even as at a young age, he was just as curious as he was now.

 _At least it helps keep him awake!_ Roy thought in relief.

As the x-ray tech came in, Johnny again became scared despite being told what would be done. He had never seen such a machine before and it made a lot of noise.

"It's okay, Johnny," Roy soothed again. "It's just Jack. He is going to take pictures of the inside of your body, so that Doctor Early can see your bones. Isn't that cool?"

"Don't worry, Jack," Dr. Early smiled at Jack and patted him as he stepped out of the way. "Johnny got knocked around fairly well, so he is having some issues. Just let Roy know what you are about to do ahead of time and he will explain it to Johnny. After that, when Roy tells you Johnny's ready, you can go ahead and do what is needed. That will help everyone out."

"Roy," Johnny tried whispering, knowing his dad would think what he was about to say was rude. But he couldn't help it; it was amazing! "To'ch black, 'fraid?"

Smiling, Doctor Early looked down at Johnny and held his other hand. "Johnny, what Dixie and I said was true. We know you and like you just because you are you. We like Jack because we know Jack is a good person. Color doesn't matter. In fact, we have a Doctor here who is black."

"Reals?" Johnny seemed astounded by this.

"Yep," Dixie confirmed, eyes sparkling. "If someone can do the job, wants to do the job, than they can."

"So, I old firemen?" Johnny's own eyes were sparkling now. However, when everyone started laughing and smiling, his own smile went away. "Think no."

Roy was glad he could practically read his partner's mind, even if he wasn't quite himself at this moment, "No, Johnny, it's just that, yes, you can be. It's just great that you want to be. Now, how about we get those x-rays done?"

Nodding his head with a weak grin, Johnny prepared himself for the next round of what he thought of as 'torture'. As long as it got him out of here and back to his parents though, he didn't care what happened.

An hour later the results were in and Johnny had nodded off to sleep. Roy slipped outside the exam room and headed to the doctors lounge where he was told to meet Doctor Brackett and Doctor Early, leaving Johnny in the care of Dixie. Getting a cup of coffee, he sat down at the table with the two doctors.

"So what's the verdict?"

"First, do you know when that older bump on his forehead occurred?" Dr. Early asked.

"No, truth be told, I didn't notice it until we were in the exam room," sighing, Roy sipped his coffee. "Honestly, if I had to guess, it a few days ago, although what happened and when, I have no idea. It's just a few things that have happened since Jenny's birthday party were adding up and I was going to try to take him in today to see one of you."

"What symptoms?

"Well, a few days ago, after he got back from getting ice cream from the store, he said he was starving, but Chris said he didn't fill up his plate like he usually does and then didn't eat everything on it. And we all know how unusual that is."

Nods came from both doctors. It seemed like Johnny had a bottomless pit somewhere where food went. Whenever he wasn't hungry, than it was time to be concerned.

"Then, Chris again pointed out he was sacked out on a chair almost asleep. Johnny looked so tired, I told him he could stay in his room, but he just said he wanted to go home. Even left early."

"Did he seem tired before that?" Dr. Brackett asked.

"No, he seemed his normal, hyper-active self. Well, you know what I mean," Roy blushed, knowing he shouldn't have said that last thought out loud.

Dr. Early just smiled as he did know normal didn't exactly cover John Gage. Dr. Brackett just frowned more.

"Anything else?" Dr. Brackett asked. Sure, those things were odd for Johnny, but not enough cause to warrant what they believed was going on.

"You know he called in sick last shift? He said he thought he was just coming down with the flu or something. He claimed to just be really tired since he wasn't sleeping well. Johnny told Cap that he felt dizzy, but wasn't too worried since it was typical when he became so tired and had a headache. I guess he also felt sick but caulked that up to the dizziness. But despite that, he just seemed, well, off…" Roy struggled to explain things. "He just seemed like anything could set him off. Then, today at work, the phantom struck and Johnny just, I don't know. He started yelling, cursing, and actually would have gone after Chet I think if I hadn't stopped him. Took him a few minutes to calm down, but he did. He just said that he was tired and was causing a headache. He didn't look right but wouldn't let me examine him. By the time we got dressed and I was thinking of heading to Cap's, the Klaxon's went off. You know the rest."

Sighing, Dr. Early thought he knew did know what was going on now. Unfortunately, how to address the problem and how to fix the problem, as well as tell Roy were going to be far from easy.

"It's not good is it Doc?" Roy asked, looking deep into his coffee cup, not wanting to see their eyes.

"It depends on a few things actually," Dr. Early started expounding.

"Should I call Jo to be here before you explain things?"

"Might be best," Dr. Brackett put in. "I can tell you right now, it would be best if we put him under sedation in order to help him. There is one thing we know for sure and that is that John will need surgery."

Taking a deep breath, Roy got up to call his wife. While he waited, he cautiously woke up Johnny and let him know that a medication was going to make him sleep and when he woke up, he might have a tube down his throat. No one was sure right now how much Johnny was understanding, but hopefully, knowing ahead of time would mean less anxiety and less fear for him later.


	6. Questions

Twenty minutes later, Joanne came straight into the doctor's lounge as asked and wrapped her arms tightly around her husband. This was the first time he had ever asked her to come in before being told what was going on with Johnny and it wasn't sitting well at all with her. Sitting down, holding hands, they looked towards Dr. Early.

"So," Jo took a breath. "What's going on with our boy?"

Smiling slightly, glad that Johnny had such caring people as them listed as his next of kin, Dr. Early began laying out what was happening.

"First of all, let me remind you, that everything is sort of up in the air. The brain is still quite a mystery, but based on previous cases I've had and studied, there is a pattern to what I have found and observed.

"Right now, Dr. Brackett and I are fairly sure that Johnny somehow received a mild to moderate conscious about four or five days ago. That day you said he wasn't acting quite right?" Seeing Roy nod, he continued on. "It appears that he had mild bleeding from that incident based on the x-ray images. The bleeding had caused some swelling, but all that I could see that remained was a hint of it in the area of the old bleed. It was resolving itself and if it wasn't for what happened today, it is likely that Johnny would have recovered. Yes, it would have been a slower recovery time without medical help to make sure that the bleeding didn't cause any more issues, but then again, it wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened to someone without their knowledge.

"However, being knocked around like he was today with that explosion more or less caused his brain to be shaken around a quite a bit. It caused a lot of swelling and more bleeding. The bleeding needs to be taken care of soon as it is causing the swelling to worsen and if it isn't taken care of soon, permanent damage could be done. Johnny also has contusions, or what is commonly known as bruises, on his brain from the head injuries."

"Oh, God," breathed Joanne. "So what does this mean? Will he be okay?"

"Right now, we have him under sedation and we will get him up to surgery soon. After which, we will keep him in a medically induced coma for the next three days as we feel that that is the best thing for him. It will hopefully allow him the rest he needs for his brain to heal. In a few days, we will decrease the sedation rate and get him off the vent to see how he is.

"We will need to put him on steroids for about a week to help with the swelling. Once the swelling has decreased to a certain safe level, John will be slowly pulled off of them to see how he does without them. The first way we be monitoring the swelling is during surgery, a shunt that monitors that internal pressure will be inserted. Since we are just using bur holes to drain the blood and blood clots, it won't be difficult to do so. The next way we will do is x-rays and those will be taken at least once a day for the next four days. After that, every couple days for a few days after or as needed. We will also be using something called a C.T. or CAT Scan*. This is something new that Rampart has gotten and although it takes several hours to get a picture, it helps doctors see more of a three-dimensional image of the brain and the soft tissue.

"Dr. Brackett is suturing up the cuts and ensuring the burns are treated before the surgery. The burns are minor, mostly first degree with a few spots of second degree and one area of third degree. They should heal fairly quickly and are located mostly on the back of his leg. Johnny's right ankle was fractured, as well as his foot, so after surgery, when the swelling goes down a bit, the orthopedic specialist will put a cast on his foot and ankle. It should heal within six to eight weeks. The fourth and fifth rib are just cracked while the sixth is fractured," pausing, Doctor Early steeled himself for what he was going to say next, knowing that it would be the most difficult to hear for Joanne.

"Before he was given the sedation, he wasn't sure of where he was, who anyone around him was or how old he was. He thought his parents were still alive and that, with the tone of voice and vocabulary makes us think he was acting around five or six years old."

Closing her eyes, Joanne couldn't even begin to imagine the terror Johnny must have felt at waking up in a strange place to people he didn't know. Considering that her children would either love meeting new people or be terrified of them depending on how they felt on a given day, she could only imagine how scared he must have been. And Roy! The only good thing she could see was that he was a paramedic and used to dealing with the unexpected. Joanne knew that his heart had to be breaking for Johnny though. Those two had to have been connected somehow in a past life considering how close they are.

Choking back a sob, she asked, "What do we do now?"

"What happens if nothing changes when he wakes up?" Roy acts, petrified.

"Right now, the only thing we can do, is wait and pray," Dr. Early said sadly. He hated this situation as well and wished there was something he could do. "Hopefully, once we get the blood removed, the swelling will go away quickly. The bruising will heal over time, just as any bruise would. Unfortunately, the bruising could take a while and this is where we run into a problem."

"Problem?" Roy cleared his throat. _What else could go wrong?_

"Usually," Dr. Early held up his hand to emphasize this point. "Usually, the swelling or bruising is what causing this age regression. If it is the swelling, with the medications we would like to give Johnny that should go away in a few days. However, if it is the bruising that is the cause, it could take longer."

"How long?" Roy asked, not sure he really wanted to know.

"It depends on how long the bruises take to heal; if they take too long to heal, the damage could be permanent. It also depends on where the bruise is located as there are a few of them in various areas. Different areas of the brain affect different aspects, such as language, memory or whatnot," Dr. Early explained quietly. "We're not at that point though, so right now, let's just focus on now, okay?"

Nodding their heads, Joanne and Roy asked to see Johnny before his surgery. Allowing it, Dr. Early said that they should get as much rest as possible as he would like Roy in Johnny's room when they started weaning him off the sedation.

Agreeing quickly, the two were shown into the treatment room. Before he was moved upstairs to the surgery, Jo gave him a kiss and told him to hang on, that they would be there. It was going to be a very long three days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C.T. Scan's were invented by Godfrey Hounsfield in EMI Laboratories, England and Allan Cormack of Tufts University, Massachusetts. When C.T. Scans first were invented, it would take hours for the scan and days to get the results of the scan. Robert S. Ledley was issued a patent for the CAT Scan on November 25, 1975. Around 1980, when this story takes place (see below for explanation), C.T. Scans were finally starting to become widely used by hospitals even though the images were not always the best and often fuzzy. They were however still useful for looking at soft tissue.


	7. Waiting

For Roy, the next three days past by almost too quickly, while at the same time, seemed to crawl past. So many questions were racing through his mind, though he didn't voice them out loud in fear of causing Jo more worry. What he didn't realize was that Joanne was thinking so many of the same thoughts. Johnny was such a huge part of their family for both them and their children. Despite Dr. Early telling him to rest, no matter how willing his body was, his mind was far from cooperative.

All Roy could do was think of the same questions, over and over: What if Johnny didn't recover? What if something happened and the worse came to worse, how would they all deal with it? **What would happen if he _did_ wake up? ** What if Johnny was stuck in his past forever? Where would he go? How would the kids react? How would Johnny react if he did recover, but only partly? What if Johnny couldn't be part of the paramedics anymore and realized it? **_How? If?_** kept spinning around inside his head.

Roy made sure Captain Stanley was updated, but considering nothing much was changing and all anyone could do was wait, he didn't feel like he was doing much at all. He tried helping Joanne with the household chores, but half the time, ended up staring off into space or wandering about aimlessly. It was easier when the kids were home as they demanded their dad's attention. They sensed something was happening and wanted the reassurance that at least things were normal at home.

Joanne had much the same issues as Roy did. She too had many of the same questions Roy had and her mind kept wondering back to the first days when she met him. Even though Johnny had avoided coming home with Roy for quite a while, after finding out that Roy had chosen him for a partner, she had insisted on meeting him. According to Roy, it was a tough sell because he didn't want to bother her considering the fact Jennifer had just been born.

Remembering back to their first meeting, Joanne still wished she could have done it over. At first, she thought that was kind of him to think of her and the kids before he entered her home. Roy had never told her how old Johnny was and the fact that he had finished near the top of his paramedic class didn't factor into her opinion. Jo had actually asked him how old he was and was surprised that he was just four years younger than Roy at 21 years of age. Unlike Roy, he had entered into the fire service at 18 whereas Roy had spent 2 years in the military before joining*.

However, despite her somewhat snobbish attitude towards him, he was unfailing polite. Johnny did seem uncomfortable with the kids and Chris wasn't too sure what to make of him either. When Roy placed Jenny in his arms, claiming he needed 'field practice', she almost scolded the both of them, but was too stunned that her daughter didn't start yelling. Instead, she simply stared at him, almost daring him to move. She watched as he just stared back and something inside of him seemed to unlock a bit as he smiled at Jenny.

_If he and Jenny had a bonding moment, that would have surely been it since she grabbed his finger as best as she could and didn't want to let go,_ Joanne smiled at the remembered mental picture. Even Chris seemed to sense the change. It still was a while until Johnny felt comfortable around us, but if anything, he came to their house for the kids.

In the end, the memories of the last decade of their lives with Johnny had both Roy and Joanne coming to the same conclusion: Some way, somehow, they would do their best to help Johnny live the best possible life. Neither one could foresee a life where Johnny wasn't in it in some way.

On the fourth day of Johnny's hospital stay, Roy was trying to eat breakfast with his family. Chris and Jenny had been wondering why he was home when he should be going to work and knowing the time had come, he tried to explain the situation.

_Although, how on earth am I to explain something I don't even understand?!_ Roy questioned himself.

"You both know Uncle Johnny got hurt at work the last shift," Roy saw their nods and continued on. "Well, he had to have brain surgery to remove some blood from his brain to help him heal. Although the doctors say that the surgery work, there is another problem. Johnny had bruises on his brain too, causing him to think he was younger, a lot younger, than he really is and the doctors have medicated him constantly, so he can hopefully heal."

"He will be okay, right dad?" Jenny asked, afraid and feeling younger than her age for the first time in a while.

"They aren't sure sweetie. They hope so, but until the docs see how Johnny is when he wakes up, they won't know if he is back to how he usually is. If he isn't, they aren't sure how long it might take for his brain to heal."

"But it will heal," Chris tried to sound confident, but was less than successful.

"Unfortunately, the doctors aren't sure yet. It depends on how fast the bruises heal. If it takes too long, it might mean that there is permanent damage," Roy honestly answered, figuring if his children were old enough to ask, they were old enough to hear an honest answer.

"But what does that mean," Chris asked impatiently, poking at his cereal.

"It could mean a lot of things, Chris. It could mean that Johnny thinks he is still young, it could mean speech problems, or it could mean other things. I honestly am not sure. I didn't ask many questions about what could happen. I was just told that where ever there is a bruise, there is a possibility that the issues he had when he was brought into the hospital could be permanent."

"So, Uncle Johnny thought he was young? Did he remember you at least dad?" Jenny was worried that he would forget about them. She didn't remember a time in her life without him and to even think about him not remembering those memories hurt.

"No, honey, he didn't. We, the doctors and I," he corrected. "Think that Johnny believed he was around seven years old or so based on some things he said. We weren't sure however. I was able to at least talk to him and help him be less afraid of what was taking place, so that is why I am going to the hospital right after lunch. That way, if he still doesn't remember, he will at least have one familiar face around."

Nodding her head, Jenny went and gave her dad a hug before giving her mom one. She just prayed Uncle Johnny was back to normal when he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> 1\. The Wedworth-Townsend Paramedic Act of the California State Legislature was passed by Governor Reagan on July 14, 1970. There is also the fact that Johnny and Roy were working with Nurses during his birthday which is reported as August 28th. I am just assuming based on how slow I know government can work that ten months for a bill to pass is not too long. Therefore, I put the two of them meeting at the recruiting time as April and training May through July of 1969.
> 
> 2\. Based on what I could find through the internet, the average enlistment period was 2 to 6 years. I am putting Roy down as having served for two years. The fact that he than joined the fire department would mean that if he did get recalled into active duty (which is possible, at least today), he could get a deferment based on the fact he was serving his country as a firefighter.


	8. More Questions

It wasn't until just after breakfast on the fifth day before Johnny began to make movements. Immediately alerted, Roy began holding his hand, reassuring him that everything was okay, that it was okay to wake. Every time Roy felt Johnny move, he would just calmly repeated the same things. Just before noon, the brown eyes opened slowly.

Looking around the room, Johnny could not recognize anything. He began to struggle, setting off the vent and heart alarms, scaring him more. Unfortunately for Johnny, Roy had chosen that moment for a bathroom break. Hearing the noise, he finished up quickly and hurried back in.

"Johnny, Johnny," Roy soothed, grabbing on to the flaying hand. "Its ok, its ok. Everything is okay. I'm here. I got you. Let the machine breath for you. I know you are confused. It's okay. Just relax."

The nurse working on the floor saw Roy had everything under control, and knowing about the possible situation, didn't bother to stop to check for vitals. Instead, she called downstairs to the ER to let Dr. Early and Dixie know Johnny was awake.

Five minutes late, both Dixie and Dr. Early enter slowly in hopes of not startling Johnny. Thankfully, he was focused on Roy and breathing with the machine. When Dr. Early got Roy's attention, Roy switched the focus from breathing to the doctor and nurse.

"Ok, Johnny, here's Doctor Early and Nurse Dixie again. They want to see how you are doing, okay? Maybe get that yucky tube out of your mouth?" Roy joked, knowing if Johnny was back to his old self, he would be teased relentlessly for a long time, but right now he didn't care. He would rather error on the side of caution. Besides, Johnny still wasn't acting right. Maybe he was just panicking since he couldn't remember anything.

_Yeah, and maybe pigs fly,_ Roy thought.

Taking the time and care to explain everything to Johnny, Roy held his hand, praying that things would be back to normal.

"Johnny, it looks like you can breathe good without any help. So we are going to take the tube from your mouth out, alright?" Dr. Early said to both Johnny and Roy. "It may hurt, but it will be worth it."

Leaving the explanation on just how it would be done to Roy, Dixie and Dr. Early got everything they needed to extubate.

"Ready, sweetheart?" Dixie asked.

Nodding, Johnny tried coughing as Dr. Early began pulling the tube. It hurt a lot as if felt as if they were trying to pull out his insides and after it was done, he ended up in tears. He curled up in a ball, feeling miserable and alone.

"What's wrong, Johnny," Roy gently prodded, rubbing his back.

"Mo... da gone where. Want 'em," he rasped, his throat on fire for some reason unknown to him.

Looking up at Dr. Early, Roy didn't know what to do. At this point, Dr. Early came around and sat on the bed by Johnny.

"Hey, Johnny."

"Hi," was the meek reply.

"Can I ask you some questions?"

A small shrug with a nod was the only answer.

"Thanks," Dr. Early smiled at the pouting look on his face. Hopefully, the CT scan results from yesterday would be ready soon. Those, along with some questions, should help with the diagnoses.

"Can you tell me how old you are?"

"Sv’n," Johnny softly replied.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Cli…nic?"

"Close, it's a hospital. It's sort of like a hospital, but we have more things to help people here," Dr. Early explained. "Do you know what state you are in?"

"Ok…la…home, …snows a fallin’."

"Ahhh, must be winter huh?" Dixie asked with a smile, relieved his speech was slowly clearing up as he went on.

"Yep."

"So what month is it?" she asked. "I forgot."

"Like me?" he asked with wonder.

"Yep," she stated, smiling at him.

"Novem’er. Birthday not long go."

"Cool. My birthdays in November," Roy said, glad to see Johnny was at least smiling a bit more.

"Real?"

"Yep, November 7. When's yours?"

"Aug…gust 28."

"Wow."

"Yea. Is ma and dad here soooon?" Johnny went back to his original question. These _seemed_ like nice people, but he wanted his parents.

Dr. Early, Dixie and Roy exchanged glances. None of them knew what to tell him. To Johnny, he was just a boy, in fact, in his mind, he had just turned seven and his parents were alive. How were they supposed to break the news that his parents were gone; in fact, they had died at least 20 years ago?

"Dr. Early, here are your results you wanted," the ICU nurse assigned to Johnny's case saved them all for at least a little bit longer.

"Johnny, we have to look at some pictures now. It will tell us something's about you and we can talk more later, ok?" Roy said, rubbing his back. Seeing the tears building in Johnny's eyes, he gave him a quick hug, pulling the blanket up and around him tight to tuck him in. "Try to rest some more. I will be back soon, I promise. Plus, I have someone who would like to meet you, okay?"

Nodding, Johnny tried to stop the tears and closed his eyes, happy to be allowed to fall back asleep so he wouldn't have to think anymore. To him, this was a scary place and everything hurt.

In a consulting room, Dr. Early was going over the results of the CT scan when Roy walked in. He had just called Joanne and let her know that so far, no change was apparent, but she was more than welcome to come down.

"So, doc, what's new?"

"Unfortunately, not much, Roy," Dr. Early sighed as he slipped into a seat. "The swelling is so minimal a day, maybe two on the medication yet and we can start reducing the medications. Hopefully, within five days, Johnny can be off of the steroid completely. At least, it seems his speech is clearing up the more he is talking, so that issue was likely caused by the swelling and bruising. However, the regression doesn’t seem to have the same cause."

"In other words, it is the bruising causing the regression."

"Yes, I’m afraid so. Also, the bruises have had a chance to 'settle' as it were and are about as bad as they are going to get at this point. What I see is even worse than what I had suspected and I really am unsure what to do. I have called other neurosurgeons to consult on his cases, anonymously of course, but as of now, no medications will help. Only time is known to help settle the bruising.

"And with the amount and depth of bruising, well, I am honestly unsure how long this might last. The one thing I along with my colleagues are sure of however is that as long as there is no new trauma, eventually the bruises will heal. The damage left over in that case, however…"

"Is unknown. And you don't know how long it will last or how permanent the regression will be, right?" Roy stated back frustrated and scared.

Jo chose that moment to walk in, having heard her husband.

"Honey, we will get through this, somehow. We have to for Johnny."

"I know, but what do we do? He doesn't know where he is, he thinks its November, not May. He thinks he's still in Oklahoma. He thinks he just turned seven years old and is waiting to go home with his parents yet. How do we tell him he's in California and he's actually close to 30? What are we supposed to do if this last a while like Dr. Early seems to think? Where will he go? What will he do? What will _we_ do?" All the stress, fear and frustration seemed to bubble over at that point. So many things were uncertain. "We called his aunt, she already said that there was no point in coming down and that everything was up to us. She has basically washed her hands of him."

Jo just gathered him up in his arms. She too was terrified, but what he didn't know is that she had talked to the kids last night about their Uncle Johnny.

Dr. Early chose that moment to offer them what he viewed as the logical choices, "Well, right now, he needs to stay in the ICU at least another couple of days before we move him to a regular floor. After that, we have at least another week and a half to figure things out since both Dr. Brackett and I want to ensure that all of his antibiotics are through IV, not mouth. Now, you are right, by then, I don't believe the problem will be solved. However, we have a week to find a nice place where they can take care of him, until he gets better or…"

"Or what? Or he wastes away in some type of nursing home?" Roy asked, furious.

"No, Roy. They have what is called an 'Adult Care Home' now. I am sure..."

"No!" This time it was Jo who interrupted with anger in her voice, startling both men who had rarely seen her angry. "With Roy's permission, and if Johnny is comfortable with the family, who we will let him meet over his time here, we will take him _HOME._ He belongs with us. I have already talked to Chris and Jenny. They asked what would happen to him and when I mentioned possibly putting him in such a place, they begged me to make sure it didn't happen. We all love him way too much for that to happen. He needs to be with family. They know it will mean things will be different, that they will have to be an older sibling to him, but as both stated, they have always wanted a younger sibling so might as well be one who they already love."

"Jo, are you sure? I mean, how would you handle basically three kids?" Roy was amazed at his family and loved them all the more.

"Well, I have already raised two seven year olds, at least this time, I know what to expect. If he never changes, I will love him just how he is. It is simple as that. He will have to follow the basic family rules and be a part of the family, but I really believe it could work."

"Well, doc, I think you heard my wife," Roy smiled smugly.

"It will be a lot of responsibility, Jo."

"I can learn whatever I need to. Roy only works one out of three days. I am sure I can manage, especially since the kids volunteered to help. Plus, I am sure others are more than willing to help. Even if not, I and Roy, don't care." Jo had glanced at Roy, seeing he was just as determined as she was to protect and fight for Johnny.

"I know Dr. Brackett was thinking about asking me to take on the paramedic training. It would mean I could be home every night and week night. I would still be able to take the promotion to captain that Johnny and I just found out we got," Roy saddened at the thought, knowing his friend may never get to realize his dream now. "Plus, I believe that this is a work related injury, correct?"

"Yes, that's right," Dr. Early said, reluctant to agree. "Why don't we just take things one day at a time right now? In a week's time, we should have a better time frame of how long it might be before the bruises might heal. I know how much you care about Johnny and accept him as one of the family, but I am not sure you understand what you might be undertaking, even if his condition is a short term issue.

"You have to understand, Johnny is going to go through a lot. There is the physical aspect of his injury which could mean many different things from mood swings, to memory problems, to speech problems to a number of other issues. Then, you have to take into account the emotional factor. Even if this is temporary, he will have to deal with the issue of losing his parents all over again. Plus, he may have to come to terms with the fact that despite feeling, thinking and in all sense, acting like a young boy, he looks a lot older. That fact alone, knowing that his perspective is vastly different than what he knows it will be hard to conceive. On top of all that, yes, he does seem to respond positively to you Roy, but you and your family are strangers to him. To him, he doesn't know you nor has never met you before. Trust will need to be built.

"At the very least, if you are still willing to take this on after really thinking about all this, I want all of you, not just Johnny, but your entire family to attend counseling sessions. Not just separately, but with just your family and then together with Johnny before you take him home. I won't agree to even think about releasing him into your care until I see a counselor's recommendations as well as how Johnny interacts with everyone. I also want to know what a physical therapist says, because he may need inpatient rehabilitation. I know it will be a lot to cram into a short time period, but considering his injuries, we can justifiably keep him here an extra week if needed on the rehab floor. After all that, if I agree to it, if this is something you really do want to take on, I can come over and explain things as well so everyone knows what to look for just in case something happens. I will also try to get you some resources to help you out."

"Thanks, doc. That'll help, but I think our kids might just surprise you," Roy stated.

"Roy here has taught them all about first-aid, and I doubt it is what is considered normal first-aid in fact," Jo laughed a bit, knowing a paramedics definition of 'basic' meant much more was covered than would normally be covered by a community course for babysitters. Besides what was taught at Scouts, her kids already had learned how to look for signs of shock, how to control different types of bleeding, what to look for if someone might have a concussion and various other things by the time they were nine years old. Their Uncle Johnny and dad had even made sure to test them often.

Steeling themselves for the grim task ahead, Roy and Joanne clasped hands together, ready to face whatever new direction life might take them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Wedworth-Townsend Paramedic Act of the California State Legislature was passed by Governor Reagan on July 14, 1970. There is also the fact that Johnny and Roy were working with Nurses during his birthday which is reported as August 28th. I am just assuming based on how slow I know government can work that ten months for a bill to pass is not too long. Therefore, I put the two of them meeting at the recruiting time as April and training May through July of 1969.


	9. Exam

After making some calls, Doctor Early joined the DeSoto’s again and allowed Roy to begin leading him and Jo into Johnny’s cubicle. Before they could enter however, the nurse in charge of Johnny's care asked to speak with the three of them, away from where he might overhear.

"Dr. Early," Nurse Fitz began. "We tried to perform the nuero and vitals checks as asked, but we ran into a problem… If he was sleeping and we woke him up, or if he was awake and we tried to perform the checks, Johnny would just end up almost hyperventilating. It wasn't until we would back-up or even left the room that he would calm down. I was just about to call you when I saw you coming off the elevator."

"That's odd," Roy replied with a slight frown. "He seemed to deal with them just fine while I was there. Johnny wasn't too thrilled about them, but he cooperated at least."

"That's the thing though, Roy. You were there," Dr. Early explained. "It's what I tried to tell you. Right now, John is extremely confused, scared, worried, and he doesn't know what is going on. He is more than likely forgetting what he was told not too long ago and is struggling to take in everything. Those things alone are enough to throw off someone's emotional balance. On top of that, with his injuries and surgery, he is fighting the emotional and physical upheaval of that as well. It will take quite a while to regain his balance again, if he ever does regain his emotional balance fully.

“Johnny is also surrounded by what he believes are strangers, yet these same people are trying to tell him that they know who he is and who he is as a person. At the same time, his body is trying hard to recover physically and that alone would be hard enough with the numerous injuries, but when you consider his emotional state of mind as well," Dr. Early sighed heavily.

"Let's just say, us doctors will have to be more vigilant than normal to ensure he doesn't come down with any infections or complications. Anyone who does interact with him will need to remember to be patient with him and remember that this is not the John Gage we remember. Thankfully, from what I have observed in emergency and the ICU so far, for whatever reason however, it does seem that the deep bond that connects you two together still exists. Although Johnny doesn't seem to realize this, he does trust you more than anyone else. I don't believe he fully trusts you, but he is willing to give you the benefit of the doubt given the fact of this connect you two have. That is why I have wanted you around."

"I understand, and I will be here as much as possible," Roy promised. "I know I will need to stop at home soon, just to let my kids know how he is doing when they get home from school."

"That is more than understandable and you won't have to worry. I will probably be keeping him lightly sedated with anti-anxiety meds after running a few tests considering how he has reacted so far. With all the trauma his body has gone through, it shouldn't be hard for him to sleep much of the time. So, how about we see how Johnny is doing? And Roy, if you don't mind, why don't you take his vitals and after that, I'll just run a quick nuero check and exam to see where we are."

"Sure, doc, that's no problem. Ready, honey?" Roy asked Joanne.

"Yes," she replied, mentally calming herself down. She honestly had no idea what to expect or how to react and for someone who prided herself on being able to be strong for others, it was a bit of shock to feel so vulnerable.

Knocking softly on the doorway of Johnny's ICU are, Roy entered quietly. Seeing that Johnny was awake and just staring out the window, he asked, "See anything interesting?"

Shaking his head no, Johnny didn't bother to turn and see who was invading his space this time. It seemed as though someone was always bugging him, wanting to poke him or hurt him for no reason he could think of. They kept saying it wasn't because he was bad, but during the few times he had fallen asleep, Johnny figured they must be lying. He may not know why he was here or why he hurt so much, but he did remember that he was told that his parents couldn't be there with him before he went to sleep. Considering he was seven years old and if he 'membered right, it was almost time for Christmas, that meant his parents were both gone. Johnny just couldn't figure out why they were lying to him, especially that blonde hair man. He seemed so kind and gentle. Shrugging his shoulder, Johnny heard his name coming from the white hair man…a doctor, he believed, but not in time to figure out what he had said.

"Did you get that, Johnny?" Dr. Early asked patiently, seeing Johnny's attention had wandered when Roy introduced Joanne and then he taken over to let him know that there were tests he wanted to run.

"Nope," Johnny stated bluntly with a bit of an attitude.

"What were you thinking about, sweetie?" Jo asked.

"Who’s hell you?" Johnny was starting to feel crowded. That doctor was near his feet and blocking the door, the blonde hair man- _ROY! That's it, that's his name!_ – was near his head on the right side blocking the window and now this lady was between these two.

"Her name is Joanne," Roy explained as patiently as possible. "Please, don't swear. I know you must be frustrated, but maybe if you tell us why, we can help."

"Why you did not tell me mama and dad are gone? Why I here, whatcha want with me anyway?"

Joanne's mothering instinct took over at that point and she sat on the bed next to Johnny.

"Honey, no one told you about your mom and dad because we didn't know how to tell you. We also had hoped that when you woke up, you would feel better and remember things on your own. If you hadn't remembered, I promise you, we would have told you today."

"Really?" Johnny was still suspicious and looked to Roy for confirmation.

"Yes. We also promise that we will help you out as much as we possibly can since your parents aren't here, alright? I know you don't know us, but both Joanne and I are hoping you will give us a chance to get to know us. We would love to have you as part of our lives."

"Why? I just a half-breed…"

"So," Joanne waved it off. "I have a lot of different types of people in my background. So does Roy. I don't mind in the least about Roy or about you, or about anyone's color or background. Does that make sense?"

Shaking his head yes skeptically, Johnny decided he would have to keep an eye on what she did. He had already learned that what people said, wasn't always what they did and like his parents taught him, it was best to judge people by how they were, not what they said.

Seeing that it'd take time, energy and effort for trust to be built on the DeSoto's part, as well as anyone who came into contact with Johnny, Dr. Early decided to note that fact so one nurse would be assigned to him each shift. Hopefully, without different ones coming in and out, it would alleviate some of the stress and fear Johnny would feel when they had to check in on him.

"John, if it is okay with you, I'd like Roy to take your vital signs so we can see how you are doing. After that, I would like to run just a few short tests myself. We'll have to have the nurses take your vital signs every half-hour right now, but you can sleep in between them, okay?" Dr. Early promised as he witness Johnny yawned.

"What signs? And I didn't study for no test…" Johnny anxiously told him.

"It's okay, you don't need to study for these tests," Roy assured him. "Would you like it if Joanne stayed or would you rather that she leaves? She could always stop on by before we leave."

Overwhelmed by the information, Johnny couldn't process anything and his anxiety began causing him to hyperventilate.

"Johnny," Roy softly commanded. When that failed to capture his attention, he tried again. This time, he grasped Johnny's head lightly to turn it towards him so Johnny could concentrate on him. "John, look at me."

Glancing up at Roy, John reached out a hand, finally grabbing Joanne's hand.

"Take a deep breath in," Roy coached gently. "That's a boy. Now let it out. Take another breath in and hold it. Let that breathe out."

After a couple of minutes, Roy had successfully calmed down Johnny.

"I'm so sorry," Roy apologized, dropping his hand from Johnny's face. "I didn't mean to pile on so much on you."

"Why you saying sorry?" Johnny was confused. It was rare that anyone would say those words to him, unless it was his family.

"Because I know your head must hurt and you are having a hard time with everything. I forgot that for a bit. It was my fault."

"Okay…" unable to think of a good response, Johnny just let it go.

"Since you seem okay with Joanne, would you like her to stay?" asked Roy, seeing that Johnny still held her hand.

"Oh! I'm sorry…" Johnny stuttered, trying to let go of her hand. "Ma'am, I didn't know, sorry."

"It's okay, sweetie," Joanne smiled. "And you don't need to call me ma'am. Joanne is fine."

Blushing and ducking his head, Johnny shook his head and told her he couldn't.

Lifting up his face gently, Joanne asked, "Why not?"

"Mama and Dad always said I call adults by the last name or ma'am or sir. To respect to them. I don't know your last name so…" again, Johnny blushed and tried ducking his head.

For a few moments, there was silence while Roy and Joanne looked at one another. Both were clear: neither felt comfortable being addressed that way, no matter how long it may be for, yet they knew they had to respect how Johnny was raised.

"How about for right now, you just call us Uncle Roy and Aunt Jo?" Roy held his breath. It would be beyond odd for his partner to call him that, but it would solve both problems he and Jo had. Plus, that was the same solution Johnny had come up with when he grew close enough to their family that if felt too formal for Chris to call him Mr. Gage while calling him by his given name wasn't deemed appropriate or respectful in the adult's eyes.

"Really?" Johnny seemed to perk up at this news. Unfortunately, for him, it meant trying to move as well and that did not bode well at all for him.

As soon as he tried straightening in bed due to his eagerness, pain shot through his legs and lower back as the stitches were tugged. The burns rubbed against the blankets causing him to groan. Worst yet, the movement triggered a head rush causing even more dizziness. All in all, the result was more nauseous and if it wasn't for the NG tube, Johnny would have become sick. As it were, Dr. Early quickly stepped outside the ICU cubicle and let a nurse the medications he would need.

Stepping back in, Dr. Early saw the DeSoto's resettling him back on the bed.

"Johnny," he nearly whispered. "I know right now you are in a lot of pain. To help get rid of that pain though, I need Roy to do a vitals check first. Then I need to do some of my own tests. It won't take too long, but it needs to be done. Joanne will stay by you if you would like."

Hesitating, Johnny thought about it briefly. It wasn't long before he agreed to letting her stay however as she reminded him of his own mother.

"Alright, than, Joanne, if you could come stay on his right side. Johnny, the first thing Roy will do is take your temperature, the thermometer is going to need to stay in your mouth for about three minutes," Dr. Early nodded to Roy who already had everything laid out for the vitals check.

"While we are waiting for that, Roy is going to put what is called a blood pressure cup on your arm. It will tighten on your arm and he will listen to the blood flow in your arm as it tightens. It might hurt or pinch a bit, it may even make your arm a bit tingly but it will go away soon enough," he explained as Roy pumped up the blood pressure cup. "He is going to put his fingers on your wrists to check your pulse."

Again, Dr. Early waited a bit until Roy was done so as not to overwhelm Johnny. "Finally, he is going to put his hands on your stomach to count how many times you breathe. Now that all that is done, he just needs to pull out the thermometer and that is it. Was that too scary?"

"Nah," Johnny said, yawning. "Just boring and tiring. Nap time?"

"Sorry, I still need to run my tests," Dr. Early told him. "After that, you can sleep. Just remember, Joanne and Roy need to get some sleep too, so they will be going home after you fall asleep. They will be back tomorrow though, alright? There will be a nurse who will be checking in on you now and again, you just let her know if you need anything at all or if you need one of us.

"Now, for my tests, it may hurt a bit, which is why I didn't give you the medications that will help the pain right away. Plus, the medications will make you sleepy. Thanks, Roy," Dr. Early said as Roy walked over to the other side of the bed, knowing the doctor would need room to work.

"Alright, Johnny, first, I am going to shine this small flashlight into your eyes," Dr. Early lifted first the left eyelid and flashed the light over the eye a couple of times before doing the same with the other eye. Each time the light passed over Johnny's eye, he tried moving out of the way, but Roy was there to help hold him still while Joanne held onto his hand. As Doctor Early got out the otoscope, he made sure to explain that it was just a fancier version of the flashlight.

"Plus, this way, not only can I see really good up your nose, I can also see into your ears. Thankfully, I can't see _through_ them, which is very good news," Dr. Early told him as he continued to demonstrate exactly what the otoscope could do, drawing giggles from Johnny, as well as Roy and Joanne. "I can also see into your eyes. I also can see what your mouth looks like inside.

"You did very well. Now, if you could hold your head still and follow my finger," Dr. Early asked. "Great job. Can you tell me how many fingers I am holding up?"

"Three?" Johnny asked, not quite sure that the answer was right.

Smiling, Dr. Early announced that Johnny was doing very good.

"We are almost done, I need you to take both of my hands and squeeze them as hard as possible," Dr. Early asked as he placed his hands by Johnny's. After he had done so, Dr. Early moved to the end of the bed and flipped up the covers to uncover his feet. Placing his hands flat against Johnny's left foot, he asked him to press down as hard as he could.

Trying, Johnny let out a sharp yelp of pain. When he had tried to do so, it had felt as though he was trying to rip apart his back. Becoming angry within mere seconds, he grabbed the closest thing near him, a glass of water, at Dr. Early. Considering that he tried throwing the glass with his right hand, he managed to rip out his IV of antibiotics that were piggy-backed to the fluids. Fortunately for Dr. Early, the glass didn't go far and basically tumbled out of Johnny's hand.

Shocked, Roy snapped, "Johnny!"

Ashamed, he turned his back to Roy and Joanne the best he could, pulling his covers up as far as they could go. He didn't care about the blood flowing down his arm from his blown IV or anything else. He just wanted to disappear.

"Roy, remember, you have to be patient," Jo whispered so quietly Roy could barely hear her.

Nodding, Roy joined Dr. Early on the other side of the bed to try to coax Johnny out from under the covers.

"Johnny, I'm not mad. I was, well, I was just surprised that you threw the glass. I guess I didn't think about why you threw it. Joanne reminded me and well, I get it now too. I would have thrown the glass too. Actually, I think I would have thrown something heavier and would actually have hit the doc," Roy joked.

Peeking out from under the blankets, Johnny's brown eyes looked wary until he saw Roy's look.

"Reallys?" he asked in wonder.

"Yeah, it has to hurt with all those stitches on your back."

"Why are they there?"

Looking at Dr. Early for confirmation that it was okay to tell him, Roy explained that he'd been caught in a fire and when he was trying to escape, something blew up, making him fly a bit, causing him to get hurt.

"Wow," Johnny stated.

"Wow is right," Roy repeated, thinking that was an understatement. "Now, you need this IV, it helps you from getting sick and that way you don't have to get a shot every time you need medication, so how about I put it back in for you?"

Pushing the blankets down to his elbows, Johnny moaned.

"Hate needles."

"Better one needle than having the nurses keep sticking you a lot whenever you need your medications. That would hurt a lot more," Roy reasoned.

Giving in, Johnny held out his right hand where Roy inserted a new IV needle and put a bandage over the old IV site. Once that was established, Dr. Early gave Johnny the medications for pain and to help him sleep. When he finally dozed off, the three of them exited his room as silently as possible.


	10. And the Results Are

"If you two have a bit of time before you need to leave, I can go over the results with you," Dr. Early told Joanne and Roy.

Glancing at her gold plated watch with a red leather-like band, Joanne noted it was almost three in the afternoon.

"We have some time. Our neighbor is picking up the kids at the bus stop, but I did tell her we would be home by 4:00," Joanne explained.

Nodding, Dr. Early asked for a minute as he went to the ICU monitoring desk to speak with Nurse Fritz.

"Maggie?"

"Yes, Doctor?" Nurse Fritz looked up from the charts she was going over. Shift change may have been three hours away, but to her, it was fast approaching. As one of two head nurses of working the day shift on the ICU ward, she needed to ensure everything was in order and the paperwork seemed endless.

"I was hoping that you would take over Johnny's case, at least until the new shift arrived. I have some special instructions that I would like carried out. If you can't, if you could let me know of someone who could..."

"Oh, no, I wouldn't mind," she told him. Maggie's own brother was a firefighter in San Diego, so she had a special place in her heart for firefighters. "I can always work on the charts later or have Sara help me out."

"Thanks. Right now, he is having some mood swings and is confused about what is going on, where he is. He still believes he is seven years old and he doesn't realize that he lives in California. I don't want anyone to mention that to him. I doubt he'll ask, but if he does, either page me or Dr. Brackett. I will be on shift until midnight tonight and on-call after that. Brackett has the night shift tonight, so he will be coming in at eleven. I have my home phone listed on the charts, just in case anything comes up. Don't hesitate to call with any problems," Dr. Early emphasized.

"I would like to keep the vital checks every half hour up until 10 tonight. Then, reduce them to every hour. It will likely be hard so wake him gently, give him a chance to figure out he's in a hospital, prompt him if needed. It will help if you let him know who you are, that everything is fine and also, it will help if everything is explained right before you do so," after this, Doctor Early signs Johnny's chart and adds one more instruction. "On there is an order for 1 mg of morphine and for dexmedetomidine administered at .06 mcg/kg via his IV every hour. If you feel it isn't helping his anxiety, let me know. Right now, I would just like him to sleep in between the vital checks. Reduce the dosage to .04 mg/kg at 6:00 am.

"He will need blood work again around," looking at his watch, Dr. Early calculated the time. "Eight tonight. Call Dixie or I up before doing so and one of us will take care of it. If there is any problems at all, and I do mean anything, even if he is just acting out or things are difficult for you or the nurse who takes over, give Dixie or me a call, alright?"

"I got it all. I'll take good care of him and I will make sure the night staff knows as well. I'll even hand-pick out the nurse to take care of him," Maggie teased him a bit, but as she held out her copious notes that had been taken, Dr. Early knew Johnny was in the best hands possible.

"Thank you," Dr. Early flashed her a grateful smile. "Well, Roy, Joanne, should we go to the lounge real quick? It's much more comfortable and private area. I can let you know what I know now and what we can do to prepare."

"Sure, doc, lead the way," Roy said, taking Joanne's hand in his for comfort.

Following Dr. Early, both Joanne and Roy were filled with questions about how much had changed since they had met with him just before going to see Johnny. Joanne was in the dark even more so than Roy about what could possibly be different. Roy however, knew enough to know head injuries didn't always follow set patterns and could change in a moment's notice. He just wished he knew what had changed as it seemed to him that not much had changed, except for the fact that Johnny was more alert and aware.

 _Yes, he seems more frustrated than before,_ Roy acknowledged. _But since he IS more awake, he is likely finally feeling the pain of his injuries finally. Who wouldn't be frustrated and upset about that, especially if they couldn't remember how it happened. He also finally remembered his parents aren't here because they're dead. That cannot be easy to deal with either. When my dad died, I took out my anger on other people, even though they didn't deserve it, and I was a teenager. Considering Johnny's mindset has him believing he is seven, which has to be even harder for him to accept._

Shaking himself from his musing, Roy found himself in the surgical doctor's lounge before he realized it. Pulling out a chair for Jo before sitting down himself, he mentally braced himself.

"So, what has changed between what you told us before we saw Johnny and after?" Roy bluntly asked.

"I am not sure if you noticed or not, but when I asked Johnny to answer my question as to how many fingers were held up and to follow my fingers, not only did it take a couple of seconds longer than it should have for him to do so, he also had difficulty with it as well. This does raise a bit of concern as when Johnny was asked the basic questions about his age, the date and such, his reaction time was also slower than it should have been. I had hoped that it was due to just being taken off the vent and having some traces of sedation left in his system, but that doesn't seem to be the case. At this point, it is reasonable to assume that it’s likely caused by the head injury. Whether it is temporary or not remains to be seen."

Glancing at Joanne, Roy ran his hand over his face.

"No, neither of us noticed. I think we were both more worried about other things. Could it mean anything else, like an after effect from surgery?" Roy asked, grasping at straws.

"Unfortunately, it is very unlikely. You have to look at the positives though. This could very well just be a side effect of the injury and with time, Johnny's reaction times could speed up or even become normal again."

"Or it might not," Roy stated grimly. Faced with this new information, he felt overwhelmed and wondered just how long of a recovery period Johnny might be facing. Or if those in his life would actually have to accept this as the new reality. No matter what though, his resolve was firm: somehow, he'd help find a way to get Johnny though this.

"Roy," Joanne snapped at him, breaking into his depressing thoughts. "Those types of thoughts won't help anyone, least of all Johnny."

"She's right, and we have to focus on the positives. He is alive and at least he can talk, move and function. The rest can eventually be dealt with," Dr. Early pointed out. "Johnny does have some muscle weakness, but honestly, it wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be. With some physical therapy, and again, time, it should help. He will eventually need therapy for his ankle and legs anyway. I'll set up an appointment with a physical therapist in a couple days, but honestly, right now, I want to wait a bit. The first is due to the fact he needs to recover from the surgery. He will require a lot of sleep and rest.

"The second reason is that I don't want to overwhelm him. As you two saw, he is fragile emotionally and the smallest thing can set him off. I'd much rather work on helping him gain some stability there. Also, as the contusions heal, hopefully things will settle down and get back to normal. In the meantime, I have a psychologist in mind I would like him to see. I'm going to wait until later tomorrow to introduce them. His name is Doctor Druthers and works with families a lot of the time. I couldn't get the doctor who has worked with cases like Johnny's as he is backed-logged right now, but Doctor Druthers is very good and is willing to work with all five of you.

"Starting tomorrow, I'd like each of you to come in and spend at least forty-five minutes, if not a full hour each time talking to Doctor Druthers by yourselves. I know it is a lot to ask, but for the next three days, I want to have a commitment that all of you will do so. The doctor has helped develop this plan too. After this, on the fourth day, you will again meet separately and then have an hour-long family session once the individual sessions are done, although he told me that more time has been set aside for you if needed," studying both Roy and Joanne and seeing that they were overwhelmed, he decided to remind them of a simple fact. "You do not need to do this if you think it is too much. No one will think any less of you."

Roy snapped out, "I would think less of myself! But I will make sure my family knows that this isn't something that they have to do. I may not understand what I am getting into exactly, but I do know Jo would not allow me back in the house again if I didn't at least try. This is what both of us want. This is what our kids want."

Taking over, Joanne continued, "I know our kids are young and understand even less than we do about this situation. They don't really understand that they may never understand that their 'Uncle Johnny' may never be who he was. Truth be told, it's hard for Roy and I to grasp that as well. But Roy is right, we want to try. Even if Johnny doesn't remember us, we remember him and he is part of the family. Family sticks together and is there for one another. All we can do right now is try to prepare and help out Johnny. So we appreciate your concern, but frankly, it's not needed.

"As far as how the kids will be treated in the house, Roy and I will be sure and discuss this. In fact, his whole crew stop over individually and is coming tonight as a group. Each one of them has volunteered to help out when and where possible. They wanted to let us know that no matter how long it takes, they will be there. As a matter of fact, they wanted to talk to whatever doctor we would end up needing to talk to so that they would know how best to support our family."

Blinking his eyes in amazement, Dr. Early became speechless for a bit.

"So, doc, what do you think?" Roy asked, a bit smug.

"I have to admit, that if you can keep up this attitude and continue to get this kind of help, you might make it. I'll be sure to let Doctor Druthers know about your crew wanting to learn. It might be best if they visit the New Dawn Adult Care Home, as that is one place I want all of you to visit while Johnny is here. They have a few adults there with brain injuries. Unfortunately, they aren't as lucky as Johnny, but the people do have some similar issues, just to a worse degree. The care takers can also give you some tips and information on how best to help Johnny if, or when, things heal.

"I will want both you and Joanne to visit daily. Let him get to know about the both of you again, tell him about how you two met, your kids, family life. Tell him about your work Roy. I hate to put this on you, but since you know him best, it may be up to you to answer some of his questions, such as why hasn't his aunt taken him in. You need to be prepared for that since he may not be willing to open up to others yet and may only ask you two. Dr. Druthers can help you out of course and both him and I know that Johnny may not open up to him.

“If that is the case, we may ask one of you two to sit in on his sessions to help him feel more comfortable. I am sure your kids miss him, but wait a two or three days, then start introducing the idea of meeting your kids, see how he reacts. If he reacts well, than I say that we allow them to see one another. However, you will have to make sure both Chris and Jenny know not to call him 'Uncle'. You can wait to bring it up with Dr. Druthers if that helps. I can certainly understand that.

"Finally, if you are set in bringing him home with you to recover, you might need to take down pictures of him with your family or him when he is older. It all depends on how he reacts to seeing himself, which will be when Doctor Druthers feels he is ready. Maybe bring some items over that have special meaning to him from his apartment or something to help him out if you know he had them as a child. It would also be a good idea to have him near your bedroom just in case, if possible. Be patient, but don't allow him to do whatever he wants. Let him know if something isn't acceptable. The most important thing though is just to take things slow and not to expect too much."

"Thanks, doc," Roy stood up and shook Dr. Early's hand. "If you'll excuse us, we have to get going home. We promised to be home for supper. I'll be sure to be here after the kids leave for school in the morning."

"I'll be sure to visit for a bit in the afternoon after I drop the kids off and do some errands. Call us though if you need us for anything," Joanne added as they left the lounge and headed out of the hospital.


	11. Facing the Kids

Roy arrived at the DeSoto's two story house ten minutes after Joanne did, having stopped to pick up a pizza from a local place. With everything that had gone on lately, it would mean more time for them as a family to discuss what was expected of them. It would also give him more time with his family before his crew came over to discuss what exactly was going on with Johnny and what the expectations were for his recovery.

Opening the front door, Roy took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for a tough evening ahead.

_Although, I'm not too certain that things are going to be easy for quite a while yet. Even Dr. Early has cautioned that despite the fact that from a medical perspective, everything is going well, we still have to take things slowly as the surgery to remove the excess blood was less than a week ago and the swelling isn't completely gone yet. Johnny could still suffer some sort of setback or the bruises could cause more swelling, especially if his blood pressure becomes too high or he suffers another head injury before they are healed. I just hope that nothing else happens because I am not sure how much more any of us can take, me, my wife, kids, him or his friends._

His daughter's cry of "Daddy!" freed him from his worrying thoughts.

"Hi, sweetheart," Roy gave her a weak smile. "So how was your day?"

"It was fine," Jenny shrugged her shoulders. "Mom and Chris are setting up for supper and she said when you got here, we could eat."

"Well, let's go then, shall we," Roy took her hand and let her lead him into the kitchen. By how silent the dinner was, Roy knew Jo had told the kids that they would wait until after dinner to discuss how their uncle was doing.

"Can we be excused, mom?" Chris asked for himself and Jenny after seeing she, too was done with her salad and pizza.

"Yes, you may. In fact, we'll all help clean up and go in the living room to talk about what is happening and what the plans are," Jo replied.

Nodding his head, Roy got up and followed the others as they silently and quickly cleaned up after themselves. Once that chore was done, Roy led the family into the living room and took a seat on the end of the coach. Joanne sat on the end table across from him with Jenny next to her while Chris sat next to his dad. This way, they could all see one another, yet be close enough as well. Both Chris and Jenny had been scared after the talk that morning and although both were hoping for good news, they knew that if there was any, they would have been asked to wait.

Preparing himself, Roy began discussing the situation with his kids.

"I really am not sure how to start," looking down at his hands, Roy exhaled loudly. "I guess I should say that the surgery done to remove some blood in Uncle Johnny's brain did what it was supposed to… The swelling of his brain has gone down and Doctor Early feels that a couple of days more on medications should help it go down the rest of the way. That means, there shouldn't be any problems from that.

"The brain still has bruises and at this time, they are pretty bad. You know how bruises get worse before they get better?" Roy asked and looked at his two kids. Both of them nodded yes.

He wished with all his heart that his ten-year old daughter and eleven-year old son didn't have to hear this next part. But he and Joanne promised to be honest with them if something would affect them-besides, how could he not tell them? John had been around them their whole lives and for them, they didn't remember a time when he was a part of the DeSoto family. Even knowing that his two kids were caring, kind and had an uncommon ability to not only accept others for who they were, but to help those in need, Roy still wanted to protect them. Protect them from what, he wasn't sure, as he had made sure his kids were well-informed about topics many parents thought they were too young for.

 _Maybe just protect them from the harsh realities of life. Just because of the skills and knowledge they do have, doesn't mean that they really understand how cruel life can be,_ Roy admitted to himself

"So, does that mean that the bruises are really bad right now?" Chris asked. "And how did he even get bruises there? I mean, I didn't think you could."

"It's possible, although it takes a lot of trauma, or force, to do so. In this case, when the explosion occurred, he was tossed around quite a bit and his head was basically shaken hard. That with the land, well, let's just say it was enough to do the damage," swallowing rapidly, Roy tried to get the sounds he had heard out of his head. Knowing it would take a long time to fade in his mind, he tried concentrating on the here and now. "Anyway, the bruises are most likely what is causing Johnny to have issues with his memory and in some other areas.

"Doctor Early noticed when he had asked Johnny some basic questions, such as age and where he was, it took him a bit to answer. So, it seems as though he is thinking a bit slower than he should be. Hopefully, that will clear up with time. Uncle Johnny is also experiencing some muscle weakness, meaning he just doesn't have the strength he should. Again, we have to wait and see if this gets better.

"I think right now, what your mom and I are most worried about, besides Johnny not knowing us is the fact that his moods go up and down. He can be calm and fine, then he just gets scared and acts out. Although, he can't do much yet as he is just extremely tired."

"Well, daddy," Jenny interrupted impatiently. "How could he not be upset and frustrated and scared? He doesn't know anything! Where he is, what's going on, nothing! I bet he is in pain and feels like he's been left alone. How would you feel then?"

Knowing that she was right, Roy and Joanne looked at each other. Sometimes, it amazed them how perspective their youngest was.

"You're right, dad and I didn't really think of that," Joanne told her. "And he does remember that his parents died, so that couldn't have helped."

Roy ran his hand though his hair.

"We really messed up," he stated.

"No, we were just more worried about other things," Jo countered. "Don't give me that look Roy Christopher DeSoto. You can't remember or do everything yourself."

"I know, but…"

"But, nothing," Jo stated firmly.

"Alright. Now, kids. I know you said that you wanted Uncle Johnny to come home here again to recover after he gets out. Knowing he thinks he is younger than both of you, that he has mood swings, and will need both your dad's help, as well as mine, do you still want this? I want you to think about this, there is no right answer. It's okay if the idea of him coming here, not knowing when or if Johnny will get better, is too scary or too much to handle. If either one of you doesn't want him to come here, that's perfectly fine. But this has to be a family decision. Take some time and really think hard. Ask us questions if you need to, although what we told you is what we were told and honestly, we aren't sure of much more. But we will try our best," Roy informed the kids

After a bit, Chris asked, "how long would it take for Uncle Johnny to get better?"

"First of all, Doctor Early told us that recovery would depend on how long it took the bruises to heal. If it takes too long for the bruises to heal or the bruises are too deep, than Johnny may not ever be back to how he was before. Doctor Early can't say what issues Johnny might have as it would depend on where the bruise is on the brain since different parts of the brain affect different things," seeing the slightly confused looks, Roy tried to come up with a comparison.

"Think of a rubber ball that you play with or a basketball. If you drop it in a bunch of colors of paint, you will find yourself with a ball where some of it still looks like it normally does, but where you dropped it has paint. Now, say you let the paint dry before trying to clean up the ball. Most of the paint might come off, but some of it may stick to the ball. The ball will then never be the same as what it was before the drop, right? It's kinda like how a brain works. When something happens, you can repair the brain sometimes, just like you can wipe off the paint of the ball right away in hopes of fixing it so it goes back to how it was before. Sometimes it works, other times, it doesn’t. In other cases, you need to let the brain repair itself. The brain might be able to put itself back to how it was before, but in some cases, the damage is permanent. It just depends on where and how well it can be repaired. Does that help?" Joanne asked.

"So, the paint is like bruises and while the doctors try to fix some of it, now we gotta wait and see?” Jenny asked.

“Yes, that’s exactly right," Jo answered.

"But that still didn't answer my question," Chris said. "Or are you saying that Uncle Johnny may never be like he used to be?"

"As much as we hate it, that just might be the case," Roy confirmed grimly. "No one knows right now though and we won't know until the bruises are gone. Since all bruises heal differently, we also don't know how long it will take for all of the bruises to go away completely. Doctor Early is using a new machine, called a CAT Scan which takes better pictures of the brain than an x-ray. That'll help him keep track of how Uncle Johnny is doing, but, well, the only thing the doctors can really do is try to help him deal with everything as it is as well as help him out with his medical needs. He did need some stitches, plus his ankle, foot and a couple of ribs were broken as well, so they are trying to make sure he isn't in pain from those issues. Those will heal just like any other times he has gotten broken bones or stitches."

Chris smiled at that comment, while both Jo and Jenny giggled. With the number of times Johnny had gotten stitches, he could have knitted his own socks after getting the stitches pulled. As good as he was at being a rescue man and a paramedic, Johnny also was great at being accident prone.

"I still say Uncle Johnny should come home. He's family," Chris firmly stated.

"What about you Jenny?" Jo asked.

"It'd be odd if we _didn't_ have him here. He needs us, even if he doesn't know that or us," was her pronouncement.

Smiling, Roy was relieved. Despite the fact that he had told Doctor Early he was sure that this would be the final decision for his kids, he still wasn't completely sure in his mind. Looking at the clock on the fireplace mantle, he saw it was fast approaching 7:30 pm.

"I am proud of both of you for this decision. I told Dr. Early that you would likely want to and he isn't sure of our family's decision," seeing the almost mutinous pouts on both of his children's face, Roy held up his hand. "He did agree though that if we did agree to a few things, he would give it serious consideration. So, starting tomorrow, each of us has to go to see a therapist name Doctor Druthers. Dr. Early wants us each to go into this with our eyes open and with as much knowledge as possible, with I agree is a great idea."

Joanne took up from here, knowing despite his willingness to actually go to the sessions, he would not be the best one to prepare Chris or Jennifer.

"The sessions will be by yourselves so you can talk about any worries you have, or how you feel about things. This Doctor Druthers will have a bit of extra time set aside if you need it. These sessions will also help you to deal with what is happening and what it means by being willing to have Johnny at home with us. We'll have a family session after a few days and then have a session or so with Johnny included. I'll pick you two up after school and we'll go right after. Are you guys okay with this still? If not, you can say so. Neither your dad nor I would be upset or any less proud of you," Joanne reassured them.

Seeing them both shake their head no, Joanne smiled.

"Alright you two. One last thing and I know this will be hard, but from now until Johnny gets better, you need to practice calling him just Johnny. If it helps, your dad and I have to get used to him calling us Aunt Jo and Uncle Roy because he told us his parents would never allow him to call an adult just by their first name," seeing their looks and the laughter that threatened to break out, Joanne went on. "Now, I know its early, but since your dad's crew will be helping out as they can, they will be over in about twenty minutes, so I'd like you to get ready for bed."

"Can we at least read?" Jenny asked.

"Up until 8:30 pm. It's a school night," Jo reminded her.

"Thanks," Jennifer said with a smile, giving first her mom, then her dad a hug and a kiss, Jennifer bounced up the stairs into her room.

Chris hugged both of his parents as well, hanging on a bit longer than normal, before he too went to his room across from his sister.

Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. Opening the door, Roy wasn't surprised to see everyone from Station 51 'A' shift already there. He knew that it was never easy for anyone when one of them got hurt and this was the most serious injury any of them had ever incurred. While the five of them settled into the living room, Joanne went to make coffee. As soon as she brought it into the living room, she gave Roy a kiss and told him she would check up on the kids. Knowing how close the crew was, she correctly thought it'd be best that it would be done just among themselves.

When Jo had disappeared upstairs, Captain Stanley cleared his throat.

"So, how is John? I called the hospital for an update and they just say he's in stable condition."

"Yea," Chet agreed. "It's frustrating. I told the nurse or whoever I knew that, I just wanted to know if he was still a kid and she got huffy with me. Is he doing any better remembering us?"

"No," Roy let a deep sigh. "He still thinks he a kid and what's worse now, is that he remembers that his parents are gone. We won't know if it's permanent until the bruises heal and there is no way to know how long that will take."

"Is his aunt going to come up and help at all?" Cap asked.

Shaking his head no, Roy told him, "She said that she wouldn't know how to deal with it. I guess she is mad at Johnny for even becoming a firefighter and said something to the effect of, 'I told him he'd get hurt doing such a job. Recklessness and stupidity must run in the family.' When I asked her what she meant, she just something about how her brother drove off the road on his 13th wedding universe, killing him and his wife. I guess, she feels she tried to raise John better, but failed somehow and now wants nothing to do with him. That's why Jo and I are the powers of attorney for him, as well as next of kin.”

Amazed at the seemingly uncaring woman, Roy thought out loud, "I know Johnny mentioned they were never close after she found him but would never told me why. I am not even sure he knew.

"Either way, she's washed her hands of him. She cares enough that she would like to be kept updated, if possible, her words, not mine. Otherwise, it'll be up to me and Jo to decide what to do. We did talk to Jenny and Chris about bringing him here and of course, despite what I said about his memory and mood swings, they still want him here. Doctor Early isn't too sure about it, so he made, or will make, appointments for the four of us to see a Doctor Druthers separately for the next few days. Then, we will have family sessions without Johnny before ones with him."

"Well, pal, whatever you need, we will see what we can do to help. Other firefighters have heard what happened and are willing to step up as well. Just let us know. But, I think I speak for the four of us here, we don't want you and Jo to think you are Johnny's only family. He's been like a son to me and I want to do what I can to help. Plus, my wife Irene wants to help out, what with the girls gone to college or busy with high school all the time."

Mike, Chet and Marco all readily agreed.

"If you need a break and need someone to stay with Johnny, I'd be more than willing," Mike offered. "I've taken care of my older sister when my parents needed to get away."

"Whatcha mean, Mike?" Chet was curious, he had never known Mike to have an older sister. Younger, yes. By the looks on the other guys, none of them had known either.

"My sister has autism. It's not bad enough that she needed to be in an institution, but she still needs a lot of help. She has trouble with a lot of basic things. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, remember to food shop, things like that. I just never thought to mention it," Mike said.

"Thanks, Mike. We might just take you up on it. From what it seems like, at least until Johnny's brain heals, it'll be like having three kids around here. One of them with some problems, even though we aren't quite sure what yet," said Roy.

"Hey, what about me?" Chet felt offended. "I can help."

"Really," Marco raised his eyebrows at his friend. "By what? Teaching him pranks or pulling them on him?"

"I wouldn't do that!" Chet protested. "I'd…"

"Hold it," Cap ordered, knowing Chet all too well. "How about we talk about what we came here for? What can we do now, Roy?"

"As you know, my family and I need to see Dr. Druthers before Doctor Early even thinks of signing off on releasing Johnny to our care. He did say that if you wanted to help and learn how more about head injuries, you could come with us to New Dawn Adult Care Home. I guess there, we will be given more information and shown how we can help Johnny. I think Dr. Early might even set you up to see Doctor Druthers so that we know how best to deal with and take care of any issues that pop up."

"Sure, I think that is no problem," Cap said for everyone after looking at how his remaining crew was reacting. "Thanks for letting us barge in like this and for keeping us in the loop."

"No problem. Just glad you guys are here to help," Roy admitted as he stood with the guys and headed towards the front door.

"Just call us if you need anything," Marco said as he left.

"Any time," Chet added as he too exited the DeSoto's house.

"That goes for me too, pal. If you even just need the missus to whip something up, just give me or her a call. She'd be glad to and may just randomly drop by anyway with food," Cap warned before leaving.

Mike lingered a bit behind, unsure how best to let his crew mate and friend know what was on his mind. In the end, he decided to do something very uncharacteristic and just spilled out what he was thinking.

"My sister is 39 now. I can best describe her as a contradiction. Someone who struggles with the simplest tasks and finds joy in the small things like a young kid would. The next moment, she says something so profound, you wonder if she isn't older than her years. The moment after that though, you just have to hang on because something has upset her, or stressed her out, or disrupted her routine so she has a temper-tantrum like a two-year old. Despite all that, she is loving, caring and unfailingly honest. I love her despite the ups and downs, the frustrations and uncertainties.

"I know it has to be hard for you and your family to deal with everything. I know my situation is far from the same. But I hope that you can find some comfort from knowing that I will at least be able to understand fairly well. I think what you want to do is amazing and I fully support it. Let me know if I can do anything, even if you just need to talk. Day or night."

Stunned, at both the amount said and what was said, Roy just watched as Mike walked into the dark to his car. Closing the door, he realized how truly blessed he was. With that thought, he made his way upstairs to check on his kids one last time before turning in himself. It had been a long day and tomorrow wasn't going to be easier on him.


	12. Late at Night

"Johnny, settle down, its okay, shhhh," Nurse Fitz cooed. "I just need to…"

Sighing, she saw that any attempt at touching him was just upsetting him more. Five long hours had passed since the DeSoto's had left. It seemed with each passing hour, Johnny fought the medication designed to keep him calm and his blood pressure was also going up as well. She had even volunteered to work overtime because Johnny couldn't accept the change in nurses. When she had tried to introduce him to Nurse Northstrom, the nurse who would take over for her, he had become so scared, they had to call in Dr. Early. Now, it looked like she would have to call him again.

 _At least he's still on shift for a while,_ she thought with relief as she headed out of Johnny's cubicle. _That means I won't have to make a call to his house._

Within five minutes of the page going over the speakers, Dr. Early met up with Nurse Fitz. Knowing already what the page meant, he gave her a tired smile.

"Call down to x-ray and have a portable sent up," he ordered. "While you're doing that, I'd like to borrow one of your nurses."

"Yes, doctor. Cindy Northstrom is free, just look in the break room. And don't worry, her break is over in a couple of minutes, besides, we have a few extra people on tonight," Meggie told Dr. Early.

Nodding, Doctor Early went to enlist Cindy's help while Nurse Fitz made arrangements with x-rays. As she was finishing up, the two of them had returned.

"How long until x-ray arrives?" Dr. Early asked.

"They said it shouldn't be more than ten minutes, so usually that means about fifteen minutes," Nurse Fitz knew that it almost always took about five to ten minutes longer than predicted for x-ray to make it to the ICU ward.

Making notes on Johnny's chart, Dr. Early asked for 10 mg of diazepam. "I am hoping to just use 5 mg, but if need be, we will use all of it. What I need of you two is to be ready to hold him down and get the restraints on him if necessary."

Nodding their heads yes, both nurses readied themselves for the grim task ahead.

"Should someone call Roy?" Nurse Fitz asked while Cindy went to get the diazepam.

"Not yet, I'd like to see what the x-rays show. If they are the same, we'll just continue monitoring him. If need be, we will switch his maintenance sedation to something a bit stronger. I don't like the idea of his b.p. remaining at this level or the possibility of it going higher. Are you two ready?" he asked.

"Yes," both replied as they followed Dr. Early into Johnny's room.

Almost immediately upon entering, the three of them saw Johnny start to tense up and try to get up. The two nurses and doctor were prepared, as well as faster. It helped as well that any movement, especially sudden ones, sent Johnny's head spinning. His whole body reacted to his failed escape attempt. First, there was just a slight shudder before he started shaking. It felt as though his whole body was vibrating. Sinking back on the bed and hoping that the blackness just on the edge of his eyesight would swallow him, Johnny didn't even notice as the two nurses gently put the restraints on his arms and another around the unbroken leg. He didn't even see Dr. Early inject all 10 mg of the diazepam into his IV. Johnny did finally gain some of his senses back a minute later, although his head was still spinning and his body still not only felt like it was vibrating but also disconnected from him. Just before he gave into the sleep, he noticed that the three strangers were looking down at him with something akin to pity and fear.

 _Fear of what?_ Johnny wondered as he slipped into the blackness that to him represented warmth and safety.

"He's out," Nurse Northstrom announced quietly, so as not to disturb Johnny. To witness this once vibrant and seemingly fearless young man reduced to this was unsettling to the seasoned nurse. In her thirty years of nursing, she had seen a lot, but nothing quite like this. It didn't help knowing who her charge was either.

"His b.p. is now 190/110, pulse is 140 and respiration's are 25," Nurse Fitz reported. "It looks like his pulse is dropping a bit more as are his reps."

"I'll take what I can get," Dr. Early said. "Hopefully, it will drop more if he can sleep some more."

Noticing the technician coming in, Dr. Early asked, "I'd like a full skull series stat. I'll wait up here if you don't mind, delivering the results here."

"That's no problem," was the reply.

Leaving the tech to his work, Dr. Early and the nurses gathered around the ICU desk. Sitting back in a chair, he thanked both of the nurses for their helped.

"Speaking for both Meggie and I, we don't mind in the least. I just hope Johnny gets well soon," Nurse Northstrom stated. "Now, if you two will excuse me, I need to go check on some patients."

"She's right, Dr. Early. You know my brother is a fellow firefighter, just in another county, and I am just doing what I'd like any nurse would do for him."

"Still, he's special, not just to me," Dr. Early said quietly.

"I know, he's family around here."

Clearing their throats, Dr. Early and Nurse Fitz became silent and lost in their thoughts for some time before Dr. Early moved on to a new topic.

"I'd like to change his medication to diazepam, 5 mg every two hours and drop the dexmedetomidine to .03 mg/kg per hour IV," he informed her as he made notes on Johnny's chart. "If that doesn't help him sleep, just page me and I'll bump it up. I'll be sleeping here tonight."

Nodding her head yes, she noticed the x-ray technician had returned.

"Looks as though the x-rays are back," she told him.

"Thanks," he said to both of them.

Standing up, he headed to the consultation room to view the x-rays. There, he noticed that aside from the injuries already noticed, the swelling was a bit more pronounced than it had been that morning.

 _I wonder if this is due to the increase in blood pressure,_ he wondered. _It could be, or it could also be a sign that there is bleeding there, but we just can't see it yet. The blood pressure could be an indicator of bleeding, as well as the mood. However, considering that Johnny has been upset all day and his b.p. has been climbing as it has gotten worse, tends to indicate that the swelling is more likely due to the blood pressure issue than a bleed. His blood pressure **did** reduce after the diazepam. _

Deciding what to do, Dr. Early headed back and sought out Nurse Fitz, who had just finished another vitals check on Johnny.

"What is his blood pressure now?" he asked.

"180/110," Meggie smiled as she delivered the news. Yes, the numbers were slowly going down, but at least they were going down. That in itself was a minor victory.

Mirroring her smile, Dr. Early felt that the numbers reinforced his decision.

"That's great," he said. "I did see some additional swelling, but I do think it is because of his blood pressure. Hopefully, it will continue to go down and the swelling will as well. I would like an x-ray repeated at five this morning. When that's done, just have someone page me and I'll review it to see if things are going well. Page me, however if the blood pressure goes up or anything doesn't go well. I'm not going to call Roy unless I have to as I know he hasn't been sleeping well and I'd hate to disturb him."

"I will," Meggie promised.

With that, Dr. Early went to catch some sleep in one of the on-call rooms while Nurse Fitz settled into her station. Since she was pulling volunteer over-time until Roy could be with Johnny, her supervisor told her that unless there was a dire emergency, that her only responsibility was Johnny. That may make her night seem longer as she had no other patients to check on, but then again, as she knew first hand and had just seen, Johnny also liked to keep the medical staff on their toes.


	13. A Talk from the ER Boss

When Roy received the call from Dr. Brackett at 7:00 am asking him to come to his office upon arriving at Rampart, his heart leapt into his throat. Things were going well after the surgery, despite the regression that Roy had managed to ignore the cautions from the doctors that Johnny was not completely out of the woods yet. So, with that one phone call and a quick explanation to Joanne, instead of eating breakfast with the family before heading to the hospital as planned, by 7:10, Roy was on the road already. By 7:30, he was pacing the length of Dr. Brackett's office, waiting for him to finish with an emergency patient.

"Sorry for the wait, Roy. Why don't you have a seat," Dr. Brackett suggested as he entered after a nerve wrecking ten minute wait.

Complying, Roy sat on a chair across from the desk, bracing himself for bad news. As Dr. Brackett took the chair besides him, all Roy thought about was, _did something else pop-up that they didn't see? Did John develop some sort of an infection? Did he slip into a coma? Did things worsen to the point that more brain damage was caused and this time, it was permanent?_

It seemed as though his thoughts were punishing him for ignoring the fact that despite Johnny overcoming many difficulties and challenges already, Roy had blatantly ignored the fact Johnny was far from being out of danger. With the guilty and ghastly thoughts running rampant, Roy was grateful when Dr. Brackett finally finished organizing his thoughts and began speaking.

"After the two of you left last night, Johnny became more agitated as time went on and fought the medication we gave him. Eventually, it grew to the point where, despite increasing the medication, Johnny refused to allow himself to relax enough to sleep and it got to the point where he was very uncooperative with Nurse Fitz. What was worse, we believe his mood, as well as his state of mind, was effected his blood pressure, causing it to increase. I know you hate the idea of this, but around midnight, Johnny had to be restrained so that the nurses and Dr. Early could give him a sedative. It also allowed the x-rays Doctor Early had ordered to be taken. The skull series showed that the swelling had increased again, which was likely not helping John's mood or ability to cope.

"You know, as well as I and Doctor Early that that is not a good thing, so Dr. Early added 10 mg of diazepam every hour while dropping the dexmedetomidine a bit. It was not the ideal situation to reduce the dexmedetomidine then as we had hoped to wait until noon today," seeing the anger brewing on Roy's face for what he likely saw as a scenario where he should have been consulted, Dr. Brackett held up his hand. "Let me explain. Dr. Early knew that if John's blood pressure continued to rise, he could possibly have had a stroke, seizure, or more bleeding could have occurred. Also, Johnny ran the risk of brain herniation or permanent brain damage just from the pressure alone. By adding the diazepam, it means that Johnny can rest and not worry, which has brought his blood pressure down significantly.

"The reason for that Doctor Early reduced the dexmedetomidine twelve hours earlier than we had previously discussed is because that medication can interfere with the effectiveness of diazepam. Considering that the repeat x-ray at 5 am shows that the swelling, which had increased, is now back to where it was before the blood pressure issues, I have to agree with Dr. Early's decision. I am sure you think you should have been called and you would have, if things had not resolved as soon as they did or more complications had arisen. It was more important that you got rest as I am sure you haven't been sleeping too well."

Running his hands though his hair that he swore was even thinner than two weeks ago, Roy sighed heavily.

"You're right doc, and I trust you two, it's just that, well," stumbling over his thoughts, Roy couldn't figure out how to explain how he felt.

"I know," Dr. Brackett said softly. "Quite honestly, I had to force Dr. Early to go home after the last x-rays. Dixie hasn't been sleeping well and I think if it wasn't for the fact for her job, she would be lost. Half the time she spends her breaks just sitting doing nothing and the other half she spends trying to find out what she can to help Johnny."

"Yeah, I talked to Dix while I was waiting. She checks in on him whenever possible, but like she says, it's not the same when you have to be careful that the person you care about can't know you are there."

"Like you and Johnny, Dixie and he had, have, some sort of special connection," Dr. Brackett had to remind himself to speak in present terms. Just because Johnny didn't remember them at this moment, it didn't mean that they had to forget about him or the friendship they had.

"What about you, how are you doing?" Roy asked tentatively, unsure if he was overstepping his boundaries. However, the dark circles were a lot more pronounced than he had ever seen them on Dr. Brackett.

"This is scaring the heck out of me to be truthful. Right now, I am the doctor who is in charge of Johnny's case until tonight until the other neuro guy, Doc Swarl, comes in. Whenever John is awake and I am even in the same room, he gets this terrified look. I have no idea why, and although I am curious, I'm not sure if I want to know."

What Dr. Brackett didn't mention was that both he and Dixie were afraid that due to him being raised on a reservation until he was almost a teenager, some male figure misused his position after Johnny lost his parents. They were both worried that he suffered from some sort of abuse or trauma cause by someone in authority. Based on what they knew from his medical records and just knowing him through the years, they could reasonably deduce it didn't go to the point where physical evidence was left over. However, that still left verbal abuse and physical abuse was still a possibility.

Considering both of them were stressed beyond their normal limits, Dix and Kel both admitted to each other that they honestly didn't know how the DeSoto's were handling things as well as they were. Both of them were struggling to function normally and carrying on as they needed to in the emergency room. They were so much alike in the fact the frustration over not being to do much of anything meant that the two of them had to force themselves to eat and sleep at times.

Kel Brackett just wondered how Dixie managed to hide that at times while working, she would need to hide away in his office, just to escape. He knew without the solitude of this office that allowed her to grieve and just take a breather, she may have well broken down in front of others. Dixie felt as though she needed to be strong for everyone and thus, no one but him saw the tears, anger, worries, or frustration.

 _Then again,_ he reflected. _Dix is the only one I have really allowed myself to vent my worries and frustrations to as well. I don't know how she does her job like these days are like any other days. Even I know I am more impatient than usual and have a problem with my temper around the staff. Thankfully, they are more than understanding. Even Mike Morton has been helping out more here in the Emergency department isn't so unusual, but I never would have thought he'd willingly offer his help with Johnny's case considering how the two of them have gotten along before._

Giving himself a mental shake, Dr. Brackett returned to a topic he would rather avoid. Besides, there was a rare look of impatience on Roy's face and he really didn't want to push Roy. If he, as only a good friend of John's on the job was having such a difficult time coping with the realities of the head injuries, Roy must be going through sheer hell.

"Who knows what happened between the time his parents died and his aunt brought him to California? Maybe someday, Johnny will tell us."

Moving on quickly, Dr. Brackett said, "Anyway, the other two subjects I wanted to discuss is that Dr. Druthers says you can go see him for your appointment between 9:30 and 11 am. After that, you can choose either a set time for the next day or have a general time in the morning you would like to see him. He said to have Joanne come on up any time after you're appointment and the kids can come see him right after school. While waiting for their sessions, I cleared it so they can go to the peds playroom."

"Why is he so flexible about the time?" Roy questioned suspiciously.

"Dr. Druthers was actually set to go on a working sabbatical for about four to five months in a week so they took this week off. Since this was an opportunity of his choosing, he was able to postpone for another time. Dr. Early and I were putting out feelers for who might be able to help since we had assumed he'd be unable to, but thankfully, after hearing about this situation, he was more than willing to help. In the past, Dr. Druthers has worked with Dr. Bates, a psychologist who specializes in traumatic brain injuries. Druthers told me that in between, he can do research that will help your family, prepare handouts, notes and a rough schedule to help your family and crew, as well as start to figure out where everyone can visit New Horizons. Once he learns more about what the specific needs are, he will be able to modify and ensure that the notes and schedule will work out for everyone. You will be in great hands.

"I guess at least we have that one thing on our side," Roy sarcastically observed.

"The other topic is the fact that since we have Johnny on the diazepam and it is working well so far, we would like to continue to do so for the next two days, perhaps even three days. As you know, at least it won't require him to be intubated and both Doctor Early and I feel this might be the best way to help him heal. It will give the swelling a way to hopefully diminish faster as well as help his body heal from the cuts and burns. The only downside would be that it may push back his therapy, both with the physical and Dr. Druthers, but it wouldn't be much of a setback."

"Sure doc, that sounds fine. We can still visit though, right?"

"Of course. Whenever you'd like. He may benefit from it, as even with all the medications, Johnny is still fidgeting."

"Typical," Roy smiled a small, worn out smile. "Just give me whatever paperwork you need me to sign and then if you don't mind, I think I am going to visit with Johnny for a bit before heading to see Doctor Druthers."

"Sounds good," Dr. Brackett patted him on the back as he got up to get the needed paperwork. "Take your time. When you're ready, you can find Druthers on the 8th floor, room 816."

Signing the forms out, Roy nodded and thanked him again before opening the office door to leave. Once outside the office, he headed to the nearest men's room. Sitting down inside a stall, he tilted his head back and for the first time since this whole incident began, tried to swallow down bitter tears that were forming. He just honestly didn't know what he would do without Johnny in his life and it had finally started to sink in how close he had come to losing John, not to mention, there was still too many things that could go wrong. Deciding that sitting around feeling miserable wasn't going to help, Roy got up, washed his face and headed out, once again determined to keep fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brain herniation puts extreme pressure on parts of the brain and thereby cuts off the blood supply to various parts of the brain. It is often fatal.
> 
> Symptoms:  
> Cardiac arrest (no pulse)  
> Coma  
> Headache  
> Lethargy  
> Loss of all brainstem reflexes (blinking, gagging, pupils reacting to light)  
> Loss of consciousness  
> Respiratory arrest (no breathing)  
> Wide (dilated) pupils and no movement in one or both eyes


	14. Roy's Therapy Session: Day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all those reading and please review! It helps keep me wanting to write!

After spending a half-hour by Johnny's side, Roy reluctantly made his way to the 8th floor to meet with Dr. Druthers. Taking the stairs to avoid in an effort to avoid anyone, Roy examined his reluctance at the idea of going to see a therapist.

 _I've seen a therapist before, granted it was the department therapist and was mandatory due to a call or work related situation. I never had an issue with that before,_ _so why is today so different?_ Roy pondered the situation and slowly realized the difference. _It's because this time, I feel as though my job isn't resting on the evaluation of one or two sessions, but rather my family as we define it is depending on these sessions. Doctor Early made it clear that unless this therapist made him feel as though we could handle dealing with Johnny and possible difficulties, he wouldn't release Johnny into our care. Considering how much of a part of our family Johnny is, I can't even imagine what it would be like **NOT** to have him included in our daily lives anymore. _

Abruptly cut off from his introspection by almost running into a tall, black hair, deeply tanned man in his forties in Dr. Druthers waiting room, Roy let out a gasp of surprise. Assuming correctly that this gentleman was the doctor he was sent to see, Roy tried to recover.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting you to umm, well, to…" fumbling, Roy trailed off, embarrassed by his lack of awareness.

 _This is surely a horrible way of meeting someone who will be judging my every move and thought,_ Roy criticized himself.

"Don't worry about it," Dr. Druthers pleasantly said as he smiled. "If it helps, I was startled as well. I was just on my way to see if some copies I wanted were ready, but I can always do that later. Why don't you come in?"

Stepping into the door that was held open, Roy glanced around the office quickly. The square room was simply done in a muted cream color, with a big window facing the ER parking lot. On the left hand wall there were bookcases filled with various textbooks related to psychology. The door just managed to open without hitting any of them. In the right hand corner was a small table and two chairs designed for children. There was also an open toy box next to the table and Roy could see that it was filled with various toys. The furniture wasn't at all what he was expecting either. Although there was a desk, it was much smaller than expected and was located in the right corner at a diagonal.

 _It almost seems as though someone said the doctor needed a desk and so he chose the simplest as well as the smallest one possible,_ Roy thought in amazement. This seemed unusually to him as in his experience, doctors tended to have large desks where they could hide behind when needed.

Instead, what appeared to be the office chair was pulled to the side of the desk, as if the doctor wasn't used to sitting behind it. The chair faced a sofa in the middle of the room; there was also another sofa in the middle of the large window. An arm chair, like one might find at home, was on the right-hand wall, giving the room a cozy, but somewhat overcrowded look. Nothing really quite matched, yet nothing clashed in such a way that you would think someone just dumped whatever was available in this room.

"Feel free to sit where ever you'd like," Dr. Druthers told him when he saw Roy was done assessing the room.

Choosing the sofa in the middle of the room, Roy waited as the doctor settled himself on the armchair across from him.

"First of all, feel free to call me Dr. Druthers, Dr. D. or even Karl. Is it okay to call you Roy?" seeing Roy give his consent, Karl Druthers went on. "I believe you have been in therapy before, in regards to your job, is that correct?"

"Yes, a few times when the department decided to make it mandatory," Roy admitted.

"Whew, makes my job a bit easier, so we'll just deal with all the legal mumble jumble quickly and move on," Dr. Druthers joked, waving his hand carelessly. "I just need to remind you that whatever you say in here remains in here, unless I feel you are a danger to yourself or to others. I am not allowed to break that confidently without a court's petition and even then, I will censor the information that is given to what is being asked. Rarely have these cases come up, but in those times, I usually give the court less than what they would like unless it would serve some better purpose as I feel that doctor/patient confidently shouldn't have so many loopholes. In the case here, things are going to be a bit looser, as Doctor Early does want to make sure you and your family are prepared for what may or may not happen.

"What this means is that I will tell him some of the topics we cover during our sessions, although I will not say whether they were individual or part of the group session whenever possible. I will try not to give specifics on what we talked about and just give him my recommendation that based on those topics covered, I feel you are, or are not, ready to handle Johnny living in your home. I may also recommend continued counseling or other things before he is released to your care. If he is released into your care, I may also recommend other things as well. If I do make recommendations, I highly suggest you follow them in order to ensure that your family has the best chance at succeeding and doing well. At any time, if there is something that you would like to keep between us however, please, speak up and tell me. I will do my best to avoid discussing that with anyone.

"These same guidelines will apply for your entire family. I know this may be difficult, but I will not discuss Christopher's or Jennifer's sessions with you or your wife. They need a safe place where they can discuss how they feel, what they are thinking, their own worries and concerns," the doctor cautioned. "The only exception would be is if I feel that there is something you need to know, but I will likely wait to bring that up in the family sessions and will let them know ahead of time what I plan on doing.

"My goals here are as follows: first, I want to make sure you and your family what can possibly take place because of a traumatic brain injury, what the short term and long term effects may be due to this injury, not just for Johnny, but for each member of your family. Second of all, I want to help you all think through all the options, even what you may consider unpleasant options, for Johnny and your family so that you are aware of them. Third, I want to help you to accept the situation as it is, deal with the long-term possibilities and the effect it can have on your family. Next, if I feel that your family can handle the emotional burden, I want to help you come together as a family to devise a plan and schedule to deal with Johnny's medical needs, while taking into account that you need to take care of yourselves as well. There may be other goals, ideas or whatnot that I add onto this list, but for right now, this is where I feel we should begin.

"I know this is a lot of information to handle," Dr. Druthers apologized. "But, I figure that since I want you to be up front and honest with me, I should be up front and honest with you as well. If it helps at all, it doesn't look as daunting as that paper I just gave you. We have as much time as you are willing to put in."

Looking over the sheet of paper with the goals, Roy dipped his head down before raising his head to glimpse at the doctor. Seeing only compassion, honesty, and willingness, he felt better about the situation.

"Now, I have just a couple questions, and please, don't feel offended, but I thought it best to get these out of the way," Dr. Druthers said. "I would like to know if this is something you still would like to do and put your time into. I also would like to know why you are doing this considering you are under no obligation to do anything like this for Johnny."

A flash of anger came over Roy's face.

"He may not be family in the sense of the fact he is related by blood, but he _is_ family," Roy bit out. "I know I may not have any legal obligation, but I _do_ have a moral one. I can't imagine just leaving him alone in some place where he may or may not get better. He needs to be with his family. He needs to be with people who love him, people who care about him. It's not just me who feels this way. It's my whole family who has adopted him… I mean, how could I do any less for him?"

Smiling, Dr. Druthers reassured him, "I am glad you feel that way. That is the type of people Johnny needs on his side right now."

"Thanks."

"So, what do you think is the hardest thing for you to deal with at this moment?" Karl asked.

Pausing to think, Roy wasn't sure what to say.

"There is a lot actually. I can't imagine how he feels thinking he just lost his parents. Then, I feel like my best friend is gone… I mean, he's right there, but he's not," Roy paused again, clearing his throat at a sudden rush of emotions. "I feel so guilty that I couldn't get to him faster. Or notice something was wrong at Jenny's birthday party. Maybe if I had, things wouldn't be so bad now. I want to help, but I just don't know how."

"Let's just take this one thing at a time, alright? You feel guilty because you didn't notice him feeling ill. I heard what symptoms Johnny had that day, so besides a head injury, could something else have been going on?"

Admitting that, yes, other things could have been going on, from not sleeping well to the start of the flu, Roy added, "I know that in my head, it's just that I wish I could change things."

"Unfortunately, we can't change the past," Doctor Druthers said sympathetically. "You didn't know what happened and it sounds as though Johnny wasn't aware either. As far as him getting hurt in the explosion, he was doing his job, correct?"

"Yes," Roy admitted reluctantly.

"Do you believe that he could or should have done anything differently?"

"No! John worked as fast as he could, it's just that time was against us, what with the fire moving so quickly. If it hadn't been for the gas cans being stored, things probably would have been fine. Danger is just a part of the job."

"Again, you yourself have pointed out that it seems there were no other options than for what happened to have happened," Dr. Druthers calmly drew attention to the facts. "I am sure it is difficult to accept it, so I'd like you to work on is trying to accept it."

Seeing the nod of agreement, he went on.

"Now, unfortunately, feeling like you lost your best friend..." sighing, Dr. Druthers paused, hating to say what he knew he should say and leaned forward. "Right now, you need to remember that in a sense, you have lost your friend. Who he _was_ is not who he is right now and as hard as it may be to hear, Johnny may never be who he was. Allow yourself to grieve for who he was and hope that someday, you can find him again, but prepare yourself for a future where things remain as they are. You need to focus on being who Johnny needs, which is an authority figure who can direct him and help him navigate life. Someone who can help him deal with the loss of his parents. By trying to learn to accept this, as difficult as it may be, it will help. I am not saying give up hope, but it will take months at the very least for Johnny to recover and even then, Dr. Early has told me that he doesn't know for sure whether he will recover fully or not."

Reeling back, Roy sank into the sofa feeling as if he had been physically punched. He had been holding onto the idea that any time now, Johnny, or at least the Johnny he had known, would be back. Being told to let that idea go made him feel physically ill.

 _I guess it does make sense. By mourning for who he was, maybe it will be easier to accept things. And at least there will be reminders of him, no matter what. How do I begin to act as though he is gone when he is still here?_ Roy was lost in his thoughts and didn't realize that his eyes had begun to water.

"Roy," Doctor Druthers softly asked, touching him on the hand. Seeing that Roy had been startled out of his contemplations, he quickly apologized.

"I know that asking that of you is going to be hard, but I think for you, considering how close you two are and how much you have relied on Johnny throughout the years, it may be the best way to come to terms with the situation. If you can find a way to accept things without doing so however, more power to you. It would help if you have someone else at work that you could talk to, that might understand what you're going through and someone who has been there for you in the past during times when Johnny's been off of work."

"Mike…" Roy softly stated. "He offered to listen anytime, well, so did everyone, but he has an autistic sister so he might understand better than others. Otherwise, I usually talk to whoever I guess. It all depends on the situation and such."

"That's good, try to learn how to reach out to Mike when you miss talking to Johnny since he seems willing," Dr. Druthers encouraged.

"I will," Roy promised, but his heart still ached at the thought of being unable to talk to Johnny about the random, trivial everyday things as they had in the past temporary.

 _Just please God, just please let this be temporary,_ Roy pleaded.

"Are you okay?" Karl asked compassionately.

"I think so. It's just hard to accept."

"Why don't you tell me about what roles Johnny has played in your life before this accident?" Doctor Druthers inquired.

Smiling softly, Roy went on to tell him how he had met Johnny almost ten years ago when he was recruiting for the paramedic program. He wasn't sure that Johnny would actually sign up, but he was so thankful he did. All the questions he had and information he had looked up beforehand made it clear to Roy that Johnny wanted to do more than simply rescue people from whatever situation they found themselves in before rushing them off to the hospital. Like Roy, John had a drive to help more. With his natural curiosity, he got top marks in the paramedic program. That, along with how well they had hit it off during training convinced Roy to ask Johnny to become his partner.

"It was one of the better decisions I made, doc," Roy proudly claimed. "We just clicked and found a good rhythm fairly quickly that allowed us to become one of the better team of paramedics."

"When did you introduce him to your family?" prodded Doctor Druthers. He was hoping to find out more about the bonds between not only Roy and Johnny, but also between the DeSoto family and Johnny as well from Roy's perspective.

"It was just after he had graduated from training, I was just retaking the course. I had already gone through it at a different hospital," Roy explained, seeing the confusion on Karl's face. "John had been invited before, but he kept putting it off until then. I said since he was going to be partnered up with me he should meet my family. He was still unsure, but he came home with me. I know Joanne wasn't too sure about him at first. Something about him being too young and she was sort of right, he was only 21, but he had almost two years of rescue under him.

"It took him a while to warm up to Jo because of her attitude but she eventually got over it. Not sure how to this day," Roy scratched his left ear with a puzzled look on his face. "I think the only reason he kept coming over, despite the fact of how Jo acted was because of the kids. He fell in love with Jenny as soon as I put her in his arms even though he was scared out of his mind at the thought at first."

Laughing, Roy could clearly recall the terror pasted on Johnny's face as Roy went to place three month old Jennifer in his arms. Despite his protests of never holding a baby and saying that he was terrified of hurting her, he seemed to be a natural at it. This look of awe just came over Johnny's face when Jenny looked at him. To top it off, when Chris saw that his sister wasn't afraid of him, he crawled up on the couch next to him and curled up next to him as well.

"Sounds as though it was rough at first," Karl sympathized as he settled back in his chair a bit.

"It was, but I think Jo learned after a few months that despite his seemingly youthful innocence and carefree attitude, on the job, he was dedicated and serious. As she learned more about him, she just seemed to accept him more and more. I think he finally became family after the monkey virus though."

Extremely curious as he had never heard of any such thing, Doctor Druthers had to repeat, "Monkey virus?"

Nodding yes, Roy explained how playing with a simple monkey resulted in five people coming down with a virus transmitted through a virus from overseas-the person who brought the animal over, Dr. Brackett, Johnny, and a fireman who ended up dying before a cure was found. Thankfully, the fifth person who had had the virus didn't become too ill and their blood was used for a cure. However, Johnny was still fairly weak afterwards and needed help for a while. Since he had no family in the area, Jo and he offered to take him to their house to recover for a week or two. The two weeks turned into three weeks, as his kids just didn't want him to go home. Neither did Joanne, as she was worried that being by himself in his apartment, he might overdo things, not take care of himself properly or eat well either.

Hearing that, Karl had to laugh. "Sounds like your wife took over things."

"Yea, she did, and boy, did Johnny protest at first," Roy told him with a smile. "I just let him know that it was of no use though. Once she gets an idea in her head, its best to stand back and follow orders when needed. Honestly, I was just glad they were getting along better and I think they were finally able to work out whatever issues they had between them. She protects him like a big sister."

"And you're the big brother?" Dr. Druthers confirmed.

"Chris and Jenny have grown up thinking he was their uncle. It took them years to realize we weren't related by blood, but it just means that he needs extra love and 't.l.c.', according to them. He does have an aunt, but let's just say that Ms. Gage only cares enough that she wants to know he is alive yet it seems and has more or less washed her hands of anything else."

"Unfortunately, it seems some people are like that. And according to my notes, it says that," Doctor Druthers looked down at his notes to make sure he got the information right. "Johnny lost his parents at age seven, yet his aunt didn't take him to California until he was about twelve years old. Do you know where he was or what took place during that time?"

"No, and she wouldn't inform me," Roy said in disgust. "Claimed it wasn't any of my business. Yet, she says also that it is my business to sign medical and legal documents until Johnny is able to as I am listed as next of kin and I am also his medical power of attorney. I am not sure how she figures that one out. She would like me to help him, yet she refuses to give me any information that may help Johnny."

"That does sound frustrating," Karl agreed. "We can't dictate others actions, only our reactions to them. I will write a note about this, and perhaps we can find out where Johnny specifically thinks he is supposed to be at, such as a foster home or children's home."

Although he was still frustrated over having to possibly upset Johnny, Roy felt better that at least someone might know how to bring up such a topic.

With those issues covered, Dr. Druthers and Roy spent some of the remaining time discussing how Roy might feel about being a parental type figure to John. Most of the time was spent in laughter as Roy shared the numerous times he spent having to look after John already. Trouble always seemed to find Johnny, and without someone looking after him, Roy wasn't sure how Johnny would muddle through some days.

"Although, despite the fact I have to make sure he behaves so he doesn't get in trouble at work," Roy confessed. "Joanne is the one who is really more of a parent to him. Whenever he is laid up due to an injury or an illness, she forces him to stay at our house until he is able to manage on his own. She also makes him eat with us at least once a week to get a home cooked meal in him. Johnny somehow has even gotten her to help him out when he needs a button sewn on or clothes repaired. I'm still trying to figure out how he got her to help him out with those since our kids have learned how to repair buttons. By now, I just know better than to ask when he comes over with clothes to be repaired. We usually end up with free babysitting and movie tickets anyway, so I guess I can't complain.

"The kids grew up with him always being there for them. Whether as another playmate, a babysitter whenever Joanne and I wanted or needed to go out, or just another adult they trusted. As much as the other members of the stations are also their 'uncles', the three of them just seem to have more of a bond. Jenny can only get Johnny to play dolls or tea party with her. They even seem to have preferred at times having him read their bedtime stories rather than Jo or I since he is better at voices than us."

Dr. Druthers started laughing, amused by the dynamics between the family members. Steering the conversation in a new direction, he asked Roy a difficult direction.

"It sounds like John has been an essential part of your kid's lives and has helped guide them through the years. How do you think this injury will affect them?"

"Uhh, honestly, I don't know," Roy admitted softly, rubbing his hands on his legs. "Jo and I are worried about it. I talked about it with Cap a bit and well, I don't know if this is the right way to deal with it, but I am hoping that one of the other guys I work with will help out. I know that there are just some cases where being around mom or dad is not wanted and especially with Chris nearing his twelfth birthday, he has talked to Johnny about things bothering him before coming to us about them. I relay, or should say, have relied, on Johnny's guidance. With Jennifer, she tends to place Johnny into more of a friend role still, so I am not quite as worried as I know she has quite a few good friends.

"Jo was the one who pointed out we will end up having to figure out a lot of different things, considering how much we have come to depend on Johnny. I mean, yeah, the guys will help out when they can, as will their families, but neither one of us wants Jenny or Chris to feel as if we are abandoning them. On the other hand, we want to make sure that Johnny has a safe, loving place to heal in."

"I'm glad you two realize those things, and I will do my best to teach you ways of dealing with this situation," Karl promised. "Do you have any other fears, worries, or anything?"

"I guess, well," clearly a bit uncomfortable, Roy paused. "I wish I knew how to prepare for questions he might have or things like that. Do I tell him right now that we know where his aunt is, but she doesn't want him? Or what? And how do we reassure him that it is okay to trust me and my family? Stuff like that I guess."

Nodding, Doctors Druthers, took the questions one at a time.

"I would assume John would likely ask why he will eventually come home with you, if that is the best decision for him. If so, considering his aunt is elderly and has no wish to deal with this, I would say that she is simply not well enough to take care of him and thinks that perhaps your family would be the best place for him. As far as him learning to trust you, not to mention trust others and learn how to cope with this situation, I'm afraid that it will take time."

"That is one thing Johnny is not good with. I am not sure he ever was," Roy conceited with an impish grin.

Deciding to end the session on a good note, the doctor told Roy that tomorrow they would talk some more like they did today and start figuring out how best to deal with some issues that were addressed today.

"Feel free to come on up and talk to me today if you feel the need. Otherwise, just send up Joanne when she gets her and you can send the kids up here after school. While one of them is in session, the other can either wait in the outer office or go on down to the peds floor. Dixie cleared it so that it would be fine for them to be in the playroom. I will be here for about an hour after your two kids leave tonight and will be back tomorrow around 8:30 a.m. so come on up any time after that, alright?"

"I will, thanks," Roy said gratefully. The session wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be and although there were some hard facts to face, at least now, he had a starting place. That alone boosted his spirits, even if it was a small amount.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, psychologist and psychiatrist really do have to address all those legal type issues, although I didn't use the exact wording or phrasing. I also didn't have Roy sign a form indicating he had received the information and understood it, as would be required by law today as I could not find information if any of this was used back than.  
> A psychiatrist is someone who may do therapy and has a medical degree that allows them to prescribe medication while a psychologist is a therapist and counseling.


	15. Joanne's Therapy Session: Day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, things will pick up soon! Thanks for reading.

After leaving Dr. Druthers' office, Roy headed down to the cafeteria to grab a quick snack. Being that it was only around 9 a.m. and that he and Jo wouldn't be getting lunch until noon, Roy knew that he needed a small meal to tide himself over. Quickly consuming the toasted egg sandwich and orange juice, Roy made his way back up to the ICU, eager to be back by Johnny's side. Despite the tranquilizing effects of diazepam, Johnny still seemed as though he was a bit anxious and couldn't completely relax in sleep.

 _I have no idea how he is still vaguely aware of what is going on considering the dosage should knock anyone out. The doctors aren't sure either, all they know is that John is sleeping deep enough that his blood pressure has come down quite a bit and that is helping him heal better. Strange too that the nurses also find that his blood pressure lowers a bit more when I am here,_ Roy contemplated and mentally shrugged. _At least I am able to do something, even if it is just sitting here and reassuring him every once in a while that everything is okay._

"How is he doing?" Joanne asked softly as she came in the room.

"Better than last night I'm told," Roy reassured her before explaining the anxiety Johnny had experienced and the increased swelling that took place. "That's why the docs are going to keep him on a sedative for a few days. It'll help him sleep and in turn, should help the swelling heal better."

"Still a bit restless though, huh?" she observed, seeing Johnny attempt to move some.

Quieting Johnny down before answering, Roy said self-consciously, "Yea, but it seems to help that I am here."

Giving her husband a look that said he would be an idiot to think otherwise, Jo moved on.

"Do you think Doctor Druthers is in his office yet?"

"Should be, let me call him real quick," Roy answered as he used the phone to do so. "He said to come on up any time you're ready."

Tucking the blankets under Johnny's chin more securely while being careful of the IV's, Joanne gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. While Joanne informed the nurse that her husband would be back shortly, Roy stood up and promised Johnny that he would be back after showing Jo to the office. With those issues taken care of, Roy guided Joanne up to Dr. Druthers office. Upon arriving, he knocked on the inner office to let the doctor know they had arrived.

"Hi, doc, this is my wife, Joanne," Roy said, introducing her to him, knowing that Jo was a bit nervous about the meeting. "Jo, this is Dr. Druthers.

Getting up to shake her hand, he offered, "You can call me doc, Dr. Druthers or Karl, whatever you feel most comfortable with."

"Thanks," Joanne replied.

Giving her hand a quick squeeze, Roy promised that if she needed anything to just call down to Johnny's room.

"Otherwise, I'll see you after the appointment," he told her.

Nodding, Joanne let go and watched as he left the office. Realizing she was alone and didn't have a clue how to begin, Jo smiled weakly at Doctor Druthers.

"Why don't you have a seat anywhere you'd like," Karl proposed, attempting to ease her nerves.

"Thank you," Jo politely said before sitting on the couch by the window. Smoothing down her skirt, she glanced around the room, surprised at how well decorated it was.

There is no way he could have put this office together like this, Joanne thought with amusement. As much as guys try, it seems they just don't have the ability to pull things together.

Less intimated with this realization, she felt herself relax and worry less about topics that would be discussed as the room gave her the feeling that Dr. Druthers wanted his patients to be in a warm, caring environment as well as feel safe and comfortable.

"I take it you haven't been in therapy before?" Doctor Druthers asked, pulling Joanne from her thoughts.

"No," Jo laughed awkwardly. "Is it that obvious?"

Smiling at her, Doctor Druthers moved his office chair so it was facing the couch more.

"A bit, but don't worry. I will make this as painless as possible, okay? Also, just for the record, I am fairly informal here, so call me Karl, Dr. D, or if you feel the need, Dr. Druthers," he said. Seeing her nod, he went on, "I do need to go over a few things before we get started and feel free to ask any questions about anything I go over. You can interrupt at any time."

With that said, the doctor started going over the same legal information he had gone over with her husband just a couple of hours before, only a bit more involved. Dr. Druthers also went over what he felt the main goals were at that time. Joanne had no issues with all the information and after he was done explaining, she felt a lot more comfortable with how things would progress.

Plans are always a good thing, even if they are merely outlines of a plan, Jo reflected.

"Tell me about the first time you meet Johnny," Karl implored.

"Oh, boy, it wasn't exactly good," Joanne snorted and rolled her eyes. "I know he is only three years younger than Roy and I, but Roy has always seemed older than his age. The first time I met him, he seemed so uncertain about everything. Yes, he was polite, almost too polite I thought. I don't know why I thought he was too polite or how it was possible to be too polite. It just seemed to cover up something. As soon as I would leave the room, he'd loosen up some. It was as if without me around, Johnny had a tendency to be, well, I don't know… more himself, maybe and at that time, it seemed like he had too much of a carefree and reckless attitude. He'd also just tended to ramble and never discuss things of importance. Being single didn't help in my eyes I guess. I didn't think he'd be good around kids, but he proved me wrong."

Smiling at the memory of him meeting her kids that first time Johnny came over, Joanne was startled when Doctor Druthers asked her what changed her mind about him.

"It was the little things. First, it was him holding my daughter and interacting with Chris when he first came over. How Johnny acted around them made me a bit more willing to give him a chance. Soon after, even before the paramedic bill passed, I heard about him saving Roy and getting injured in the process. Thankfully, the injury was minor. Then, I don't know, over time, he started coming over more and more. He showed me who he really was and that was someone who was young, hyper. Someone who couldn't sit still to save his life, but someone who was above all, caring, compassionate and would help out wherever he could.

"Johnny had no problems helping Roy with any of the repairs that needed to done or wood working projects, like when we needed a new tool shed put up. If we needed a babysitter, it never mattered what he was doing, Johnny was always willing to help out unless he was injured or ill. I know he had even canceled dates to help us out and would set aside time to do special activities with the kids individually. Overtime, he just became a fixture and a family member. I know Johnny had always thought he had benefited more since he only has an aunt, but honestly, I think our family is the one who has."

"Maybe all of you are just lucky," Karl observed.

"Maybe," Joanne conceded.

Silence followed for a moment before the doctor moved on.

"Since you aren't in the medical field, and please, don't take offense to this, I'd like you to tell me what you believe are the problems facing Johnny right now."

"From what I understand, he thinks that he's about seven years old and still lives where he grew up. According to Roy, his aunt believes his parents died in September, so to Johnny, the loss of his parents is fairly recent. For a child of that age, death has to be a hard concept to deal with and there is also the fact that his sense of security, family and place in the world has disappeared suddenly. Personally, I can't imagine it and that is a major challenge that those around him will have to help Johnny cope with," Jo began. "Then, from what I have observed and from what his doctors have said, he is experiencing a lot of anxiety and mood swings. As my daughter reminded us, considering all he is trying to deal with, it's not hard to understand why Johnny is experiencing these extreme moods, although I believe that there might be other reasons why as well. I'm not sure really why I think that way, I guess since I've seen him confused from minor head injuries, in pain from various injuries or illness and whatnot. It's just something I can't put my finger on…

"Anyway, Johnny is also dealing with being in pain from an event he can't remember and being in pain is hard enough for him. At least, it has always been so since we've known him. I'm not sure how he dealt with pain as a kid. We really don't know much about him as a kid, in fact," Jo realized. "Besides these challenges, we were told he has weakness in his muscle, but honestly, I don't really understand that. If I had to guess, I'd assume that means that he would have issues with his strength? The one good thing seems to be that even though he doesn't know Roy, the two of them still seem to have a bond and Johnny is somewhat willing to allow Roy in and trust him."

Impressed by her outlook, Dr. Druthers stared at her for a moment.

"I must say Joanne, you have surprised me in many ways."

Blushing, Jo just shrugged, "I am a mom and if I don't pay attention, chaos tends to reign."

"It isn't just your observation skills, although you were right about the issues we know that John is facing at this time. It is also the fact that you seem to be accepting that he is a child. You seem to be able to acknowledge how things are and not dwell on what may happen or could happen."

"I think it comes from being a firefighter's wife for so many years. If I didn't stay focused on what the present was like, all I'd do was worry about the future and what could happen to my husband and Johnny. That would just eat me alive and I'd never have any peace, nor could I enjoy life," Jo said modestly.

"That is a wonderful attitude and way to go through life," Karl praised her. "It will certainly help you out in this situation. How do you think Roy, Chris and Jennifer are dealing with this situation however? And what worries do you have?"

Pausing to gather her thoughts, Jo mentally inventoried how everyone had been reacting to the current circumstances and the discussions that had been held throughout Johnny's hospitalization.

"Roy's having a difficult time facing the situation. Despite all that he sees in his job, when it comes to family, he hates thinking the worst could happen. He needs to find a way to accept that this is what is right now and realize that things may never be what they were again. He is trying so hard, but it's difficult and he forgets at times what the situation is. I feel so…sad, I guess, for him. He has other friends, namely the Station 51 crew, but he and Johnny have had a much deeper bond than anyone else. Even if this situation doesn't last, he will need to find someone else to lean on, another guy to talk with and that'll be hard for him. Roy isn't the type who is good at being free with his thoughts and emotions. Johnny has always been able to bring those aspects out in him with his energy and love of life.

"Chris too is going to have more difficulty with this situation than Jenny or I. Again, this is because he has relied on Johnny for guy stuff or guy talks that he'd rather not discuss with his dad. Johnny has always made sure that we know about the stuff they talk about if it's important, don't get me wrong," Joanne hastened to add. "But I am not sure anyone could fill that void even a bit. Although Chris thinks he understands what is happening, until he sees for himself how much has changed, I doubt he will truly get it. The same goes for Jenny as I think knowing and really knowing is just too difficult for them to grasp," Joanne took a deep breath.

"As far as Jenny goes, she has lost a playmate whom she loves to death. It'll be a major change for her as well and although she doesn't exactly talk to him about personal issues, she does rely on Johnny for other things. Things like someone to help her shop for her Christmas gifts now that she is older and has spending money, help planning her birthday parties, simple yet important things like that," pausing, Joanne surreptitiously wiped at her eyes as tears formed.

“I don't know how either one of my babies could get over losing their Uncle Johnny. The thought of them having to grieve for them as if he was gone, even if it is for a short time is almost too painful for me to think about, Joanne thought. He has been such a huge part of our lives for so long that I can't imagine how they would handle it.”

Sighing once again, Jo shook herself mentally in order to free herself from the grim thoughts, knowing that allowing herself to be sucked into them would only hurt herself and her family.

Continuing to answer the doctor's questions, Jo told him, "Johnny's been involved with our lives so much that it's going to be a major adjustment for everyone. I worry that the kids are going to feel neglected as we attempt to get into a routine that involves a child-like Johnny. I worry that Roy will sacrifice being a Fire Captain for a Paramedic Captain so that he has a more routine job and ends up being miserable because he misses the excitement. I worry that his friends and our neighbors will end up finding things too difficult and stop helping deal with any issues that may come up for one reason or another. It isn't a huge worry of mine though as the guys Roy works with, along with their families, have become a part of our family over the years. If anything, I'm more worried that our family won't be able to handle the situation and Johnny will end up in some home that breaks his spirit and we let him down in some way. I worry that our family won't be able to heal his spirit," Jo realized she was rambling and started fidgeting with her purse handle.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that. It's just…" stopping, Jo turned red.

 _I can't believe how stupid I am sounding! At this rate, he will think there is no way our family and our home is where Johnny belongs!_ Jo berated herself.

"It's okay," Doctor Druthers softly assured her. "Trust me, I am actually glad to hear all this. In fact, it's encouraging to know how much thought you have put into all of this. You are level-headed in my opinion. Not many are as introspective as you have been. These are all issues we need to go over in order to make sure that Johnny is placed in the best environment for not only physical healing, but help him heal emotional as well. You just answered some questions I was going to ask before I could get them out."

Laughing, Joanne felt a lot better and a bit less crazy.

"So, this is fairly normal?" she asked.

"Yes, and I promise, I will try to answer what I can. Granted, not all of these things can be addressed as of yet, but we will work on it."

Nodding her head in the affirmative, Joanne listened as Karl began addressing her worries.

"As far as your husband goes, I would like to discuss your worries with him one-on-one, if you don't mind. I won't mention that you brought them up as I have my own reasons for not doing so, but you may let him know if you wish," Doctor Druthers said.

"That's fine."

"Good. Now, as far as your kids go," he said, leaning back in his chair. "That will take some effort. I already plan on talking with both Chris and Jenny today that they needed to accept that Johnny as completely different person than who they knew. There are other subjects I will approach with them, but as of right now, I'm not going to bring them up here.

"What will help out both of them is that they stick to as much of the same routine as possible. I can understand that with the situation as it is, you may need someone else needs to pick them up from school or after-school activities. However, as much as possible, I'd like the two of you to make an effort to have dinner with them nightly. That way, if it is determined that your home is the best place for Johnny, you will already have an established routine. Of course, if someone is gone, for whatever reason, just have whoever is home sit down together for dinner.

"Try to have a chore schedule set up if you don't already. I feel that it is vital that if Johnny goes home with you that he be included in as much of the family activities as possible. What he is able to do will depend on what his doctors says and how he is healing of course. The point is to make him feel a part of the family and again, by having a schedule set-up, it will help immensely."

"Can I have this written down?" Joanne asked, feeling intimidated by the amount of information.

"Opps, sorry," Karl sheepishly said. "Here is a notepad and pen."

After handing that over and giving her time to write down the notes, he continued.

"Allow Chris and Jenny keep any of the summer activities they were planning on. Again, make sure that you or your husband drop up or pick them up if you normally would have if possible. If it isn't for some reason, I would explain it to your children as they are old enough to understand and then set-up something a bit special just for them. It will also help if you set aside time for just them. For example, it would be helpful if you just spend some time with Jenny and then just some time with Chris. Family time will be one of the main keys to making this situation work. Another other key is to take care of yourself," Dr. Druthers directed. "If you allow yourself to become worn out and you don't have time to yourself every day, you will burn out. At that point, you will be no good and certainly no help to anyone. It is not selfish at all to take a half-hour or so for yourself."

"Guess that makes sense," Joanne mumbled to herself, her head bent over the notepad as she scribbled down notes.

"I know you said worry that Roy might become involved with the paramedic training and he may not realize that it isn't what's best for everyone involved. I would suggest that we leave that topic alone for now. I will likely suggest a brief session with the two of you to in order to help figure things out like that if Johnny does end up going home with you. In the meantime, it'd be helpful to have such a session to develop a routine that would be helpful for your two children and one where Johnny could be included in if things go the way you hope. I haven't brought this up with Roy yet as with school in session, I am assuming that you have a fairly good routine down. You can let him know and I will let him know tomorrow about this."

"That'd be great. And you're right, until summer starts in a couple of weeks, things are pretty much under control," Jo sighed in relief.

Looking down at his watch, Karl saw that a little over an hour had passed by.

"Is there anything you would like to chat about yet? Or anything else you're worried about?" he inquired.

"Honestly, at this moment, I think I just feel like my brain has been overloaded with information," Joanne confessed. "If anything, I worry that Roy and I shouldn't have been so straightforward with our kids about Johnny's injuries, but…"

"Well, what were your other options?" Dr. Druthers asked.

"We could have not told them."

"Or?" he prodded.

"We could have downplayed the injuries," Joanne admitted.

"And what would have happened if you did either of those two things?" Karl challenged her to imagine the other possibilities.

"Roy and I have always believed in answering any questions Chris or Jenny ask us and so they would have wanted to know why Johnny wasn't coming over. There is no way either one of us could have not said anything," Joanne contemplated. "We felt that they deserved the whole truth, and not just because the two of them asked questions, but because he is family and Roy and I want to help him live the best life possible, no matter the outcome. By not telling Chris and Jenny everything as far we know, they wouldn't be prepared for what could happen and they wouldn't have a grasp on whether they could handle having Johnny home."

Seeing the question on the doctor's face, Joanne went on to explain, "Roy and I asked both Chris and Jenny after explaining what was happening with Johnny, as well as what could happen and the fact that it could be permanent if they would still want to have him live with us. It wouldn't have been fair to lie to our kids just to get what we wanted. They have to deal with the obstacles that are bound to come up from the head injury."

"Ahhh," Doctor Druthers smiled. "So, it sounds like by informing the kids about the effects of the injuries, you were able to make an informed family decision on what all four of you felt you could handle and what was not only best for Johnny, but best for your family."

"Well, yes," Joanne stated uncertainly.

"To me it sounds as if you and Roy did the right thing. Yes, it can't be easy for your kids to understand and accept, but given the other choices, this was the best one."

Reflecting on that point, Jo began to see what Karl was explaining. After letting her ponder that for a few minutes, he moved on.

"Is there anything else that you are concerned about?"

Shaking her head no, Joanne gave him a small smile.

"At least not today. More than likely tomorrow I will, it's just a lot to process all at once," she told him.

"I understand," he said sympathetically as he stood up. "Just give me a call if you or anyone in your family need anything. Otherwise, bring up Chris and Jenny after school. As I mentioned it to Roy, I cleared it with the peds floor that they can have access to the playroom."

Also standing up, Joanne thanked him.

"You've been a big help so far. I'll see you later today, probably around 3:30 p.m. or 4 p.m. It all depends on how fast I can get them moving!"

"Don't worry about that, I'm here till at least 6 tonight and can stay a bit later," he professed.

Thanking him again for his time, Joanne left Doctor Druthers office and went down to Johnny's ICU cubicle, hoping that her husband's presence was helping him sleep peacefully.


	16. Meeting Doctor Swarl-Interlude

While Joanne attended the session with the psychologist, Roy went back to the ICU to sit with Johnny. Opening his copy of _The Day of the Jackal_ , he prepared himself to wait. However, despite the appeal of the novel, Roy found his mind wandering more often than he desired. Too many questions were swirling about in his mind and knowing that the answers to them were out of reach at the moment wasn't helping.

"Hi, how you holding up?" Dixie asked, entering as softly as possible so as not to disturb Johnny.

To say he was grateful for the interruption from morose thoughts was an understatement.

"Alright," Roy replied, shrugging.

Arching an eyebrow at him, Dixie gently brushed Johnny's hair from his eyes.

_Or at least what's left of his hair. We definitely need to fix your hair so it doesn't resemble a Barbie doll that some kid took their scissors to so much._

"It's hard, seeing him like this and knowing I can't do nothing," Roy gave in and confessed. He knew all too well Dixie would eventually get him to talk. "Even with all the medications, Johnny's still restless and seems to be fighting something. Then, not knowing what will happen is just plain, well terrifying. And I cannot even begin to imagine what he must be going through."

"You are doing something though," Dix pointed out. "You're here and your entire family is fighting for him. That is huge."

Unable to figure out a good response, Roy just shrugged.

"He's family. How are you holding up?"

"So, so I guess," was the answer with a quiver in the voice. "Like you, I hate what happened and I wish I wasn't so helpless."

Clearing her throat from a sudden rush of emotions, Dix glanced at her watch.

"I should get going, my break is almost over. If you need anything, just call or come down."

"Actually, do you think you could ask Doc if he can get the records from when Johnny umm, lost his parents?" Roy hesitantly asked. "Normally, I wouldn't pry, but…"

"I think in this case, it might help," she said softly. "I'll be sure to ask him. You'll probably have to sign some paperwork, but he should be able to get it."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem," Dix said as she straighten the covers of Johnny's bed and fussed over him a bit more before heading to the door. "Remember, call if you need anything."

Smiling slightly, Roy assured her he would. With once last glance at Johnny and a nod towards Roy, Dixie left the ICU cubicle.

With Dixie gone, Roy attempted to get back into his book, but it was a fruitless effort. Instead, he spent his time staring blankly out the window, desperately trying to avoid thoughts. However, Johnny soon started becoming even more restless than before. Despite the heavy drugs coursing through his system, he tried moving about, almost as though he was locked in a nightmare and was struggling to emerge.

Immediately, Roy went to his side and grabbed on to the hand that seemed to be seeking some sort of comfort. The groaning that had begun to soften slightly as the movements ceased in frequency.

"Shhh, Junior, it's okay. Everything is okay. Just relax and try not to move. Everything is fine," Roy soothed.

Coming in the middle of this, Jo quickly went to the other side and held onto Johnny's other hand.

Speaking quietly, she asked, "Do you want to get the nurse?"

"Yeah, I think his meds are wearing off again," he said. "It seems like he might be developing a bit of a tolerance for them."

Within a minute of the call button being pushed, Nurse Northstrom entered. Seeing Johnny fidgeting despite Roy's attempts to calm him down, she quickly deduced the problem.

"Time for his medication?"

"Yeah, like I mentioned to Jo, I think he seemed to be developing a bit of a tolerance to them," Roy informed her.

Glancing at Johnny's chart and then her watch, she informed him, "Considering the time frame between medications, he is just a bit shy of needing them. I will let Doctor Swarl know however. He should be here shortly as I saw him on the floor heading to another patient's room. If you'll excuse me Mrs. DeSoto, I just need to get his vital signs."

"Oh, certainly nurse. Sorry," she said, caught off guard slightly. "And please, call me Joanne, or Jo."

Smiling, the nurse said, "Don't worry and please, call me Cindy."

Quickly taking the vital signs, Cindy noted them down on the medical chart.

"How's his b.p.?" asked Roy.

"It's better. Not a lot," she confessed. "However, it is going down."

Both Jo and Roy let out a sigh of relief. Knowing that every hour his blood pressure continued going down only meant a better chance of a good outcome and less effects from the brain injury, both were hopeful that there would be no more setbacks like the night before.

"Good afternoon," a man standing about five inches shorter than Roy's six foot, one inch height with dark red hair and green eyes.

 _Must be the other neuro doc,_ Roy summarized, knowing he had never met the man before.

"Doctor Swarl?" cautiously asked Roy.

"Yes, sorry, I tend to forget to introduce myself," the doctor smiled, holding out his hand.

Getting the vital signs from Nurse Northstrom, he looked at the monitors displaying Johnny's heart rate. Going over the chart, he noticed the concerns about the possibilities of a tolerance to the diazepam.

"Let me give Mr. Gage a quick look over and then we can go over some of the questions you two might have."

"Johnny," Jo said. "He hates being called Mr. Gage, always said it makes him feel old."

Smiling, the doctor listened to Johnny's heart and lungs before checking his pupils for dilation. Doctor Swarl then took his reflex hammer out of his lab coat to check Johnny's various reflexes before flipping the hammer over to see how his non-casted foot to see if there was a Babinski response. Thankfully, that was negative. Concluding his exam, Doctor Swarl asked the nurse to go ahead with the normal dosage of diazepam and dexmedetomidine. Sitting down on the chair he had brought in, he faced the DeSoto's.

"So far, things are progressing fairly well, despite the setback he had last night," he informed them. "Ideally, we would like Johnny's blood pressure to go down further faster, however, everyone does heal at their own pace and at least it is going down. As long as that trend continues, all we as doctors can really do is wait and watch for changes.

"X-ray's will continue to be taken every day or every other day if possible as we really don't want to subject him to too many of those considering the length of time it will likely take for the bruises to heal. On the other hand, considering we do need to monitor the swelling and ensure that the bruising doesn't result in other damages, such as more bleeding, we may not have a choice but to schedule Johnny for skull series daily. Of course, if his blood pressure goes up again, than we will have to change our course of treatment.

"Hopefully, by keeping him sedated until the swelling goes down to the point where it is almost non-existent, it will help a great deal in healing. Not just the head injury, but his other injuries as well. As far as the age regression, well, honestly, considering Doctor Early is Johnny's doctor and I have never dealt with this condition before, I'd rather leave that area up to him. He will be able to guide you better than almost any other neurologist, especially since all of you know each other.

"Johnny's reflexes are looking fine considering where he is at right now. His heart is strong. I do have some concerns about his lungs, as they are starting to sound congested. I am sure you were made aware that it isn't uncommon for patients to develop lung infections or pneumonia after surgery or when they are on bed rest like this?" Doctor Swarl asked. Seeing Roy and Joanne nod that they did, he continued.

"I am going to consult with Doctor Brackett as to what antibiotic will be the best one to start Johnny on. Hopefully, the infection has been caught early enough that with the antibiotic, no major problems will develop. As far as the other medication, I think right now, our best bet is to just watch him and continue the blood work to make sure the levels are within the range we would like. So far, they have been, so I am not worried about Johnny developing a tolerance at this point, although this is something that do watch for anytime medications are used for this length of time. If it happens that he does develop a tolerance, there are other things we could try, but right now, let's not worry about that, okay? Do you have any questions?"

Taking a few minutes to digest the wealth of information that was given to them, Jo and Roy looked at each other in silent communication.

"Why not use the CT Scan instead of x-rays?" Roy inquired.

"Unfortunately, the CT Scan, while it is able to give us a better picture of the brain, takes a lot longer to develop the images than an x-ray. Here at Rampart, while we're lucky that we have the scanner at all as not many hospitals do considering how new the technology is, we don't have the capabilities to develop the results. Considering that, we have to send out the information to a place about an hour away. At times, they can get backed up as they deal with many other hospitals for developing images and therefore, it can take up to a day to get the image we want. The scanner will be used, however to check the progress once a week for a while I believe. You would need to consult with Doctor Early about that."

Glancing at her husband again, Jo took a deep breath, "What do you think are the chances Johnny will recover enough?"

Seeing the perplexed look on Dr. Swarl's face, she tried again, "Do you think he will recover from the age regression?"

"Honestly, I don't know," he said, sounding a bit sad. "I wish I could tell you, but from what I understand, there is no way to know until the brain contusions heal."

Nodding, tears formed in her eyes as it felt like more hope was taken away. Knowing it could be months before any guesses could be formed was heartbreaking. Holding onto Joanne closely, Roy thanked the doctor for his time.

"You're welcome. I'll be back to check on Johnny later this evening," he informed them as he stood up. "I truly am sorry I couldn't be of more help."

Nodding, Roy watched as he left and Cindy Northstrom entered with the medication to help Johnny. Within minutes, John was once again in a deep sleep.

 _Even if it is only temporary, at least Johnny can escape and find peace,_ Roy gratefully thought.


	17. Lunchtime

The DeSotos waited another half-hour once Johnny fell back asleep, neither of them willing to leave his side. Despite the fact the restlessness was barely there, both Joanne and Roy felt the need to protect him. For Roy, he had a hard leaving as his mind kept going back to how these injuries were gained.

 _How do we even know that some part of him isn't aware of what took place to cause these injuries?_ Roy worried. _Even if he isn't aware, are the meds really blocking out all the pain and fear? How am I supposed to leave him knowing how vulnerable he is? Sure, others here are watching out for him, but I seem to be the one he can trust at least somewhat. How could I abandon him even for short amounts considering this?_

Joanne too was having similar thoughts and worries, although hers were not just about Johnny. For her, she wasn't sure how to help her husband.

All she could think was, _how am I supposed to ask him to divide his time between Johnny and our other family members when Johnny needs him so much? Yet, at the same time, the kids need the reassurance that even with all the changes, their dad will still be there for them. And how do I convince Roy this wasn't his fault?_

Sighing, Joanne knew there were no easy answers or fast ways of dealing with this. Instead, like the times when her worry would threaten to override common sense whenever Roy was sent to a brush fire for days at a time or there were news reports about firefighters being trapped during a rescue, she would have to take things one moment at a time.

 _Even though Roy has experience dealing with the worries and fear that comes when Johnny is injured, I know this is a whole new level of anxiety and fear. I guess it will be up to me to show him how to cope when the unknowns threaten to topple your daily world,_ Jo resolved.

Standing up, she gently kissed Johnny on the forehead.

"Come on honey," she told Roy as she came around to the end of the bed. "It's almost one already and we need to pick up the kids in a couple of hours. We should grab something to eat while we can."

Nodding, he gave Johnny's hand a quick squeeze before standing up and following Jo out the cubicle. Before leaving the ICU ward, Roy informed Nurse Northstrom that they would be at the cafeteria in case anyone needed to find them. After assuring both Jo and Roy that she would look in on Johnny a bit more often while they were gone for the next hour, the DeSoto's left in search of food.

Neither Roy nor Jo spoke a word as they traveled down the elevator to the first floor or went through the lunch line. Both were just feeling too mentally drained at that point that having a quiet lunch was a welcome reprieve. Near the end of their lunch, Doctor Brackett came out and asked if he could join them for a bit.

"Sure, doc," Roy agreed. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no," Dr. Brackett hurriedly assured him and Jo. "I just wanted to discuss a few things with you two as well as get the paperwork signed that you requested."

"Ahh, ok," Roy drank the last of his milk before wiping his hands to take the papers being handed to him. "So, have you figured out exactly where to send them or…?"

"Unfortunately, no. That's why there is a bunch of forms. I figure that I will send one to the local school district, the county social service, the local clinic, the local fire department and the local police department. I also found there is a Baptist mission located there, which isn't all too uncommon, so I included a form to see if they had any information regarding Johnny or his family. I also am going to send a request to a few of their local work unions that were around the time he was born to see if we can find out about his father, what type of work he did, etc. Finally, I have a form that will be going to the cultural center. I don't believe it was around when he was born, but I can't be certain and I figure at this point, it will be better to try to cover all the possible bases at once. I'll be sure to fax the paperwork to the local postal office and ask that they airmail the information the various places have so we can have the information in a few days.

I would like you to contact his aunt, see if she could send you any and all information she has about Johnny." Doctor Bracket asked. "I have a list of what I am going to be asking for as well as what I would like you to ask for from his aunt. I am not sure if his school or medical records after his aunt took over his care will help, but I'm hoping it will give us more of a complete picture of his childhood, just in case."

"Just in case of what?" Roy wondered. "I mean, isn't asking for all this a bit much? I can understand some of this, but what if he does recover. He likely will not be happy about us knowing all of this. You know how private he is about his past."

"I know Roy," assured the doctor. "That's why you are not going to see any of this and I will only tell you what I believe you need to know. However, we need to prepare for anything that may happen, whether it is that Johnny stays the age he is or if he recovers partly and thinks he is older than he is right now, but not his true age. It will be much easier to get all of this now rather than getting some now and some later if needed. I hate the idea of invading his privacy as well and if there was a different way of helping him, I'd do so.

"It's just that this head injury is taking away a lot of our options right now and there are too many uncertainties at this point in time. Unfortunately, even with all the technology and resources available, as doctors are bound and we can't do anything but wait and see. This is basically the only way I know how I can help you so that you can help Johnny," Dr. Brackett said with frustration clear in his voice.

Reaching out to take his hand, Joanne softly told him, "I guess we forgot how much you care for him and how hard this is for you. We do appreciate everything you're doing."

Squeezing his hand, Jo backed off, sensing the high emotions at their lunch table. Clearing his throat, Doctor Brackett blinked rapidly.

"Well, umm, yeah," he stuttered and stumbled over his words, uncertain how to deal with things. He was also highly embarrassed to be caught showing his caring and vulnerable side.

_For goodness sake, I'm a doctor. It shouldn't matter that I am friends with Johnny or Roy or their families. I should be able to maintain the distance and not be so emotionally involved. I cannot do my job if I get too caught up in the fact that I care more about them than I would most patients. Besides, what on earth would people think?_

Going back to a topic he was clearly more comfortable with, he pointed out to Roy where to sign.

"As soon as you sign these, I will just get these fax."

Signing the numerous paperwork, Roy let out a deep breath. Dr. Brackett took the sheaf of paperwork and pulled out more.

"More?" Roy exclaimed under his breath.

"These are different," Doctor Brackett said, clearly uncomfortable. "I talked to my lawyer a couple days ago about this situation. I knew you two had more than enough to deal with and well, honestly, I wasn't even sure what to do about this situation. I knew that considering that it will take at least a couple of months to find out how much Johnny will recover, someone will need to take care of things for him as far as finances go. Things like rent on his apartment, any car payments or other bank payments he may have. Someone will need to be able to cash his disability check and so on.

"I asked my lawyer what happens when a person who is rendered unable to do these things because they are mentally incapable due to a head injury. I needed to know if the person with the medical power of attorney and the next of kin have the ability to do these things. I was told by my lawyer, Steven Larsen that those two documents don't cover those areas. What you need to do is file with the court documents from two physicians stating the injury, the effects of the injury and the possible duration of the injury along with a request for temporary guardianship. In cases like this, Steven said that it is almost always granted if you ask for a reasonable time period, such as two months in this case. The time period can always be extended. If worst comes to worse, and this becomes permanent, than a third doctor who wasn't involved in the initial care and treatment would need to do an evaluation before permanent guardianship is granted.

"I wanted to bring this up now because even if for some reason it is felt that your home isn't the best place for Johnny, someone would need to have guardianship over him," shifting in discomfort at what he was going to bring up next, but knowing he was legally obligated, Doctor Brackett continued. "Of course, you don't need to go through this process at all. If you choose not to, someone from social services would be assigned as his case worker and take over the responsibility of managing his money, where Johnny lived and any other needs he may have until he is able to manage on his own."

Joanne and Roy looked at each other in shock.

"Doc, you should know me better than that!" Roy practically yelled.

"There is no way on this earth that anyone is taking care of Johnny, but us," Joanne stated firmly.

Smiling, the doctor simply said, "I figured you both would feel that way. I had to tell you anyway, but knowing you two, I brought the paperwork that you will need to fill out. I recommend you to take your time and fill it out so you know everything is filled in correctly. It will take a couple days for us doctors to fill out our portion of the paperwork. Your end is fairly simple, just names, address, stuff like that."

"Thanks," Roy said gratefully.

"I am so glad you did this," Joanne agreed.

"Not a problem," Doctor Brackett said truthfully. "I am just so glad John has you two on his side. I got to get back to work now, but let me know if you need anything at all."

"I think we're good for right now," Roy let him know. "By the way, you were right. I think having Doctor Druthers on our side will help and our kids will get along with him."

"I'm glad. Now, let's just hope that when the crew meet him, he doesn't lock up Chet for a 72-hour hold," Dr. Brackett joked.

"I didn't know they were going to meet with him," Jo was surprised.

"Me either."

Rising from his chair, the doctor informed them, "the fire chief thought it would be a good idea for a psych consult considering how close all of you are and since everyone wants to help you succeed in bringing Johnny home, he agreed to my suggestion to seeing Dr. Druthers. I think it will be a group meeting and then, if needed, individual sessions. This is in addition to the trip to New Horizons."

"Ahh, thanks again," Roy said as he too got up.

Joanne also rose, stating, "I can't tell you how grateful I am that you watch out for my extended family."

Blushing a bit, Dr. Brackett looked at his watch.

"I really have to get back to the ER. I'll see you guys later."

"Yeah, we'll be bringing the kids here in a couple hours if you want to stop by later," Jo offered.

"I just might do that. Take care," he told them as he left.

Grabbing their plates and glasses, Roy stacked them on a tray and bused them.

"It looks like we have about an hour before we have to get the kids."

Taking her husband's hand, Jo said, "let's go see that third child of ours. Make sure he is doing alright."

Smiling, the two of them went back up to the ICU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Fax machines were first used in 1924, although they weren't capable of doing much. By the late 1970's, when this story takes place, there were a lot of companies who were involved in making and selling of fax machines, making them cheaper and better than their predecessors. Therefore, it is logical to assume that during this story, even a smaller reservation may have been able to afford one.
> 
> According to the research I did on the Seminole people and the reservation, the mission Baptists were the ones who often came to a reservation. They were typically the only church who came to the reservation from what I could find in my research. If I am incorrect in this, I apologize.


	18. After School

At quarter to three that afternoon, Roy and Joanne discussed the best plan of action for the rest of the night. After a few minutes, they felt it was best if Roy followed Joanne home and they both picked up the kids at their school so that both of them would be available to answer any questions Chris or Jennifer may have come up with during the day. The need to make sure that if a teacher needed to speak with them about any worrisome behavior was also present as Joanne had alerted the school to the situation when the accident happened. Although there had been no problems yet, Roy and Jo realized the longer the circumstances continued, the more likely that something may take place.

Roy also reasoned it would be easier to go with his kids up to Dr. Druthers office and hopefully find a way to sneak them into see Johnny. Despite the ICU not allowing kids under 15 in, often times, the nurses were willing to bend the rules for the DeSoto family. Let Nurse Northstrom of this plan, the couple went out to the parking area to find their cars and met at home.

Taking a couple of minutes to grab a book Jenny was reading and a couple of sport magazines for Chris while she waited for Roy, Joanne noticed that someone had done a quick clean-up of her house. Glancing in the refrigerator were not only the basic groceries they had started running low on, but a bunch of meals that could be heated quickly. The freezer was packed with even more meals and some frozen treats while the counter had some baked goods.

Shaking her head, all Jo could think was, _I can't even imagine what I would do without the Station 51 A shift family… I can't count how many times this has been done for our family when Roy and/or Johnny has gotten hurt._

Hearing Roy's car pull up, she quickly wiped her eyes clear and grabbed a brown paper bag which was labeled as an afternoon snack for the kids. As she entered the passenger side of the station wagon while Roy got into the driver's side, he asked what she had all picked up.

"Just some reading material for the kids in case they don't have homework or need a break," she said. "Plus, I found a bunch of food again in the freeze, fridge and counters. There were a couple of bags labeled as "Kids Afternoon Snacks" so I grabbed one. I figure the person, or people, behind all the cooking, baking and whatnot knows us too well. Oh, someone also took the liberty of dusting and vacuuming the main rooms, and cleaning up the kitchen and kids baths."

Smiling, Roy asked, "What do you expect? I know the guys couldn't help out this time since they're working, so it was probably Irene, Marco's mom and Chet's mom."

"I just wish I could thank them."

Pulling up to the school, Roy looked at Joanne and asked rhetorically, "and how often have you done the same when others are injured?"

Shrugging, Jo didn't answer as the school bell rang and a mass of kids ran full tilt out of the school. It wasn't long before Chris and Jenny were hurtling themselves into the car. As soon as they were in and buckled, both began talking.

"Hold it," Roy gently commanded. "First of all, one at a time. Secondly, things are still the same as they were yesterday with your…with Johnny. I'll see if I can sneak you two in if you'd like, but you have to understand, despite the medications helping him sleep, Johnny is still restless and not all the pain is under control. He also has two black eyes from the head trauma and although he isn't bald, his hair is cut very oddly. It had to be done that way for the surgery. He also has a lot of other small bumps, bruises, burn marks and stitches. Since his ankle is broken, his right foot, ankle and half-way to his knee is covered in a cast. I want you to think long and hard about if you are able to handle seeing Johnny like this and feel free to talk it over with Dr. Druthers, alright?

"Johnny is also hooked up to an oxygen mask to help his breathing. There isn't anything wrong with his lungs, it's just that because of the medications the doctors are giving him, he needs some support with his breathing. Johnny also has what is called a central line since yesterday. It's similar to an IV, but it goes in through his shoulder and directly to his heart. The central line is being used because of the medications that need to be used and for the length of time they will need to be used. There is also an IV port so that the nurses can take blood as needed. Johnny also has a tube down his nose right now so that his body can get the nutrition it needs."

Seeing that his kids were listening carefully and nodding through his rearview mirror, Roy continued, "since he is in the ICU, his heart is being monitored through an EKG. The nurses are also monitoring vitals every thirty minutes. Since there is only so much medication that can be given without risking Johnny's health, I've been spending a lot of time by his side as it seems to help. While you two are seeing Dr. Druthers, your mom and I would like it if you could do homework if you have any or mom picked up something for you to read while you wait. I can wait with you, or if you don't mind, I'll wait in the ICU."

Watching as Jenny and Chris thought it over, Roy and Jo weren't at all surprised when they both said it would be fine for just their mom to wait in the outside office with them.

"It seems pointless to have you doing nothing, dad," Jenny told him flat out. "I know I can just read the book I have with me."

"Same here, although I still have some homework to do. You'd just end up restless even though I'm sure you have a book. Probably the same book you bring along almost any time winds up in the hospital since you never get past the first few chapters," Chris giggled saying this.

Ignoring the comment since he couldn't deny it, Roy looked over to Joanne for help. All she did was laugh as well.

"I brought you guys a snack someone from the station packed as supper might be a bit later tonight," she told the kids, unwilling to get sucked in.

Starting the car, Roy began the drive back to the hospital.

"Once you two are finished with your sessions, I believe Dr. Druthers might talk with us a bit. Not because he will tell us what you talked about, but rather because I guess for your mom and I, we need to set an actual time, rather than dropping by as we did today. He'll go over all the privacy stuff with you, but unless it's something we need to know because it will affect our family and the care of Johnny I believe, I think that everything remains between you and the doctor. Even if Dr. Early asks, he won't break that confidentiality. It's against the law, unless you're a danger to yourself or others."

"Cool," Chris said.

"Yea," Jenny agreed. "No offense, but it'll be kinda nice to talk to someone like that."

"I understand sweetie," Jo replied as Roy found a place to park.

"I'll head home with you guys for supper and come back to stay with Johnny for a bit, but I promise to be home by ten o'clock, ok?"

Seeing the kids nodded, Roy took a deep breath and questioned, "You two all set?"

"Yep," came the replies and with that, the family went in the main entrance and headed to Dr. Druthers office on the 8th floor.


	19. The Kids Go to Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to some reviews, I redid this chapter so that the kids responses hopefully sound more real and less coached. Thanks for your patience and help!

As Roy and Joanne led their kids into Dr. Druther’s office, he was there to greet them.

“Kids, this is Dr. Druthers. Doc, this is Chris and Jenny. Jo is going to stay up here with them while I go back down and visit with Johnny,” Roy explained as he introduced everyone.

“Sounds good,” Karl Druthers said. “Did Dr. Brackett mentioned about tomorrow at all?”

“Oh, yeah, about that. Jo and I thought that if it was alright with you, I’d come in around eight tomorrow morning and she’d wait downstairs with Johnny till our session was done. That way, if the guys had a rough night, there’d be plenty of time in the late morning and afternoon to come in after going home for a bit,” Roy told him.

“Sounds good to me, and don’t worry if you’re running a bit late,” he reassured him. “My thoughts were to call your Captain today, let him know I’d just like to meet everyone one-on-one for a bit before meeting as a group. I might call you up during the group meeting, although it depends on how things go and such.”

“Alright, just let me know. I plan on basically spending the time with Johnny since he seems calmer with me around,” Roy agreed. Turning to his kids and wife, he said, “I’ll see you three later.”

Gathering them both in his arms for a hug, he whispered in their ears, “Remember what mom and I talked about. It’s okay to talk to him about anything, alright? I know it will be hard for you both, but we are just proud that you two are willing to try.”

“I know dad, you’ve told us that a hundred times already,” Chris said, wiggling out of the hug. Although he didn’t mind shows of affection, at his age, the times he would allow them were getting to be less frequent, especially in front of strangers.

“Don’t worry dad,” Jenny reassured her dad as she held on tight. “We want Uncle Johnny home too.”

Giving him a quick hug, Joanne told him, “I’ll see you later hun.”

As Roy left, Dr. Druthers turned to the remaining DeSoto’s and asked if they had decided which one would like to go first. Seeing his sister’s nervous look, Chris volunteered. Following the doctor to the room, he checked out the place and was relieved that it didn’t look like the typical office.

“Feel free to take a seat anywhere,” Doctor Druthers offered.

Nodding, Chris perched on the edge of the armchair close to the door, feeling his nerves kick in.

“If it helps, I promise that this will be painless,” Dr. Druthers teased, sensing Chris’ mood.

Smiling slightly, Chris asked, “So what happens now?”

“Well, first I’d like to tell you about some rules here, although they are actually rules for me,” the doctor started to explain, but stopped when he saw Chris roll his eyes. “Or did your parents go over these rules with you already?”

“Yeah,” Chris admitted.

Waiting a while for him to continue, Karl stepped in when he felt that Chris wouldn’t continue.

“Since I have an obligation to make sure the rules are understood, could you tell me what you think they mean?” he prodded.

“Well…basically, it kinda sounds like you’ll keep things to yourself as long, as it won’t hurt me or others and you’ll also not tell anyone about what we talk about unless it will help me and my family figure out how to help Johnny so he can stay with our family, right?” Chris blurted out, worried that he didn’t understand things correctly.

“Exactly,” Dr. Druthers beamed a smile towards him, proud of how quickly this eleven year old caught on. “My goal is to make sure that everyone in your family, including Johnny, will benefit the most from whatever I recommend to Dr. Early. Even Doctor Early won’t know what we talk about in here unless I think he can help your family figure out ways to make life easier if I do decide that it is better for Johnny to go home with you.”

Nodding, Chris muttered, “I just hope he comes home with us.”

“Why is that?”

Glancing around the room, clearly uncomfortable admitting his feelings, Chris confessed, “He’s a huge part of our family. If he wasn’t around, it’d be like something would be missing, ya know? He’s always been like a kid anyway.”

“What do you think it’d be like if he did come home with you if he acted like a seven-year old?” Dr. Druthers asked.

“He’d probably act like my sister did, except without liking the girly stuff,” Chris said with a smile after thinking things over. “Mom and dad explained already that at least at first, if not longer, Jenny and I would have to rely on others to get to our activities. But honestly? Jenny and I talked about that last night cause we heard mom and dad trying to figure things out.”

Looking up, Chris blushed, “The two of us, well, with dad working at least twenty-four hours at a time, mom can’t take both of us to our games or whatever activities we got going on. So, depending on what the activity is or who she took last time, she’ll either find someone who can help her out or take us. Like, Jenny just had a mother/daughter thing for Scouts, while I had a game. Even though it had been my turn for mom to take me to the game, the Scout thing was special and so Jenny got an extra turn.”

“Did that bother you at all?” Dr. Druthers asked, a bit concerned.

“Yea, it did at first. Not as much as when I was younger though,” Chris answered honestly, looking down at his hands and fidgeting. “Mom, dad and Uncle Johnny remind me then about when Jenny’s had the same thing happen, like when I had an award thing back in March for sports. Mom and dad make sure we know why and usually set up something fun for us than. Like a sleep over at a friend's house. Last night, Jenny snuck into my room and asked if Unc…uh, Johnny…sorry.

“Me and Jenny tried practicing last night about not calling him our uncle, but it’s hard,” Chris revealed with frustration in his voice.

“Well, think of how long you have called him Uncle Johnny. You’ve been calling him that for what, almost ten years now?” Karl asked and then continued when he saw the boy nod. “It isn’t going to be easy to just stop calling him that when you think of the fact it is second nature to call him that.”

“What’s that mean?” Chris asked, curiosity written on his face.

“Second nature is something that is done instinctively, something done without thought because it is such a habit. Just like calling your dad, dad and your mom, mom is second nature,” Doctor Druthers explained.

Thinking about that, the doctor could see when the information sunk in and continued on the previous topic before they were distracted.

“So, how do you think you might handle the fact if Johnny came home to live with you guys? Keep in mind that since he doesn’t know anyone, building trust between your parents and him will be difficult and because it would be difficult to introduce too many people right now in his life, for at least a few months, your mom and dad would be the ones who need to take care of him. They would need to take him to all his doctor appointments, help him out in any areas that he needs help. Johnny would also be depending on all of you, not just your parents, but also you and Jenny to introduce him to a different place than he is used to.”

Leaning back in his chair, Chris sighed, “Man, that sounds like a lotta work.”

“It will be and Johnny will be completely dependent on your family for at least a few months until he is able to accept other people,” the doctor warned.

“Johnny’s had to be dependent on us before,” Chris said hesitantly. “I mean, the guys from the station would take him to physical therapy, but after injuries when he couldn’t be on his own, he’d stay with us…We’d take care of him for the most part. Mom and dad sometimes needed to spend more time with him, especially when he got the flu or something and then me and Jenny would catch rides with others.”

Pausing in his ramblings, Chris looked up at Doctor Druthers.

“I mean, I don’t get a lot of what it means, what Uncle Johnny, I mean Johnny,” he corrected himself. “But one thing I know is that mom and dad have always put Jenny and me first. Even when he’s hurt, dad makes sure we know that. It won’t be easy, but I think it’d be harder knowing we left him in some place.”

Thinking the best way to bring up his other concerns, Dr. Druthers, slowly explained, “There may certain areas where Johnny might not be the same as well. From what his doctors told me, how quick he reacts is slower than it normally is and although it’s getting better, he has trouble with his speech right now. Also, he may not understand the type of world we live in.”

“What do you mean?” Chris asked, confused.

“Well, when he was seven, he still was living on a reservation. During that time, some reservations had areas where the people had no electricity in the home, no running water in the home, small houses that were in very poor conditions and little to eat. I am not sure what Johnny experienced being raised on a reservation, but it might be that he experienced some of these things or all of these things. Not to mention, during the time he was younger, many people probably didn’t accept him because he was only half Indian, so he may have to deal with the issues that came up from that.”

“Are you saying people may have been mean to him just cause he wasn’t all Indian?” Chris angrily asked. Seeing the doctor nod, he simply said, “That’s so stupid.”

“I agree, but you see, Johnny will probably dealing with more than the effects of the head injury, but with the effects of his childhood again since he is reliving them.”

“Then isn’t that more of a reason to make sure he stays with a family that loves him and will be patient with him as he figures things out?” Chris wondered out loud.

Smiling, Dr. Druthers nodded and acknowledged, “You do have a good point there. I take it you would like to help him learn about that stuff, huh?”

“Yea, I mean, it’d be so cool to teach him about the different sports and stuff. I know it’d take a while, but I remember him teaching me about the best camping and fishing spots, stuff like that. Dad and I would have so much fun teaching him what he taught us about getting off the regular trails and stuff. Dad knows about roughing it a bit from his army days, but I guess not as much as Uncle…I mean Johnny does since he goes off on his own a lot more and picked it up as an adult.”

“It sounds like it. So what else do you enjoy doing besides camping?” Dr. Druthers asked.

“I love sports, especially soccer. I mean, I’ve played basketball and football, but I dunno. There’s something about soccer that’s even better than those. I’m in Scouts too with a bunch of my friends. We do a lot of stuff in the summer and weekends during the school year. I get to go to Indian Guide camp for a week next month. It’ll be a chance to earn some badges I don’t have yet,” Chris announced proudly. By the look in the doctor’s eyes, it seemed he was proud of Chris as well and that made Chris even more relaxed.

 _This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be,_ Chris realized. _At least he’s not making me feel like a dumb kid who doesn’t know anything or whose opinion doesn’t matter. He actually seems to listen to what I say._

“Sounds like you have some of your summer planned out.”

“Actually, mom’s got most of mine and Jenny’s summer planned out. She hates it when we sit around watching TV or doing nothing. I know we were gonna go on a family vacation somewhere, but it’ll have to wait until Johnny’s doing better,” Chris laughed as he said this.

“Did your mom and dad say that?” Dr. Druthers queried.

“No, it’s just me and Jenny don’t want to go anywhere without him. Its, well,” Chris blushed. “It’s just not a family vacation when you don’t have the entire family together.”

“I understand. Can I ask how you feel about this whole situation with Johnny?” the doctor softly asked.

Frowning, Chris looked away before answering, “It stinks. He didn’t do nothing wrong and he got hurt. I know life isn’t fair, but…well, still… I’m scared he won’t get better since that would hurt all of us. I’m worried that people are gonna make us place him in some home. Even though he doesn’t know us, we know him and we would be the best people to take care of him, you know? I know it’d be hard and frustrating and scary and Jenny and I would have to take a back seat to mom and dad’s attention more than usual, but we decided it’s worth it last night. We don’t care if others make fun of us. Both of us have had kids at school make fun of us for having what they call a part-time dad, but we know that mom and dad love us a lot and it’s about the quality of time, not quality, if that makes sense,” Chris paused. “Johnny was the one who taught me and Jenny that. He also taught us that if someone makes fun of us, they aren’t really our friends.”

“It sounds like he taught you a lot,” the doctor said.

“He did and I wanna be here for him” Chris stated firmly.

Nodding, Doctor Druthers expressed his thoughts that had been building up as time went on. “You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.”

“Thanks,” Chris blushed, looking away.

“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about today?”

“Nah.”

 _At least not here, I’d rather ask dad,_ Chris thought.

“Alright then,” the doctor said standing. “I’m glad to have met you and I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

Also standing, Chris followed the doctor to the door and nodded. Following him out, Chris gave Jenny a quick squeeze of her hand as she made her way into the door.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered. “It’s easy.”

“Wait, can you stay with me for a bit?” Jenny asked, too nervous to go in by herself.

“Sure,” Chris said and led the way in the room.

Smiling, Jenny went to sit down as Dr. Druthers shut the door.

“How about we have Chris in here while you tell me about yourself and then, if it’s okay with you, we’ll let him get to his homework while we talk some more, alright?” the doctor began, hoping to make Jenny more comfortable with the session. When she nodded, he asked, “So, I heard you just had a birthday recently, is that right?”

“Yea, it was my tenth birthday,” she answered, grabbing Chris’ hand real quick before letting go.

“Did you have fun?”

Nodding, she gave a smile and explained, “A bunch of my friends were there, along with Johnny and the other guys from the station. When Johnny got back from running an errand for mom, he played tag with us girls. Well, actually, it was more like us against him…”

Hearing Jenny giggle made Karl smile.

“It sounds like a wonderful party.”

“Yea, I even got to help cut my cake this year.”

“Wow, that sounds neat,” Dr. Druthers said, trying to sound impressed.

Seeing the nod, he decided to move along and explain how the sessions would work between them. Using some simpler wording than he had for his parents and after giving some examples, the doctor inquired if she understood.

“I think so,” Jenny slowly said as she looked at Chris. “It’s kinda like when friends make a pact to keep secrets for one another, unless one or more of them is worried about the friend with the secret. If the secret isn’t good, then you need to tell an adult and get help. That’s what you’d do here if something came up. Otherwise, you’ll make sure to try to keep what’s said in here between the two of us, unless you think it’ll help make sure Johnny can come home with us.”

“Exactly,” Doctor Druthers said, proud once again at how quickly the privacy policy was grasped, knowing it was tough at times for even adults to understand. “Why don’t we start this session with something easy, such as what you like to do for fun or the activities you are in after school?”

“Well, I’m signed up this summer for Girl Scout Camp for a week. I think it’s not too long after Chris goes. Right?” she turned and looked at Chris for confirmation. When she got it, she went on. “I also get to be on what I call a swim team, where we get to learn about swimming, swim meets in case we wanna get involved with a real team later on and stuff like that.

Taking a breath, she stopped her leg from bouncing up and down before going on, “I also play volleyball during the beginning of the school year. Sometimes, I’ll try out for a part in a play during the spring too. But only if it’s a good play. Plus, then there are Girl Scouts meetings on weekends during the school year and random times in the summer. I know mom has some day camps set up for me, like the swimming team and drama camp, so that’ll be fun.”

“Sounds like you’re going to be busy,” the doctor said.

“Yea, but I don’t mind. It’s better than sitting around and doing nothing,” Jenny admitted. “Plus, my friends are usually in the same day camps so it makes it even more fun.”

“Is it hard to keep up with your schoolwork with everything going on during the school year?” he asked.

“Not usually and I got to get at least B’s in most of my classes to be able to keep going to my classes. Although, there was a class I was in that I couldn’t make it past a C+ for the life of me. My parents tried helping me out and stuff, even Chris did, but I just couldn’t figure it out. Since I was working so hard, I was allowed to keep going to my different clubs and stuff.”

“Can I ask what you were having trouble with?”

Giggling, Jenny smiled, “I had a ton of trouble with Geography. I couldn’t remember the states and capitals for the life of me it seems. Also, the teacher tried to teach us about the basic of maps, but that didn’t go so well either. Dad said not to worry, that there was a reason he drove the Squad and mom still didn’t do so well with maps. Chris wasn’t any help at all, he said he was still learning and to get back to him.”

Laughing, the doctor was entertained by what he saw as a family project. Chris too was laughing, as he was like his parents and couldn’t figure out directions very well.

“Did Johnny help you out at all?”

“Are you kidding?” Jenny stared at him. “He’s the only one in our family who actually can figure things out. That’s why he tells dad where to go in the Squad. The few times dad has let him drive on vacations, we have ended up lost!”

“I think I don’t want to know what those stories involve,” Dr. Druthers wisely told her.

“You don’t,” Jenny assured him, smiling at him.

 _He doesn’t seem so scary, I don’t know what I was worried about,_ Jenny contemplated. _At least I know why Chris said I had nothing to worry about._

“It seems like Johnny's been involved with your family a lot.”

“Yeah, he’s been with us since I was born basically. He’ll go with us on family trips, he’s babysat Chris and I, helped dad repair stuff around the house, basically if we need him, he’s been there. If Johnny needs us, then we’re there. He even has his own room that also is mom’s sewing room where he stores clothes and stuff. He’s just family,” Jenny summarized.

Sensing that she was getting more comfortable with him and that it was a good place to take a break, Doctor Druthers asked if she minded continuing on with their session without Chris. After a few moments of hesitation, she agreed and Chris left, reassuring his younger sister that everything would be fine, but that he would be just outside if she needed him.

“I just thought that it might be better to talk with you in private as I’d like to know how are you doing with what is going on with Johnny?” the doctor prodded gently.

“I dunno, it’s hard and doesn’t seem real,” she sighed deeply. “It makes me sad cause it’s gotta be so hard on Johnny not to know anyone or really know what’s going on. Then, dad and mom, but especially dad, are having such a hard time dealing with this. I mean, yeah, it’s gonna be hard for everyone, but well…it’s hard to explain. Then, I know Chris and I talked last night a lot and we know we’re gonna have to let mom and dad know they shouldn’t feel guilty if they need to spend more time with Johnny. I know they love us a ton, but they love Uncle Johnny too and I don’t want them to think that we don’t want him around. Both of us do. He’s family.”

“It sounds like you’ve been thinking about this a lot,” Doctor Druthers said. “Have you thought about how it might be having him at home?”

“It’ll be hard and difficult. Probably scary too,” Jenny said thoughtfully. “I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but I overheard mom and dad trying to find a way to tell Johnny about his aunt not wanting him around.”

“Do you have any ideas about that?” he asked curiously.

“Actually, yeah and you can tell mom and dad if you want. And Chris did help me with this idea,” Jenny said as she blushed a bit after stalling a bit. “See, I know she lives outta state. I think they should tell him that she brought him here, but got sick and had to move to a place where it was better for her health. Since she didn’t want to keep moving him around and knew that she couldn’t take care of him, she found us. Then, he got hurt and although he doesn’t remember us, we do remember him.”

“That is actually not a bad idea,” a surprised Doctor Druthers replied. “How’d you two come up with that?”

“Well, I was reading a book a few weeks ago about someone who was adopted after the mom and dad died and that stuck with me. I told Chris about it and we just kinda took it from there, ya know?” Jenny said slowly. “I’m not sure how we figured it all out, we just know we wouldn’t want to be told my family doesn’t want me.”

“You, young lady, have quite a good imagination.”

“Thanks…” Jenny blushed again.

“I do want you to realize something that may be an issue if the group of people involved in Johnny’s care do allow him to go home with his family,” seeing her confusion, he assured her. “By family, I do mean the DeSotos’. Anyway, Johnny was raised on a reservation and he might not be aware of certain things that you would think everyone would have growing up. Things such as running water in the house or electricity. A house that isn’t falling apart. People may have also judged him and treated him badly because he is both white and an Indian. Honestly, at this point, we are not sure, but I need you to understand that.”

“So, he may not trust us because people who are white have hurt him?” Jenny asked, confused at this foreign concept.

“Yes, that may be the case. White people may have only been able to see his Indian half while the Indian people may have only seen his white half. If that was the case, he may have been targeted more than others and hurt more than others.”

“Well, that’s dumb!” Jenny declared. “People can be really blind. I guess if he doesn’t know these things and is scared of us, we’ll just have to show him that we are different from the people he used to be around.”

“I was hoping you would say that, but remember, it may take a long time,” Dr. Druthers warned.

“Don’t worry, between dad and Unc... I mean, Johnny, I got a pretty good stubborn streak.”

“That’ll help,” he smiled. “Do you want to talk about anything else today?”

Thinking about it, Jenny shook her head and replied, “No. I can’t think of anything. But can I ask what we’re going to talk about tomorrow?”

“We’ll talk more about how you are dealing with everything and I thought I would start telling you how Johnny may be affected by his injuries a bit more. Does that sound okay?” he asked, slightly amused by the young girl.

“Sure,” Jenny smiled bashfully. “Sorry, I know I can be too curious sometimes. I can’t seem to help it.”

“It’s okay, in here, it’s more than welcomed.”

Getting up, Dr. Druthers walked her to the door and led her to the waiting room where her mother was reading a book while Chris was finishing up the last of his homework.

“Well, Joanne, I think everything went well today,” Karl told her as the kids packed up their school things. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

“Thank you for everything,” Jo said, shaking his hand. “Roy and I cannot tell you how much we appreciate you doing this for us.”

“Not at all. Have a good day.”

With a wave good-bye from the kids, the three DeSoto’s left the office and made their way downstairs to the ICU waiting room.


	20. Family Meeting...Again!

As Joanne and her two kids rode down the elevator, she cautioned them again about what they would be seeing when they visited Johnny.

“Also, we need to make sure to keep quiet so that we don’t wake up anyone, alright?” she cautioned. “You can talk to him if you’d like, but the doctors have him on some pretty powerful medications which are keeping him asleep, so he might not realize you’re there and he won’t be able to respond. Since it’s getting late, we won’t be able to stay too long, maybe just ten minutes or so, okay?”

Nodding, the DeSoto kids glanced at one another. They had been on the ICU floor a couple of times before when their dad or Johnny had been hurt before, but from what it sounded like, this time was worse than all the others. When the elevator doors opened, Jenny grabbed her mom’s hand, suddenly nervous and a bit scared. Chris too was feeling the same way, and although he wished he was young enough to hold his mom’s hand, he felt like he needed to be more grown-up for Jenny’s sake.

_After all, I am older,_ he reasoned. _I should set a good example for Jen so she doesn’t get scared._

Roy heard a nurse greet his family and went out to meet them part way. Keeping silent, he hung back with Chris and rested his hand on his shoulder for support. When the family reached Johnny’s room, they stopped briefly to take a deep breath.

“Are you two sure you want to see him like this?” Roy asked. “Remember, there are a lot of tubes and wires, as well as monitors around him.”

“We’re sure dad,” Chris said with a bit of a tremor in his voice.

“What about you, Jenny?” Roy asked his youngest.

Shrugging, she answered in a small voice, “I’m kinda scared, but I think I’m more scared not to see him. Does that make sense?”

Squeezing her, Joanne told her, “It makes perfect sense honey. I know you need to see for yourself that he is at least doing fine.”

“And he is doing better. The doctors think in another couple days, they’ll be able to lower the medications that are making him sleep all the time.”

Nodding, the kids began making their way into the room, closely followed by their parents. As soon as they saw him, both Jenny and Chris froze.

_Wow! I didn’t think anyone in real life could actually look like a human lab experiment. I thought that was only in cartoons or on TV shows, but I guess not,_ Chris concluded. Once he got over his initial shock of seeing Johnny hooked up to so many different machines and wrapped up in various bandages, his brain began racing. _I know mom and dad said it looked bad, but I had no idea it was **this** bad. His head looks so swollen and man, his hair! What on earth did they do?_

Jenny on the other hand was ready to cry and could only think, _how is he supposed to deal with everything when he is covered in bruises? His face looks like someone used a bunch of different markers on it and it’s all lumpy! My heart is hurting just looking at him…. How on earth are we going to be able to help him?_

Slowly, Chris and Jenny made their way to the side of the bed with the least amount of wires. Unsure what to say or even if they could touch Johnny without hurting him, they looked to their parents with tears filling their eyes.

Joanne immediately came behind them as Roy went to their side.

“It’s okay to hold his hand,” Jo told them.

“Is he hurting?” Jenny asked, her voice shaky.

“No sweetheart,” Roy assured her. “The doctors are making sure he gets a certain amount of medication every couple hours before it wears off so that he not only stays asleep, but also so that he won’t feel the pain.”

Nodding, Jenny gently gave Johnny’s hand a squeeze.

“Hey, mom, dad, Chris and me, Jenny, are all here,” she told him. “You just feel better soon, ok?”

Unsure what to say, Chris just patted Johnny’s hand. Seeing how distressed the two were getting, Joanne signaled to Roy that they should leave.

“Johnny, we need to get going now, but we’ll be back tomorrow,” Roy told Johnny.

“Bye, Johnny,” Joanne said as she leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead.

Ushering the kids out, the four of them gave Johnny once last glance before leaving the ICU unit. All the way down to the main floor and out to the car, everyone was silent. Even when everyone was in the car, no one spoke a word. Knowing that it wasn’t natural for her two kids to be this silent and still, Jo decided that she had better investigate what was going on in their minds.

“Are you guys doing okay?” she asked, looking back at them via the review mirror.

Slowly, Chris shrugged his shoulders.

“I guess, I mean, I didn’t know it was gonna be that bad, ya know?”

“Are you sure he isn’t hurting? Cause it looks pretty bad,” Jenny suspiciously asked.

“As much as anyone can be certain,” Roy said sighing. “See, even though he is sleeping, there are ways the doctors can tell if someone is in pain. One way is if the heart rate is too fast and another way is if a person is breathing too fast or uneven. Sometimes, someone might have more than one of these things going on.”

Pulling into their driveway, Roy parked the car and turned around to face the kids.

“If the doctors can’t find a reason behind those things, than that would mean the person is likely in pain. When that happens, they can either increase how much pain medication they are giving someone or try a different pain medication. Thankfully, Johnny seems to be doing well with the medications that are being given to him.”

“So, why are they making him sleep for a few days again?” Chris asked. “I mean, I thought you said that he was awake and that he was only going to be kept asleep for a bit after his surgery.”

Sighing, Roy knew his kids probably had even more questions than this and since it was close to six at night, he figured that getting them inside the house would be a good idea.

“How about we talk about this while mom is heating up something someone dropped off while we were out, alright?”

Agreeing, the two kids quickly gathered their school things and waited for their parents to open the house.

“Put your school bags in your rooms!” Joanne called as she heard two distinct thuds coming from the living room as she made her way into the kitchen. “I don’t want them cluttering up the living room.”

“Yes, mom,” came two groans before she could hear the running footsteps through the house.

_Every single school day, I swear I have to tell them the same thing!_ she thought, exasperated. _Just once, it’d be nice of them to remember on their own. Oh, well…maybe someday…_

Once the kids had come back down and Joanne had started dinner in the oven, the family once again gathered in the living room to converse about Johnny, something that was becoming an all too familiar scene in the DeSoto’s household it seemed.

_For once however, these family meetings weren’t met with grumbling or attempts to flee earlier as they typically were,_ Roy speculated. _That alone tells me how important Johnny is to this family. I just hope that we are doing the right thing by everyone._

“So, since we have about 45 minutes before supper,” Jo began. “What questions do you two have?”

As both kids started talking at once, Jo and Roy held up a hand to silence them.

“Alright, I guess that won’t work,” Roy mumbled and then spoke louder. “Your mom and I were going to go over a few things we had talked about with Doctor Druthers, and a few other things. If you two kids want to share what you talked about, you may, but you don’t need to. You’re your mom and I won’t be discussing everything that went on with our sessions with you or even one another. The reason is just because it’s sometimes easier to talk to a stranger about things that you can trust.

“Before we do that though, why don’t I try and explain all the medical equipment Johnny was hooked up to. I know that had to be scary for you. It even bothers me.” Seeing the looks of disbelief, he admitted, “It’s a lot different seeing the equipment hooked up to a stranger verses someone you care about. No matter how many times I’ve seen Johnny in the hospital, it never seems to get easier.”

Nodding their heads, Chris answered, “sounds okay.”

Jenny just looked at her parents and shrugged, still worried and a bit upset over seeing her Uncle Johnny looking so…

_Broken, that’s how he looked. Like he was asleep and peaceful, yet his body knew it was broken,_ she thought.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” Joanne tried to comfort her daughter at the sight of tears welling up in her eyes.

“How though? I mean, I heard from some of my friends that their parents don’t think he’ll ever be like he was again after all this,” she asked with a hint of accusation in her tone.

Sighing, Joanne looked over at Roy. One of the downfalls of having the fire department as a second family meant that many of Chris’ and Jenny’s friends had parents who worked for the department as well. It just was easier that way for all of them, both parents and kids. For the parents, there was no real need to explain why a phone call came at the last minute asking for help with picking up a kid or a project. For the kids, they seemed to gravitate towards the children of other first responders since the kids understood the dangers the world held at a much earlier age than any child should. The support system involved in each of these worlds was wonderful, but at the same time, when it came to situations where an individual was injured, the potential for misinformation-or in this case-the worse possible scenario tended to come to light. No matter how much Jo wanted to protect her children, she knew that it was difficult at best, if not next to impossible.

Roy knew exactly what Joanne was thinking. If there was one thing he could have changed about his job, besides the potential for death or worse, it was the fact that his children grew up well before they should have. The only positive he could see that came from it was that the both of them were more responsible, level-headed individuals than was normal for their generation. Although they weren’t angels by no means and could whine with the best of them when their way or wants weren’t met, whenever a situation popped-up where Chris’ and Jenny’s help was needed, they would usually be more than willing to do so.

_Granted, the help given is only given as long as the scheduled activities they have can be kept,_ Roy thought ruefully.

All in all however, the two kids he and Jo were raising seemed to be on the right track and surrounded themselves with friends both of them thought were good kids. The fact that they were often times kids from other firefighter families or first responder families wasn’t something that could be helped it seemed. They were raised around that atmosphere and it was what they knew.

Taking over for his wife, Roy gripped Jenny’s hand and one of Chris’. Taking a deep breath, he knew that he couldn’t sugarcoat things for his kids and even though they had gone over most of these things already, it was clear both of them needed to hear the information again.

“You’re right Jenny, neither your mom nor I, not even the doctors can promise that Johnny will ever be the same as he was before this accident,” Roy stated, ignoring the surprised look in his two kid’s eyes. “However, as of now, no one is if any long lasting damage was done. It is possible that Johnny may have problems for weeks, months, or the rest of his life. We just don’t know. What I do know though, is that the doctors are going to do their best to try and reduce any effect from the head injury. Your mom and I would like to help as well. Right now, we just aren’t sure what those effects may be and until we are, we can only guess at what type of support Johnny will need, as well as how long it might be needed.

“Some things are known, such as the fact he believes he is a lot younger than he is. Also, Dr. Early did some tests and there are some other things the doctors know to watch out for,” sighing deeply, Roy glanced at Joanne. “The thing is, head injuries are hard to figure out and Johnny did suffer a small set back. His blood pressure got a bit too high, causing the swelling in his brain to increase again.”

Noticing the confused glances, he expounded on that, “See, in Johnny’s case, one of the issues is that the brain is swelling. That was caused by the bleeding at first. The medications Doctor Early had him on should have reduced any swelling that remained, but Johnny had gotten upset. When he got upset, that caused his blood pressure to rise. Since that happened, it started causing more pressure in the brain, which in turn caused the swelling to increase. Based on x-rays and some other tests, Doctor Early believed that if Johnny was sedated, or given medications to sleep, until the swelling was gone, that would either stop or reduce the swelling. Although the swelling didn’t reduce right away, Johnny’s blood pressure did go down once he was given a medication to sleep.

“The swelling isn’t getting any worse and is in fact going down slowly. It’s still not going down as fast as the doctor hoped, but everyone heals at different rates. Right now, the doctors will just continue to monitor the swelling. That will be done mainly through x-rays as the pictures can be compared to previous ones and Doctor Early can tell how much longer Johnny will need to stay on the medication. About once a week or so, Dr. Early will be using a new machine to help with monitoring Johnny’s progress. It’s called a CAT, or CT, scan. It’s basically a machine that takes better pictures than an x-ray machine, but since it will take longer to get the picture developed, it’s easier to use x-rays,” Roy told them, figuring an easier explanation would be best as the CAT Scan concept still baffled him a bit.

“Are you guys following all this so far?” Joanne cut in.

“Yea, mom,” Chris assured her.

“I think so,” Jenny said, less sure.

“We can always explain things again or have someone else help us out if you don’t understand anything,” Jo told her. “I know I don’t always get all this medical gobbly-junk. That’s your father’s field of expertise.”

Giggle, Jenny smiled at her parents while Chris rolled his eyes at his mom’s attempt at being funny. Reassured, Roy continued with the explanation of what all was going on with Johnny.

“I know that all those tubes hooked up to Johnny had to seem scary, but they are all meant to help him heal and also help the doctors or nurses monitor how well he is doing. The metal bolt that you saw attached to Johnny’s head measures the pressure inside his skull. It’s very important to make sure that the pressure doesn’t get too high or more damage could be done to his brain,” Roy disclosed to his children.

Pausing to see how his son and daughter were handling the information, Roy noticed that although they had grown a bit paler, they seemed to be doing fairly well.

_In fact, it seems that they are bracing themselves for more bad news or new horrors. I honestly hope Jo and I were right when we decided to inform them of most everything going on,_ Roy sighed inwardly. _I hate not being able to protect them. I hate that these circumstances are making them grow up just a bit faster than they should. But then again, I don’t really think there is much of a choice here. Considering they are at the age where they are observant enough to know when we are dodging questions, the two of them would just start thinking the worst. Maybe this way is better._

Shaking himself mentally, Roy continued outlining all the medical equipment attached to his best friend and brother.

“The larger tube that is placed here,” Roy said, using his hand to indicate the spot by his collarbone to demonstrate which one he was discussing. “That one is used so that Johnny can receive what is called ‘total parental nutrition’ or TPN for short. This is basically a liquid solution with all the basic nutritional values a person needs to survive, such as vitamins, sugar, fats, and anything else the body might need. With the fact it may be a few days before the doctors allow Johnny to come off the sedatives, this will make sure his body doesn’t starve. The doctors are also thinking that they will keep him on this for a while even after he wakes up until they know he can consume enough calories on his own. Basically, if Johnny can’t keep up with the demands for calories from his body, healing time will more than likely be slower and that isn’t good.

“The IV in his arm is so that he won’t get dehydrated. It also is there as it is a lot easier for the nurses to give Johnny the medication ordered by the doctors as they don’t have to search for a vein each time. The one in his wrist on his other arm, that is so blood work can be taken as needed and again, the nurses won’t need to keep searching for a vein,” pausing again, Roy cleared his throat and looked at his children to see how well they were taking the information. “Is this making sense so far?”

After a brief moment of silence where Chris and Jenny looked at one another, they both responded, “I think so.”

“It’s kinda like the doctors have something in Uncle Johnny’s head,” Jenny began before Joanne gently reminded her to call him Johnny. “Johnny, sorry. But anyway, the thing in his head helps the doctors’ figure out if his brain is in danger. Then he’s getting food through a big IV in his chest.”

Butting in, Chris finished up, “And then, the arm IV’s are either for medications or so that blood can be taken, right?”

“Yep, you two got that right,” Roy smiled a bit, proud of how quickly his kids picked things up.

_I guess all those lessons in first aid really have come in handy_ , Jo thought, pride radiating through her as well.

“I know about the heart machine thing, but why do they have to watch his heart dad? Are they worried about that too?” Jenny asked, biting her lip.

“There is some concern, but that is typical after an injury like Johnny received and with the medications he is on. It is more of a ‘just in case’ type of deal and also, anyone in the ICU is hooked up to a heart monitor. However,” cautioned Roy. “Although the risk of Johnny’s heart being harmed from the medications or something else going wrong seems to be low, medicine is never an exact science, so it is better to be careful.”

“Kinda like prepare for the worst, hope for the best?” Chris asked, having heard that phrase from his dad and mom before.

“Exactly,” Joanne said as she looked at her husband. Seeing his nod, she asked, “Do you guys have any more questions.”

“I dunno,” Chris shrugged.

“Me either. Cause it sounds like we got to wait and see what happens before we know how to help him,” Jenny said.

“Unfortunately, that’s right, but there are some things we can do and are doing,” Jo reminded her two kids. “We can keep seeing Dr. Druthers, figure out how we feel about things, see if we are up for the challenges that might be ahead, things like that. And speaking of that, one of the things Doctor Druthers and I were talking about was that if it was in the best interest of our family and we could take Johnny home, it would be best if we had a schedule placed on the fridge. That way, Johnny would know what is taking place when and by having a detailed outline of the day, it would help him out. Also, he would be treated just as you two kids were treated at age seven for the most part. Johnny would be required to do some chores, although at first, it may not be much and we would likely have to be more lenient until he recovers more.”

“Mom and I might need you both to help pick up some of the slack around here until things are figured out and Johnny is used to being around us more. It will probably be hard for him to trust us at first and until he gets used to a new place as well as people, we don’t want to crowd him with too many new people until we feel he can handle it.

“We promise though that even if we cannot always pick you up or drop you off at one of your activities, we will find someone who is willing to do so. We don’t want you to stop anything that is planned as I know you need to get out and have fun with your friends. Also, no matter what,” Roy looked at one and then the other straight in the eyes. “I and your mom want you to know that we love you so very much. Your happiness will always be a top priority for us.

“Speaking of that, I do want you two to seriously think about maybe taking Uncle Mike and Uncle Hank on their offer of doing activities with them. It won’t be the same as the time you spent with Uncle Johnny, but your dad and I feel that it is important that you do that. We know that there are times when you can’t always talk to us or need someone to help talk to us, especially when we go a bit nuts,” Jo smiled at them as the two of them smirked and rolled their eyes. “I really would like you to try if you think you could. Just think about it for now and maybe talk it over with Dr. Druthers.”

Nodding, Jenny and Chris both shifted uncomfortably.

“Did you find talking with him strange?” Roy asked, trying to keep a smile off his face.

Both kids shrugged, not knowing what to say.

“It’s okay, I’m not always good with talking with shrinks either,” Roy confessed. “It gets easier and trust me when I say, that although some of them should switch careers, Dr. Druthers seems to be good at his job. He was able to help me figure out a lot of things and even though I may not have always liked his advice, rationally, I know it is good advice.”

“What’d he ask you to do dad?” Chris asked.

“Well,” Roy sighed heavily. “Since no one knows how long this situation with Johnny will last, he said it was fine to grieve the loss of who my friend was as I may not get him back. By letting go of who he was, it will help me move on and help Johnny as he is now. It’s going to be difficult though.”

Reaching up, Jenny buried herself in her dad’s arm. Chris hesitated and then did the same, while Joanne just put her arms around her family.

_Well, most of them,_ she thought as the four of them tried to hold back tears. _One of them is missing and without him, I’m not sure how our family could handle it._

Soon, the timer on the oven goes off and slowly, the four DeSoto’s break apart, whipping their eyes.

“Alright, everyone,” Jo says with a tremor in her voice. “Kids, wash up and then please help set the table. Roy, if you could get the drinks out?”

As they ate their late supper, the kids began filling their parents in on what went on in their sessions.

“I actually told Dr. Druthers after a bit about an idea Chris and I came up with to explain to Uncle…I mean Johnny, why he is without family,” Jenny said shyly after telling her parents about how the psychologist wanted to know what activities she liked.

“Oh? What did you guys come up with?” Jo asked.

Quickly explaining the idea that Johnny’s aunt was too sick to take care of him and trusted their family to raise him, Roy and Joanne looked impressed.

“So, is this what I heard you two talking about last night?” Roy accused with a smile on his face.

“Yea,” Chris admitted. “Also, we practiced saying Johnny instead of Uncle Johnny for like an hour. But man! It’s hard.”

“Well, you’ve been calling him Uncle Johnny for most of your life Chris and Jenny has for all her life,” Jo said practically. “It will take a bit to get used to, but for what it’s worth, I think you are doing well.”

“Dr. Druthers also told me about the fact the Johnny was raised on a reservation and might not know about stuff we do,” Chris informed his parents.

“Yea, how are we supposed to know when to tell him how to use something or what something is? And I was told he might have not been treated well, so do we just ignore that or ask about it? Cause I don’t want him to think we don’t care,” Jenny added.

Putting down his fork, Roy sighed.

“Dr. Brackett is going to get some information about Johnny’s background. He will let your mom and I know what he thinks we need to know from that information. Once we learn about that, how about your mom and I tell you two what we think you should know. As far as bringing it up, I wouldn’t bring it up unless he does. And as far as things being different between here and on a reservation, well, honestly, I’m not sure how to handle it,” Roy acknowledged.

“I don’t either,” Jo spoke up. “I think this is one of the things that we will all have to take one day at a time and one thing at a time.”

“Ok,” Chris said.

“I just wish this hadn’t happened,” Jenny said wistfully.

“We all do, sweetie,” Roy said.

Looking around, Jo noticed no one was eating much of anything anymore.

“Alright, why don’t we clean up? You two kids have school tomorrow,” Jo announced.

Without much grumbling, Jenny and Chris started helping to clear the table. Within a few minutes, the table was cleared and leftovers put away. Each of the four people began drifting off in their own directions to prepare for the next day.


	21. Therapy-Day 2

The next session Roy was scheduled to have with Dr. Druthers, he and Joanne decided it would be best to meet together considering the lengthy talk between the two of them and their kids last night as they tucked them into bed. So, after peaking in on and Johnny to see how he was doing, Roy and Joanne made their way up to the eighth floor office. After explaining why they felt it would be easier to at least start out the session together, Karl quickly agreed.

“So, why don’t you two just tell me what was discussed last night and we’ll go from there,” Doctor Druthers suggested once Jo and Roy were situated next to one another on the sofa with him sitting kitty-corner from them.

Glancing at one another, Jo took the lead.

“Well, I’m not sure how receptive or cooperative our kids were with everything yesterday,” she began. “It seems they weren’t real sure of things, not just with how to react around you, but I guess it didn’t really hit them until they saw Johnny how bad things really were. It wasn’t until then that it dawned on them that this wasn’t just a normal type of injury for him and the impact might last longer than usual.”

Nodding, Karl agreed, “It’s hard on kids of any age to fully understand things until they see the effects themselves. It probably wouldn’t fully hit them just what the issues Johnny has to deal with and the impact it will have on everyone until they interact with him more. They likely will continue to think things are just temporary until things are figured out one way or another. You two may have issues with that as well.”

“I think I might be having more issues with the whole accepting things as they are,” Roy admitted hesitantly when he felt his wife squeeze his hand gently. “Medically, it’s one thing to know what’s going on and the possibilities, but…well, it’s still hard, you know?”

“It’s completely understandable,” the doctor reassured him. “And as Joanne pointed out, even though she is struggling a bit, considering all she deals with as a firefighter’s wife, it helps her accept things as they are a bit easier and take things one day at a time. So, what did you tell Chris and Jenny about what they saw?”

“Well, I explained the medical side of things in a way that they could. Or at least, I hope I did. I mentioned to them that they could always ask one of Johnny’s doctors or even you if there were things they didn’t understand or needed more information about that I wasn’t clear on. I also reassured them that I and Joanne would do our best to answer whatever questions they had and find out answers if we didn’t know them,” Roy explained. “I think it was a bit harder than we both expected since a lot of their friends had heard what happened and were asking them questions about they had about Johnny. Supposedly, one of Chris’ friends asked if he was a vegetable or not.”

“I’m a bit surprised at that,” Karl Druthers admitted with slightly wide eyes. “How did so many of their friends find out about what happened and what was taking place with Johnny?”

“A lot of their friends have parents who are firefighters, police officers, or are in the department in some capacity,” Roy told him. “Gossip gets around kinda fast and I’m sure that couples talk about what are going on and of course, the kids overhear even when the parents don’t think they can.”

“Yeah, that can be tough to deal with,” Dr. Druthers acknowledge. “Were you able to give them any guidance to deal with these situations?”

“Well, both Roy and I just said that we knew it might be upsetting to hear what others say. In fact, sometimes, we hear rumors too about Johnny that hurt or upset us, but what we have to do is remember that those rumors are just that-rumors. For Roy and I, we need to listen and focus on what the doctors tell us, not the other people and inform others what is actually is going on to stop the spread of misinformation,” Joanne piped in. “I let Chris and Jenny know that if something upset them too much, to let their teachers know and if needed, to call here and someone would find us. Then, we would listen to what they had heard and answer any and all questions they had, as well as let them know how Johnny was doing. If they could wait until after school, we’d respond to the rumors or what others were telling them. But I guess, we mainly made sure that at any time, they knew they could go to their teachers as we had let them know what was going on and we would be there for them.”

Smiling, Karl was pleased at this. It seemed that both of these two people before him were concerned about their children and made sure that the proper people were informed. The couple also made sure the kids knew they were also available and were they would be if the need to reach them came up.

“I think what you did there was wonderful,” he praised. “The most important thing a parent can do is make sure that their children know that not only they are loved and wanted, but can talk to them at any time. To make sure they know how to reach you is beyond great. It will help provide a sense of security during a time when I’m sure Chris and Jenny are feeling a bit unsure considering the situation.”

“We also let them know that if Johnny came home, we might need them to help out a bit more with chores at first, besides their regular ones that is,” Roy said, blushing a bit and trying to ignore the doctor. “We made sure that if John is allowed to come home, he’d be assigned chores, but at first, it might not be much considering his injuries. However, as he could do more, the chores would be divided up more evenly.”

“I also made sure that they knew there’d be a chore chart on the fridge now to help everyone out and we’d be eating supper at a semi-regular time. It all depends on activities and stuff though,” Joanne laughed a bit. “Sometimes, I just prefer waiting a bit longer until everyone is home so we can eat together. Oh!

“We,” she glanced at Roy. “Made sure that Jenny and Chris knew that none of their activities would be canceled. It’s important to all of us that they keep doing what they love. We just let them know it might be a while before Johnny trusts us enough to allow us to introduce other people into his life and then trust those people. Until he can trust someone other than us, we may have to get help from one of their other uncles if their activities begin or end at the same time.”

“I think we got an eye roll from both of them at that,” Roy smiled. “It’s not an uncommon thing to happen when I’m working, although it’s typically another parent from that activity.”

“Sounds like you four covered a lot,” Karl was impressed.

He had expected that this family desired to do what they could to ensure that John Gage would be allowed home with them, but he had never expected them to work this hard. Even with the kid’s short therapy sessions due to their unease, it seemed as those last night the parents got through to them fairly well and if fact, if he was truthful, did some of his job for him.

Considering how well things went this session and knowing Roy would be joining his crew this evening, Dr. Druthers asked Joanne if there was anything further she felt she wished to discuss, either with or without Roy present.

“I don’t think so,” Joanne said, shaking her head of shoulder length auburn hair. “I guess after last night, talking over things with everyone helped a lot for me. I just feel, well, less alone and more able to handle this, considering Roy is pretty much where I am. I believe I can deal with how the kids are handling things and their emotions.

“Even if Roy isn’t always so good at that part,” Joanne smiled as Roy rolled his eyes. “Well, you’re not! But anyway, he tries and he is able to discuss the medical part. By combining our strengths or whatever you wish to call it, as long as we know what might happen and how to deal with it, we might be okay. I’m not saying we don’t need to talk things over, as I know if we don’t, it’ll just be too stressful, but I think we might be okay.”

Smiling at the two of them, the doctor offered his thoughts, “I have a feeling you’re right on the money Joanne. And as far as what to expect after Johnny wakes up, after visiting New Horizons tomorrow, I’ll have a list of some things you might expect. A few things you might have been told about, some you might now have been, but I figure having a couple of copies to go over with your kids will be a good idea.”

“Thanks,” Roy said, standing up and shaking his hand.

“Yes, thank you Dr. Druthers. Hopefully after the talk last night, they’ll be more comfortable talking over things with you today,” Joanne said.

“Not a problem, and I’ll see you with them in a few hours,” he said smiling as he escorted them out.

Joanne’s prediction about her children being more at ease proved true. Although both kids wanted to attend the same session, it became quickly clear why. Not only was it easier for both of them, but they also had a lot of the same fears that they had discussed.

“See, we both are just scared of what will happen if we slip and call him Uncle Johnny,” Chris began.

“Yea,” Jenny chimed in. “Won’t he be confused and scared?”

“That is a very good question,” Dr. Druthers said with a sigh. “And right now, I can give you a few guess on what may happen, but I can’t tell you for sure since everyone reacts different.”

Looking at his sister and seeing her bite her lip, a sure sign she was nervous and scared, Chris knew he had to take the lead.

“Can you tell us,” he asked quietly, grabbing onto his sister’s hand.

Noticing the subtle movement, Karl smiled inwardly at the show of support.

“The first thing is whether or not Johnny will recognize himself in the mirror. He may see himself as a seven year old child, or he may see himself as you two see him, as someone who is around thirty years old. Either way, since he doesn’t know you, he would be confused why you are calling him uncle. If you are lucky, he might not notice and think you are asking for someone else,” seeing the looking of confusion, he explained. “I say lucky, because if he believes you are talking about him, it may upset him. I don’t want you to worry about that, but it is a possibility. It is even more likely to happen if he sees himself as older than he thinks he is in his mind.

“If he sees himself as older than the seven year old he believes he is, we can help Johnny deal with it,” Doctor Druthers reassured the two children. “I will be talking with him anyway to help him accept things and I would try to find a way to help him deal with that problem as well. As to how I would, I do have to admit that I am not sure yet.”

Seeing their crestfallen faces, he told them, “There is another doctor, one who deals with more cases like Johnny’s than I have ever dealt with that I can always ask for help. I can also ask for help from many different places. This may be a challenge, but trust me, if it happens, I won’t give up, alright?”

Shaking their heads yes, Jenny and Chris looked up at the doctor, seeing his sincerity.

“What other questions do you two have?”

“How do we help him when he comes home?” Jenny asked boldly, not willing to think about the possibility that Johnny wouldn’t be allowed home.

“If he is allowed to go home with his family,” Karl cautioned. “Then you can help by doing what your parents and you two discussed last night. A lot of that will help. You can also help by letting your parents know if you feel like you aren’t getting enough attention from them, if they aren’t listening to you, or making you deal with more than you can handle. If neither one are listening to you, then I’m told you have four other uncles from your dad’s station you can call. Is that right?”

“Yea,” Chris said morosely. “But they’re not the same as Johnny.”

“Unfortunately, no one will ever be able to take the place or be who Johnny was to you, unless Johnny recovers fully,” the doctor told them truthfully.

“What are the chances of that?” Chris asked.

“I’m not sure, as I don’t have the same type of degree as Dr. Early, but from what I understand it, I believe there might be a forty-percent chance he will heal from the bruises and the age regression.”

“So, then he’d be back to normal?” Jenny asked excitedly.

Holding up his hand, Doctor Druthers said sadly, “No, not exactly. In the off chance he does recover from it, he could still develop other problems, such as memory issues. It all depends on where the bruises are, how bad they are and how long they take to heal.”

“Yea, mom and dad said something like that I think,” Chris said. “I guess we didn’t listen.”

“It’s okay,” he reassured them. “Considering everything, I think you two are doing well and are handling things at a level of maturity above your age level.”

“Thanks,” Jenny said shyly, blush.

“You’re welcome,” Karl said when it was obvious Chris was too embarrassed to speak. “Tomorrow, I’ll be giving a list of things that Johnny may be dealing with when he wakes up and as he recovers. I’ll be giving it to them after we all visit New Horizons. Your parents will have a chance to look it over, then go over it with you before meeting with me again. Does that sound good?”

The two of them nodded yes, before Jenny spoke up and asked why they were going there again.

“New Horizons is a new place, just about a year or so old, that is for people with brain injuries or who have mental disorders that don’t allow them to live on their own. It’s different than an institution, as these people are fairly normal, except for the age they act or the difficulties they have. Some, are like Johnny and can’t take care of themselves, who don’t have family that can take care of them, or have too many problems to live in a typical home. Others, have too many memory problems, but are young that they don’t fit into a nursing home and a mental institution isn’t quite right for them either as they still can do some things. Those with mental problems tend to be in the minority. These people tend to have the same issues as the others, but may have occasional outbursts. Typically, many of these people need medication and/or therapy, as well as close supervision, so that is what is available at New Horizons. It’s a bit of a drive, as not many of these centers are around, but considering the resources available there, it is worth it.

“I want you two, as well as your parents and the station 51 crew to see this center and the people in it. I am hoping that Johnny will be able to go home with your family, but if not, I want all of you to know how the center is run, the type of people who run it, the staff and the resources available in the center. I mean, they have a gym, therapy room, private rooms and more. Anyway, I mostly want you to see the other people with brain injuries so you have a clearer picture of what Johnny might be dealing with. Each injury is different, but hopefully, this might prepare you a bit, even if it might be a bit scary. Does that make sense?”

Chris looked at Jenny and saw the terror behind her eyes. Giving her a hug, he whispered that it would be okay. When she calmed down, he released her, but held onto her hand.

“Anything for him,” Jenny said with a quiver in her voice.

“Same,” Chris said as he took a deep breath. “I’ll make sure to take care of Jen.”

Smiling brightly at the two brave siblings willing to go above and beyond what anyone would expect of them, the doctor felt a small ball of tenseness leave his stomach that he didn’t know he had. Karl knew he had his concerned about releasing someone who would need a high-level of care such as Johnny into a family home with two preteens, but after seeing how these two supported one another and were thoughtful, he believed that this family would more than likely be the best place for him.

_Especially if the station 51 crew is as dedicated to one another and their families as I have heard from so many people_ , Karl thought to himself.

Feeling as though this had been an unprecedented successful session, despite the still being hesitant and the caution he felt from the children, he decided to end the session.

“Is there anything you two want to discuss?” Dr. Druthers asked, wrapping up. “It can be with each other or separately if you’d likely.”

“Not me,” Chris said after a minute.

“Me neither,” Jenny said a bit later, shaking her long, blonde hair.

“Alright than, I think your parents planned on taking you to see Johnny, than going home for supper. Then, you dad has an extra session with the crew tonight,” he said, standing and walking to the door.

Grinning, Jenny and Chris both said, “Watch out for the phantom!”

“Who?”

Laughing the two of them exited, leaving a confused doctor behind them, as well as a puzzled mom in the waiting room.

_I’m not even going to ask_ , Jo decided as she herded them out the waiting room.

“We’ll see ya tomorrow, Doctor,” Joanne said, trying not to laugh. “I better get the giggle crew out of here.”

Smiling himself, he waved to the three of them before settling himself in his office to make notes on the most recent session. Yes, this family was definitely one of a kind.


	22. What Now?

While Joanne waited upstairs during Chris’ and Jenny’s appointment with the psychologist, Roy once again found himself trying and failing to read his book. Instead, all he seemed to accomplish was staring at his best friend, hoping and praying.

_I don’t even know what more I should be expecting for though at this point considering how much he’s been improving today,_ Roy reflected. _Dr. Early already pointed out how much his blood pressure has come down. It just seems to be greedy to want or even request for even more improvement when you think of how the intracranial pressure in Johnny’s brain has come down to almost normal levels. I still can’t believe how well he’s doing or the fact that if the ICP stays as it has been, the doctors will further reduce the dexmedetomidine steroid he’s on. They weren’t even expecting to do that until tomorrow, yet they were felt they could reduce it a bit. I know a .25 mg/kg per hour reduction isn’t much, but I’ll take whatever I can get._

Excited by that fact and still deep inside his own thoughts, Roy never noticed Johnny’s slightly abnormal movements.

_I can’t wait until Joanne and the kids get here! It’ll be a relief to be able to tell them that if things keep going how they have been, Johnny will be able to get off the diazepam sometime tomorrow after they cut down on the dexmedetomidine to a solid .02 mg/kg per hour for a couple days and then cut it in half again for another couple of days. But I really shouldn’t get ahead of myself,_ Roy thought angrily thought to himself. _Just because the medications are finally kicking in and working as they should doesn’t mean that things will work out as we all hope._

Again, distracted by his random thoughts that seemed to go from excited and positive before crashing abruptly, Roy never noticed the twitches that were beginning to spread throughout Johnny’s body. As deeply asleep as the diazepam caused him to be, even the pain that he may normally have felt from these bone deep muscle contracts went on noticed by him. Before Roy could glance back at his partner, his wife and kids knocked softly on the door. Squeezing Johnny’s hand briefly, Roy got up and walked out to the door to tell the rest of his family what was taking place.

As soon as they heard the encouraging news, excited squeals came from Jennifer, while Chris let out a loud “Yes!” Joanne just smiled as she had to try hard to contain her own shouts of happiness. The nurses in the ICU just smiled at their reaction, understanding as they too had been glad when the news had been passed around that Johnny was finally starting to rally.

Quickly quieting his family down, Roy began leading his family in, but stopped abruptly at the sight of the slow, seizure like movements coming from Johnny. Unaware why her husband had stopped so quickly, Joanne tried to go around him, but when that failed, chose instead to peer around his side.

Gasping quietly, she hastily spun the kids around and led them out of the doorway.

“Nurse, Johnny needs you now! And Dr. Early needs to be paged quickly!” Joanne informed the nurse who was rushing towards them, alarmed at the atypical behavior being exhibited by the Desoto’s.

Nodding, Nurse Mitchell, John’s nurse for the day shift, headed back to the desk to page Dr. Early. As the page went over the hospital’s speakers, she briskly walked to Johnny’s room to see what was taking place.

_And to think, he was doing so well these last few hours!_ she lamented.

Noticing immediately what Roy had spotted, she moved in to take vital signs.

“I already got them,” Roy informed her. “Blood pressure is 163/105, pulse is 102, respirations are 24. Temperature is…”

Pulling out the thermometer, he read it off, “100.6 degrees.”

“Thanks, Roy,” Nurse Mitchell said gratefully.

“No problem Cathy. I’m not sure what’s going on. I came back in here and well, at first, I thought he might be having a seizure since his whole body was twitching, but now, I’m not sure. It’s calmed down, but…” puzzled, Roy trailed off.

Stepping in, Dr. Early heard what Roy had said. Glancing at the two of them, he reached for the metal clipboard with Johnny’s medical information that Sasha Mitchell still held as she had just finished recording the vital signs. Glancing over at the EKG monitor by the bed, the doctor saw that although the heart rate was still a bit fast, it was only when the muscle spasms seemed to be at their worst that John’s heart rate increased. To him, that would indicate a sign of pain more than anything.

Moving over to check the surgical incisions on Johnny’s scalp, Doctor Early saw that the bandages were clear of any blood or seepage.

“Could you get me some gauze and tape please nurse?” he asked, begin to gently unroll the head wrap.

“Right away,” Sasha said.

Helping Dr. Early lift Johnny’s head, Roy winced at the ugly marks covering his best friend’s head. Knowing that someone he cared about had gone through a dangerous surgery was one thing, but to see the ugly, red, harsh marks still zig-zagging across the hastily shaved scalp was another.

“You okay Roy?” Doctor Early asked, noticing Roy’s slightly paler expression.

“Yea, doc. It’s just, well…”

Smiling gently, he nodded that he understood and went back to examining the surgical incisions for signs of infection. Finding none, he wrapped up his patient’s head again, sighing slightly.

_It’s amazing how much trauma one body can survive and how often we as doctors are challenged,_ he thought. _I just wish that it hadn’t been you my friend pushing the level of our skills as doctors and our level of knowledge. As often as I’ve had to treat you, it’s never gotten easier and this time, it’s so much worse knowing that there is so little that I can do for you or do for those who care about you. I wish I had more answers, but I just don’t and for that, I am so sorry._

Pushing aside what he believed his own selfishness, Doctor Early continued with his exam of Johnny with the help of Nurse Mitchell and Roy. He took his time examining each of the small cuts and abrasions, than applying more of the antibacterial cream to them. As he unwrapped the second degree burn near John’s tailbone, he sighed internally, fearing that this might be infected. Thankfully, he was proven wrong and so he quickly reapply the antibacterial cream before helping the nurse place gauze back over the sight. Dr. Early than did the same after peeling off each gauze that covered cuts that had required stitches on his back, arms, or legs…in total, there were about 15 sites. Through the entire time, the muscles never let up twitch and at times, it seemed as though Johnny was seizing. However, Dr. Early was beginning to suspect based on his observation of his friend and patient just what was occurring.

After listening to Johnny’s lungs and checking his reflexes, Dr. Early looked over the last vital signs, x-ray results, and the EKG monitor.

“So, what is going on, doc?” Roy asked impatiently, as it had been around thirty minutes since the doctor had arrived and begun his seemingly endless exam.

Motioning Roy outside as he didn’t want Johnny to overhear any bad news, just in case it was possible even in his drugged state, Doctor Early led him to the ICU lounge where Joanne and his two kids were waiting anxiously. Sitting down next to them, Roy grabbed a hold of Chris and Joanne’s hand, while Joanne grabbed a hold to Jenny’s.

“First, Joanne, did you explain to Chris and Jennifer what was going on?” the doctor asked. Seeing her nod, he sat down in front of them and began to explain what he believed was taking place.

“Considering all his vital signs are about where they were a few hours ago when we felt the pressure on his brain had gone down enough to reduce the steroid medication a bit, I believe we are seeing a side effect of the swelling that began after his surgery. I believe he is experiencing what is called myoclonus, which is a possible complication after a brain injury. Basically, what happens is that the muscles of the body twitch without warning and it is involuntary. If they twitches, or spasms, are severe, it can be painful, but thankfully, there are ways of treating this,” Doctor Early assured them. “There are medications that can be used to help control this condition if it continues. However, at this point in time, I’d rather not use them since I don’t know if this condition will improve as Johnny improves. It may be even possible that it goes away completely after a while, I just don’t know. It’s unfortunately another wait and see deal.”

The DeSoto family looked at one another, their emotions showing clearly in their eyes. All of them hated the fact that yet another hurdle was presented that Johnny would have to face and once again, no answers about how long it would be before it would get better, or even if it would get better, was available to them.

“So, how do we deal with this right now,” Joanne asked, speaking up for everyone.

“As of tomorrow, if his ICP, or intracranial pressure continues decreasing, it would be at a level considered normal. If that is the case, we’ll reduce the steroid in half to see if the ICP continues to stay within the normal range. If it does for 24 hours, then we’ll begin waking Johnny up. That would mean that the day after tomorrow, he should start waking up and well, honestly, we would have to take things one day at a time,” Dr. Early told them. “I do know that if his ICP holds within the normal range for 24 hours, after two days, we’ll again cut the medication in half. If things stay the same or improve, the medication will likely be discontinued after another two days.

“The goals we as his doctors have is getting Johnny used to the four of you after he is awake and knows where he is enough that he realizes he is in a hospital and had an accident. We also want him to talk things over with Dr. Druthers in hopes that Johnny will be able to express any fears, worries or concerns he has to someone. We also want to have family meetings with the five of you to make sure we find the right place for Johnny,” Dr. Early held up a hand to stop any protests he knew would come at that. “I know all of you want him home with you, but until we know how Johnny is going to react to things, no one can say that it is a for sure thing. There are too many possible problems that could come up considering the level of injury Johnny has sustained. I believe you will learn about those tomorrow. Do you guys have any questions?”

Once again looking at each other, each of the DeSoto’s slowly shook their heads no.

Standing up with the doctor, Roy shook his hand and said, “I probably should call upstairs and see when the crew is coming to see Druthers.”

“Actually, Nurse Mitchell informed me that they have already come and left. I guess that they came a few minutes after Joanne left and well, with everything going on, they left a message in the ICU informing you that they’ll let you know what took place tomorrow after the visit to New Horizons.”

“Oh,” Roy said, eye brows raised in surprise. “I didn’t even notice her saying anything.”

“It’s okay,” Early told him. “She actually just passed on a note, so you wouldn’t have noticed anything. Besides, you were busy anyway, so don’t be so hard on yourselves. Now, why don’t you take the rest of your family home, eat and get some sleep. From what I hear, it’s going to be a busy day tomorrow.”

“Can we at least peek in on Johnny, Doctor Early?” Jenny asked.

“Please?” Chris asked, with a note of pleading in his voice.

Smiling, the doctor relented, “Okay, you four can go in for five minutes, but no more. And remember, you might see Johnny moving around a bit, but right now, its normal. It’s okay to be scared by it, but you don’t need to worry, alright? He is doing very well today.”

Giggling, Jenny told him, “Johnny always moves!”

“True,” Dr. Early said as he escorted them to Johnny’s section of the ICU wing. “I guess his body just found a new way.”

“Yep,” Jenny said as she looked in.

Grabbing onto his sister’s hand, just in case, Chris and Jenny led the way in, followed by their parents. The two siblings told Johnny that they were glad he was getting better and to continue getting better, before bending down to give him a gentle hug.

Surprised at his sons action, who was ‘now too old for hugs’ according to him, Roy just smiled before telling Johnny to behave and that they would stop in sometime tomorrow. Joanne leaned in, brushed what little hair remained from off his forehead and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Bye, sweetie, if you need anything, just let the nurses know and we’ll be here,” she told him as she tucked the blankets around him snugly.

Satisfied for the moment that things were as good as they could hope for, the DeSoto clan, headed out the ICU cubicle, past the smiling Dr. Early.

_I so hope he has no major problems from this injury. That family is his best chance to recover or if not recover, at least live as normal of a life as possible,_ Doctor Early thought as he took exited with one last glance at his friend. _I’m just so glad you have so many friends who are willing to be your family as long as you need them. You are truly one of a kind, Johnny. I just wish that this had never happened to you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Myoclonus may develop in response to infection, head or spinal cord injury, stroke, brain tumors, kidney or liver failure, lipid storage disease, chemical or drug poisoning, or other disorders.
> 
> Myoclonus describes a symptom and not a diagnosis of a disease. It refers to sudden, involuntary jerking of a muscle or group of muscles. Myoclonic jerks may occur alone or in sequence, in a pattern or without pattern. They may occur infrequently or many times each minute. Myoclonus sometimes occurs in response to an external event or when a person attempts to make a movement. The twitching cannot be controlled by the person experiencing it. In its simplest form, myoclonus consists of a muscle twitch followed by relaxation. When more widespread, myoclonus may involve persistent, shock-like contractions in a group of muscles. In some cases, myoclonus begins in one region of the body and spreads to muscles in other areas. More severe cases of myoclonus can distort movement and severely limit a person's ability to eat, talk, or walk. These types of myoclonus may indicate an underlying disorder in the brain or nerves.
> 
> Examples in Healthy Individuals: A hiccup is an example of this type of myoclonus. Other familiar examples of myoclonus are the jerks or "sleep starts" that some people experience while drifting off to sleep. These simple forms of myoclonus occur in normal, healthy persons and cause no difficulties.
> 
> -NINDS (Nations Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/myoclonus/detail_myoclonus.htm)


	23. Breakfast Meeting

Just a week after the accident that had changed the lives of those closest to Johnny, perhaps permanently, the station 51 crew and the DeSoto family gathered at Captain Stanley’s house for breakfast. The group had promised to meet Doctor Druthers at New Horizons at eleven a.m., meaning that they had to leave by ten at the latest to ensure they made it in plenty of time. Figuring that it would be best to take as few vehicles as possible and with the desire to share information they each had been given by the psychologist, they felt a leisurely breakfast would be best. Irene was more than happy to help out, even if she wasn’t invited along with the others to visit the facility.

_I guess with already eight people going, the people at the nursing home or whatever they want to call it now, assumes that is more than enough people,_ she sighed to herself. _I have a feeling that the place isn’t used to so many people coming in just for a tour._

Despite how worn out Joanne was looking, Irene knew that sometimes it might be better to keep busy and at first tried to enlist Joanne’s help. When that failed, she began just chattering about nonsense things, before asking about Johnny. Again, Joanne failed to respond much to that topic and Irene figured when facing a tour of a place where she may be placing a family member, she wouldn’t feel like talking either. Instead of pressing Jo to talk or help, she sent her out with another pot of coffee and directed her to just sit and relax until everything was done. Soon, a buffet of pancakes, French toast, bacon, ham, sausage, eggs, toast, fruit salad and hash browns lined the kitchen table. All the possible condiments that one could want with those items were also present. Satisfied she might just have enough to feed five firemen, two growing children, as well as herself and Joanne, she set down the plates, silverware and napkins as she called everyone to help themselves to breakfast.

“Wow! Thank you hun!” Hank said, giving his wife a kiss.

Smiling at him, she answered, “No problem, I know it’s going to be a long day. The girls made sure to pack some snacks and lunches for everyone that are in the fridge so you won’t have to stop for lunch on the way back. We also got some activities together the kids might enjoy.”

Echoing their thanks, the men allowed the kids and women to go first, before following. Settling back down in the living room where ever they could find room, at first there was silence, save for the noise of silverware on plates and the sounds of eating. When the appetites finally started to be tamed, Hank cleared his throat to get the attention of everyone. Knowing ahead of time that Chris and Jenny could say, he began discussing what the crew had gone over with Doctor Druthers the evening before.

“Dr. Druthers met with the four of us for a bit by ourselves,” he began. “I guess it was to find how we see our roles, the other crew member’s role and Johnny’s role. Personally, in the brief session with me, he asked if I felt responsible at all for what took place.”

“And do you, Cap?” Roy asked looking at him.

Sighing, Hank looked at his men, “You know I feel like we are more than just people who work together well. To me, you guys are more than my friends, you’re my family. I do tend to feel like a father almost, especially when you guys get on my nerves, but I wouldn’t trade you or the job for anything. It took a couple of days, as well as a stern lecture…”

“Actually, a few,” Irene interrupted with a small smile.

“Alright, a few,” Hank grudgingly admitted. “But, as much as I wish I could do things different and as much as I’m sure this incident will bother me for a while, I know in my head I couldn’t do anything different. Our first priority is to the civilian and we all did our job. Unfortunately, things just conspired against John this time.”

“My session was mostly the same,” Mike took over. “I hate being on the sideline, but in the group, they made me realize if it wasn’t for keeping the water pressure, the fire could have spiraled out of control and things could have gotten worse. Like Cap, it’ll take a while to go from my head to my heart.”

“Same here,” Chet said. “But it helped that at least I was able to be there a bit for Johnny. Not much, but some.”

“I felt useless, but I also understood why things had to continue as they were after the explosion. I’ve been talking with my priest a lot, which has helped, as well as my family,” Marco said. “One thing we haven’t heard though is how you are dealing with this Roy.”

Taking a deep breath to hold back the sudden rush of tears that threaten to escape, Roy confessed, “It’s difficult. I keep hearing the sounds and knowing that I can’t go to him because I have two patients who I have to stay by is hard. I remember being desperate to get Brackett on the biophone so I could have permission to go to Johnny. Then, seeing him, well, I’ve seen him in worse situations, but still…

“Him waking up though, I don’t know if I can ever forget the fear I heard in his voice,” Roy said, his voice and body shaking. “I guess right now, I’m just trying to get through things hour by hour. If it wasn’t for all of you in this room, I’m not sure what I’d do.”

Seeing how close their dad was to the edge of breaking down, Chris and Jenny set their plates down and wrapped their arms around him tightly. After a minute, Roy took his hand down from his face and grabbed hold of his two precious children, grateful for the simplest things in life at that moment. Feeling his wife reach over and squeeze his neck, he knew that if there was nothing else to hold onto in this world, these three people would be a reason to keep fighting and to keep hoping for something better, no matter the situation.

Releasing everyone, Roy apologized, “Sorry, I don’t know what that was, it’s just…”

“Sweetie, don’t apologize,” Joanne told him sternly with a look of deep love in her emerald eyes. “I’m right there with you. Heck, I think everyone is.”

A mumble of agreement was heard before Hank cut in, “I hate to move things along considering this, but it is getting closer to the time to leave and well, I know you are curious what we talked about Roy, just as much as we are curious about what kept you.”

Nodding, Roy told about the tremors he at first thought were seizures and the exam Johnny had had to go through. Explaining that Doctor Early found no sign of increase in pressure and in fact, the intracranial pressure had gone down enough that the medication was reduced the previous afternoon, he felt it was a side effect of the brain injury that was just now showing itself.

“It's called myoclonus, which is a fancy way of saying the muscles are spasming. It can occur after a number of things, including brain injuries. Even normal people can experience them I guess, such as when they hiccup,” Roy said as he summarized the information booklet he had gotten before leaving the hospital. “It’s something that might improve, or it might not. It might go away, or it might not.”

“So, we got to wait and see,” Chet said, clearly frustrated as he ran his fingers through his brown curly hair.

“Yea,” Roy sighed, also frustrated.

Getting up to pace, Chet tried explaining what his brain was thinking, “How can you just sit there….so, well, calm Roy? Aren’t you upset or anything?”

“Calm down,” Marco told him, stepping in his path. “You got to remember he was given this information before us, so he’s had a chance to process it.”

Watching their two uncles argue, Jenny and Chris were startled when their mom finally let out a long whistle by placing her fingers between her lips.

“Separate corners you two, now,” Jo demanded, standing up with her hands on her hips. “First of, this is getting us nowhere. Secondly, remember there are two young people in this room. Thirdly…”

“Thirdly,” Hank cut in, seeing her falter for another reason. “Roy has enough to deal with without you two twits behaving like this. This situation is bad enough without you two going at one another, understand?”

“Yes, Captain,” the two said remorsefully.

“I get it guys,” Roy said, attempting to make peace. “I’m just as frustrated as you both and wish that there were clear-cut answers, but there aren’t any right now. So, until we do, we just have to figure out how to stick together. Like I told Chris and Jenny, although Jo and I are more than willing to do what it takes to help Johnny out, if you feel it is too difficult, too stressful, too…whatever, that is fine. We both would understand and not hold it against you if you couldn’t deal and decided that you needed to remove yourself from this situation. We would not place any blame on you at all, no matter what.”

“Speaking from personal experience, this is not unusual when you first get a diagnoses,” Mike spoke up. “If things stay the same for Johnny, things will settle down some, although how much things will settle down depends on his level of function.”

Seeing confused looks from many members of the informal gathering, Mike explained, “Level of function would mean in this case, what age he believes he is, what he is capable of doing for himself, what difficulties he may have from the injury, things like that. The doctors who are in charge of his case would know a lot more, as there will be tests they can run when he is awake and can stay awake for longer time periods I’m sure.”

“I asked Doctor Early,” he shrugged, seeing their looks of amazement. “It’s hard to remember all the questions you have or even know what questions to ask when you are just finding things out. A lot will be discovered after Johnny is released I’m sure, but at least the doctors at Rampart can give you a general idea of what he is and isn’t capable of.”

“Thanks,” Joanne smiled weakly. “You’re right, we never would have thought of that. Not even Dr. Druthers has. I mean, Doctor Brackett is sending out forms trying to find information about his childhood to help us in case this, well, I guess condition is a good term, last longer than we hope. But honestly, we’re clueless. Roy and I want to help Johnny out, but we really don’t want Chris or Jenny to feel neglected or as though we love them any less.”

“Mom!” Chris whined. “We know that despite the fact you’d hafta help out Uncl, I mean Johnny out, it doesn’t mean you love us any less than you do. You’ve explained that fact so many times over the years when dad or he got hurt, or when dad was at work and me and Jenny had an activity at the same time that we get it by now. Besides, we got permission to rat on you and dad if we feel like you’re not listening to us or paying us enough attention to anyone here.”

“That’s right,” Jenny said proudly with a grin on her face. “And we may not get that it’ll be hard, but so what?”

“All of us are willing to help out as long as you need us to,” Hank told the DeSoto’s. “That’s what we told the doc yesterday and all of us meant it. We’re a family and family helps each other out, no matter what.”

“We also talked about ways we can support the kids,” Mike said. “If you don’t mind, I’d love the chance to get to know them better.”

“Same here,” Chet said with what looked like an evil grin.

Wiping away a few random tears, Roy couldn’t help but tease Chet by saying, “Umm, I’m not sure I want the Phantom around my kids. If you do come, I’m doing a pat down and a car search, got it?”

“You are no fun dad!” Chris complained.

“And no offense, but do I gotta hand out with them,” Jenny tried whispering to her mom.

Unsuccessful, the men tried hard to hide their smiles.

“Actually, Jenny, if you’d like, with my daughters being too busy for me all the time, I was hoping that I’d be able to steal you away now again for shopping trips, play some of the board games I got around here, I think you might even persuade me to roller skate again if you try hard enough,” Irene told the girl.

Wide-eyed, Jenny looked at her, “Really Aunt Irene? Are you sure you **_want_** to do all that?”

“Oh, yes, I actually find myself bored around the house a lot now and with Susan going off to college in a few months, the house will be empty. It’ll be fun having someone around to do the girl stuff with again,” she reassured her.

“Cool,” Jenny said with a smile that lit up her face.

Knowing her daughter could be easily distracted and ramble on about what she’d like to do for hours, Joanne stepped in and asked what else was discussed during the therapy session that Roy had missed.

“I think after coming up with ideas on how to help you guys out, despite the promotions coming up for our crew, we just made sure that everyone knew where to go to if they need someone to talk to about things. I believe the doctor was going to have us go to the department psychologist, but felt that considering what we talked about in the group, there wasn’t a need to put that as a requirement. He seems to trust that we will all look out for one another,” Hank summed up. “Speaking of promotions, I know that you were supposed to attend training for being a captain in a couple of weeks. I wasn’t sure what to tell the higher-ups about what your plans were considering everything. They did say that they were willing to work with you and push it back for a bit, although they aren’t sure how long. My guess is however long it would take to go over the training for the engineers.”

“How long would that be?” Roy asked.

“Well, let’s see,” Hank mused out loud. “Captain training is supposed to be 20 days long and you complete that on your days off. That starts on June 1. Engineer training begins July 6th and will be 7 days long. Chief train begins then too, but considering a lot of it is similar to being a captain and the training can continue when the chief is assigned, that doesn’t matter. So, I’d say that the department heads would figure out where to place everyone by mid-July, end of July at the latest.”

“And you think they would be fine with me waiting a bit longer than that to decide? I’d really like to wait until the doctors have a more definite picture of what will take place with Johnny if he is able to come home with us. The current estimated time for the bruising and such to heal in his brain is about three to five months, with a good idea of how things might be around three to four months,” Roy explained. “If Johnny is allowed to come home with us, things go well, the kids are able to handle things and his condition doesn’t change, I might actually take up Dr. Brackett’s offer of training new paramedics.”

Nodding his head, Hank wasn’t too surprised. Being a paramedic trainer would mean being home every weekday, except for when field training wasn’t required. It also meant weekends would be free for family time and summers would have a lighter load than during the school year. Going that route would help Jo out a lot if John stayed seven years.

“I understand, pal. I’ll let the brass know you need some time considering everything. I’m sure we can work something out,” Hank said.

Glancing at his stainless steel watch, he noticed it was nearing ten o’clock.

“Alright, let’s get these dishes put away, clean up the kitchen and get the dishes washed me,” Hank commanded gently.

Used to following orders, all four of his crew, as well as Jenny and Chris, did as he asked. With so much help, chaos soon reigned and fearing for the state of her kitchen, Irene shooed everyone out.

“I appreciate the help, but really, its fine, I can handle it,” she assured them. “Now, you guys and gals need to get going.”

Reaching into the refrigerator, she pulled out the prepared lunches and handed them to Mike and Marco. Pulling two small backpacks full of activity books, pencil colors, a couple of books that the kids would like, and some snacks, Irene handed the appropriate backpack to the right child.

“This one was made for you Jenny, while this one is for you Chris. But,” she warned. “You can’t open them until you get on the road, got it?”

“Yes, Aunt Irene,” came two down casted replies as both Chris and Jenny were eager to see what was inside.

“What do you say to her?” Jo asked.

“Thanks!” Jenny bounced over to give her aunt a hug and a kiss.

“Yea, thanks, this is so cool,” Chris said with a grin.

“You both are very welcome,” Irene smiled back at them, amazed at how well they were dealing with things and just glad that such a simple gift could bring them so much joy.

“Alright, everyone into the bus!” Chet announced, glad he had taken his brother-in-law up on the offer of using his vehicle.

_It may be an older VW Bus, but considering it would sit all eight of them comfortably, it’d be worth any possible babysitting duties his sister would try to stick me with as repayment,_ Chet thought.

Groaning, Marco asked an obvious question, “Please tell us it won’t break down on us so we’ll end up pushing it the rest of the way!”

“No,” Chet said exasperated. “Jeeze, that was one time and a while ago. Besides, this isn’t even mine, it’s my brother-in-law’s and he takes real good car of it, trust me.”

“That’s what we’re worried about,” Hank said with a sigh. “Alright, you heard the man, on the bus!”

Looking up as the group, minus his wife, scrambled to comply, Hank pleaded, _Please, just let us get there in one piece. Without having to push the vehicle. And maybe if you could please make sure this visit goes well and that we’ll never have to visit this place again, that’d be great._

Finished with his prayer, he gave Irene a quick kiss on the lips and promised they would call before they left New Horizons.


	24. Field Trip to New Horizons

As Mike navigated the van into the visitor’s parking lot in front of New Horizons, located just outside of the city of Van Nuys, everyone was eager to abandon the vehicle. Despite the attempts from Cap and Roy, Chet had been growing restless for the last twenty minutes and was starting to try everyone’s patient.

 _Well, at least it’s good practice for the kids to see how they could cope with an annoying little brother,_ Roy thought as he met Joanne’s eyes when he helped her out of the cramped van. _Amazingly enough, they seem almost more immune to his endless chatter than the rest of us._

Smiling up at her husband, Joanne had a feeling what he was thinking. She, on the other hand, was just grateful for the distraction of the activity bags that had been packed. Without them, it would have been a much longer trip.

Looking over the one story brick building, the group of six adults stretched out as they each wondered where to go. There seemed to be no obvious entrance at all to the building and if asked later, everyone was more puzzled by the bizarre layout than anything. Soon, from the right side of the building, two figures emerged.

“Dr. Brackett, what are you doing here?” Roy asked, surprised.

“Well, to be honest, I haven’t seen this facility myself and since Joe promised you guys that he’d watch over Johnny today, I thought I’d take the day off, see it for myself. Just so I know for future reference and to aid in the decision-making process,” Kel Brackett explained. “I hitched a ride with Dr. Druthers here and figured you wouldn’t mind at all.”

“No, not in the least,” Joanne spoke up. “It’ll help to have a familiar face for this I believe.”

“Well,” Karl asked the group after a moment. “Shall we get started? The director is waiting in the main office for us.”

“Lead on,” Hank replied, gesturing for the DeSoto’s to go ahead of them.

Pressing a buzzer on what they were told was a security door, Chet immediately had a question.

“Why do you need that?” he asked, baffled as they entered into a large room. “I mean, from what I see, you got another couple of doors behind that desk and I’m guessing they lock too. What’s with all that?”

“Chet,” Hank mumbled under his breath. “Pipe down you twit and let them explain first.”

One of the individuals waiting in a circle of chairs stood up with his arm extended. Shaking everyone’s hand, he introduced himself.

“My name is Robert Cooper, I run New Horizons and am here at least Monday through Friday during business hours. More if needed, such as if a patient or family member needs me. This gentleman behind the desk is Sam Jackson, he heads security and yes, you are right, we do have a lot of security measures in place here,” Robert admitted. “We have cameras throughout our building, monitoring different areas, but we do uphold patient’s privacy. On the tour, I’ll point out the areas where some of them are. We do this for the safety of the patients, family members who visit, the staff members and anyone who visit, such as yourself.

“We do have locked doors, and there a few reasons behind that. Some of the patients aren’t aware of the danger behind going outside alone and so this makes sure that a staff member is with the patient when they do leave,” pausing, Robert glanced at the children, unsure if he should speak his next words.

 _Considering what I heard from the two doctors, I don’t think this group needs to hear about the friends or unauthorized family members who tried to help a patient escape or even kidnap them in other, similar places. I just wish people knew that these places are so much better than wasting away in a nursing home or living out in the streets. Ever since President Kennedy had signed the Community Mental Health Act and so many people were moved out of institutions into places like this one and group homes, people think they knew what was best for a patient, which is truly frustrating and at times frightening,_ thought Robert.

“Anyway, this is one of the head nurses here, Shelly Albert,” Robert gently swept his hand, palm up to a middle-age nurse with dark brown hair, before pointing out the second of three women. “This is Mary Summers, she coordinates activities here and finally, this is Joseph Emmers. He is the head of the physical rehabilitation side of things.”

Nodding his head at them, the group watched as the three disappeared into the facility.

 _That activities director looks so young, like she just got of college,_ Joanne pondered. _At least she looks like she would be able to handle the energy level of just about anyone, even a healthy John Gage._

“Now, if you all would please take a seat, I’d like to explain a few things before we begin,” Robert asked, sitting after the others had complied. “Any patient you see here, I have to ask you to respect their privacy, meaning please don’t stare at them or talk about them once you leave unless it is because you’re asked to by one of Johnny’s doctors.”

“Dad, why can’t we?” Jenny cut in. “I thought you said we could ask questions.”

“Honey, these are people in here, just like you and me,” Roy explained, turning to his daughter. “You can ask mom or I, even Dr. Druthers questions. What Mr. Cooper is saying is that you shouldn’t talk about the people who live here to your friends.”

“Well, of course not, that’d just be mean,” Jenny said in a huff.

Squeezing her outspoken daughter, Joanne just smiled, while the men tried their best not to laugh.

Moving on, Robert forewarned them of some things they may encounter.

“Some patients may not be able to control what they say, so they may say the same thing repeatedly, or ask the same things. At times, we do have a patient that does have a violent outburst, usually it’s due to a mental illness when their medications aren’t working right. We do have rooms that we will put the patients in until they calm down and are no longer a danger to themselves or others.

“If you hear one of the staff members, who you can identify by their badges,” Robert said holding up his own badge. “Telling other patients to get back to their room and all visitors to report to a common area, I will need you to do so. More than likely, if I’m close at hand, I will try to help. Otherwise, our staff here is fairly good at dealing with these things.”

Seeing the shocked looks on his family and coworkers faces, Roy knew it was up to him to speak up.

“Do any of the other patients get hurt at all?”

“We have had a couple of small instances,” Robert admitted uncomfortably.

“What do you mean by small?” Dr. Brackett asked, folding his hands overs his denim shirt.

“From what the reports have said, mainly bruises and a few cuts,” he said, feeling uncomfortable under the doctor’s scrutiny.

“Anything other than that?” Kel prodded, unsure if it was the full story.

“Not that I can recall,” Robert said.

“Would it be possible to get the incidence reports?”

“Yes of course,” Robert said, relieved that the interrogation was done. “Please keep in mind, what we are striving for is to have a place for those patients who don’t qualify for a group home because they need more medical help and more medical supervision, yet are far too young and don’t need the level of care that a nursing home provides.”

“We understand what the goal of New Horizons is,” Dr. Druthers assured him. “These people are Johnny’s family, so you have to understand that they will naturally be over protective of him.”

Nodding, Robert smiled at him.

“I understand and it is always good to have that support for our patients. Now, how about we start the tour? And Sam,” he asked. “Would you call the office and have them get the reports ready for them?”

“Will do,” Sam replied, reaching the phone as he buzzed the group in.

Over the next hour, the engine crew, Roy, Joanne, Chris, Jenny, Dr. Brackett, along with Dr. Druthers toured the new facility. The first place they saw was what was deemed a common waiting area, for the patients who knew family was coming and were anxious to meet them.

“There really wasn’t a good use for the space anyway,” Robert confessed. “Now, if we turn right, we reach what we call the gym.”

The group walked into what was a huge space, broken down into sections for different types of rehabilitation equipment. Everything from parallel bars to relearn how to walk, to weight machines to mats and tables in order to help individuals recover from injuries. There were quite a number of people there working with the equipment helped along by at least one or more individuals.

“Now this is almost like Ramparts physical therapy department,” Kel murmured, somewhat impressed.

Glad that the tour seemed to be going so well so far, Robert led the group back down the hallway and then took a left.

“Here we have a large common area that also doubles as our dining area,” he said, pointing out the TV area with couches. “About once a month, we have a movie night and every week, we have card games or Bingo, depending on what the activity director has scheduled for that night. And of course, if the residents would like, they can either watch TV or play cards together during their scheduled down time. Meals are prepared three times a day in our kitchen and served at the same time, seven days a week.”

“What about snacks?” Chet asked.

“Yea, if anyone here is like Johnny, they need to eat a lot,” Marco added.

“We have snacks between each meal that we set out by the nurse’s station over there,” Robert said, pointing out the small desk where a nurse sat between the common areas and dining area.

“So are the snacks monitored then?” Mike asked.

“Well, yes,” Robert fumbled with his words. “Some of the patients are on a strict diet or calorie intact, so we have to make sure they stick to it.”

Nodding, Mike remained silent while Chet and Marco tried to express their disgust.

“You twits, hush up,” Hank reminded them. “Think before you speak.”

Throwing up his hands, he mumbled, “Why can’t I ever not be in charge!”

“Sorry Cap,” Roy smiled. “You can take the fireman out of the fire station, but…”

“You can’t take the fireman out of the man,” the engine crew and Joanne finished.

At the looks the others gave her, she said, “What! I’ve been around you guys long enough to know better when I’m fighting a losing battle and if one thing is a losing battle, it’s trying to get you guys to stop doing your job or acting like you do at the station **OFF** the job.

“Don’t worry,” she sweetly said with a smirk. “People still love ya.”

“Or they know to run,” Chris said laughing.

Rolling his eyes, Roy gave up, knowing he was beat.

“Why don’t we go on, cause I somehow get the feeling I might be in trouble,” Roy suggested.

Taking him at his word, Robert showed them a room near the back of the building that overlooked a grassy area.

“Here we hold arts and crafts in the afternoon. Since it’s almost noon, which is our lunch time, our residents will be in either be in their rooms now or downstairs already. We would show you what the rooms are like, but if the patients are in there, we can’t.”

“I was told that you might be able to have us meet with someone who suffered a brain injury,” Doctor Brackett injected.

“Ah, yes, let me go and see about that,” Robert voiced, before he headed to the wide nurses desk that spanned half the hallway.

“Dad, why is this guy tied down like this?” Chris asked with fear in his voice.

Walking down the hallway a bit, followed by the rest of the group, Roy saw what Chris was seeing. Inside a small, completely white and almost windowless room was a bed that appeared to bed bolted in the middle of the floor. With what appeared to be hardly any mattress at all between the man and the box frame, Roy wondered if the only reason for the mattress was so that the wrist, ankle, chest and leg straps would hold an individual down better.

 _By the looks of it however, he wouldn’t be able to do much, even if he could move,_ Roy thought sadly as he peered through the one small window the room held. _God, I hope whatever medications they have him on have made him unaware of what’s taking place. I couldn’t imagine the feeling of being locked inside such a room_.

“What are you people doing?” a harsh voice caused everyone to jump.

“Umm, Chris was worried about this man and I didn’t know what he was talking about, so I uhh, went to see,” Roy hesitantly explained, startled by the harsh look on Robert’s face.

Nodding sharply, Robert said, “Be that as it may, I must remind you not to stare. And as for your request to speak with the individual, it’s not possible at this time. Also, an incident has come up that I have to attend to, so if there are no further questions, I’ll show you out.”

Everyone felt that it was more of a demand than a question at that point and even the doctors didn’t bother complaining. Once outside, the group met by the VW van and breathed a sigh of relief.

“I have to admit, although I found some things better than I expected, there are other things I found troubling,” Dr. Brackett told the group. “At least I have the reports for when other patients were injured.”

“Doctors, please don’t make Johnny go there, it’s scary and icky and not a good place at all,” Jenny said on the verge of tears and sounding younger than she was.

“Why do you say that Jenny?” Dr. Druthers asked, looking around at the other group.

“Those people living there aren’t happy. They look like the robots Chris watches on TV and the nurses don’t smile.”

“Yea, I mean, the smell was bad enough, docs, but Jenny is right,” Marco agreed. “There is just something odd about it. I’m not sure what it is, maybe it’s because I haven’t been to these types of places before, but…”

Roy sighed and spoke up, “Unfortunately, Johnny and I have had runs to institutions and compared to them, this isn’t that bad of a place. Not somewhere I’d want to send anyone as it doesn’t seem that much better, but the sad fact is, it is better. At least they try to help people and get them involved in activities there. It’s not as good as a group home. I just couldn’t imagine Johnny being here.”

“Well, how about I give you guys some research on brain injuries that you can look over and I’ll see everyone on Monday,” Karl Druthers suggested. “It’ll give everyone a chance to read more about what could happen, as well as give the other doctors involved in Johnny’s case a chance to talk with me about everything we’ve discussed so far. Maybe by Monday, I’ll have more of an idea of where things might be headed.

“No promises,” he said as the two kids began to squeal and smiles began to break out. “I just think that it would be a good time to reassess things. A lot would still depend on how Johnny is after he wakes up.”

“Which,” Dr. Brackett told the eager group. “We are hoping to start the process of doing so either later tonight so he might be awake tomorrow. Now, I was told that four of you have shift tomorrow and it’s an hour’s drive back, so I’d suggest it might be best to get going.”

“Yeah, we should find that rest stop we passed not too long before getting off the exit Cap,” Mike said. “We can eat lunch.”

“And I can call Irene,” Hank said. “Alright, everyone, move out!”

On that playful command, the kids piled into far back once again with Chet and Marco just ahead of them. Roy and Joanne got the easier seats this time since they swore they needed some adult time.

Tapping on the window, Kel motioned Hank to roll down his window.

“Do you think you could stop by Sunday sometime after shift? I know that is asking a lot, but it might help us doctors out,” Doctor Brackett asked.

“Should be okay. I’ll ask Irene, but knowing her, she’ll make me,” he said. “I’ll give you a call sometime tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Hank,” Kel said as he let the group drive away.

“I know you said that group was tight Kel, but you never did tell me just how special they were,” Karl said looking at the other doctor as they headed to his car.

Shrugging, Brackett just slid into his seat.

“I honestly am not sure what made that group click. But I can tell you, I have never seen a tighter crew than that bunch.”

Nodding thoughtfully, Doctor Druthers started the engine of his 1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass before exiting New Horizon’s parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On October 31, 1963, President John F. Kennedy signed into law the Community Mental Health Act, also known as the Mental Retardation and Community Mental Health Centers Construction Act of 1963. It’s goal was to move patients out of institutions and provide them with more community based mental health help.


	25. The Meetings of the ER Heads

Arriving in his office Saturday shortly before his shift began, Doctor Brackett was confronted by not only his usual paperwork, but also by a couple stacks of paperwork.  
Sitting down, he wondered out loud, “What the heck is this?”  
“Well, I’m not sure about one of those,” Dixie informed him as she barged into his office. “But one of them is some information about New Horizons I thought you might want to read.”  
“How on earth did you get that information so quickly?” he glared at her.  
“I have my sources,” she stated. “And let’s leave it at that.”  
Grunting, Kel figured she had gone ahead and used his credentials for any potential information on New Horizons that she could find. It wouldn’t be the first time she had done such a thing and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last.  
_Not that it’s a bad thing,_ __he reasoned. _Without her thinking ahead of the rest of us, I have the feeling this ER would fall apart. Not that I would ever mention that to her._ __  
“I also discovered some nurses have quit that facility because they hate the way its run,” Dix went on, ignoring the fact that Kel was riffling through the papers. “I’m told that some of them discovered that the director more or less tells the doctors there what he wants done and since he has, or has had a medical degree, they follow the director’s guidelines. The nurses have also felt as though their jobs are at stake if they don’t do as directed by those above them. The other problem many of them have encountered before quitting is the fact that they were ordered what to put on reports.”  
Raising an eyebrow at her, Kel asked, “Are you sure about that?”  
“Positive,” she said simply. “Unfortunately, because the staff is forced into confidently clauses that won’t allow them to reveal what is taking place, they can’t report it without breaking their contract, even after they leave New Horizons. If the staff does file a report against the place, either about how a patient is treated or how they themselves are treated, then the facility can sue them. Once that happens, no one will want to hire the person.”  
“I don’t get why the staff would sign such a clause then,” Doctor Brackett asked, befuddled.  
“I was able to see a copy of the employment contract. It’s fairly long and complex,” Dixie explained. “Whoever wrote it up was very smart and stuck that part in where it’s difficult to pick it out. Even if you carefully look over everything a few times, you more than likely won’t catch it.”  
“That almost seems, well, illegal.”  
“A few nurses thought so too,” sighed Dixie. “They hired lawyers, but couldn’t get out.”  
“I have to say, I’m surprised word hasn’t gotten around,” Kel said, scanning the documents on New Horizon and the staff.  
“You have to understand something though,” Dix reminded him. “Us nurses are about a dime a dozen. We are easily replaced and so many nurses are too worried about being caught breaking a contract. They know that it will mean it will be a lot harder, if not impossible, to find a new job.”  
“That isn’t right,” Kel huffed.  
“No, it isn’t, but that’s how it is.”  
“And you were right Dix,” Kel announced, pointing something out in the paperwork.  
“What’s that?” Dix moved around to see what Kel had found.  
“Robert, the director of New Horizons, had gone to medical school. Even got a medical license and kept it up for a while. Once he became director at a nursing home about five years ago, he didn’t really keep up with his requirements,” Doctor Brackett let out a noise of disgust. “He barely kept up enough medical hours. Now, it looks like since he has moved to New Horizons, his medical licenses is out date.  
“Yet, on the pamphlet for those consider the facility, it claims he has a licenses so that even though there are on call doctors,” Kel put up invisible quotes. ‘Robert can be the primary doctor for all patients so that families can know their loved ones are getting the best possible medical treatment.’”  
“How disgusting!” Dixie claimed in anger. “How is he getting away with that?”  
“I honestly don’t know,” Kel said. “But I don’t think that’s the worst part.”  
Sitting down on a chair next to his desk, Dixie steeled herself, “What could be worse?”  
“Besides the fact that this facility is less than two years old and smells like it’s been around a decade? Or the fact that the nurses seem to be in control of everything? How about the fact we saw a man there who had to be over-medicated and yet, he was strapped down on a thin mattress. Not just with his hands and ankles restrained either, but there was a strap going across his chest and legs as well.  
“It’s made worse by the fact Joe knows this patient. I guess he saw him about five years after his initial accident and a few years ago. According to him, in the fifteen years or so that this man has had a brain injury, this man has never acted out violently. Joe says he does get a bit hyper at times, as he believes he is a young child, around eleven years old and acts that age, but that’s it,” Kel ranted.  
“I guess even worse was I saw two types of reports, one was labeled ‘Internal Reports’ and another labeled ‘External Reports’. I think they made a mistake because I’m pretty sure I never was meant to see the internal ones,” Kel let out a harsh laugh. “The external ones are fairly standard-the patient was acting out and becoming violent towards self or others and so they had to be taken to the time out room, sedated, or restrained. However, the internal ones show a whole other side.  
“I could match up almost all the internal reports with the outside ones and while some of them were more or less the same, some of them showed a whole different picture. Some reports said that the patient wasn’t focusing on the appropriate task, was hyperactive, wasn’t participating in the planned activity, things like that,” Kel told Dixie. “The last internal report was on the brain injury patient. I guess they sedated him and restrained him because he was ‘too excited’ about having visitors. I saw too many times where the facility just medicated the patient instead of finding other ways of coping with the behavior.”  
“Are you serious?” Dixie’s eyes were filling with tears at the thought of how the people were being treated. “That’s almost down right abusive.”  
“I thought so too. So does Joe and Karl. We’re not sure what to do though. I mean, this place is better than others as it has activities and a place where patients can be rehabilitated. Yet, to be medicated so they are docile? As a physician, I can’t condone that. The director and doctors at New Horizons can argue for it in some cases, but for every single case?” shaking his head sadly, Kel took a deep breath. “There is just no way that is needed for everyone. One thing is for sure, we cannot allow Johnny to go there. We’re still unsure if he can go with his family, but definitely not this place.  
“The only thing I know for sure is that I need to report New Horizons, or at the very least, the director. As good of a concept as it is, no one deserves to be treated that way,” Kel said sternly. “No one. I’m just glad you got this information for me.”  
“No problem. I wasn’t about to let anyone ship Johnny anywhere without knowing everything about it,” Dixie said, smiling. “So what’s in that other stack of papers?”  
“That appears to be the paper work to make Roy and Joanne temporary guardians of Johnny,” Kel peeked through the papers. “I’ll give this to them today when they stop by and let them know about the decisions us doctors made.”  
“Are you sure they’ll know how to fill it out?” Dixie asked skeptically.  
“Nope, I wouldn’t know how either,” Kel said ruthfully. “That’s why I figure while we’re waiting for Johnny to wake up on Monday, they can fill it out here in my office. My lawyer already offered to come here and help them out free of charge once he heard the circumstances. The paperwork that would need to be filled out in case things last can also be filled out Monday, but I’ll hang onto them until we know for sure.  
“It’ll give them something to do while waiting for Johnny to fully wake up and for Joe to run the CT scan anyway.”  
“Sounds good,” Dixie said.  
Sighing, Kel weakly smiled, “I just hope I got the bases covered. I know the DeSoto’s have a lot going on and as much as the crew wants to help right now, it’s going to be hard enough for Johnny to deal with Roy, Joanne, Chris and Jenny.”  
“Speaking of dealing, have you heard anything back about his childhood?”  
“Not yet, but I’m not too surprised,” Kel admitted. “I was told by Roy that his aunt doesn’t really care, so honestly, I’m not expecting anything from her. And considering that from what I’ve learned over the years from Johnny that things work a bit more slowly on the reservation, it might take a while for things to be processed and sent from there.”  
“Ah, the joys of waiting,” Dixie said sarcastically.  
“Yep, but until then, we do have work my lady,” Kel informed her, holding open his office door as they stepped into a semi-peaceful ER.


	26. Goals

Roy and Joanne met up with Doctor Brackett Sunday afternoon as he had requested they do so. Thankfully, it hadn’t been difficult to convince the kids to spend the time with their friends, considering the fact that it was either that or spend the time reviewing the material that would be on their final exams on Tuesday. After making sure each child was dropped off, Roy and Joanne went to Dr. Brackett’s office at Rampart.  
“Thanks for coming by,” Kel said, as he entered the office when his lunch break came up. “I would have come by your house, but my shift today is a bit odd and I got a bunch of paperwork to catch up on.”  
“No problem,” Roy said, understanding how hectic the hospital could get. “We have to admit, we are curious what is going on though. I mean, when we saw Johnny yesterday, Dr. Early let us know that he’d be weaning John off the sedation so that hopefully by noon tomorrow, he’d be awake. That, and the fact that you wanted to see us both without the kids around.”  
“Yes, well, there are some things I found out about New Horizons that I didn’t know if you would like them to know,” Kel said, frowning as he sat behind his desk. “Dixie uncovered a lot of disturbing news about how the place is run and that coupled with what I found out about the director has led me to the decision to report the facility to the medical board.”  
“What?” Joanne was shocked. “But I thought it was a newer place that was supposedly run well!”  
“Yes, well,” Dr. Brackett was clearly uncomfortable. “It turns out we were mistaken. There is no way that I’d ever want to send a patient there, let alone Johnny.”  
Sigh, Roy and Joanne looked at each other. Unsure if he really wanted to know, Roy finally asked what was discovered. The more Kel told the two of them about how much the patients were controlled by medication and how the director claimed to be a doctor, yet wasn’t, along with all the other evidence that was dredged up, shocked them.  
“So, that option is clearly out,” Kel concluded. “However, between Doctor Druthers, Doctor Early and myself, we have come up with what we hope is a better plan. Hank was asked a bunch of questions, mainly by Karl, which I think helped him decide that if John can meet the goals of each of us, the best place for him would be with your family.”  
Seeing their looks of excitement, he held up his hand, “A word of caution though. John has to meet all of them, or we will have to look into other options yet. Joe and I are hopeful that he can, but head injuries are unpredictable. And of course, all four of you will need to continue seeing Dr. Druthers. Although, after you adjust and learn to cope with the situation on your own, you won’t need to see him as often. Of course, that doesn’t mean Karl won’t fit you in anytime you need help or guidance or just someone to talk to even after he feels you are ready to manage on your own.”  
Smiling, Jo and Roy looked at one another, then at Kel across the desk.  
“So, what are these goals then?” Roy asked with excitement coloring his voice.  
“Dr. Early’s guidelines are fairly simple, considering,” Brackett began. “He is going to keep Johnny on the ICU floor until the steroid for the brain swelling has been discontinued for at least 24 to 48 hours. Then, John will be moved to the Neuro Step-Down Unit. During the ICU stay, Joe wants to do some simple evaluations, much like before. He’d like to see what frame of mind Johnny is in, what memories have been lost, things such as that. Joe will be able to tell you more about that as it isn’t my field of expertise. While on the Step-Down Unit, the goal is to get Johnny off the central line and able to take liquids on his own, perhaps some solids. Hopefully, a physical therapist can start working with him to strength his muscles and keep his body moving.  
“Once Johnny is off the central line, done with the antibiotics and has the stitches out, he’ll be moved to a regular room on the orthopedic floor. The antibiotics should only need about another few days, although as you know, once Johnny begins moving, that could change. The stitches should removed in about another week.  
“Although Dr. Druthers will stop by to introduce himself while John is in the ICU, he won’t begin counseling until he is in the Step-Down Unit. Even then, he will take things slowly. Only once Johnny is in a regular room will things become more involved. Karl just doesn’t want to overwhelm him until Joe is sure Johnny is able to handle things a bit better,” Kel said, his face twitching at the thought. “Karl will be forced to have John confront some very uncomfortable facts, such as the date Johnny believes it is verses the actual date or who he is verse who he appears to be in a mirror, things like that.”  
“Why would that be difficult?” Joanne questioned when the doctor trailed off.  
“Well, if Johnny sees himself as a young boy, albeit one with facial hair and a different haircut. That would be confusing to anyone. However, the more likely scenario would be is that Johnny would see a person who is not the age he believes himself to be,” Kel said quietly.  
“And he’d be incredibly scared and confused,” Roy said, equally quiet as his heart broke at the thought.  
“Poor boy,” Jo muttered and then another thought occurred to her. “It also has to mess with his mind when moving doesn’t it? I mean…”  
“Yes, and that is why the physical therapist will likely have to help him relearn some simple things. It hopefully isn’t the fact that he has forgotten them, it’s just the fact that Johnny will have to readjust his way of thinking. For instance, the physical therapist we asked to work with him, Peter Thomson, said that he will find himself missing steps or falling a lot as his legs are longer than he believes they are,” Kel explained. “That’s why Johnny has to get approval from Peter before being released to your care.”  
“And what are your expectations?” Roy curiously asked.  
“Mine is a bit different,” Kel bit back a laugh. “I had Mike in here checking up on John yesterday before you came. He’s worried about you two, as well as the kids and would actually like to talk with you about what it was like growing up with his sister. After hearing about some of it, I honestly think it will help you four grasp the situation a bit better. Mike is more than willing to come to your house tonight or whenever he is off shift.”  
“We were thinking about it,” Joanne confessed. “But Roy wasn’t too sure that it would be a good idea.”  
“Well…” Roy squirmed a bit.  
“He didn’t want to invade Mike’s privacy,” Jo tattled.  
“Well, Mike offered, so you don’t have to worry about that,” Kel pointed out.  
“Alright, I’ll give him a call tonight.”  
“Sounds good,” Brackett said, smiling. “Ah, before I forget, here is the list us docs made up as far as the goals are. I think we covered everything, but again, any questions, let one of us know.”  
Standing up, Roy and Jo thanked Kel.  
“You have no idea how much we appreciate this,” Jo told him.  
“Trust me, I don’t mind,” Dr. Brackett brushed off the compliment. “You guys just remember to take care of each other.”  
“Will do, doc,” Roy said as he took Joanne’s hand in his and walked out the office door.  
There would be a lot to discuss with the kids tonight and hopefully, Mike would be able to provide answers to questions they didn’t even know to ask yet.  
_I’m just glad school is almost done,_ Roy thought with relief. _Even with all the activities going on, it’ll make things simpler. ___


	27. Mike's Sister

Shortly after dinner, Mike came by the DeSoto’s house after Joanne called to see if he could stop by to share his experiences with his sister. He had talked to both Dr. Druthers and Dr. Early about his situation with his sister growing up and both felt he could give a unique insight to what it was like to deal with an adult who acted like a child.

Entering the house, Mike gave a weary smile, nervous about sharing something so personal.

“Thanks for coming, Mike. I know it can’t be easy for you,” Roy stated as he led Mike into the living room where the rest of his family was gathered.

“If it’ll help Johnny, than it’ll be worth it,” was the short reply.

“Hey Uncle Mike!” Chris said.

Jenny smiled and cut to the chase, “Mom and dad said you’re gonna try and help us out by explaining some things.”

“That’s right,” Mike smiled at the girl as he sat in the chair positioned diagonally from where the DeSoto family sat. “See, my sister Julie has something called autism and even though she is 39 years old, a lot of the time, she acts much younger than her age.”

Confused looks came across Chris’ and Jenny’s faces.

“What’s autism?” Chris asked slowly.

Mike looked to Roy, uncertain himself how to explain it himself.

“Well, from what I know autism is a neurological condition, or something that affects the brain. I believe that those with this problem are born with it, although I’m not really sure,” Roy admitted. “Not too much is known right now about what causes autism, but doctors do know that autism affects a lot of things in a person. Autism causes emotional problems, learning problems, and connecting with others. That’s all that I really know about autism truthfully as it was just recently put in our paramedic manuals.”

Nodding, Mike took it from there, “That sounds about right from what I have seen growing up with Julie. Anyway, doctors Early and Druthers thought it would be a good idea for me to share how it is when she acts younger for whatever reason. See, for whatever reason, there are times where things just seem to overwhelm her and she no longer is the adult she actually is. Instead, she becomes a child in almost every sense of the word. Julie will somehow forget about the dangers she should know about, such as watching out for traffic, not tasting chemicals, wandering away from a trusted adult in a store, dressing appropriately for the weather, the list goes on. It can be like having a young child or toddler around the house.

“Our house was set up very unique because of this. We had to keep anything that was potentially dangerous locked up, because she didn’t know better. It’s possible Johnny may not be aware of the dangers of cleaning solutions either,” Mike cautioned. “With the fact that his sleep schedule will be off, John may get up in the middle of the night and not realizing the danger, go outside since it seems being outdoors was such a big part of his life.”

Sighing, Roy ran his hands over his face, “So, how do we keep him safe from himself?”

“What we have done is install locks on the inside of the doors that you need a key to open with,” Mike explained. “It’s a pain to deal with, but it’s better than finding out in the morning that the person is gone and you can’t find them.”

“But what about the windows or patio doors?” Joanne asked. “We can’t exactly install those type of locks on them.”

“Thankfully, there are locks you can install on the base of a window or the side of a window where you would need a key to open them. We only had a patio door in the kitchen and since Julie typically got up to eat in the middle of the night, my parents had to install a door with a lock to the kitchen to keep her out,” Mike sighed, remembering all the hassles he and his brothers had to go through just to move around the house. “It was actually kept locked all the time since she would turn on the oven or burners, but I honestly don’t believe that with Johnny, that’ll be a problem. You will need to teach him more than likely, but once he realizes what can happen and that he should only use it when someone else is around, I think it should be fine.”

“But, won’t he want to turn them on like Julie?” Jenny asked, curious.

“No honey. See, Julie doesn’t always understand that her actions are dangerous. John’s doctors will make sure that he will be able to understand and follow your parents directions before letting him come home with you,” Mike smiled as he answered the question.

“Ahh,” was all Jenny said.

“I know we’re supposed to help watch out for him,” Chris began. “But do you think he will?”

“Well…” Mike took a deep breath. “For Julie, it was hard at times relying on me or my two older brothers since she knew she was the oldest. She wanted to be able to do what we were able to do and when she wasn’t allowed or couldn’t, it would frustrate her. Julie did usually follow our directions when we babysat her when our parents went out, mostly because she didn’t want to get in trouble I think. Now, she is a lot more…accepting of things.

“It may take Johnny a while to get used to be around your family Chris and dealing with everything, especially if he knows his physical, or actual, age is different what he thinks it is. But you just need to be patient with him. I know it’ll be really hard at times though. I would get very frustrated at Julie for different things, like when our family couldn’t do an activity my brothers or I wanted to do because it would cause her to have a temper tantrum. And let me tell you, someone who is an adult, but who is throwing a child-like tantrum is a sight to see. She will scream, cry, throw things, and sometimes things will get broken. Then, there are the times when she ignored me and I was just trying to help her so she wouldn’t get hurt. It was hard too sometimes when my parents had to spend so much time with her or moving through the house since we had to keep so much locked up.

“Thankfully, you two kids have an advantage though,” Mike pointed out when he saw the scared looks on Chris’ and Jenny’s faces. “See, there are a lot more places for you and your family to get help, so your family will still be able to spend quality time together, even with any limitations Johnny has. Things may have to be done differently, but the resources they have today are a lot simpler than they were when I was younger. You two kids also have a lot of people who are going to be here for you and your parents, ready, willing and able to step in whenever asked to do whatever is needed. Even if it is watching Johnny for a bit so you two and your parents can just have a day together or someone to talk to. Just remember that, alright Chris and Jenny? You two are not alone.”

Nodding, Chris and Jenny gave their Uncle Mike a smile.

_Man, I never thought of any of this stuff,_ Chris wondered at the task his family was about to take on. _I wonder how Uncle Mike handled it as a kid. I wonder if I can handle it. Least I won’t be alone. And I definitely don’t want Uncle Johnny…I mean, Johnny…to be some place where we’re not._

Meanwhile, Jenny was debating as well about the changes that would take place and if she could handle them.

_I think I can,_ she thought. _It’ll be a pain, but… I just still couldn’t imagine not being here for him, or rather having him here so we can take care of him._

Knowing their two children were really thinking about how different and difficult life could get with Johnny, Joanne asked, “What do you guys think about all of this after hearing about all Uncle Mike has had to go through? I mean, Johnny may act like his sister in some areas. He might have temper tantrums just like any other young kid, he may find it difficult to adjust to how things are causing his mood to go from happy to sad quickly. Then, Johnny will also be facing physical therapy more than likely to help his mind and body connect right which will be frustrating for him. On top of all of that, he will have to learn how to deal with a lot of things, from it being twenty years later than he believes, to a different environment than he was raised in.”

“On top of that, Johnny will be dealing with the loss of his parents as if it was recent because in his mind, it was,” Roy added. “There sounds like there needs to be changes to our house, and not just in the bedroom Johnny usually is in. It would mean making sure you keep a key on you so you can open the doors and windows at night when Johnny isn’t supervised until we know if he’ll wander off. You’ll also have to make sure Johnny isn’t able to get the key. If it happens, it happens and we will deal with it than. If he asks why we have the locks as we do, we can just tell him that it’s something the doctors recommend until the swelling in his brain goes down.

“We’ll also have to make sure anything that is harmful is kept in the laundry room and locked up. We’ll also need you two to keep things neat. It’s a lot of responsibility and both your mom and I will understand if it’s too much. We both promise we’ll find a good place for him to recover in if it is too much. One that will allow our family to visit as much as possible and that treats him like family.”

“I know it’ll be hard dad, but if the doctors are willing, I wanna have him here,” Chris said. “It’s scary and stuff and well, I don’t know how good I’ll be at everything you ask, but it wouldn’t be fair for him to be punished if I forget to clean up after myself.”

“No, no,” Roy quickly assured him. “I just want you two to try. It sounds as though it might be difficult at first for Johnny to get around so it’ll be easier if things are clean.”

“Whew,” Jenny said as she looked at her brother and smiled back at him. “I’m with Chris. I don’t know how good I’ll be at not calling him Uncle Johnny though, that’s what scares me the most I think.”

“We’ll figure out a way to deal with that,” Joanne assured her daughter. “We can always say, I don’t know…”

“Why not say that he reminds you of an Uncle Johnny you had?” Mike said quietly, unsure if his opinion would be welcomed.

“That’s actually not too bad of an idea,” Roy said. “I know Dr. Druthers wants us to keep things as close to the truth as possible about what happened and such, so I think that’ll work. What do you guys think?”

“That’ll be easy to remember,” Jenny said, relieved.

“Yeah, dad,” Chris agreed. “I can do that.”

“Alright than,” Joanne announced. “Now that we have that solved, I think it’s time for the two youngest to say good night to Uncle Mike. If I remember right, they have a review day before finals.”

Two “Awww, mom’s” were heard before Roy reinforced Jo’s direction.

“Come on, just think, summer is almost here,” Roy reminded them.

Nodding, Chris waved to Mike before heading upstairs while Jenny hugged Mike.

“Thanks for helping,” she whispered in his ear.

“You’re more than welcome,” he told her with a smile as she headed to bed.

As the kids disappeared, Roy smiled at Mike, “Thank you so much for everything. Truth be told, we never would have thought of most of this stuff.”

“No problem,” Mike said. “If you’d like, me and the guys can install the locks and stuff while you’re at the hospital tomorrow.”

“Ahh...” Roy began, embarrassed by how much his friends were doing for him.

Knowing how busy they would be and that Roy’s crew needed to feel as though they were helping, Jo stepped in, “Actually, that’d be great Mike. I have no idea when we’d be able to get to it.”

Mike gave a short nod, “I’ll also make a list of some things you should do, like where chemicals or cleaning solutions might be found. I know you haven’t had to worry about that kind of stuff for quite a while, but when my parents and Julie stop over, I go over a checklist to make sure things are safe for her.”

“Thank you,” Jo gave Mike a hug as her eyes began to water.

“Like I said, it’s not a problem, I’m just glad to help,” he said as he stood up. “I believe Irene has keys so that should be it. I’ll let you guys get some sleep since I heard doc Early is letting Johnny wake up tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.”

“We will,” Roy assured him as he walked Mike to the door. “And let me know how much everything costs, we’ll pay ya back.”

Waving him off, Mike told him not to worry about it as he walked out the door and to his car. Closing the front door, Roy shook his head, amazed at his friends and their willingness to help out with whatever they needed.

“We are really blessed, aren’t we honey?” Joanne whispered as she hugged Roy from behind.

“That we are,” he said as he turned around to give her a kiss.

A moment later, the two broke apart.

“Shall we go make sure the two rascals are in bed?” Roy asked.

“Lead on,” Joanne told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The details about Julie are mostly fact based. One of the issues I have is autism. As a child, I felt no sense of danger and would wander into the road. I am sure if my parents knew about those types of locks, they would have used them (I am not certain they had them in the late 1970's, but I am using my creative liberties to say they did so). I lived on my basic senses-if I was tired, I slept; if I was hungry, I ate-it didn't matter what time of day or night it was. I often frustrated my parents. My temper tantrums (known as meltdowns) were as bad as Julie's were described, if not worse-now I have much more control. I am an adult, but I often find myself struggling to balance between the fact that despite being an adult, I still am often 'childlike'. I have little to no sense/concept of money, time, dates, etc. I have a difficult time managing myself. Despite that, with a lot of help (such as a house cleaner, my mom driving me to appointments and managing meds/appointments, etc.), I live on my own for the most part.  
> The fact "Julie" doesn't sense danger even into adulthood is very possible with autism. Some people with autism get better, others stay the same. Autism depends on a lot of factors.  
> Not much was known about autism in the 1970's. In fact, mothers were often blamed for the condition. Many doctors felt it was best to put the child away in an institute and forget about them. Little hope was given for those with autism. Even when I was diagnosed in 1996, many doctors told my parents that I would never develop mentally beyond a 4th grade level. Behavior problems that stem from autism was blamed on the parents or child (as I know all too well after years of being told I could control the autism behaviors, I just didn't want to).  
> Just a bit about autism, why it's important to me, and how accurate this is to real life.


	28. Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and reviews! It helps me keep writing.

Roy had arrived at Rampart shortly before 7:30 am and now, almost an hour later, was finally almost through reviewing the extensive paperwork with Jerry Fields, the lawyer Dr. Brackets had hired.

"So, basically, every month, Doctor Early and at least one other doctor, possible two, depending on what the judge decides," Roy summarized. "Has to go through a competency exam every month for the next six months. After that, the exam will take place every other month?"

"Up until the first year. Likely, the judge will request a follow up after eighteen months and then again at the two-year mark. After that, unless something changes and is noted by Johnny's doctor, there shouldn't be any more need for follow-ups," Jerry explained patiently.

Before Roy could ask exactly what the guardianship papers gave him and Joanne power over and what type of monitoring, if any, there was, a knock was heard at the door. Assuming it was Joanne who had had to drop the kids off at school and pick up some basic items for the kids summer activities, Roy called out for the person to come in as he stood up. To both his and the lawyer's surprise, both Doctor Brackett and Doctor Early enter.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" Roy asked, panicked.

"Yes and no," Dr. Early told him. "It seems the sedation is wearing off faster than we expected it to and the nurses are reporting that Johnny is starting to become upset. They are unable to calm him down. I'm hoping you can take a break and see what you can do to reassure John that things are fine and explain what is going on."

"I have no problem with that," Jerry quickly stated. "I took today off just in case something like this might happen. Besides, than when Joanne gets here, I can catch her up on what we've already gone through."

Released, Roy thanked him, "I guess we're all set then. Is there anything you need me to watch for when I'm with Johnny or...?"

"I'd really like you just to have him try to rest up a bit more so he is better able to handle the tests I need to run later this afternoon," Joe Early admitted. "But, if you can try to watch out and see how he is processing speech, talking, remembering what was said a short time ago, or anything else you might observe, that would be helpful."

"Alright," Roy nodded his head in the affirmative as the four of them headed to the elevator. "Where should I meet Jerry when Johnny's asleep? I'd really like to be some place close by so I can get back to him quickly if needed."

As they stepped off the elevator, Dr. Brackett told him, "That is why I snuck away from the ER for a bit. Conference Room B is open today, so I'll show him where it is and Dixie already promised to show Joanne to the room when she arrives."

"Thanks," Roy said gratefully as he turned to the ICU portion of the floor.

As he and Doctor Early came closer to the doors, they could hear muffled wounds of chaos inside. When the doors opened, the two of them realized the chaos was coming from the ICU cubicle Johnny was situated in and they rushed over to see what was happening. Once there, they witnessed a nurse trying to gently hold down Johnny's right arm with the IV as another one held the left arm and yet another nurse attempted to put a restraint on the right arm. The more the nurses attempted to hold Johnny down, the more wild he seemed to become.

Instantly, Roy saw what no one else seemed to see. Johnny wasn't fight against everyone for no good reason. No, he was simply terrified. Only a few times had Roy ever seen that look on Johnny's face and it wasn't one he was likely to forget.

_Considering he woke up alone, in a strange place, with so many tubes and wires coming from his body, I can't say I wouldn't be scared out of my mind either. On top of that, he has to deal with the fact that he has no idea where he is or why he is hurting. Probably doesn't get why there is so much noise or why nurses keep doing vital checks on him. I wonder if they even explained that process to him!_ Roy sympathized.

"Let him go," Roy commanded softly as he moved closer to Johnny.

Grasping his left hand, Roy look at the nurse, "All you are doing is making things worse by scaring him. Just leave him be right now."

“Let him try,” Doctor Early told the nurses. “Just be ready to step back in.”

Throwing a grateful look at the doctor, as soon as the nurses moved away, Roy stepped in even closer and began trying to soothe Johnny.

“Hey, look at me Johnny. Just try and focus just on me. Take a deep breathe in and let it out slowly,” Roy demonstrated when he had John’s attention. “That’s it, keep going. I know you are scared. I know you don’t know what is going on. I’ll tell you just as soon as you calm down a bit more, okay?”

Seeing that Roy was finally getting things under control, Doctor Early motioned to the nurses to leave and on the way out, asked them to just let Roy handle things for now.

“I think everything was just overwhelming Johnny too much and with so many strangers around, that wasn’t helping either,” Early explained as they left. “Roy, just buzz if you need anything.”

Nodding, Roy continued to focus on helping Johnny regulate his breathing as the doctor and nurses left. A few minutes late, John finally was able to calm down enough that Roy was no longer worried he’d pass out from hyperventilating.

“Good job!” Roy praised before asking cautiously, “Do you remember who I am? If not, it’s okay.”

A puzzled look came over Johnny’s face.

_Seen him before. Where? Not sure. Fire or doctor or… Wait, what did he want again?_ John began panicking again when he realized how mixed up his thoughts were and that he couldn’t remember what was asked just a minute or so ago.

“It’s alright, don’t worry,” Roy quickly assured him. “You’ve been through a lot. It’s fine that you don’t remember me.”

_Oh!_ John’s face suddenly lit up when he realized what the man had wanted to know before. _I remember._

“What is it?” Roy curiously asked.

“Member you,” John said slowly and quietly.

“You do?” Roy asked, excited.

“Clinic. You take me here, wife,” John disjointedly said.

Rushing with his words, the excitement Roy felt spilled over, “That’s great! It’s a good sign that you can remember all of that. Hopefully as you get better, you’ll…”

Stopping at the frightened and confused look John was giving him, Roy trailed off, “I’m sorry.”

“Too much,” Johnny tried explaining.

“I was talking too fast? And I was talking about too many subjects?” Roy asked slowly.

Nodding, Johnny yawned and gasped.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Roy soothed. “You have a lot of wounds on different parts of your body.”

Confused about why he had them, but unable to figure out how to ask, John just looked towards Roy.

_Not able to know words, tell me, clear up why,_ Johnny pleaded in his head, frustrated to feel as though his mind was trying to think while being encased in mud.

“Do you want to know what happened? Why you are hurting now?” asked Roy, reading the desperation on Johnny’s face.

Nodding, John groaned as it set off a round of nauseous and increased the thumping inside his head.

“Don’t worry, you can’t get sick,” Roy assured him. “The doctors have a tube going in your nose that makes sure that it doesn’t happen. I know it’s not fun and itches, but it’s better than getting sick.”

Sighing, John leaned back on the bed and waited for Roy to begin explaining. Starting with the shortened version of being caught in a fire that caused him to be thrown a bit, Roy then moved on to let John know the various injuries that were caused by that. Once he went through that, Roy pointed out each tube and what it was for, hoping that at some level Johnny was understanding it. Considering how he looked however, Roy figured that most of the information was going over his head.

“The most important thing to remember,” Roy emphasized. “Is that the doctors have you hooked up to all these tubes to make sure you are doing okay. The nurses will be checking up on you a lot, so they and the doctors know you are getting better. If you don’t understand something, or you are scared or worried, you can always ask someone.

“My wife, Joanne or Jo for short, as well as I will be here as much as we can as well to help you out in whatever way you can. If you ever want us to be here and we are not, just tell someone and they can call us. Does this make sense?”

Johnny’s eyes darted around the room as he thought about the massive amount of information he was given. Roy knew it would be a lot for anyone to handle, let alone a child or someone with a brain injury. For someone who essentially was a child with a brain injury, Roy wasn’t sure how much Johnny could process, but he had to try.

“Confuse,” John finally said.

“I know,” Roy stated. “Just try to remember you are here to get better and that everyone here wants to help you get better. Can you try to remember that?”

_Get better with help,_ John thought. _Why would they?_

“Why?”

“Why what?” Roy asked, surprised at the sudden question.

“Why help?” John sounded out the words.

“A lot of people here know you and care about you. They want to help wherever they can. Those who don’t know you want to help because it is their job and they have the job they do because they care about people,” Roy explained.

“But…” John hesitated, unsure how to say what was in his brain. “I am half-breed. No good, not equal…”

Interrupting him, Roy said a bit harshly, “That doesn’t matter to anyone here. I hope that you can trust me enough to know that I speak that truth.”

_Not sure why, but do trust. Kind, care, holding hand yet. Explain things good,_ Johnny debated with himself whether or not to trust this man.

“Ok, I trust, but what’s your name,” Johnny asked, coming to a conclusion.

“It’s Roy,” he said smiling, while feeling horrible for not reintroducing himself. “And remember, ask me anything anytime you need to.”

“‘K,” John said through a yawn.

“Now, why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll stay until you fall asleep and try to be here when you wake up,” Roy promised as he pulled the covers up to John’s chin.

Nodding, John allowed his eyes to close fully and within minutes, was fast asleep.

As Roy left his room, he couldn’t help but think how young Johnny looked and the need to protect Johnny rose up within him.


	29. Awake

Thirty minutes after Joanne and Roy had finished up the required paperwork to have temporary guardianship over Johnny, they sat quietly making lists of items that would need to be taken care of, as well as what they were worried about.

“I know Jenny doesn’t fully understand what’s going on yet and when it hits her, it’ll hit her hard,” Joanne explained as she wrote down that concern. “I really don’t know what we can do beforehand though. Dr. Druthers has said we just need to take things one day at a time.”

“I know,” Roy sighed. “Chris seems to understand a bit better after a visit to the New Horizon institute. I don’t know how well he has been sleeping since then, but he doesn’t really want to talk about it with me.”

“Nor with me,” Joanne admitted. “But then again, he is his father’s son.”

Smiling grimly, Roy knew she had a point, “Hopefully in the next couple days they will be able to visit again.”

“How are you holding up?” Joanne looked at her husband.

With all the craziness surrounding the accident, the end of the school year activities and making sure everything was lined up for the summer, not to mention all the paperwork and hoops the family had to deal with in hopes of bring Johnny home eventually, she and Roy often didn’t have much time to talk lately. Usually, they would spend time before falling asleep catching up, but both of them were so tired that even with the best of intentions, they just fell asleep before they could catch up.

Shrugging, Roy looked away before answering, “I’m not really sure. It doesn’t seem too real yet. I hate not knowing what’ll happen for sure. All this waiting around for answers is hard. I wonder I guess if asking you to take on the responsibility of caring for Johnny is too much or unfair to you and the kids.”

“Honey,” she reminded him gently. “You didn’t ask, I offered. And so did the kids. He’s been part of our family for so long, we’d be missing a piece if he wasn’t around. Yes, I know it’s going to be hard, but I know Jenny said that if she didn’t at least try, she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself. I mean, think about it. There has never been a point in her life where Johnny hasn’t been around. Chris probably doesn’t remember a time either.

“As for me, yes, it’s scary, the idea of not knowing what he might be facing or the issues we as a family might be facing taking on such a huge responsibility. But, I think we just got to keep talking to each other and keep speaking to someone like Doctor Druthers. Having an outside source seems to be helping. Plus, there are so many people willing to help out from your crew, not to mention their spouses and families.”

“She’s right, you know Roy,” Karl Druthers spoke up from where he had been listening in from the doorway. “I’m sorry for eavesdropping, but well, I really don’t have a good excuse other than I wanted to see how you two were doing and would work this out. I can see you’re feeling guilty, but you shouldn’t. From what I’ve gathered from everyone, and not just in your family, but also Station 51’s family, people are willing to try. That says a lot about who Johnny is as a person and who you’re family is. It tells me that people honestly believe your family may be the best place for Johnny if he is able to be in a home environment.”

Seeing their hopeful looks, he smiled, “Yes, I am beginning to believe your family is the best place, but as you two said, there are still things we need to work on. Plus, I need to talk with Johnny, as well as his doctors and medical team. I want you two to start working on dealing with the possibility that even if things go as you hope, if Johnny doesn’t do well being home with you, that you don’t let guilt or any other negative thoughts eat you up. For now, I’ll let you just think on those things and let you focus on John for right now since he appears to be waking up.”

With a smile and a nod, Karl left the couple to reassure Johnny as he began trying to move and started groaning in pain again.

“Johnny, shhh, it’s okay,” Joanne soothed, looking worried when Johnny failed to respond. “Do you want me to call a nurse in?”

“Not yet, he just had his meds recently, so he’s probably just trying to wake-up,” Roy decided after a moment. “Keep the call button in hand though.”

Focusing on Johnny, Roy called to him softly, “Johnny, time to wake. Come on, everything’s okay. Just open your eyes.”

Slowly, over the course of a few minutes, Johnny’s eyes began trying to open.

“That’s it. Thatta boy,” Roy encouraged. “Keep trying.”

_Owww, too loud,_ John thought. _Where here? Who’s that? Owww…let me sleep. Hurts. Stuck in mud._

Despite his desire to just close out the world, Roy kept on and after about five minutes, Johnny finally opened his eyes completely.

“There you go,” Roy smiled at him. “How are you feeling?”

Processing what was said, it took a minute or so before Johnny answered in a small, crackly voice, “Hurts.”

“I’m sure it does,” Joanne said sympathetically.

“Are you able to stay awake a bit?” Roy asked.

Trying to sort out the two sentences left him confused and seeing the confusion, Roy asked again more slowly, “Do you think you can stay awake?”

Nodding, Johnny felt tears come to his eyes at the severe pain that stab at him.

“Try not to move, you got banged up pretty good,” suggested Roy.

Eyes widening, Johnny began looking around and noticed for the first time that he was in a white room filled with a lot of things he didn’t recognize.

_What’s going on? Strings everywhere, so many noises. What happened? he thought as he began to panic._

“Press the button,” Roy whispered as he settled his hand on Johnny’s arm. “It’s okay. I know it’s scary, but you are okay.”

Trying to comfort him like he would a child, Roy let Joanne explain to the nurse what was taking place.

“You just hit your head and a few other places, that’s why you are in pain,” Roy said slowly, trying to gauge if Johnny understood him or not.

Coming back in the cubicle, Jo took his hand and said, “I know it’s scary, but all the things here are to help the doctors and nurses know how you are doing. Okay?”

“‘K,” Johnny replied, grasping onto Joanne’s hand as tight as he could.

“Just breathe slowly,” Joanne coached. “In…out. In…out. In…out. In…out. There, is that better?”

“Yes,” John said, still overwhelmed and scared.

“The doctor will be here soon and help tell you what is going on,” Roy said.

“I wanna go home,” Johnny voice began breaking again as he fought the urge to cry.

“Honey, you can’t right now,” Joanne apologized softly, her heart breaking. “You are too sick right now.”

Looking up, both Roy and Jo were relieved to see Doctor Early enter.

“This is Doctor Early,” Roy introduced Johnny to him. “He helped to take care of you when you first got sick. Do you remember?”

“No,” John said with his voice quivering.

“That’s okay,” Dr. Early assured him as he sat on the opposite side of the bed. “If it’s okay, I’d like to ask you some questions.”

“Why?”

“It will help me know how you are doing. You can ask me anything you would like after I’m done,” he offered.

Thinking about it, John nodded carefully.

“Thank you,” Joe said smiling. “Can you tell me your full name?”

“John Roderick Gage.”

“Do you know you’re date of birth?”

“Yes,” John said, looking confused.

Smiling, Early asked, “Can you tell me what it is?”

“August 28, 194,” he paused, squinting his eyes as he thought hard. “1949?”

“That’s right, good job,” Dr. Early praised. “Now, can you tell me how old you are?”

“Seven,” Johnny tried to hold up seven fingers, but found himself tangled in various wires. “Let me go!”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Joanne soothed, trying to calm him down before he became too scared. “Remember, all these wires are to help the doctors to know how you are doing.”

It took a couple more minutes, but between Roy holding onto Johnny’s hand and Jo stroking his forehead, John soon calmed down. Watching them, Dr. Early just sat back and observed what was taking place before adding some notes to his notebook.

“You okay now?” he kindly asked after Johnny settled down.

“Yes, sir,” John stuttered as he blushed.

“It’s okay, this can be a very scary place,” Joe assured him. “I think you are doing very well.”

Seeing Johnny yawn, he questioned, “Can you answer a few more things for me?”

Shrugging his shoulders a bit, Johnny said, “I don’t know.”

“Alright, how about I just ask and we’ll see if you can, okay?” Dr. Early smiled. “Can you tell me what this is?”

Looking at the pen in front of him, Johnny frowned. It looked kind of like a pencil, but not quite.

“A pencil?” he guessed, his voice giving away that he knew that it wasn’t right.

“Close, it’s a pen,” Dr. Early said.

Pausing, Joe had a though and asked, “Have you ever seen a pen?”

“Dad told me ‘bout them,” Johnny said. “I miss ma and dad.”

“Do you know where they are?” Roy asked him when he saw Dr. Early look towards him.

“In the sky with Dawn,” Johnny sadly told him.

“Who’s Dawn?” Joanne gently questioned.

“Small girl…” tears ran down his face as he told them this.

“Was she your sister?” Joanne wondered.

“She came from mom,” John looked confused and offered that information.

_Leave me ‘lone. Tired, hurt. Missing ma and dad. Hate questions…_ John was thinking so hard that he missed part of the next question Dr. Early had for him.

“…dog, house.”

“Huh?” John looked confused.

“Can you remember these words-tree, dog, house?” Dr. Early said patiently, knowing how tired Johnny was getting.

_I wish I could just let him rest, but I need to do this evaluation now. If I don’t, I won’t have a guide as to how he is improving or have a clue as to what services he will need to help him,_ Joe reminded himself as he fought feelings of guilt and sadness at what he was putting his young friend through. _At least the hardest part is almost over for right now._

After a couple minutes, Doctor Early asked John to repeat back the words he asked him to remember. Slowly, Johnny tried repeating them, but he could only remember the word house and instead of saying dog, said cat instead.

Showing no signs that anything was amiss, Joe told him, “That was great. I just have a couple more questions, okay?”

Sighing heavily, Johnny acknowledged it.

_No choice. Never any choice,_ he thought sadly. _Wanna go home. But where is home? Not here…place here weird, too sunny, odd look._

Refocusing, Johnny tried concentrating on Doctor Early, but was finding it more and more difficult considering how exhausted he felt. Trying his best however, he attempted to touch his right finger to his nose, then his left finger to his nose. After that, Joe had him follow his finger as he held his head still. At the request of the doctor, he lifted first his left hand, than his right, followed by his right leg. Thinking the next step would be lifting his left leg, Johnny tried moving it and found he could.

Frightening, he began hyperventilating, fearing the worst.

“John, what’s wrong,” Roy quickly asked as he was the first to notice the change in breathing pattern.

Unable to understand what was being said, Johnny just looked towards him, eyes wide.

“Slow your breathing down,” Roy said much more slowly. “Just breathe in slowly and hold it, now let it out slowly. Now, breath in slowly, hold it. Now, slowly let it out. There you go, that’s good.”

Finally able to start to be able to breathe better, Johnny gasped out, “Leg?”

“Leg?” Jo asked, puzzled. “Both your legs are fine sweetie. There is nothing to worry about.”

More insistent this time, John again gasped out, “Leg!”

Catching onto what Johnny may be thinking, Roy assured him, “Your one leg is in a cast. That is why you cannot move it.”

“Huh,” Johnny was even more confused and tired after spending all the extra energy catching his breath.

“You broke your ankle when you got hurt,” Doctor Early informed him. “We put what is called a cast on your foot up to your knee so that you can’t move your ankle. By doing this, it gives your ankle a chance to heal the right way.”

Nodding, Johnny collapsed further on the bed, looked relieved.

“You also have some stitches across your back,” Joe went on. “They closed up a big cut you had there. Also, your back may hurt because you have some burns.”

Trying to figure everything out, Johnny didn’t know what to say other than, “Why?”

“You got hurt in an accident. Something exploded and you were in the way and got hurt,” Roy simply explained.

Sighing, John’s eyes began to close without permission.

Patting him on the shoulder, Dr. Early told him, “Go ahead and sleep, I just need to test your reflexes right now. It shouldn’t hurt and wouldn’t take very long. I also need to check out some other things, but I am going to give you a medication to help you rest so I don’t think you will know about any of this. When you wake up again, we can finish up, okay?”

“‘K,” Johnny breathed out, just glad he could sleep.

Nodding to the nurse standing in the doorway, Joe waited until the medication she injected into the IV port was working to continue his exam.

“Why don’t you two go on downstairs and grab a bite to eat while you can?” he suggested. “Johnny should sleep for at least an hour and someone will page you if needed.”

Looking towards Joanne, Roy nodded as he ran his hands through his hair, “Alright doc, thanks.”

“No problem, now get,” he said affectionately as he smiled.

Leaving the room, Roy and Jo headed towards the elevator and once inside, leaned on one of the walls.

“Man, I can’t believe I never knew he had a younger sister,” Roy said.

“It might have been too painful,” Jo pointed out as they got off the elevator and headed towards the cafeteria. “Besides, you said yourself, Johnny doesn’t like talking about his past too much and honestly, from what little we know, I can’t blame him.”

Taking a tray, Roy nodded, “I know.”

“Why don’t we just eat and relax though right now,” Jo wisely pointed out. “We won’t have many breaks, so we might as well take them as we get them.”

Nodding, the two of the started heading towards a table when they heard over the loud speaker: **ICU CODE BLUE ICU 5, CODE BLUE ICU 5**

Freezing, Joanne looked towards Roy, pleading desperately, “Tell me that isn’t Johnny’s room.”

Swallowing heavily, Roy was unable to meet her gaze and failed to speak.

“Roy!” Jo spoke sharply. “Just tell me!”

Still unable to speak past the lump in his throat, Roy just nodded while hastily setting down their tray on the nearest table. Grabbing her hand, he began pulling her towards the elevator, terrified that by the time the two of them got there, it would be too late.

_Too late for what though?_ Roy wondered. _What on earth could have happened in the last twenty minutes to change things so much?_

Trying to keep up with the brisk pace Roy set, Joanne was relieved when she spotted the elevators.

_Thank God,_ she thought in relief. _Please, please, let everything be okay. I don’t know how much any of us can take._

Stepping into the crowded elevator, the two of them held onto one another even tighter, unable to find the words to comfort one another or a way to calm the impatience each felt. All they wanted was to know what had happened, but the fates seemed to conspire against them as people got on and off each floor, making the short trip to the ICU floor seem longer than it had ever seemed before.


	30. Trouble in the ICU

Finally, the couple reached the ICU floor and they tried to hurry to see what was taking place, but a nurse stopped them before they could enter.  
“We need to know what is going on!” Roy demanded, more upset at seeing a large number of people inside Johnny’s cubicle.  
“You will. But, right now the doctors and nurses are working on John, so you will have to be patient. Now, why don’t you and your wife sit on the chairs while you wait? One of the doctors will be out as soon as they can,” she told them in a gentle, yet firm voice.  
Running his hands through his hair, Roy let Joanne guide him to the chairs that filled the pale cream colored space filled with hard gray chairs and a few sofas scattered around. Just as they were about to sit, Dr. Early came out.  
“Doc, what happened?” Roy asked in a rush.  
Holding up a hand, Joe motioned them to take a seat before answering, “He had a seizure and unfortunately, it lasted around six minutes before we were able to stop it.”  
“What? Why?” Joanne asked, horrified.  
“It’s not uncommon with head injuries, especially ones this severe and we were watching out for the possibility. Why it is happening now and why it didn’t happen sooner, I can’t even hazard a guess. It could be that the myoclonus is not as benign as we thought and could be what is called cortical reflex myoclonus. That is a type of epilepsy that takes place and originates in the information processing center of the brain. Since that part of the brain is damaged in Johnny that is one possibility we do have to consider.”  
Seeing the horrified looks, Doctor Early tried to assure them, “I am running an EEG to see what is going on. It may not be this condition, but if it is, there are medications we can use to help control it. If I had to guess however, considering the time between when the first muscle twitches that indicated myoclonus was taking place and this seizure, I think it is a good possibility that the seizure is due to something other than cortical reflex myoclonus. Despite seizures being uncommon after a head injury, it isn’t unheard of either.”  
“Well, Johnny doesn’t exactly like listening to the rules all the time,” Roy huffed out with a small smile.  
Smiling as well, Joe agreed, “No, he doesn’t.”  
“So what if this seizure is due to the head injury?” Joanne asked. “Will it happen again? If it does, what do we do? How long will they happen?”  
Sighing, Doctor Early told them truthfully, “Honestly, if the seizure is due to the brain injury, it could keep happening. It all depends on what caused the seizure in the first place and it could take a while for us to figure that out, even after getting the EEG results. There are other reasons why Johnny may have had a seizure and even though the root cause is the damage done to the brain, we have to rule out the other factors.”  
“What type of issues? I mean from what I remember, seizures occur because of the electrical impulses in the brain go haywire,” Roy asked in confusion.  
“That is true, but in this case, we have to rule out a few other things. Although Johnny is running a slight temperature of 99.5 degrees, I don’t believe that is the cause. I also am running some blood work to check his to make sure his sodium and magnesium levels aren’t too low and his calcium level isn’t too high. If one of those values is off, that could be a contributing component as to the cause of the seizures. It could also be the explanation of why the seizure took place. Hopefully, when all the results are in, I will have a better picture and be able to know for sure why it took place, as well as if it will keep happening.  
“I don’t want you two to worry however,” Joe stated firmly as he looked at them kindly. “I really am hopeful that this is something that can be managed very easily if for some reason it keeps continuing. We just have to keep hoping that as Johnny’s brain heals, the seizures will lessen or disappear.”  
“So you think that this issue will eventually resolve itself?” Roy asked.  
“It’s a possibility,” Dr. Early said.  
“How good of a chance?” Roy pressed.  
Breathing out slowly, Joe calculated before answering, “Maybe 60 to 65 percent chance that the seizures will eventually stop. But again, you should know there are no guarantees in medicine and we can’t predict when or if they will stop. Just try and hang in there, ok? As of right now, I have Johnny on Lamictal to ward off any other seizures that may occur until the results are back. Even if it turns out that this is something that Johnny will need to deal with, there are a good number of anti-seizure medications and combinations of meds that we can try, so don’t give up hope.”  
“Thanks, doc, and don’t worry, we won’t give up,” Roy truthfully said, feeling anything but thankful at that moment.  
_Why is it just when things seem to finally be looking up, something else seems to come along and knock us around?_ Roy wondered, unaware Joanne was thinking the same thoughts. I just hope when Johnny finds out about this, we can help him deal with this.  
“I wish I could have given you two better news,” Dr. Early apologized. “Unfortunately, the brain is a mystery and there are a lot of things we just don’t know about yet.”  
Smiling gently at him, Joanne said, “At least you’re honest with us. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that.”  
“No problem you too,” he said as he stood up. “If you’d like, you can see Johnny know, but he is sleeping pretty deeply and hopefully will for the next few hours.”  
“I think we’d just like to see him anyway, doc,” Roy confessed after looking at his wife.  
“I figured as much,” Joe smiled. “Just be sure to not bump the wires on his head and not disturb him in any way. I also ask that you keep the visit short, maybe ten minutes? After he wakes up again, we’ll try to finish up the tests if possible. Afterwards, Karl will be meeting up with you here just in case you two would like to talk. I’ll make sure that there is a conference room open so you have some privacy.”  
Nodding their agreement, Joanne took Roy’s hand and they headed to check up on their friends. Letting out a gasp at the sight of so many wires encompassing John’s head, Joanne left fairly quickly. Roy too, was stunned, but sat down for a few minutes, hanging onto Johnny’s hand.  
“Hold on buddy,” he whispered before getting up and leaving.  
Finding Jo crying silently in the ICU waiting room, Roy went to sit next to her and enveloped her in a hug.  
“Shh, it’s okay honey,” he tried to assure her.  
“I’m sorry, it’s just…I can’t believe how much worse he looks,” she explained. “He looks a lot paler and even more tired than before.”  
“Yeah, seizures can take a lot of a person, especially if they last a while from what we are told in training.”  
“How are we going to be able to tell the kids about this?” Joanne asked, worried about how the kids might react.  
Pausing to gathering his thoughts, Roy said, “I think we should do as we promise and be open and honest with them, no matter how hard it is. They deserve to know what happened and that it could happen again. Chris and Jenny also deserve the chance to say that dealing with something like this might be too much.”  
“You’re right,” Jo sighed. “It’s just unfair…”  
“Hi, you two,” Doctor Druthers said quietly as he approached them.  
“Hi,” Roy said, not looking up so the doctor wouldn’t see his red eyes. “I guess you heard what happened.”  
Sitting down, Karl sighed, “Yes, and I’m sorry about this. I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t.”  
“Its okay,” Jo told him. “I don’t know if there really is anything to say.”  
“Just seems like Johnny has rotten luck,” Roy added.  
“Some set backs are to be expect though,” Dr. Druthers realistically pointed out. “This may seem like a big one, but from what I understand, at least this is happening now and not after he is out of the hospital.”  
“What do you mean?” Joanne inquired.  
“Some people who have the level of injury Johnny has will sometimes develop seizures months or even years after the initial injury. Even though he is one of the unlucky few to have this occur, at least it is occurring in a hospital where he can get the treatment needed fast. If it occurred outside of the hospital, Johnny wouldn’t get the help as quickly and well, it may have turned out as well as it did for him,” Dr. Druthers pointed out gently.  
Closing his eyes, Roy tilted his head back and sighed deeply.  
“Never thought of that,” he said wearily. “I just don’t know how we are going to explain this to the kids. Or deal with this, I mean, sure I’ve dealt with this on the job, but…”  
“If you still feel like you want to try, there are resources out there that can teach you and your family what to watch for. The doctors can also help to educate you and provide you with instruction on what medications to give Johnny and when,” Karl reassured them. “I will want to make sure that all four of you understand the basics of seizures, even if the doctors figure out the cause and they stop, just in case they return. I also want to make sure everyone feels as though they are able to, as well as willing to handle this challenge.”  
“You don’t have to worry about that,” Joanne gave him a weak smile. “Roy and I both agreed that we will be open and honest as possible about what is happening with Johnny. If either Chris or Jenny feel that something is too much to handle and they don’t want to or can’t deal with something, our family will find a place where Johnny is treated well. I’m not sure we should look into places or not yet, but I think we should considering what happened today. I know there is no way we’d allow Johnny to go stay at New Horizons.”  
“I don’t blame you. Especially since it is now being investigated,” Doctor Druthers informed them. “I can get a list of other places and have them checked out ahead of time if you’d like.”  
“That’d be great,” Roy said.  
“It’s hard, what with all the things we need to do for Johnny, the kids ending school today, making sure that all the summer activities are lined up and making sure that a schedule is adhered to when possible right now to be able to do something like that ourselves,” Joanne explained. “I am just grateful Irene offered to take Chris and Jenny after school so we could spend today with Johnny.”  
Smiling, Karl admitted, “I rarely see the type of support system that you guys have in place. It’s really quite amazing. Anyway, have you two eaten lunch yet?”  
Shaking their heads no, Karl said, “Well, the medications Johnny was given should be wearing off in another hour and a half or so. That should be enough time for you two to get something to eat. Why don’t you go down to the cafeteria and I’ll stay up here and keep an eye out? I’ll come get you if Johnny starts waking up at all.”  
Roy looked uneasily towards Joanne and saw that she was just as uneasy at the idea of leaving the waiting room.  
“I know last time you tried to get lunch, things went wrong, but you need to take care of yourselves if you are going to be any good at all to Johnny, Chris or Jenny,” Karl reminded them. “I won’t tell you not to worry, but just remember, Johnny is in good hands and is being monitored even more closely right now. Besides, you can’t visit him for almost another hour anyway.”  
As an added incentive, Doctor Druthers added, “Maybe by the time you get back, Dr. Early will have some of the test results back.”  
Sighing, Joanne realized that he was right and gave in, “Alright, but you promise to page us or find us if anything changes?”  
“I promise,” Karl said solemnly as he watched the two of them stand up slowly.  
“Thanks, doc,” Roy said in a low tone.  
“No problem. From what you guys have been telling me, he’s a pretty special person and I’m more than happy to watch out for Johnny.”  
Nodding, Roy and Joanne slowly walked to the elevator and glanced towards the ICU doors before stepping on the elevator.  
_Please God, take good care of him and watch over him,_ Joanne asked. _Help our family deal with this new turn and learn how to be there for him without ever losing sight of one another._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20% of those with closed head injuries that cause bleeding between the brain and the skull experience seizures.  
> A seizure in the first week after a brain injury is called an early post-traumatic seizure and about 25% of these people will have another seizure months or years later.  
> Late post-traumatic seizures occur more than seven days after a brain injury and about 80% of these people will have another seizure.  
> Conditions that can increase the risk of having a seizure:  
> • High fever  
> • Loss of sleep and extreme fatigue  
> • Drug and alcohol use  
> • Chemical changes in the body such as low sodium or magnesium, or high calcium levels
> 
> Cortical reflex myoclonus is thought to be a type of epilepsy that originates in the cerebral cortex - the outer layer, or "gray matter," of the brain, responsible for much of the information processing that takes place in the brain. In this type of myoclonus, jerks usually involve only a few muscles in one part of the body, but jerks involving many muscles also may occur. Cortical reflex myoclonus can be intensified when individuals attempt to move in a certain way (action myoclonus) or perceive a particular sensation.


	31. End of the Test

As the EKG was being run and the medications were allowed to wear off, Roy and Joanne took turns pacing around the ICU waiting room. There wasn’t much for them to do after eating a quick lunch and neither of them could concentrate on the reading materials they had brought along. When Karl came out by them, they were disappointed when he

“I can see how stressful this is for you two and frankly, I am a bit concerned,” he told them point blank. “I realize that somehow us doctors somehow overlooked telling you that this was a possibility. If you’d like, we can discuss it now.”

Sighing, Roy looked at Joanne and nodded his consent.

“Truth be told, I just didn’t want to think about this happening,” Roy admitted. “In training and our refresher courses, we’re told this is something we have to watch out for after a head injury, but since it hadn’t taken place, I guess I assumed it was unlikely. I mean, from what I know, seizures happen within the first couple days and Johnny seemed to be past that danger point.”

Shocked, Joanne wasn’t sure what to say. Gathering her thoughts, she slowly said, “I can’t really blame anyone for not telling us. At least Doctor Early and the nurses were watching out for the chance it could happen. And with everything else going on, well, I’m not a medical professional, but it seems like there were a lot more important things to worry about and watch for, right?”

“True,” Karl said. “That still doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have been told and we are sorry about that. Unfortunately, it does happen, especially when you have a case like Johnny’s were so many things are going on.”

“So, what happens now?” Roy asked. “I know you probably can’t tell us if another seizure is likely since that’s Dr. Early’s field, but, well… I guess I feel kind of lost with what happens next.”

“And how do we explain what happened to Johnny?” Joanne added. “Do we even tell him?”

Hesitating, Doctor Druthers thought it over before answering, “I think if he asks what happens, you should tell him. Otherwise, wait a bit. As far as how to tell him… I have to be honest and say, other than putting it in simple terms, I don’t know. Right now, we still aren’t sure how much John is able to process and understand, so it may take a while and a few tries for him to understand what happens.

“I’m more than willing to help, as I am sure Dr. Early is, but I think you and Roy need to be the ones who take the lead. Johnny needs to learn to turn to you for help and know that you two are safe, that you are someone who will be there for him even in through all the confusion going on,” Dr. Druthers explained.

“How will we know if Johnny is understanding what we are telling him?” Joanne asked worriedly. “I mean, he may say he does, but I’ve had that issue with my own kids saying they get something and still being confused.”

“That’s why Dr. Early is running all these tests,” Karl assured Jo and Roy. “It will give him a baseline reading today as to where John is at mentally and physically. There is a bit of a complication with it though…”

At the hesitation, Roy spoke up in dread, “What is it?”

“From what we know, Johnny was raised on a reservation. That right there means we don’t know if he will understand what a typical kid his age should.”

“I don’t understand,” Jo’s eyebrows wrinkled. “I mean, yes, he was likely taught different beliefs, but beyond that, how different could things be?”

“A lot different,” Roy said. “I don’t know much about Johnny’s past, but the bits and pieces I’ve picked up, he seemed to be, I don’t know, sheltered? a lot. Although I’m not sure that’s the right word. It seems almost as if...well, the best way I can describe it, is when I’ve told him things about my childhood, he gets this look of wonder or whatever on his face.”

“Exactly,” Dr. Druthers said. “We don’t know if he was exposed to the same type of things or situations as a child outside of a reservation. Already, we know he has trust issues and difficulty believing that people are willing to help him just due to his mixed parentage, at least when he was the age he believes he is right now.”

Sighing, Roy shook his head, “Has anything come from his hometown yet so we know more about what we are dealing with?”

Spotting Johnny’s nurse, Dr. Druthers nodded towards her before answering Roy, “No, although Kel has talked to them a few times, they refuse to give up any information unless Johnny or his legal guardian requests the information. Since you two now have the forms completed, Doctor Brackett is going to fax them again. Hopefully, within a day or so, we’ll have some information about John’s background that will help us out.

“But anyway, right now, it appears Johnny is starting to wake-up, so why don’t we head inside. Once he’s fully awake, Dr. Early will finish up the tests he needs to run.”

“How often will he need to run these tests?” Roy asked.

“Every three days or so, I believe,” Karl said. “It will help him keep track of how the brain is healing. After a couple weeks, Joe said that the only evaluations that will take place than are ones that are required to track his rehabilitation therapy.”

Giving a weak smile, Jo mentally rolled her eyes.

_Johnny always hated doing any kind of rehab work after getting casts off or injuries healed enough for him to go. The only reason he worked so hard was because he wanted to get back to work so badly,_ Roy worried to himself. _How on earth are we going to convince him now to push himself when he doesn’t have that motivation? Isn’t he going to think we’re just being cruel considering the pain he will go through? I just hope we can find a way to see him through this._

As if sensing their thoughts, Dr. Druthers stopped them before they could step into the cubicle where Johnny was starting to move around.

“I know you two might be concerned about how we will get Johnny through the rehabilitation part of this, but between doctors Early and Brackett, as well as myself and the head of the program, we will figure out who will work best with him, not to mention for him. Somehow, we will find a way to get him through it and make it as fun and painless as possible, okay,” he promised.

Joanne gripped Roy’s hand and nodded. Taking a deep breath, Roy gave a short nod and stepped inside the cubicle. Taking Johnny’s hand, Roy began talking to him and noticed him start to calm down almost immediately.

“Amazing,” Karl breathed out.

Smiling, Jo shook her head, “Those two just have a bond. I never could understand it myself, but I know they would be lost without one another. When this happened, I was worried about Roy, but for some reason, the bond is still there. Johnny may not remember us or feel comfortable around most of us, but that connection those two have is still there. I have a feeling without it, Johnny would be worse off mentally.”

“It’s very likely,” Doctor Druthers admitted, still amazed. “Now I understand why the doctors are okay with you two being here so much. Speaking of which, I’m going to go hunt down Dr. Early. Hopefully, Roy can get John awake by then.”

Overhearing the conversation and knowing all too well how Johnny reacted on medications, Roy let Karl know, “Johnny should be awake in about ten minutes. He’s already trying to open his eyes and move.”

“Too much experience huh?”

“Yep,” Jo and Roy answered almost at the same time.

Smiling, Doctor Druthers left the couple to help the young man awaken and to find Doctor Early. After a thorough search of the emergency room, he was found and explaining how Johnny was starting to come around, Dr. Early let Dixie know where he was headed.

“Say hi to Roy and Jo for me,” she said.

_Almost said Johnny,_ she thought sadly. _I wonder if there ever will come a time when he will be back to his old self. Or, at the very least, a time where I can be around him without scaring him half to death like I did when he was first brought in._

Mentally shaking herself from her dreary thoughts, she watched as Joe and Karl made their way to the elevators.

Once the two men reached the ICU floor, Dr. Early stopped by the nurse’s desk to grab some material.

“Are you going to come in?” Joe asked.

“No, I think it’s best if I just observe from outside the room,” Doctor Druthers said.

“Alright, once I’m done, I’ll go over my notes with you. See if we’re on the same page.”

“Sounds good. Good luck.”

Waving, Dr. Early entered the cubicle softly and smiled at the DeSotos. Seeing Johnny was awake, or at least awake as much as he could be given the medication he was on, Joe smiled at Johnny as well.

“Hi, Johnny,” he greeted his patient. “Do you remember me?”

Nodding, Johnny told him haltingly, “You give owie shots. Ask lotta questions.”

“That’s right,” Dr. Early said, holding back his laughter as he sat down on a chair on the left side of the bed.

“Why owie?”

“Why did I give you a shot?” Doctor Early asked to clarify.

Nodding carefully, John looked at him.

“You were having what was called a seizure,” was the careful reply.

Eyes widened as John asked, “What?”

Taking over, Joanne explained as she rubbed his arm, “A seizure means your body was shaking a lot. It’s not good to have that so the doctor gave you a shot to stop it.”

Noticing the confused look, Joanne thought a minute and then started shaking her arms.

“See how my arms shook?” she asked and waited for him to nod. “Well, that was what your body was doing.”

“Why?” Johnny asked.

“We don’t know,” Roy answered truthfully. “We do know it has to do with you hitting your head. Doctor Early here has your head hooked up to wires. That way, if it happens again, we will know if it is taking place inside your head. You could have the seizure if you have too much or too little of things in your blood, like calcium.”

“Is that milk?” Johnny asked, confused.

“Yes, calcium is found in milk,” Doctor Early said. “Did this help?”

“I shake, so you give shot that hurts?” John summarized.

“Yes,” Roy acknowledged with a small smile.

“It’s called siz...er?” Johnny’s eyes squinted as he concentrated very hard while trying to recall the information.

“Close,” Joanne said. “It’s called a seizure. It’s okay if you can’t remember that or why it happened, alright? Just know that we are doing what we can so it doesn’t happen again.”

“‘K,” he said slowly, still confused.

“Is it okay if I finish asking you the questions I have?” Dr. Early asked, sensing it would be wise to move on.

“Do I gotta?” Johnny looked towards Roy and Joanne, unaware how happy it made them.

“Yes sweetie, it’ll tell the doctor how to help you,” Jo encouraged him.

“Fine,” Johnny let out a huge sigh.

_Well, at least some things haven’t changed,_ Roy mused.

Over the next hour, Doctor Early went through the neuro checklist he had, beginning with asking Johnny to count from ten to zero and then zero to ten. He then laid out a piece of paper, a plastic toy tree, and a spoon. Once these were laid out, Joe asked Johnny to identify each one.

Johnny easily figured out the spoon and paper, but when Doctor Early asked again what the plastic toy tree was, he got frustrated.

_Look like tree. Do I say tree?_ Johnny wondered as he grew more and more confused. _Why not say to me tell me what looks like? Hate this. Hate this! Why not just go away!_

“I DON’T KNOW!” he shouted.

“Ok, it’s okay,” Dr. Early soothed. “You don’t need to know what it is, okay.”

Sniffing, Johnny tried turning away, only to be faced with Roy and Joanne looking at him sympathetically.

“I wanna go home, wanna be with mom and da,” he plaintively said.

Allowing Joanne access to Johnny, Roy watched as Joanne gathered him in her arms.

“Honey, I know you want to go home. I know you wish your mom and dad were still here. If I could, I’d make things better for you. So would Roy and Doctor Early,” she soothed as she rubbed his back. “This is your home now though and I can promise you that Roy and I will be here for you. We will watch out for you, help you out, okay? We care so much about you.”

Sighing, Joanne didn’t know what else to say and from what she could see, both Roy and Doctor Early weren’t very comfortable dealing with this burst of emotion.

“How about we just take things one by one, okay?” she suggested after the tears had slowed and almost stopped. “We’re almost done with the tests the doctor needs to run and after that, you can rest up. How does that sound?”

Nodding slowly, Johnny allowed himself to be laid back down on the bed. Rubbing his eyes, he didn’t look up at anyone.

“It’s okay to cry and get mad,” Roy told him, sensing his embarrassment.

“Really?” John asked skeptically.

_Why is it okay? Other elders who look like you hate when I do…_ thought Johnny as he tried hard not to glare at the man whose name he couldn’t remember. _How I know you as nice as you seem?_  
  


“Really,” Roy said, lifting up his chin so he could look at Johnny in the eyes. “Now, let’s finish this up so you can sleep.”

“‘K.”

“Alright, if you can, I’d like you to draw a square for me,” Joe asked softly, afraid of setting John off again.

Thankfully, after a few minutes of contemplating on how to draw a square, Johnny slowly drew a square. Albeit a lopsided and crooked one.

“Great job!” Joe praised. “Now, how about a circle?”

Again, slowly and with a lot of thinking involved, Johnny drew a circle.

Even though it looked more like an oval with very shaky lines, again Doctor Early told him how good of a job he was doing.

_I wish I could skip these last tests since they are more difficult for most people with brain injuries and Johnny seems almost scared of doing anything wrong. Now, I finally understand why families shouldn’t treat family. If it is this hard just trying to help a friend, I can’t imagine treating a family member. I already feel like a monster, forcing Johnny to stay awake longer than he’d like and putting him through all this,_ Dr. Early thought. _Unfortunately, that would be doing a disservice to him. I just wish there was an easier solution._

Getting out a set of blocks, he asked Johnny to arrange them in a square. Once Johnny began, Joe snuck a peek at his watch in order to time how long it took him. Finally, after six minutes, Johnny had arranged all eight blocks into a rectangle. Despite not being the shape that was asked, Doctor Early ignored it and smiled at Johnny as he congratulated him.

Since the blocks were different colors, Joe took four of the basic colors-red, blue, green, and white. Again, he placed them in front of John before asking him what each of the colors were. This time, John was able to figure out what each color was. Removing the blocks, Doctor Early set out three cards. Each had a picture and one simple sentence on it.

“I promise, this is the last thing I will ask of you, okay?” Dr. Early promised. “Here, I would like you to put these cards in order of what you would do first, what you would do second and what you would do last.”

Staring at the cards, Johnny saw an object he had never seen before and began freaking out.

_I can’t do this! They gonna be mad! Gonna hate me. Stupid, stupid…_

Seeing Johnny beginning to hyperventilate, Roy quickly asked, “Johnny, what’s wrong?”

“Stupid,” he mumbled.

“Why?” Roy asked.

“Stupid.”

Trying to figure out what was going on, Roy followed John’s eyes to where they were looking. Seeing how they were darting back and forth along the pictures, he had an idea.

“Does this have to do with the cards?”

“Stupid,” John huffed.

“Have you seen that before?” Roy continued his questioning gently.

Shaking his head hard, Johnny groaned as his stomach launched a protest and his head seemed to pound harder.

“Hey, look at me,” Roy gently grabbed Johnny’s chin and moved it so he was looking at him. “It’s okay. You’re not stupid. Just breathe, okay?”

Coaching him, Roy soon got Johnny to calm down.

_Not that it was too hard. He’s just so exhausted!_ Roy thought, unsure whether to be thankful or not.

While Roy had been calming John down, Doctor Early had removed the cards.

“Johnny,” Joe said once Johnny was doing okay again. “It’s fine that you didn’t know. I’m sorry for making you think you had to know. You did great with these questions. I promise, you won’t have to go through this again for a while again. Right now, I am going to have the nurse come in and give you something to help you not hurt so much.”

Roy, Joanne, and Dr. Early watched as Johnny slowly dropped off to sleep even before the nurse could insert the medication into his IV. As soon as they were certain he’d be out for a while, the three met Dr. Druthers at the door before heading to a conference room.


	32. Neuro Results

Walking into the conference room, Joe waited until Roy and Joanne were seated before handing his notes off to Dr. Druthers.

“I need to make a quick call down to the rehab department so that someone can be here to help us figure out a basic plan. I’d also like to check on something at the nurse’s desk,” he let them know. “It shouldn’t be too long.”

Nodding, the DeSoto’s sat back as Karl began reading over Dr. Early’s evaluation notes and Joe left. Upon reaching the desk, as he picked up the phone and began dialing, Nurse Fitz handed Dr. Early the latest blood work results. Scanning them over as the phone began to ring, Joe smiled slightly.

“Rampart Rehabilitation Services, Jacob Landers speaking,” was the greeting as the phone was answered.

“Hi, Jacob. This is Joe Early. I just completed the first evaluation on John Gage. I was hoping that you still had the time to come up to the ICU to listen over the evaluation and help us formulate a plan.”

“Sure, give me a couple minutes to let someone know where I’ll be and get up there,” Jacob agreed.

“Thanks,” Dr. Early said. “We’ll be in Conference Room B. I just need to get some new medication orders filled out for John, so by the time I’m done, I should be there as well.”

“Alright, I’ll meet you there,” Jacob acknowledged as he hung up.

Hanging up as well, Joe looked over the electrolyte levels once again. Sighing in relief at what he found, he looked around for John’s day nurse.

Spotting her waiting nearby, he asked, “Maggie?”

“Yes, doctor?”

“Could you please set up an IV solution of 5 g 1 L of dextrose 5% solution over three hours? I’d like his blood work repeated after every hour,” Dr. Early ordered. “Also, reduce the Lamictal by half.”

Writing down the instructions, Nurse Fitz gave the chart to Joe to sign.

“I’ll make sure of that personally.”

“Thanks,” Joe smiled at her and after adding his signature, went to meet Jacob who had been waiting by the conference room.

Entering first, Joe introduced the individual who had come in with him.

“This is Jacob Landers. He is one of the coordinators of the rehab services here. Jacob works with patients to find the right therapists and also is involved with helping out the therapists themselves when needed,” Dr. Early explained.

A bit shocked as the man barely stood 5’5” and seemed even skinnier than Johnny was now, Roy tried swallowing his misgivings as he stood to greet him.

“Hi, I’m Roy,” he said. “And this is my wife Joanne.”

“Please, call me Jo,” she said pleasantly, also a bit shocked. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Laughing a bit as they sat down, Jacob smiled at them.

“I know I don’t look like I can handle adult patients, but I find my height actually has worked for me if patients are scared easily.”

“That’s why I thought Jacob might actually be one of the best coordinators and assistants to work with Johnny,” Dr. Early explained. “With his mindset, we aren’t sure if someone who is larger and who has more muscles that he could actually see would scare him. If Johnny was too scared around the therapist, then progress would be slow at best.”

Nodding, Roy took Jo’s hand and asked, “So, than what exactly is the plan? It sounds as though you have somewhat of an idea already.”

“Yes and no,” Joe replied. “I already know that John will benefit from having a physical and occupational therapist, possibly a speech therapist as well. That is why Jacob is here. He can better determine if a speech therapist is needed once I explain the results of the neuro exam. Jacob can also start planning on which therapists will work well with Johnny and what they will likely need to work on. It may very well change, but having an outline of a plan in place will be helpful. That way, when John is ready to begin rehab, we won’t be left scrambling.”

“The sooner we can begin helping him relearn skills, the better chance he has at relearning and recovering better,” Jacob explained to them. “I’m glad that you and your family have begun seeing Dr. Druthers, as that will help a lot in this process. I do have to warn you, this is not going to be an easy road, nor a short road.”

“I think we both realize that,” Jo said as she looked towards Roy.

“I can vouch that the kids realize that things are different,” Karl said. “Even though I haven’t talked with them much, I know that even though they don’t fully grasp what is happening, Chris and Jenny are willing to try because to them, Johnny has always been family.”

“That’s great!” Jacob said. “John is going to need a lot of support. But first, I need to know what you found through your first exam Dr. Early.”

Sliding Joe’s notes towards him, Dr. Early nodded in Karl’s direction.

“Why don’t I begin with some good news first?” seeing the hopeful looking on Roy and Joanne’s faces, he smiled as well. “The EEG results have yet to show another seizure, which is a positive sign in and of itself in my opinion. What I found the most encouraging, however was that John’s magnesium level was very low. That can actually cause seizures.”

“But then, why didn’t this show up sooner?” Roy interrupted.

“With a head injury, especially one this severe, electrolytes are affected and it can sometimes take a while to happen. We will have to keep a close eye on his electrolytes until his brain heals,” Joe cautioned. “But, this should be correctable. I’ve just started Johnny on an IV solution of 5 g 1 L of dextrose 5% solution that’ll be given over three hours. We’ll complete blood work every hour and if his magnesium levels are stabilizing after three hours, I’ll put Johnny on what is called a maintenance dose. I did cut the Lamictal that I had initially put him on in case he was experiencing seizures due to the head injury. I am very hopeful that once his electrolytes are finally balanced, he can be taken off of that.”

“So, why did you reduce that medication now?” Joanne asked.

“With everything going on, I don’t want to risk using unneeded medications that may be needed later. John’s body could develop a tolerance or an allergy-like response to medications that are used unnecessarily,” seeing the worry on both Roy and Jo’s faces, Joe held up a hand before either could speak. “I don’t think that Johnny will have problems with seizures in the future, but there is still a small chance it could happen. Based on past research, it seems that during the first year is when it could possibly could happen and even then, the chance is very small.”

Sighing, Roy took a minute to go over everything they had been told so far.

“So basically, we just need to wait until his magnesium levels are stabilized and hopefully, that will end the seizures?”

“Yes,” Joe assured him. “I honestly don’t know how long he will need to be on magnesium, but quite honestly, it is a fairly easy fix and something that is easy to watch for. At worst, he may end up taking a pill form of it for a long time.”

“Well, that’s not so bad,” Jo said, relief evident in her voice.

“No, not at all,” Joe smiled slightly. “Are you two ready to go on and hear about what I found in the exam?”

Glancing at one another, Jo and Roy again reached for one another.

“I think so,” Roy said, with a tremor in his voice.

“Might as well,” Jo said, breathing deeply.

“I’m sure you two are both aware that Johnny is having memory problems,” Joe stated to Roy and Joanne. “It could be that because he is still medicated fairly heavily or due to the brain swelling that he is having trouble with recalling simple information from a short time ago. Quite honestly however, I have to question if that is the case since Johnny also has a hard time identifying objects that any seven year old should. He also couldn’t figure out how to put the three picture story together. That, though, I wonder about if it is simply a case of not knowing how to tying his shoes or if it is a cultural problem.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jo asked, her voice laced with confusion.

“One thing Roy does know about John’s childhood is that he grew up on a reservation,” Dr. Druthers explained. “It could be possible that due to economical factor or the fact his parents preferred to carry on the tradition of their heritage so that what we think of as normal shoes weren’t worn.”

“So, he wouldn’t recognize shoes, or even if he did, he wouldn’t necessarily know how to tie them?” Joanne asked in amazement.

“You have to remember, he grew up in the 1950’s. It may have been quite common where he grew up,” Karl said.

Shaking her head, Joanne couldn’t believe her ears.

 _If that is the case, I wonder what else Johnny has never heard of or knows about,_ she wondered. _Does he even know about the things we take for granted today?_

Roy must have been thinking along those same lines, as he voiced out loud, “We really have got to figure out what it was like for him growing up. I mean, we have no clue what is normal for him and things we think nothing of might overwhelm him.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Dr. Druthers said. “Hopefully, we can help Johnny feel more at ease in a foreign world with people who he doesn’t know. As I’ve said before, it wouldn’t be easy.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jo declared. “As long as our kids are on board, so are we. Right, Hun?”

“Right,” Roy agreed. “So, besides the memory issues, what else is going on doc?”

Moving on, Joe explained that the reason he had Johnny drawing simple shapes was to test not only his memory, but also his coordination and muscle tone.

“Unfortunately, as you can see by these drawings,” he said pulling them out. “John had a very difficult time with figuring out how to move his hand and his muscle tone.”

“How did you figure out the muscle tone from that?” Roy asked.

“And what is muscle tone?” Jo wanted to know.

“Muscle tone helps a person control their body. Basically, it is the little muscle movements that make up the whole. The fact that John’s hands were loose and floppy like while doing so indicates that his muscle tone is lower than before the accident. Also, his coordination, or ability to do a task such as holding the paper while holding the paper and drawing the shape, was obviously affected. By observing him, I saw Johnny struggling to hold the pencil and the paper at the same time frequently.”

“Anything else?” Roy sighed, wondering what else could have gone wrong.

Hating to go on, but knowing the couple needed all the information, Dr. Early sadly told him, “Yes. I am not sure if you and Jo noticed, but Johnny has been having some trouble with his speech. He is having difficultly processing what is said to him and it takes him longer than it should. Also, John stutters a bit and stumbles on his words.

“Lastly,” taking a deep breath, Joe let it out. “I find when I check his reflexes and grip, it is nowhere near where it should be. They are both slow and weak. Again, all this could be partly due to the medications, but I have a feeling a lot of it is due to the damage his brain has suffered. You have to remember however, it hasn’t been that long since the injury and there is hope that Johnny can at least have some recovery, if not a full recovery. We just don’t know at this point.”

“That is why I am here now,” Jacob interjected. “The sooner we can start on therapy, the better the chance of a more meaningful recovery.”

“And you can’t tell us what a meaningful recovery will be?” Jo asked, already knowing the answer.

“No, I’m sorry,” Jacob said. “Usually it takes a year or so before we know for sure how much a person is able to recover from a head injury. But like I said, the sooner we get started, the better.”

“So, where do we begin?” Roy asked.

“Well, first of all, I will take my notes and find a physical therapist, occupation therapist, and a speech therapist. They will each conduct their own evaluation once Johnny is out of the ICU and in the Neuro step-down unit. That will probably be taking place in, what? Twelve more days?” he asked, looking towards Joe for the answer.

“About nine actually, it depends on how well he is doing,” Dr. Early acknowledged.

Continuing to explain, Jacob told them, “After each of them finish their evaluations, I will get together will all three of them and together, along with Dr. Early, will work out a plan tailored to John. Once we have that sorted out, we will let you know what is involved in the plan. We will be starting slowly at first of course, taking into account John’s other injuries. As they heal, the therapists and I will add in more. I don’t believe that John will need speech therapy for long, maybe a month or so at the most. The physical therapist will have to concentrate on his upper body until his cast is removed in five weeks. After that, I’d like to get him into the pool as it will help him with a wide range of things, from muscle strength to coordination to balance to physical strength. Plus, I find a lot of patients, especially the younger ones, find the pool soothing.”

“Wow,” Jo said impressed. “You sound as if you have a fairly good idea what to do already.”

“Somewhat,” Jacob acknowledged. “It could change over the course of the next nine to twelve days, or after the main evaluations, but this will at least give us a starting point. I will send up a physical therapist to start working on moving Johns limbs when he is moved down to the step-down unit.”

“Thanks,” Roy said, shaking his hand.

“No problem. If there isn’t anything else, I’ll go and get started on looking for people,” Jacob said standing.

Also standing, the remaining four shook their heads no.

“Again, thank you so much,” Jo said gratefully. “We can’t tell you how much we appreciate it.”

“I’ve heard wonderful things about John, so it’s really my pleasure,” Jacob admitted as he left.

Before Jo or Roy could say anything else, he had exited the room, leaving them stunned that once again, Johnny’s kindness was so well known.

Clearing his throat, Karl began, “Well, I know you two are probably anxious to check on Johnny, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to tell you and Dr. Early what I observed during the last part of the exam.”

Seeing them both nod, he continued, “I noticed that John was experiencing mood swings, and I also saw that Dr. Early noted that down as well. Mood swings are actually not unusual after a head injury and is something we will all keep an eye on. I will be the main one who will do so. If they continue to fluctuate after a few weeks, I can always prescribe a mild anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication for him. However, I’d prefer to try to work with him to manage his moods. I do want you to realize though, that I may need to add a medication on for a short while until things even out and I can help Johnny work through his emotions, help him balance himself out without medication.”

“Yeah, I noticed that,” Roy admitted. “I mean, he’s also been, I don’t know, hyper and then kind of crashes, but this is a lot different.”

“One thing I did notice that is positive is that even though John says he isn’t sure of you two, when upset, frustrated, or is dealing with any strong emotion really,” Karl told them. “I found that he leaned towards you both, especially you Roy. John seemed to look towards you for help and guidance, almost as if he knew you would protect him and sort out the confusion for him. That is an excellent sign. It means that subconsciously, he does trust you even if he doesn’t know you.”

Smiling, Jo nudged her shoulder into her husband, “I’ve always thought those two were brothers in a past life.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Roy mumbled as he blushed.

Laughing along with Joe, Karl said, “Whatever bond it is, I’m glad it’s there. It’s also there with you too Joanne, although not as strong. Just keep being there for him. When he’s awake, tell him about yourselves, about your kids, family, life, anything and everything you can think of. He may not remember it the next day and you likely will have to repeat it again, but that’s okay. Ask him questions, but if he doesn’t answer, just move on. I think if you guys do that, it will help him out.”

“Thanks,” Roy and Jo answered together.

“Do you two have any questions?” Dr. Early asked, seeing that Karl was finished.

“No, I don’t think so,” Jo said slowly as she looked at her husband.

“No, thank you guys, this has helped a lot,” Roy acknowledged.

“You’re welcome,” Joe said. “I’ll follow you back to Johnny’s room. I’d like to check on him myself.”

“Same here,” Karl agreed.

With that, the four of them made their way to John’s cubicle to find him still resting peacefully.


	33. Focusing and Learning

Slowly, over the next few days, Johnny began to be able to stay awake more often without prompting. Encouraged by this, Roy would describe his life as a paramedic firefighter, the people he worked with and his family. Every time Joanne stopped by to visit after spending time with their kids or dropping them off at various places, she would take over for Roy and describe their family to him. Neither were sure how much Johnny was able to understand at this point as he would drop off to sleep without warning and at times, would wear a confused look on his face for no apparent reason. What was worse however, were the times when he began to panic and would struggle to escape the confines of his bed without warning. Only when a sedative was given would the crying and whimpering from pain stop.

“At least this is happening less and less,” Jo said softly and let out a sigh of relief after the latest episode Johnny had experienced. “I just wish he would let us know what he was thinking. It breaks my heart to see him go through this each time.”

“I know,” Roy agreed, frustrated. “I just wish we knew how to help him, but…”

“Honey, he just doesn’t trust us yet. He wants to, you can tell just by looking in his eyes, but it will take time. For now, we just have to be patient and continue doing what we are. You heard what Dr. Early said. It is helping. Now, I better get going, I got to pick up Jennifer from swim practice,” Jo told him as she stood and kissed him. “I’ll see you in a couple hours for dinner?”

“Yeah,” he smiled up at his wife. “And I’ll pick up Chris from Chet’s on my way home, so don’t worry about that.”

“Just make sure you pat him down this time,” Jo said wearily with a small smile. “I don’t need a junior phantom running around the house again.”

Smiling, Roy watched Joanne walk out the ICU cubicle.

 _I must be the luckiest guy to have such a sweet, caring, beautiful wife,_ Roy thought. _Not many would put up with my kind of job, let alone allow their co-workers to become family. Let’s just pray that Johnny will remember on some level this type of love and loyalty and allow us in again._

Sighing, Roy sat around for another hour before getting up to leave. Stopping by the nurse’s station, he let them know he was leaving, but that both he and Jo would be back in time for Dr. Early’s evaluation tomorrow.

“Alright, Roy. We’ll probably keep Johnny asleep until tomorrow considering it will be a stressful morning for him,” Nurse Fitz told him. “But, don’t worry, we will call you at home if there are any problems.”

“Thanks,” Roy gratefully said, knowing that the people working with Johnny were going above and beyond their job description to make things easier not only on Johnny, but on him and his wife as well. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Have a good night,” she said, picking up Johnny’s chart to check in on him.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At nine the next morning, Joe came in with a stack of papers. Seeing the doctor again, Johnny begins to squirm a bit.

“I see you remember me,” Dr. Early says gently, as he had picked times when John was asleep to exam him.

Nodding his head slowly, John thought, _Scary person. What you going to do? Make head hurt more._

“Johnny,” Joanne said slowly and gently so as not to startle him. “Dr. Early just wants to ask a few questions.”

“I will tell you why things are being asked of you as well,” Joe assured him. “If you don’t understand or get something, you can tell me.”

Looking suspiciously at the doctor, John didn’t say anything. Having more information on Johnny’s background, Joe understood the fear and anxiety Johnny must be feeling.

“I promise,” Dr. Early said, softly. “You can ask questions, you can say you don’t know something, you can speak up. The three of us in this room will not get mad at you. Isn’t that right, Joanne and Roy?”

“That’s right,” Jo said.

“I promise,” Roy said. “You can always talk to anyone at any time about anything.”

“Real?” Johnny said.

“Yes,” Joanne reiterated. “And you know, you can call us Uncle Roy and Aunt Jo, if you want.”

Dr. Early smiled and nodded discreetly at this, glad she had reminded him. One thing the two of them had brought up to him this morning was the fact he never addressed them and wouldn’t talk to them unless a question was directed towards him. Joe was hoping that by repeating the fact Johnny could address the two of them by family titles that they would like him to talk and ask questions, that it might help Johnny begin to communicate.

Letting the silence grow for a bit, Dr. Early asked, “Do you think you could do that Johnny? Call them Uncle Roy and Aunt Jo? If you can’t, you can say so.”

Thinking hard, Johnny felt confused.

 _Why call them that?_ he wondered.

“I dunno,” he finally said with a deep sigh.

“That’s okay,” Roy reassured him.

Joanne rubbed his hand and told him, “I am just happy you let us know that. If you can’t right now, that’s fine. We can always talk about this later. Why don’t we listen to Dr. Early now, alright?”

Nodding carefully, Johnny sighed again.

Although the evaluation was much the same as the previous time, Joe asked a few more questions, such as how his head was feeling and different parts of his body. For Johnny, he was just glad because when shown pictures and objects, he could recognize them. After a long few hours and a painful exam of how he could move his body, Dr. Early finally announced he was done.

“No more?” Johnny asked hopefully.

“Not today,” Dr. Early told him, glad Johnny was finally speaking up. “I will need to do this again in three days. For now, if you want to, you can just rest, okay?”

Processing that, John slowly drifted off to sleep as Joanne held his head. Make sure he was sleeping deep enough, Dr. Early pointed with his head to indicate that the three of them should leave. Once they were in the same conference room as before, he sat down and pulled out a file that looked old and battered.

“Yesterday afternoon, Dr. Brackett got information from Konawa, Oklahoma, the city where Johnny grew up. From what we gather, it was a place that was fairly well off as oil had been found there, but where John grew up wasn’t exactly, well,” Dr. Early paused, unsure how to word the information that had been uncovered. “Well, basically, his house was from the early 1900’s and not modernized much. From what the records show, there was no electricity yet in that part of town yet. Water was usually done by a pump.

“His father, Charlie Roderick, had a job with the oil company, but he was on one of the lower, if not the lowest, job positions there. There wasn’t even a job title for him, so it could be that he just did whatever job was required by his employers. The pay he got was below what the majority of people got. The only reason it is noted in the files here is because the Seminole Council is starting to look into make sure that all are treated equally.”

Looking at one another, Joanne and Roy were shocked. Neither one could imagine why someone would be treated like that, or why they would put up with that.

Speaking up, Roy asked around a lump in his throat, “Why on earth would a company do that to someone? And how come John’s father would put up with such treatment?”

Looking up from the papers with a deep sadness in his eyes, Joe offered a guess, “At that time, it probably wasn’t that unusual. You have to remember civil rights were just being fought for those black community in the 1950’s and 1960’s, which is when Johnny was living there. It was the same case for the Native Americans as well. Since Charlie married someone outside his own race, which was rare at that time, I am guessing others didn’t take it well and the racism John’s mother faced was also turned onto Charlie.

“As for why he put up with it and why the family didn’t move, there could be a lot of reasons,” Dr. Early said. “It could be that they knew there was a good possibility that no matter where they went, they would face the same problems, maybe even worse. Perhaps they felt a measure of protection because of the location where they were.”

“Kind of like, better the devil you know, than the one you don’t,” Jo muttered.

“Exactly,” Joe said. “Also, and this is just a guess, but I have a feeling that sharing the Seminole culture with Johnny and his sister was very important to both parents.”

“So, Johnny did have a sister?” Roy asked as he sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands.

“Yes, she died around 11 months from a cold virus. John was about five and a half at that time, which is why he remembers her, but not very much,” Joe concluded.

“Anything else we should know about Johnny’s background?” Roy was almost afraid of the answer.

“His parents were killed when he was six years old. From the little information that was reported, it appears a tire blew out on the car, it spun out of control and went over the edge of a hill. It happened in early April, so Johnny was likely in school. From the date of the accident and the date of his parents’ marriage, it is likely they were out celebrating their anniversary. Anyway, after that, he was sent to live with missionaries on a ranch for a few years until his aunt was located. At that time, she was given the responsibility of raising him.

“Honestly, I really don’t know much about his time on the reservation, although his medical records show do show a broken arm during that time. That doesn’t worry me, as it is only one instance. At first, I was concerned about the fact that there was so little medical information, but I called last night and was informed that until a health clinic for Native Americans was built in the mid-60’s, for the most part, they took care of their own,” Dr. Early explained. “If there was a need, they could go to the hospital, such as when Johnny broke his arm, but for the most part, those who were Native American weren’t welcomed and given the bare minimum of care even when they had life-threatening illness. I suspect that it may be why John’s sister died of such a simple virus.”

Shaking their heads, Roy and Joanne felt pain for Johnny.

 _He had to have known that he wasn’t welcomed in the hospital. I bet that’s why he hates going to them even today and tries to deny he doesn’t need to go,_ Roy speculated.

Joanne on the other hand realized that if the adults acted that way, the child must have as well.

“I’m guessing that school wasn’t easy for him either, am I right?” she asked.

“He got fairly good grades for the most part,” Joe said, leading with the positive information. “But his report cards also state he was a trouble maker. I can’t quite believe it the teachers though, considering they make it sound as if he is the one responsible for starting a lot of fights and arguments with his peers. I do believe the part where he has a great deal of trouble sitting still and concentrating however.”

Smiling, Roy laughed, “Yeah, that’d be him.”

“Anyway, I honestly believe except for Johnny having trust issues, he was pretty much normal,” Joe stated. “A bit hyper, but that’s all.”

Moving on to the exam, Joe explained what he had found on the second round of testing.

“I found that either the fact that I tailored the evaluation to what he should know according to his background helped or his memory has improved, so that is just something I’d like you two to keep an eye on until the next time I evaluate him,” Dr. Early mentioned. “Things are moving along as well as can be expected with this level of injury. Although I am concerned about the fact he struggled more than I would like with sitting up by himself and with moving his arms and legs as well, I am hoping that will improve between now and the next evaluation. His coordination has gotten slightly better, which is a positive sign. The muscle tone is also improving a bit, but I am concerned about the muscle weakness he is experiencing. His speech is getting better and so is the clarity of his speech, though I am sure you notice it still takes a bit for him to process information and he mixes up some words. Some words are also left out.”

Moving on, Dr. Early began explaining the goals for the next few days, “What I would like to do now is start getting Johnny off of the feeding tube and onto clear liquids. He will need help doing so considering the tremors he is still having, as well as the muscle weakness and trouble moving by himself. We will have to start slowly, but if he does well, in a few days, we may be able to move onto soft solids. Once he is on solids, we can take out the NG tube.”

“Again,” Joe cautioned. “This is just an outline of a plan. As you can see, as Johnny progresses and wakes up more, things may change in our plan. Do you guys have any questions or concerns? Or have you noticed anything that you think I should be aware of?”

Jo and Roy once again looked to one another in silent communication.

Speaking up, Jo said slowly, “I think the only thing we notice, even though Johnny hasn’t said anything, is that he is still experiencing fairly bad headaches and dizziness. Roy and I can tell by how his face pinches in certain areas.”

“That’s not uncommon,” Joe assured them as he made a note in the chart about that. “Unfortunately, right now, there isn’t much we can do for it. It should hopefully start clearing up over time, although it may take a few weeks, just like any concussion. I’ll keep monitoring it and if it gets worse, we can decide whether to add another pain medication. I would rather not go that route however, considering the various medications he is on at this time.

“Speaking of medications, his magnesium level is almost back to normal, so I was able to reduce to 2 g in 1 L of dextrose 5% solution over three hours. I also was able to reduce the Lamictal dosage by half again. Hopefully, in a few more days, the Lamictal won’t be needed as a safeguard and John can be put on a maintenance dosage of magnesium.”

“That’s good,” Roy smiled at the news.

“Very good,” Joe told him and Jo. “I had hoped that things would be stabilized by now, but at least we are headed in the right direction.”

Looking over his notes and Johnny’s chart one final time, Dr. Early asked, “Is there anything else that we haven’t covered? Or any questions?”

“No, I think that’s it,” Roy said as he looked towards Joanne.

“Okay, then,” Dr. Early said smiling. “I’ll be back to check on Johnny later today. When he wakes up again, just let the nurse know so she can bring him something.”

Leaving, Dr. Early headed back down to the nurse’s station while the DeSoto’s went back into Johnny’s cubicle. Seeing he was awake, Jo slipped out to let them know he was awake. A few minutes later, a tray with a cup of chicken soup was brought up for John. Helping Johnny sit up, Roy explained what the doctor wanted him to try.

“Dr. Early wants to get the tube out of your nose that has been feeding you,” Roy informed Johnny as he adjusted the pillows around him. “By eating this, in a couple days, we can then start getting you to eat other food. It may take a bit, but I bet you’d rather eat than have that tube.”

Nodding, Johnny tried grasping the spoon. It took him a few frustrating tries, but he finally got a hold of it. However, after trying to lift it to his mouth, he started getting upset when he couldn’t figure out how to get the soup to stay on the spoon.

Knowing they had to be patient and hoping he would tell them what the issue was, Joanne and Roy waited as John tried a second, than a third time to get things right. Each time he failed, it was more difficult to not reach out and help.

Finally, after the fifth attempted, Johnny sighed.

“Can’t. Help, peas?” he asked, looking towards Roy.

Nodding, Roy tucked the napkin more securely around Johnny’s neck.

“Sure, junior. I’ll be glad to help,” he said gently.

With that, he began to slowly feed the chicken soup to John. After a little less than half was gone, John began yawning and his eyes lids began staying shut longer and longer.

Seeing how tired he was, Roy removed the napkin bib, took away the tray and rolled away the tray as Joanne gently wiped Johnny’s mouth. Together, the two of them helped him lie down and tucked him in. Holding his heads, they waited for him to fall asleep.

Just as they thought he was finally asleep, they heard, “Good aunt, uncle. Thank.”

“You are welcome, sweetie,” Joanne said with tears in her eyes. “Sleep, and know you are safe and loved.”

With that, John sighed softly and sank into his first peaceful sleep since the accident.


	34. Realizations

Roy and Joanne began to notice some changes between the second and third evaluation, which caused both of them to become more excited and optimistic. For some reason, even though neither talked too much about what they discussed about before, Johnny seemed to trust Roy and Joanne. He seemed to trust Roy more than Jo, but considering how close the two had been before, it wasn’t too surprising. It also gave Jo the chance to spend more time with Chris and Jenny. John also finally started to be awake more than he was asleep, although he took frequent naps throughout the day and could fall asleep without warning. One thing that didn’t surprise anyone was how fast Johnny’s appetite came back. It seemed after his first meal, despite being unable to eat much at once, he would allow Roy or Joanne to help him eat soup four or five times a day. Dr. Early was especially pleased by this as it meant that John’s injuries were finally healing well.  
“I should be able to take him off the antibiotic tomorrow,” Dr. Early said as he walked into Johnny’s cubicle with Joanne and Roy the morning of Johnny’s third evaluation.  
“That’s great!” Joanne was cheered up by that news.  
Some of the burns and cuts had been stubbornly refusing to heal as they should and the largest cut had gotten infected. She and Roy were just happy that the burns no longer needed debridement and in another few days, most of the stitches could come out. They weren’t sure yet how to tell Johnny, but Dr. Druthers was going to come in today to introduce himself, so she and Roy were hoping he would be able to help when the time came.  
Refocusing, Joanne greeted Johnny, “Good morning, Johnny. How are you doing?”  
“Good, Aunt Jo,” Johnny said, trying to push himself up when he saw Dr. Early enter.  
“Hey,” Roy scolded gently. “Remember what we told you?”  
Thinking for a couple minutes, Johnny nodded his head yes.  
“And what was that?” Roy asked.  
“Wait. You help. Don’t hurt self,” John answered, a bit of pride shining through in his eyes.  
“That’s right,” Roy said proudly.  
Smiling, Dr. Early thought to himself, I know they haven’t told him that since late yesterday. I guess that means his memory is improving and that is one less thing I have to test. I have a feeling Johnny will be happy about that.  
Explaining again about the test he was about to run, Dr. Early made sure Johnny understood. He was pleased to note that compared to last time, it seemed to take less time to figure out what was being said and asked of him. The test also took less time than normal, which was a very positive sign in his book.  
“I just need to go and talk with your Aunt Jo and Uncle Roy, then they will be back,” Dr. Early said to Johnny, patting him on his shoulder. “I am so glad you are doing better. Would you like something to eat when they come back?”  
“Can?” Johnny asked.  
“Yes, you may,” Dr. Early said, pleased. “Anytime you are hungry, just let someone know. It’s okay to be hungry.”  
“Sure?” Johnny asked softly.  
Sitting down again, Jo took his hand, “Sweetie, it is normal to be hungry. We promise you, you can always ask if you are hungry. Even our kids ask if they can have snacks. Unless it’s too close to when we will eat a meal, we will let them have something to eat.”  
Letting John think about that for a bit, Roy asked, “Why do you think you couldn’t ask?”  
“Food hard to get. Lots money,” he said, his head down.  
Sighing, Roy cupped his shoulder, “I am so sorry you had to go through that. I know your mom and dad loved you. They did a wonderful job with what they had. Things are different here. We can get food.”  
Glancing up, Johnny saw the two he was supposed to call his aunt and uncle had tears in their eyes and smiles on their face. Seeing that, he realized finally that they really did care about him.  
Maybe they like mom, dad…love me? Johnny’s eye opened wide at the realization.  
“What’s wrong, Johnny?” Joanne asked.  
“You like mom, you dad like,” he stumbled on his words. “You care, love me?”  
“Yes,” Joanne smiled, trying and failing to hold back her tears. “I do. We both do. We know we can’t take your mom or your dad’s place. We don’t want to, but we want to be here for you. Help you out, care for you.”  
Unable to speak, Roy choked back his own tears.  
I can’t believe I’m acting like this. He’s my partner, well, not right now, but… Roy thought, confused at his jumble of emotions. Man, now I get what Dr. Druthers meant by asking me if I could love him like my own son for however long this problem? Issue? Or whatever it is…lasts. I guess I’ll have an answer for Karl today.   
Tuning back in, Roy caught Joanne telling Johnny to sleep and they would come back with some to eat in a while.  
Smiling at him, Roy tugged up the covers one last time and follow his wife and Dr. Early out to the conference room.  
“Softie,” Joanne smiled at him as she teased him.  
Rolling his eyes, he put his arms around her.  
“You’re not any better,” he pointed out.  
“Neither of you are,” Dr. Early laughed as he ended the argument.   
In a routine that the two DeSoto’s were starting to get used to, Dr. Early opened his files and began letting him know how he thought John was doing.  
“Honestly, he is doing a bit better than expected in some areas and still struggling in others, but that is typical of severe head injuries. Johnny still needs a lot of help than I’d like with moving, as his muscle tone, coordination and strength just aren’t good yet. That is something the physical and occupational therapist can address. However, his appetite is doing better, a lot better,” he corrected himself as the three of them laughed. “Then it should be at this point. He is also more aware and is processing things better. I am pleased at how well his memory is as well. The speech is still disjointed, but the stuttering is almost gone and John still struggles with processing information, but his thinking seems to be speeding up.  
“Considering where he is today, I am going to start him on solid foods. Things like Jell-O, oatmeal, soft eggs. I am also going to have you inform him that tomorrow, he will be moved to a new room on a new floor, one with a lot less noise,” Joe said, smiling at Joanne and Roy. “He can now be safely moved from the heart monitor and blood work can be done less often since his magnesium levels are now stabilized. If he continues to do well on the soft solids, the next evaluations will be done by the therapists on the rehabilitation wing. Normally, we would send a patient there to start their recovery at a certain point, but considering Johnny’s case, my thoughts are different.”  
“So, you have a game plan?” Roy asked hopefully.  
“More of one than I did last time and it’s one that the rehab coordinator Jacob has helped formulate. Tomorrow, after John is moved to the new room, we will give him time to rest and later on in the afternoon or evening, depending on when you meet with Dr. Druthers, Karl will meet with John for a one on one session. Of course, one or both of you are welcome to stay with Johnny during that time. The next day, all of his stitches, except for that large cut on his lower back will be taken out. I’d like to wait a few extra days, considering how deep it went and the size. I would like Chris and Jenny to meet Johnny,” Dr. Early said as he consulted his notes. “I do want to let you know that Karl will be observing how the three get along from outside the room, but he doesn’t want any one of them to know. After a while, you’ll start having family sessions with Johnny.”  
“Can I ask why?” Joanne asked, confused to why he wouldn’t let the kids know ahead of time.  
Smiling, Dr. Early let out the secret he had been hanging onto for a while, “Well, Karl feels that someone raised your two kids very well. Typical kids with typical problems, but also smart, kind and compassionate kids with a good grip on reality. Something not all kids have. He is thinking that since the parents that raised these kids did such a good job, if the kids all get along, than it would probably be a good idea to work on getting Johnny home with the four of them as soon as it is possible. Also, he feels that the family sessions and private sessions are going very well, that the family has a great support system and knows when to turn to that support system when they need help.”  
“Wait, does that mean, if our kids can handle the situation with Johnny, he can come home with us?” Jo asked with disbelief.  
“Yes, it does,” Joe told her, grinning. “It will be a while until John is ready to go home, as there will be goals he will need to meet first.”  
Hugging his wife, Roy thought, Oh, thank God!  
“Knowing our kids, it may take a bit to warm up to him, but I’m not too worried,” Roy said.  
“I’m not either,” Joe admitted. “Just remember, not a word.”  
“We promise,” Roy said. “What are the other goals that you are thinking Johnny has to meet first before coming home?”  
“The first obvious goal is that he is comfortable with your family,” Joe began. “I also want him comfortable with at least one or two other people besides your family so you can take breaks as needed and not become overwhelmed. It will also mean that when your kids have activities that you are needed at or want to attend, there will be someone else to watch out for Johnny until he is able to accompany you to the events. I also need John to be willing and able to work with the nurse who will be coming in to help him out five to six days a week until he is strong enough to bath, eat, and either transfer to a wheelchair or begin using a walker with minimal assistance. The nurse will also be there to help John with exercises that are needed to be done outside of therapy and to show you how to help him accomplish them. That way, when he isn’t around, you are able to help Johnny.”  
“Why can’t we help him out with everything?” Roy interrupted.  
“I know you are willing and capable of doing so, but it’s going to be a very long and hard road. By taking on everything yourselves, you and Jo would burn out quickly. Plus, Chris and Jenny would suffer as well. I, along with Dr. Brackett, feel this is the best compromise since we cannot find a good rehabilitation place that would work well with Johnny and his type of injury. Don’t get me wrong,” Dr. Early held up a hand to stop the protests he could see coming from both Jo and Roy. “You two will be involved in his care and will need to help him out. The nurse won’t be there all day, just mainly in the afternoon and at night since we find patients have the most trouble at that time after going through hours of therapy.  
“I’d like to have someone else besides your family and the nurse that John feels comfortable around, as there will be times he feels resentful and angry towards you. Despite those times when he doesn’t want to listen to you, he still needs to continue on with the therapy program since the first six months are the most critical. Jacob and I hope that by having someone else John can turn to, if there is ever a need, that person can take over for however long it is needed and fill in for you until things calm down.”  
Nodding, Jo agreed that it made sense.  
“I know it can’t be easy what Johnny is about to go through,” she acknowledged. “I’ve seen both he and Roy go through physical therapy before, but I have a feeling this is going to be very different. Especially as Johnny will have to be involved with occupational therapy and possible speech therapy all at once.”  
“A lot of people and kids do get frustrated,” Joe admitted. “The coordinators try to instill a sense of fun, especially for the kids, who need to go through this, but when you go five days a week for hours a day, well, I personally can’t imagine how it must feel. Especially in a case like John’s where he probably won’t understand at first what is going on or why he has to do this.”  
Sighing, Roy shook his head, “We’ll figure out something, maybe some type of reward system to encourage him to keep working towards the goals you set up.”  
“Maybe find out if he’d like to get some books, puzzles or toys,” Jo added in thoughtfully. “And a bigger prize of a family trip to the beach or someplace quiet.”  
“That might actually not be a bad idea,” Dr. Early admitted.  
“Is there anything else, doc?” Roy wondered.  
“No, I don’t think so,” he said slowly, going over the list in his head. “Just that we want to start Johnny on solid foods, get him ready for the idea for the move to a new room on a new floor, have him meet Dr. Druthers, meet your kids, and have you two start looking at various in-home nurses that Jacob has picked out. Although, it may be a bit before Jacob has a list of qualified nurses. Any questions?”   
“Could John have some ice cream as part of solid food?” Roy asked.  
Debating, Dr. Early said, “Why don’t we see how he does with the other stuff until tomorrow, then we can go ahead.”  
“Alright, thanks again, doc,” Roy stood up and shook Joe’s hand.  
“How are Dixie and Dr. Brackett doing by the way?” Joanne asked. “We haven’t really gotten a chance to see them lately with everything going on.”  
“Dixie is having a bit of a hard time,” Dr. Early admitted. “I know she sneaks in at night when John’s asleep and sits with him. Everyone can tell it’s affected her. Dr. Brackett, he really isn’t saying much, but he’s working more than usually. I think it’s his way of just keeping busy so he doesn’t have to think.”  
“And you?” Jo asked gently.  
Sighing, Joe shrugged, “I think I have it easier truthfully. At least I can be here, helping John and you guys. I feel useful.”  
“Why don’t you have Dr. Brackett and Dix come up when Johnny needs his stitches out?” Roy suggested. “It would be good to have him get to know others and it might help if they do the work.”  
“That’s not a bad idea actually,” Joe said, brightening. “I’ll ask them to do it as a favor for me. Thanks, I think it will help.”  
“No problem, I know if it wasn’t for the fact for watching out for our kids and helping us out, Cap and the crew would be going crazy,” Roy said as he blushed.  
“Understandable,” Joe said. “I got to get back to the ER and I have a feeling you have a hungry boy to feed.”  
“At least that hasn’t changed,” Jo said as they parted ways.  
Nodding, Roy asked the nurse if she could have some Jell-O sent up. When that was done, they went back into Johnny’s cubicle to let him know about some more changes that were coming up. Although they were prepared for anything, both of them were glad when the news of being moved to a different floor was received with excitement.  
“You hate the noise, huh?” Roy asked.  
“Yes,” John said empathetically.  
“I would too,” Joanne said. “And we have more good news.”  
Seeing a nurse enter, John shrunk back in his bed.  
“It’s okay,” Roy told him. “I know you said you were hungry, and the doctor said you could have Jell-O.”  
Looking at him confused, Johnny asked, “What?”  
“Have you heard of Jell-O?” Roy asked. “If not, don’t worry.”  
Knowing he was thinking hard by the wrinkle of his forehead, Roy reminded him, “You don’t need to worry if you don’t remember. How about you just try it?”  
“Okay,” Johnny said after a long moment.  
Helping Johnny to hold the spoon in his hand after getting a bit of the red Jell-O on his spoon, Roy guided it to his mouth. Trying not to laugh at the wide-eyed expression on John’s face, Roy watched Johnny move the Jell-O around in his mouth and finally swallow it.  
“So, what do you think,” Jo asked, impatient since neither of the two guys were speaking up and were just giggling.  
“Slimy. Slips, yum,” Johnny announced, still laughing. “Can I more have?”  
“Yes, you can have more,” Joanne said, finally laughing herself.  
Each bite was met with laughter as John experienced what he believed was his first taste of Jell-O. His various reactions and the fact that it would sometimes fall out of his mouth because of the fun they were having was having wasn’t helping things at all. Unknown to all, Dr. Druthers was watching the three interact.   
Finally unable to help himself, Karl stepped into the room after knocking lightly, “Hi, sorry to come in, but you three looked to be having a lot of fun.”  
Suddenly nervous that there was a stranger in the room, Johnny became silent and moved as best as he could towards Roy. Sensing the anxiety, Roy held Johnny’s hand.  
“Johnny,” Roy said patiently and calmly. “This is Dr. Druthers. He is a different type of doctor than Dr. Early. He is someone you just talk to. Both Jo and I talk to him so we know how to help you. Our kids have also been talking with him so they know how to help you.”  
“Your kids do this?” Johnny asked, wide-eyed.  
“Yes, they love you too and think of you as family, just like Uncle Roy and I do,” Joanne assured him.  
“I am sorry for startling you Johnny,” Karl apologized. “I just wanted to say hello. Like I said, that Jell-O looked like fun.”  
“Is,” Johnny said in a near whisper.  
Uncle Roy, Aunt Jo trust, I should. But new, does he like all?  
“You like halfs?” Johnny blurted out, promptly blushing and moving closer to Roy.  
Knowing from previous sessions with Roy and Joanne that Johnny meant half-breeds, Karl knew he had to answer carefully.  
“I don’t see you as half of anything,” he said slowly, making sure that Johnny was following him. “I see you as a person. Just as I see your Uncle Roy as a person. Just as I see your Aunt Joanne as a person. To me, you are whole. From what I hear from other people, you are a wonderful, kind, caring person inside. That says good things about you. Also, a person who laughs eating Jell-O tells me that this is someone I will like to get to know. I will want to get to know you because you are special in a good way.”  
It took a long time for Johnny to figure out what the doctor said. But once he did, he began smiling.  
“I’m glad to see you smile,” Karl said. “I hope tomorrow we can talk.”  
“Why?”  
“I’d like to hear how you feel about all that is happening. All the doctors poking at you,” Dr. Druthers joked. “Anything you’d like. I want to make sure you are doing good and that once you are well, that you are stay happy.”  
Nodding seriously, Johnny turned to Roy, “You do this?”  
“Yes,” Roy said simply.  
“Okay,” Johnny agreed as he turned to Dr. Druthers.  
“Thank you,” Karl said, smiling. “I will see you tomorrow.”  
Leaving Johnny to finish the last bit of Jell-O he had left, Karl barely made it to the elevator before he began laughing.  
Wow, what a mess! But at least John was eating and having fun, as well as Roy and Joanne. I never thought of Jell-O as being so amusing before. I don’t think I will ever look at it in the same way anymore.


	35. Moving on

The next morning, Roy arrived early to help Johnny eat breakfast. As he wasn’t sure if either oatmeal or eggs were familiar to John, Roy was hoping that he’d be at least willing to try them out.

 _I know he’s eaten them before, but I’ve noticed he doesn’t like orange juice anymore for some reason,_ Roy mused to himself. _Probably should bring that up to Doctor Early. I should also remember to bring up the fact that Johnny’s been having more trouble with loud, sudden noises. It’s likely due to how fast he can process information, but better safe than sorry._

“Good morning, Johnny,” Roy said as he entered.

Waking up, Johnny just blinked at him owlishly for a bit as he tried to figure things out.

 _White room, man…Uncle Roy…lotta noise…clinic,_ Johnny slowly figured out as he looked around.

Knowing exactly what was taking place, Roy waited patiently until Johnny yawned and said, “Uncle Roy. Hi.”

“Hi,” Roy smiled down at him. “You awake now?”

“Think so,” John said, uncertainty clouding his voice.

“It’s okay, I don’t like mornings either,” he assured him. “But today is a big day for you.”

Nodding, Johnny told him, “New room.”

“That’s right. And, for breakfast today, you have some oatmeal and eggs with apple juice,” Roy told him as Nurse Northstrom came in with a breakfast tray.

“Good morning, John, Roy,” she nodded to both of them as she sat the tray on the table.

Gather vitals quickly, she said, “Good luck, Johnny.”

Confused, Johnny just nodded as she wrote down the information and left. Sensing the puzzlement, Roy quickly distracted him by helping him sit up and moving the tray into place.

“Alright, here you go.”

“Where is your?” Johnny asked as he tried to grasp a spoon.

Helping him get some eggs on the utensil, Roy explained, “Your aunt Joanne made breakfast at home. I ate there with her, Chris and Jenny.”

Satisfied with the answer, Johnny concentrated on the food. Roy was just relieved that these two foods seemed to be ones that were familiar ones to him, although he was surprised at how quickly the eggs disappeared. Not much of the oatmeal was eaten, not that Johnny seemed to care much for it.

 _Oh, well. Dr. Early didn’t say he couldn’t just eat one type of food. And at least he’s eating,_ Roy thought as he mentally shrugged.

As he asked Johnny if he wanted any more of the apple juice that was barely touched or wanted more eggs, Joanne and Dr. Early came into the room.

“Hi, Johnny,” Jo greeted as she entered the room, coming in to give him a kiss on the forehead. “Looks like you had breakfast. All done?”

“Yes, Aunt Jo,” Johnny told her with a crooked grin. “I got eggs!”

“Really? You like those, huh?” she asked.

“Yes. Good treat,” Johnny giggled. “Like that.”

Smiling herself, Jo bent down and whispered loud enough for others to hear, “Well, where we live, we are very lucky. Eggs are easy to find. We have them a lot.”

“Real?” John looked towards Roy. “You eat eggs lot Uncle Roy?”

“Yep,” he confirmed. “I had them this morning too.”

“Wow!” came the pronouncement.

“Well, young man,” Dr. Early cut in. “If you are done, do you mind if I listen to your heart and lungs?”

Naturally curious, John asked how. Explaining, Dr. Early inserted the ear pieces into his ears and placed the stethoscope on his heart.

“Hear that?” he asked and continued at the nod. “That is your heart.”

Seeing him light up, Joe smiled and took back his instrument.

“Now it’s my turn. If everything sounds good, we can start unhooking you from some things and get you to a quieter place,” Dr. Early said as he began a quick check.

Seeing that everything was doing well, he buzzed the nurse in.

“Alright, first thing is going to be the worst,” Dr. Early warned him. “I’m going to pull the tube out of your nose. You might feel funny, but it will be over fast.”

Seeing the fear on John’s face, Roy gripped his hand and told him, “Look at me Johnny, don’t look at the doctor. It will be over before you can think.”

Describing some of the fires and rescues he had been on, Johnny began forgetting about what was about to take place and Joe was able to get everything ready without him being aware. Deciding it would be best to just say he was going to place his hand by his nose and then pull the tube without warning, Dr. Early did just that. Although shocked at the sensation of feeling as though something was snaking its way through his body and then tugging his nose, once the whole procedure was over, Johnny just coughed and sank into Roy’s arm.

“There, all over,” Roy assured him as he rubbed his back. “That is the worst thing that’ll happen today.”

“Feel funny,” Johnny said, wiping his nose and struggling to sit up.

“What do you mean by feel funny?” Dr. Early asked as the nurse reached for the basin just in case.

“Like snake up body, out nose,” Johnny said.

“Oh! That’s how it felt, huh sweetie?” Joanne asked.

“Yeah,” John said, making a face.

All the people in the room, except the patient, struggled not to laugh at the expression.

“I’m sorry about that Johnny. I promise, this next thing may feel funny, but just because it’s sticky,” Dr. Early told him. “I’m going to take off the wires and pads that have been telling us how your heart has been doing. Ready?”

“I guess,” Johnny finally said, drawing out the last word.

Smiling, Joe pulled back the gown just enough to start disconnecting the leads. Soon enough, that task was over.

“Now, we are just going to roll you on this bed to a new room a couple floors up,” Dr. Early warned Johnny as he started making sure all the bags and IV’s were hooked onto the bed for transport. “There are a couple of people outside this room who will help so we don’t hit anything with you.”

“Uncle Roy, Aunt Jo come?” Johnny asked with fear lacing his voice.

“We’ll be right next to you as we head upstairs,” Joanne promised. “I’ll be here for most of today if you don’t mind and Uncle Roy will stay to help you with supper.”

“Okay,” Johnny said.

Joe nodded to the nurse that she could leave and send in the two orderlies. Soon, Johnny was in his new room on the Nuero Step-down Unit. Once there, Johnny was beginning to nod off, so the DeSoto’s and Dr. Early went to the visitors lounge so Joe could explain the differences between the ICU and Neuro Step-down Unit.

“We call this the NSU for short. Things are run differently here than other floors and you will notice that both children and adults are on this floor. Some patients are here for just a short time, while others are here for a much longer time period. As such, the rooms are private and just a bit bigger than the ICU cubicles. That way, therapy can be accomplished in the patient’s room when needed. As far as Johnny’s case goes,” Joe said. “Until he is able to get to the bathroom with assistance and is unhooked from the catheter, he will be getting therapy in his room. I’m not sure how long that will take, it will be up to his physical and occupational therapists to determine. I also would like to have him removed from the central line as well before he heads down to the rehab department since taking outside of the NSU would mean opening up the possibility for more infection.

“To get to that point, Johnny will have to start consuming more calories. He is doing well,” Dr. Early assured them. “He is very much on track, but I am still uncomfortable not supplementing what he is eating during the day with tube feedings at night.”

“Is there anything we can do to help him get to that point?” Joanne wondered. “I’m sure that we can bring in meals that John might enjoy if that will help.”

“Well,” Roy squirmed a bit. “I’m not sure if the same things Johnny liked before are the same. I noticed that he’s refusing to eat some of the foods he had eaten before. Like this morning, I could tell he really didn’t enjoy the oatmeal, yet he was trying to eat it anyway. Probably because we told him he needed to eat.”

“It’s possible that his tastes have changed,” Joe acknowledged after a great deal of thought. “I would just recommend encouraging him to try different foods and letting Johnny know if he doesn’t like a certain food, to let you know.”

“Of course, some foods, I will require him to eat,” Jo said a bit forcefully.

At their looks, she huffed out, “What? We are going to be responsible for John, so he is going to have to learn that he will need to eat his fruits and veggies, just as our kids do.”

Laughing, Roy wrapped his arm around her, “True. I won’t argue with that one.”

“That would be good to enforce,” Joe agreed. “Anyway, I’m all for you and whoever else would like to bring Johnny food to try. On this floor, there is a separate small kitchen area for the patients where both dry and cold foods can be stored. There is also a microwave that a patient’s family donated a year or so ago so food can be warmed up. All a patient or their family needs to do is make sure their name is written on the food item. Then, whenever Johnny is hungry, he can ask them for food, even if it is in the middle of the night.”

“Wow, nice service,” Roy murmured.

“Well, right now, the goal is to get him to learn how to eat properly again. Whatever we can do here to make sure that starts happening as soon as possible as well as that his nutritional needs are met, the better things will be for Johnny,” Dr. Early said. “Once John is eating more normal meals and no longer has the feeding tube to supplement the meals, you will have to meet with a nutritionist since it will be important in John’s recovery to have healthy, well-rounded meals.”

“That won’t be a problem, doc,” Roy smiled. “Joanne already does quite well with that.”

“That’s what I’ve heard, but this is something new the hospital is trying out and is requiring,” Dr. Early admitted. “It’ll be up to the families afterwards to keep it up, but Rampart does want at least one meeting since studies are showing proper nutrition possibly could shorten the recovery process. I’m honestly not sure how they will be able to prove that or if it’s true, as everyone heals at their own pace, but you know how these things go.”

“Do I ever,” Roy muttered, remember the many times the L.A.F.D. experimented with a new policy that crashed and burned.

“Moving on,” Joe said, getting back on track. “Normally visitors are allowed between 10:00 am and 8:00 pm, as long as it doesn’t interfere with therapy or anything else. In this case though, your family and the person, or people, who are going to help you out is welcome to come by any time. The nurses here have already been informed about that and it is written down on John’s chart. As far as the set-up for nurses go, like in the ICU, the nurses here are on twelve hour shifts and are assigned the same patients each time they are on. It’s been found it is a lot easier for both the nurses and the patients if things are switched around and a routine is kept. Other nurses will help out if needed of course. The main difference in nurses here is that they have additional, specialized training in the neurology field, so they know what to look for with head injuries and how to deal with patients suffering from those injuries. It makes life a lot easier on everyone, the patients, doctors and families we have found.

“One thing to be aware of is when Johnny is better able to get around, there are a few rooms behind this waiting room. They are for family gatherings so you won’t have to crowd into a small room. There are also games, toys, books along with chairs and tables in there. Usually, unless you ask a nurse to reserve a room for a time or a doctor has the room set aside, the rooms are available on a first come, first serve bases. I honestly don’t know how quickly they fill up,” Joe told them, seeing Roy and Joanne about to ask. “I do know that John will be spending his time here until he is able to go home with you as I don’t want him to experience too many changes. I, as well as Karl, Jacob and Dr. Brackett feel that the fewer changes John experiences, the faster Johnny will learn to trust people and the faster he will begin to heal.”

Nodding, Roy agreed, “Yeah, I could tell how hard it was on him just moving to this floor and being introduced to Nurse Mays. It’s hard seeing him like this, when all the time I’ve known him, he has been like this, I don’t know…powerful force who takes life head on.”

“Somehow, we’ll get him through,” Jo gently reminded her husband. “And he is learning to trust us. Remember, just last night, he told us a bit about his mom and dad.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he ever told us that stuff before,” Roy smiled.

“Can I ask what?” Joe curiously asked.

“Well, we’re not too sure what he was talking about,” Jo admitted.

“Something about his mom teaching him or trying to teach him and his dad the stomp opvnetv,” she pronounced carefully. “We asked him what it meant and he couldn’t explain what it meant, just kept repeating it for a bit, so we’re not sure. And then something about his dad trying to teach his mom and him about checkers.”

“We really should make sure to bring our board here for him soon,” Roy mentioned. “Although, I can’t remember the last time either of us played or where it ended up.”

“Ahh, we can always get another one,” Jo told him. “Maybe we should anyway. One that is just his if we can’t find one in his apartment.”

“That would be a great idea, it would help connect him to his past and probably make him feel more secure with you two,” Dr. Early told them. “As far as the word you can’t figure out, it could just be part of his native language that his mom taught him. Just give it some more time and don’t worry if he can’t remember the English words for it.”

“But why would he remember his native language now?” Roy questioned. “As far as I was aware, he never could speak it.”

“It is possible that he did remember it, but it was buried in his memory,” Dr. Early concluded. “And as far as not speaking it or realizing he could speak it, if someone doesn’t speak a language for years on end, it is very easy to forget that they know it, let alone remember how to speak it. Since it was likely that Johnny learned the language when he was very young, having the head injury awaken the childhood in him probably also awakened the language he knew besides English. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if there were other things that he remembers or begins to remember that he wasn’t aware of as an adult.”

“So, we just basically just need to go with the flow and try not to act surprised when things like this come up?” Jo summarized.

“More or less,” Joe nodded. “You can ask questions, as that will hopefully show that you are interested in him, but be prepared to back off and realize that some things may be too upsetting for him. Right now, we don’t know what will upset him or won’t. It’s a guessing game.”

“However, it’s better to show him we care about his culture than not,” Roy thought out loud.

“Exactly. If you ignored it, he would shut down and that could lead John to shutting down in other areas as well,” Dr. Early agreed. “It’s a tricky balancing act unfortunately.”

After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “Are there any questions that you have for me or anything I should know about?”

Once again looking towards one another in silent communication, Jo answered for both of them, “No, I don’t think so. At least not today. I think we got things figured out as far as today goes. Have Dr. Druthers and Johnny have a one-on-one session with us there, keep getting him to eat solid foods when he is awake. Other than that, just let him rest.”

“Yep, that’s it,” Joe smiled. “Feel free to ask him about his family some more if you’d like or read to him. We have some kids books around here somewhere, just ask the nurse if you need help. Also, if you have questions, just ask Nurse Mays and if she doesn’t know, she’ll have me called. I’ll be back later to check on John and Jo, I’ll be sure to schedule an appointment for tomorrow morning to have the ophthalmologist visit to make sure everything is fine with Johnny’s eyes. I wouldn’t worry too much yet at this time about the fact that he’s told you his vision is blurry. It is very common with head injuries and hopefully should go away in time.”

Standing up, Roy shook the doctor’s hand, “Thanks for everything. I know how much time you’ve been putting into helping us and well, we appreciate it.”

“As I’ve said before, it’s no problem,” Joe assured him as he gave Jo a small hug. “I’m just glad things are working out in your favor and that John has such a great support group. I know this isn’t easy on any of you, so anything I or anyone else can do, well, just let us know.”

“We will,” Jo confirmed as she and Roy headed towards Johnny’s new room while Dr. Early headed towards the elevator. “And let Dr. Brackett and Dixie know that we’ll start preparing John for them coming up tomorrow.”

“Will do,” Dr. Early said, departing the floor, smiling at the two of them.

_Those two are amazing. Despite everything going on, they are still making time for their kids and being there for them. They are also making sure to watch out for others who worry about Johnny. I know the other Station 51 crew has been helping out a lot with the nitty gritty details, but I have to admit, I feel blessed for being included in their group of friends._


	36. Morning in the NSU

As the DeSoto family had decided after leaving the NSU for the night, Roy got up early enough to spend some time with Joanne and the kids before leaving for the hospital. All four of them felt it was important that someone at least somewhat familiar would be there to help Johnny during his meals since he was still struggling to do so himself. Promising to see them later, he headed to the hospital and was there just as the NSU day nurse was finishing up the first vital checks of the day.

“Good morning, Johnny,” Roy greeted.

“‘Orning,” Johnny returned through a yawn, rubbing his eyes. “Why you here so early?”

“I thought if you didn’t mind, I could help you with breakfast again,” Roy told him, helping him to sit up.

Shrugging carefully, Johnny didn’t answer.

“Well, the breakfast tray will be here in a minute or two,” the nurse told them. “I just peeked around the corner and saw them. It’s up to you though Johnny. I’d be more than willing to help you if you’d like. Although, it seems like your Uncle Roy came here early to help you and in my eyes, that says a lot about how much he cares about you.”

Blushing, Roy nodded his thanks towards her, not aware that she'd been appraised of the situation by Doctor Druthers and Doctor Early, nor that there were notes inside of John’s chat to have the nurses encourage the Johnny to interact with the DeSoto family, along with Mike Stoker and anyone else Roy or Joanne felt was best. The nurses were also told to find ways to reinforce the fact that the DeSoto family really did care about him.

“Thanks,” Roy mumbled.

“No problem. I’m just glad he has such a great family looking out for him,” she said truthfully. “I’m Nurse Aylen Andrews, I don’t believe we’ve met face to face yet. I’ll be with Johnny during the day while he’s here.”

Shaking her hand, Roy began to speak, but was interrupted by a candy stripper entering with a breakfast tray.

“Well, Johnny? Would you like your Uncle Roy to help or would you rather I stick around to help?” Nurse Andrews asked.

“I don’t know,” John mumbled, unsure by all of the attention and slipped further down into his bed.

“How about I just call if we need anything?” suggested Roy. “I’m sure most of this he can handle by himself anyway.”

“Alright, I’ll be by to check on you two later,” she promised, smiling as she almost bounced out the room.

Not sure how to start now that he was alone, Roy cleared his throat.

“She seems nice,” he said.

“Yeah,” Johnny said while reaching for his breakfast on the bedside tray near him.

Seeing the wince, Roy quickly came over and gently pushed him back against the bed.

“Hang on and let me help,” he said quietly. “You still have a lot of tubes hooked up to you and I bet the stitches everywhere can’t feel too good either.”

“No,” John admitted. “Wish I could ‘member how I come here.”

Shuddering as he remembered, Roy answered, “Trust me when I say how you got hurt is something best forgotten.”

Titling his head, John wonder, “You there?”

“Was I there when you were hurt?” Roy asked to clarify. Seeing the nod yes, he answered very slowly, “Yes, I was. It was very scary for me. I also had to treat you before you came to the hospital and that was hard. Aunt Jo came as soon as she heard and we both were worried about what would happen to you. The only thing both of us knew was that we would be by your side no matter what.”

_How come these strangers are so worried me? The only people who acted like that were my parents. I don’t know why, but I think this family who say they know me care for me just as much as ma and dad did,_ Johnny slowly worked out in his as he thought through what this man calling himself Uncle Roy told him. _I can’t remember him, or much after November, but how can someone be that scared over someone they don’t know? They got to know me somehow, but why don’t I know them? Or their kids?_

“What you thinking about, Junior?” Roy asked with concern lacing his voice.

“You gotta know me,” Johnny said as confidently as he could. “Only ma and dad be as be like you, fear for me like you had. Can see it on face when you told me ‘bout it. But why I don’t know you…? And why you call me that name?”

“Junior? Well, I’m not really sure,” Roy admitted. “I’ve always called you that since I first met you. It just seemed to fit for some reason. As far as not remembering us, your head was hurt fairly bad so that is why.”

Not really sure how much more to tell him at this point, Roy decided to distract Johnny the best way he knew how, with food.

“Doctor Druthers, the person helping our family deal with things, will be coming by to see you later. Just to talk and make sure you are doing okay,” Roy halted the flow of apprehension that he could see about to come out.

_At least some things don’t change,_ he thought with a smirk.

“For now, how about we get this breakfast eaten before it gets any colder?” pulling back the cover over the plate, Roy announced, “It looks like you’ve been upgraded to toast along with the oatmeal and eggs.”

Seeing the scrunched up face Johnny was making, Roy tried to hold back his laughter while he asked, “What?”

“Oatmeal gross.”

Breaking out into laughter now, Roy nudged the offending food to the side, “I don’t blame you. The hospital version is worse and shouldn’t even be called oatmeal. I’ll tell you what. I’ll help you make it disappear somehow and tomorrow, I’ll have Aunt Jo cook you something better.”

“No!” John’s face had pure panic. “Don’t work more.”

“Okay, calm down,” Roy was alarmed. “Just calm down, slow your breathing, there you go. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

“No telling, please,” John pleaded, casting his brown eyes up towards Roy.

Sitting down, Roy asked why.

“She won’t like me no more. Too much work, nowhere go,” Johnny tried explaining.

Even though his thoughts were mixed up, Roy got the gist of what worried Johnny and tried to reassure him.

“Trust me, she won’t mind. She does it for Chris and Jenny almost every morning. The mornings she doesn’t, I do,” Roy explained. “Aunt Jo won’t mind doing this because she loves you and thinks of you as part of our family. She, along with our kids, will do anything to help you out. If that means finding a way of getting you food that isn’t gross hospital food, they will be happy to do so.”

“Real?”

“Yes,” Roy said firmly. “In fact, I wasn’t going to tell you this because Aunt Jo and the kids wanted to surprise you, but I know they will get why I told you this now. Tomorrow for supper time, all five of us are going to eat as a family here. You may not be able to eat the same foods yet, but we want to eat as a family.”

Smiling and a lot calmer, Johnny started relaxing into his bed as tears started slipping down his cheeks. Wiping them away without fuss, knowing that over emotions and mood swings were just part of the head injury, Roy waited until John tried saying he was sorry.

“Don’t worry about that, it will happen. Your emotions will go up and down for a while yet. I know that, Aunt Jo knows that, so do Chris and Jenny,” Roy told him. “We accept you for who you are. Now, how about we get you some breakfast that isn’t cold and gross?”

Laughing, Johnny wondered, “Allowed?”

“I’m sure they will, just hang on while I take this to the nurses' desk, okay?” Roy said, not letting on to the fact he had seen Dr. Druthers outside John’s room just now.

As he was exiting the room, he closed the door part way to talk to the doctor without Johnny overhearing.

“So, when did you come in?” Roy questioned Karl.

“The nurse heard some raised voices and decided it might be best to call me,” he admitted. “I think she heard you talking about the injuries and may have been worried about how he reacting. I was going to leave when I heard you two going on about the oatmeal and well, what can I say, after that, I stuck around a bit.”

Nodding, Roy stuck the tray into an empty slot of the food tray cart.

“I wanted to see if you could handle things on your own first,” he went on. “I have to admit that you did better than I would expect of someone just learning to deal with a family member.”

Sighing, Roy said, “It was difficult, but I tried to remember my paramedic training. It also wasn’t about me, so I couldn’t get upset. If I did, it would be worse for Johnny, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What time are you coming to see him today?” Roy changed the subject, a bit uncomfortable discussing the current subject.

“I was thinking this afternoon, around 1:30,” Karl said. “I know you and Joanne said that she would be here this afternoon. This way, it gives Johnny a chance to eat and rest before I come as well. It’ll be just like we talked about. For the most part, you two can stay if he is comfortable with that, although I would like some time with just the two of us. Again, that will be up to John.”

“Alright, sounds good,” Roy said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I better go grab some food for Johnny before he starves.”

Both of them laughed at that; Karl because he couldn’t imagine that when someone was still on central IV feedings and Roy because he knew how true it was. Tracking down a nurse, Roy appraised her of the situation and asked her if it was possible to order something from downstairs. Immediately willing, she called in a double order of eggs, toast, apple juice and some milk.

“It’ll be up here in about ten to fifteen minutes,” she told him. “We have some juice on hand if you’d like to take it to John.”

“Thanks, I can get it,” he said.

Knowing that he had full access to the floor as per order from more than one doctor, she simply smiled at him and went about her business while he delivered the orange juice to Johnny.

Seeing the look on John’s face when he brought it, Roy explained, “It’s gonna be a few minutes before your breakfast comes up, so it’s either this or you can wait. It’s up to you.”

“You mean, I don’t hafta drink it?” Johnny asked with shock.

“No,” Roy said.

Thinking about how John reacted, Roy wondered more about John’s time at what he had called ‘The Ranch’.

“Were you ever forced to drink or eat stuff you didn’t like?” he asked cautiously.

“Sometimes,” Johnny wrinkled up his nose.

“Like when?” Roy prodded, sitting closer to him.

“Like veggies, mom said they good for me,” John said as he made a face that clearly said he thought they were disgusting.

Smiling, Roy told him, “I don’t blame you, some of them aren’t too tasty. But your mom was right, sometimes we do have to eat things like fruits and veggies since they are good for our bodies. Aunt Jo tries to at least serve things we like to eat and that are good for us.”

Johnny smiled, “Few choices there. Ate what grew.”

“Sounds like it,” Roy tried not to sound sad at that thought, but wasn’t sure how successful he was. “Anything else you ever were made to eat? Like maybe after your parents were gone.”

Nodding slowly, Johnny asked, “Lots. Lemons, white water tastes worse. Soap. If we were bad, forgot rule, forgot something, broke something, had to have it. No water after.”

Stunned, Roy stared at him, _How can anyone do that to a child, let alone a group of children entrusted into their care?_

Thankfully, Roy was spared from coming up from coming up with a comment as Johnny’s new breakfast tray arrived. Getting everything set, he saw the smile that brightened John’s face.

_It looks just like Chris’ would whenever he would get something he had wanting for a while…_

“I don’t know why those people did what they did to you or those other kids,” Roy began shakily. “But I can promise you that even if you do something wrong, we won’t do those things to you. The worse punishment our kids have gotten is grounding, meaning they are sent to their rooms, not allowed to go out with their friends or able to do some activity they like for a certain time period. We have never laid a hand on them in anger. We have never forced them to eat things like that. Okay?”

Looking towards the man he was beginning to think of as Uncle Roy in not just name, Johnny sought out reassurances that he was telling the truth. John finally found it and in doing so, began letting down his guard.

“Let’s get this eaten, huh?” Roy asked after seeing John nod his head.

_I don’t know what just happened, but whatever did, seems to be a good thing. He’s actually allowing me to steady the spoon with the eggs and I don’t think it’s because he’s that hungry,_ Roy thought to himself. _I just am glad Johnny is starting to see I am on his side. Hopefully, that’ll translate over to the rest of the family._

Breathing a sigh of relief, the rest of the breakfast was quickly eaten. As soon as the last bite was taken, Johnny tried stretching as he yawned.

“You can’t do that quite yet,” Roy let John know. “Doctor Early will be in a couple hours to check on you. He’ll be able to let us know when you can be free of some of these tubes and get the stitches out.”

Nodding sleepily, Johnny watched as Roy rolled the tray away from the bedside and lowered the bed down.

“Why don’t you sleep a bit? I got to go downstairs for a bit for my job, but if you need me, just ask your nurse, okay? Someone will come and get me,” Roy informed Johnny.

“You sure it okay?”

“I’m sure it’s okay to ask for me. You can also ask the nurses any questions you have. You just press this button,” Roy pretended to push it. “And then someone will come in, alright? Do you need anything before I go?”

Thinking, John shook his head no.

“Ok,” Roy smiled at him and pulled up the blankets as his eyes closed. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Exiting quietly after making sure John was asleep, he went to the nurses’ station to let Nurse Andrews know what was going on.

“I’m going to be heading down to the ER to talk with Dr. Brackett. I’m not sure how long it will be, but I told Johnny how to call for you and that it was okay to ask you anything,” he said a bit sheepishly. “I also told him to ask for me if he needed me, but if you could call downstairs when he wakes up please.”

“Sure, no problem,” she assured him. “I’ll keep a good eye on him for you. Don’t worry about a thing. Did you get his vitals while you were in there?”

“Just once,” Roy said. “I thought breakfast was more important.”

“That it is,” she smiled. “Besides, I’ll just note that you were with him and there will be no issues, so go on, get out of here before he wakes up.”

“I’m going, I’m going!” Roy joked backed. “But, seriously, thanks.”

At her glared, he waved and headed to the elevators. It was time to talk to Doctor Brackett about his offer of training incoming paramedics.


	37. Afternoon in the NSU

Even though Roy spent nearly a half-hour waiting for Doctor Brackett to finish up with patients and spent another hour going over what would be his new job responsibilities, Roy was still able to manage to make it back to Johnny’s room before he woke up. Anticipating a wait, he pulled out his book, looked at and sighed.

 _There is just no way I can read right now… I can’t believe how much Dr. Brackett is hoping I can bring to the paramedic program considering the changes they want to make. I know I’ve been able to do well training new paramedics before, but I hope I don’t let them down when I start teaching the skills needed out in the field. Then, I have the, what did he call it?_ Roy thought back. _Oh, yes. The “privilege” of deciding which current paramedic team will mentor someone before they become an official paramedic. At least now the fire department and hospital are allowing a four month in-the-field training after a month working in the Emergency Department under the teachers and doctors guidance. I know it would have been a lot scarier and it would have been far harder if we hadn’t worked with the nurses before the bill had passed. I just wonder what other changes are in store. I guess I should be glad that changes are finally being made that will benefit both the paramedic trainees and the public. I am curious as to who the other Paramedic Captains will be._

Sensing movement from both the doorway and the bed, Roy glanced towards Johnny before seeing who was entering.

“Hey, Dr. Early, he’s just waking up,” Roy greeted.

“I got time and I actually wanted to ask if it was okay if Doctor Morton came in with me today.”

Shrugging, Roy looked around to the black doctor, “I don’t know what he’ll say, but why not? I know Dr. Brackett and Dixie are going to try and come to see him the day after tomorrow.”

Nodding, the two doctors entered slowly as John woke up. After giving him a while to gather himself, Dr. Early smiled down at him before taking a seat.

“Good morning John. How are you doing?” he cheerfully asked.

“Okay,” was the short reply as suspicious eyes crept to Dr. Morton.

“This is Dr. Morton. He works in the ER like I do. Today I need to take out some of your stitches, so I needed some help. Is that okay with you?”

Staring at Morton for a bit, Johnny slid his eyes towards Roy. Not saying anything, Roy tried to convey that it was up to him. Seeing there wasn’t any fear or concern in his new uncle’s eyes, Johnny slowly nodded.

“Guess so,” he slowly said as he turned back to them. “Going to hurt?”

“It shouldn’t hurt,” Mike reassured him. “You might feel some tugging on your skin, but if it does hurt, just let us know and we’ll stop. Is that a deal?”

“Deal?”

“Deal, like, oh,” Mike fumbled for the right way to word it. “You agree if it hurts, you let us know and we stop. Deal.”

“Oh.” John thought carefully for a moment before pronouncing, “Deal.”

Smiling slightly, Dr. Morton turned the first part of the exam over to Joe. It went fairly quickly as Johnny was getting used to being prodded and poked by the gentle doctor, although everyone in the room could tell he hated it.

“Alright, we are done with that for now. I do want to talk to you about something and I think this will make you happy,” Doctor Early smiled as he talked. “I think you are doing well enough that we can get rid of this line coming out of your head. Also, since you’re eating so well, I can also take the line that is coming out of your shoulder. That one was proving extra food directly to your stomach, but as long as your Uncle Roy and Aunt Joanne add some vitamins and supplements I’ll be giving them to your food, I know you will be fine.”

“Hurt?” John asked quickly, not caring about anything else.

“It won’t hurt when we take them out,” Joe promised him. “We can give you medications so that you sleep right through this. After, your stomach may feel a bit sore, but we can help with that if it gets real bad. Where we take the lines out, I will put stitches in, so they may itch, but that is it.”

Johnny groaned without thinking, then gasped when he realized it. Fearfully, he looked up at the adults. Instead of them being angry however, they were smiling at him.

 _Why are they smiling? Why are they not mad at me? Why are they not yelling at me?_ he wondered, confused.

Seeing the look, Roy quickly explained, “We won’t get upset for you telling us how you feel or what you are thinking. We want to know these things and it is because we care about you. Not just my family and I, but both of these doctors here.”

Nodding sheepishly, Johnny whispered an apology.

Shaking his head, Roy said, “I think that is one thing we’ll talk about with Dr. Druthers this afternoon. For now, though, let’s focus on what is being talked about right now, okay?”

When John nodded in agreement, Roy questioned, “So, when do you want to take out the two lines?”

“Sometime this evening. That way, I can give you something to help you sleep through the night and hopefully, it won’t be so bad in the morning,” Dr. Early said, directing his comment towards Johnny. “It does mean that you cannot eat supper tonight, but you can eat lunch. I trust Jo is bringing something?”

“Yep, she said it was going to be a surprise for two of her favorite boys since her third was at sports camp.”

“Well, shall we get those stitches out? I have a feeling she’ll be here soon.”

“Please,” Johnny said. “Itchy!”

Trying to suppress a chuckle by couching, Joe just nodded. Grabbing the supplies, he and Mike got to work. Within a few minutes, all of the remaining stitches with the exception of the largest cut on his lower back were gone.

“Done,” Mike pronounced. “Was that so bad?”

“No,” Johnny said in wonderment. “Just funny.”

“Any more questions for me, Johnny?” Dr. Morton asked, hoping that the plan he, Joe, and Kel had come up with might work.

“You real doctor?” Johnny asked quietly.

“Yes, I am. I worked very hard even when people would say that someone of my color shouldn’t be a doctor. I did that as I wanted to be a doctor very much. I looked for people who could see me for who I was and what I could do, not just what I looked like,” Mike explained slowly as he made sure Johnny was listening. “I found people who didn’t care I was black, just that I was a good doctor. That is why I am here.

“Just like the doctors here and your Uncle Roy, Aunt Joanne, their kids, as well as their friends who know you, they see you for who you are. They see past your skin color. They care about you for who you are,” Doctor Morton went on in a gentle manner. “Does that make sense to you?”

“Like me for me?” John looked up at the doctor.

“Yes, to them and to most people, they remember who you are and are willing to be wait for you to get to know them again.”

Nodding, Johnny said, “Think can try. Scary.”

“That’s okay. I get that. All we want is for you to try, okay?” Dr. Morton said. “And if you ever wonder why they like you, just ask them or I can come up when I have free time to talk, okay?”

“‘Kay,” Johnny agreed. “Thank.”

“I don’t mind,” Mike said, relieved that his part in helping John start to understand his value and place in people’s lives weren’t based on his heritage. “Just remember, you can ask or tell us anything.”

“Even if just hungry?” John looked up, blushing as his stomach growled.

Smiling, Roy acknowledged, “Even if you’re hungry, we want you to let us know.”

“Ahh, just in time too,” Joe said as he spotted Joanne entering with a couple of totes of what he could only imagine were filled with her delicious cooking. “I am sure you are going to love your Aunt Jo’s cooking a lot more than the hospitals.”

As the gathered up the supplies, Doctor Early told Joanne the plans for later that night and that he would send the need supplements for food up as soon as he could. With that, he and Mike left the three to enjoy Jo’s lasagna with garlic bread.

Unfortunately, they were only half way through when Dr. Druthers appeared. Disappointed, Johnny set down his fork and sighed, figuring that lunch would have to wait.

Smiling, Karl encouraged him, “Don’t stop on my account. That food smells too good to wait. I can always just talk to you about some things I wanted to first anyway. You can speak up, interrupt, or just let me ramble on if you’d like. It’s up to you.”

“Real?” Johnny looked gratefully at him.

“Really,” Karl assured him.

As the three of them ate, Doctor Druthers explained that anything they talked about would be kept a secret unless he was worried John would hurt himself, it would affect his recovery, or it was something that his family needed to know about.

“What I want to know is how you feel about things, so that I know you are happy and healthy as much as possible. If you have a bad day or a good day, I’d like to know why. If you are mad, or sad, or upset about something, let me know. I can try to help you find out why and how to deal with it. Things won’t be easy for a while,” Karl cautioned. “I am more than happy to stick around and help you, just as I have been helping your family and their friends. You can talk with me by yourself or have someone with you if you would like. It is up to you and you can always change your mind during our talks. Your Uncle Roy and Aunt Jo have already said that they wouldn’t mind being told that you want them to leave. I would like to talk to you alone when you are ready.”

Johnny took in what this doctor was saying. Unsure of what to do or say, he just continued eating until he couldn’t eat anymore. Still, he stayed silent. Neither one of the three adults spoke, content just to allow him to think things through.

“Black doctor say color don’t matter to them,” John started speaking slowly and quietly. “I see in head faces that look hurt, look scared. It is cause I hurt. The people stay by me, help me, make me feel better. Don’t know them, but they say they know me. Say they Uncle Roy, Aunt Jo, Chris, Jenny, Uncle…”

Sighing in frustration, John moves his fork around his plate, “Can’t **‘MEMBER!** Hard, hate it. But think I trust them. Not sure why. Just do. Uncle Roy, Aunt Jo like ma and dad. Like it even though scary. Wish I could know them.”

As Roy and Joanne put a hand on Johnny, Karl spoke up, “I know none of us can know what you feel, but I am sorry you feel that way. You will have a hard time remembering things, even day to day things for a while. It is normal.”

“Uncle Roy says head got hurt,” Johnny told him. “That why.”

“Yes, that is why,” Dr. Druthers confirmed. “You can trust them. They are willing to help you in any way you need. We just need you to hang in here and work with us as we learn how to best help us.”

“What you mean?” Johnny looked up seriously.

“We know you hurt your head and that you can’t remember things. That you may feel good one minute and down the next, right?”

“Yes…”

“Well, I, along with Doctor Early, aren’t sure what else you may struggle with. That is why tomorrow, if you are feeling well enough, there are some people who will be coming to see you,” Karl explained. “These people will be able to help us know if you will have trouble with anything else.”

Seeing the panic develop on John’s face, Karl was quick to let him know, “If you do have trouble with anything, these people can help us by working with you so that you get better and don’t have so much trouble anymore. You don’t need to worry as anyone with head injuries as bad as yours usually does need some help to get back to how they were before. All of us, your family and your doctors, will be with you every step of the way.”

“Scared,” Johnny almost whimpered.

“Shhh, I know sweetie,” Joanne hugged him as tightly as possible. “Uncle Roy and I aren’t though, so can you trust us enough to try to work with the people who want to help?”

Squeezing his eyes tight, John nodded.

“That’s good,” Dr. Druthers praised. “Are you scared or worried about anything else right now?”

“Tubes.”

“Tubes?” he asked, a bit confused.

“Dr. Early is removing the central feeding IV and ICP bolt tonight,” Roy explained, a bit confused that Karl wasn’t aware.

“Oh, that!” he was a bit embarrassed that he didn’t understand right away. “Did Doctor Early explain what would happen, Johnny?”

“No.”

“Well, I am no surgeon, but from what I know, the nurse will be in about an hour to give you a medication that will make you very sleepy. By the time you are moved from your bed here to another one, you should be almost asleep. Your aunt and uncle will stay with you as you are taken up to a place where you will be given a different medication that will put you to sleep,” Karl explained. “While you are sleeping, the tubes will be taken out. Where the tubes came out of your skin, you will have stitches. Does this make sense so far?”

“Won’t feel?” Johnny asked nervously.

“No, not at all,” Roy promised. “After the tubes are taken out, Aunt Jo and I will be with you again. You will be in a different room for a bit as you wake up. Once you are awake, you’ll come back down here and sleep through the night. From what Doctor Early said, you may hurt a bit in your stomach area and a bit in your shoulder area, but it shouldn’t be too bad. If it does hurt, just let us know, okay?”

“You be here?” Johnny looked towards Roy.

“Yes, I’ll be here when you are moved and when you wake up. I promise,” Roy assured him.

Heaving a sigh, John mumbled, “Hate this.”

“I know, sweetie,” Joanne rubbed his arm. “I wish we could make you all better right now, but we can’t. We can promise we’ll be here for you.”

“Is there anything else you would like to talk about?” Karl asked as he looked at the clock and saw that it was nearing the time when the nursing staff would begin the pre-operative work up.

Shaking his head no, Johnny slid down a bit in bed and winced.

Deciding not to comment, Dr. Druthers stood up and said with a smile, “I’ll come back to check on you tomorrow night. Otherwise, remember, if you need anything, just let someone know what you need. Everyone is willing and happy to help you out in any way.”

“Okay,” John told him, obviously not happy with the upcoming events.

“I know you aren’t looking forward to getting the tubes out, but just think, this is another step towards you getting out of the hospital,” Karl reminded Johnny. “Plus, I bet your Uncle Roy is going to be spending the night here so no one worries.”

“How’d you know?” Roy asked shocked.

“I’ve talked to you enough,” Karl grinned at him. “And John, don’t feel guilty. Having your Uncle Roy stay here with you is the only way he and his family will get sleep tonight. If he wasn’t here, they’d be wondering if you were alright. It’s just a part of being a part of a family that loves and cares about you, so don’t feel bad.”

Nodding, Johnny wondered, _How’d he know I felt that way?_

“It’s written on your face, Junior,” Roy said.

Shock appeared next, causing the three adults to chuckle.

“Don’t worry,” Joanne assured Johnny in a whisper. “What Uncle Roy doesn’t know is that I can read the rest of the family just as well as he can read you. It all evens out.”

Unsure what she meant, John just nodded and waved as Karl took his leave as his day nurse came in. Knowing what that meant, he sighed heavily and tried not to panic. Thankfully, within the hour, he was up in surgery and by the next morning, John had no recollection of being moved to surgery or back to his room.


	38. Johnny's Session

Even though Roy spent nearly a half-hour waiting for Doctor Brackett to finish up with patients and spent another hour going over what would be his new job responsibilities, Roy was still able to manage to make it back to Johnny’s room before he woke up. Anticipating a wait, he pulled out his book, looked at and sighed.

 _There is just no way I can read right now… I can’t believe how much Dr. Brackett is hoping I can bring to the paramedic program considering the changes they want to make. I know I’ve been able to do well training new paramedics before, but I hope I don’t let them down when I start teaching the skills needed out in the field. Then, I have the, what did he call it?_ Roy thought back. _Oh, yes. The “privilege” of deciding which current paramedic team will mentor someone before they become an official paramedic. At least now the fire department and hospital are allowing a four month in-the-field training after a month working in the Emergency Department under the teachers and doctors guidance. I know it would have been a lot scarier and it would have been far harder if we hadn’t worked with the nurses before the bill had passed. I just wonder what other changes are in store. I guess I should be glad that changes are finally being made that will benefit both the paramedic trainees and the public. I am curious as to who the other Paramedic Captains will be._

Sensing movement from both the doorway and the bed, Roy glanced towards Johnny before seeing who was entering.

“Hey, Dr. Early, he’s just waking up,” Roy greeted.

“I got time and I actually wanted to ask if it was okay if Doctor Morton came in with me today.”

Shrugging, Roy looked around to the black doctor, “I don’t know what he’ll say, but why not? I know Dr. Brackett and Dixie are going to try and come to see him the day after tomorrow.”

Nodding, the two doctors entered slowly as John woke up. After giving him a while to gather himself, Dr. Early smiled down at him before taking a seat.

“Good morning John. How are you doing?” he cheerfully asked.

“Okay,” was the short reply as suspicious eyes crept to Dr. Morton.

“This is Dr. Morton. He works in the ER like I do. Today I need to take out some of your stitches, so I needed some help. Is that okay with you?”

Staring at Morton for a bit, Johnny slid his eyes towards Roy. Not saying anything, Roy tried to convey that it was up to him. Seeing there wasn’t any fear or concern in his new uncle’s eyes, Johnny slowly nodded.

“Guess so,” he slowly said as he turned back to them. “Going to hurt?”

“It shouldn’t hurt,” Mike reassured him. “You might feel some tugging on your skin, but if it does hurt, just let us know and we’ll stop. Is that a deal?”

“Deal?”

“Deal, like, oh,” Mike fumbled for the right way to word it. “You agree if it hurts, you let us know and we stop. Deal.”

“Oh.” John thought carefully for a moment before pronouncing, “Deal.”

Smiling slightly, Dr. Morton turned the first part of the exam over to Joe. It went fairly quickly as Johnny was getting used to being prodded and poked by the gentle doctor, although everyone in the room could tell he hated it.

“Alright, we are done with that for now. I do want to talk to you about something and I think this will make you happy,” Doctor Early smiled as he talked. “I think you are doing well enough that we can get rid of this line coming out of your head. Also, since you’re eating so well, I can also take the line that is coming out of your shoulder. That one was proving extra food directly to your stomach, but as long as your Uncle Roy and Aunt Joanne add some vitamins and supplements I’ll be giving them to your food, I know you will be fine.”

“Hurt?” John asked quickly, not caring about anything else.

“It won’t hurt when we take them out,” Joe promised him. “We can give you medications so that you sleep right through this. After, your stomach may feel a bit sore, but we can help with that if it gets real bad. Where we take the lines out, I will put stitches in, so they may itch, but that is it.”

Johnny groaned without thinking, then gasped when he realized it. Fearfully, he looked up at the adults. Instead of them being angry however, they were smiling at him.

 _Why are they smiling? Why are they not mad at me? Why are they not yelling at me?_ he wondered, confused.

Seeing the look, Roy quickly explained, “We won’t get upset for you telling us how you feel or what you are thinking. We want to know these things and it is because we care about you. Not just my family and I, but both of these doctors here.”

Nodding sheepishly, Johnny whispered an apology.

Shaking his head, Roy said, “I think that is one thing we’ll talk about with Dr. Druthers this afternoon. For now, though, let’s focus on what is being talked about right now, okay?”

When John nodded in agreement, Roy questioned, “So, when do you want to take out the two lines?”

“Sometime this evening. That way, I can give you something to help you sleep through the night and hopefully, it won’t be so bad in the morning,” Dr. Early said, directing his comment towards Johnny. “It does mean that you cannot eat supper tonight, but you can eat lunch. I trust Jo is bringing something?”

“Yep, she said it was going to be a surprise for two of her favorite boys since her third was at sports camp.”

“Well, shall we get those stitches out? I have a feeling she’ll be here soon.”

“Please,” Johnny said. “Itchy!”

Trying to suppress a chuckle by couching, Joe just nodded. Grabbing the supplies, he and Mike got to work. Within a few minutes, all of the remaining stitches with the exception of the largest cut on his lower back were gone.

“Done,” Mike pronounced. “Was that so bad?”

“No,” Johnny said in wonderment. “Just funny.”

“Any more questions for me, Johnny?” Dr. Morton asked, hoping that the plan he, Joe, and Kel had come up with might work.

“You real doctor?” Johnny asked quietly.

“Yes, I am. I worked very hard even when people would say that someone of my color shouldn’t be a doctor. I did that as I wanted to be a doctor very much. I looked for people who could see me for who I was and what I could do, not just what I looked like,” Mike explained slowly as he made sure Johnny was listening. “I found people who didn’t care I was black, just that I was a good doctor. That is why I am here.

“Just like the doctors here and your Uncle Roy, Aunt Joanne, their kids, as well as their friends who know you, they see you for who you are. They see past your skin color. They care about you for who you are,” Doctor Morton went on in a gentle manner. “Does that make sense to you?”

“Like me for me?” John looked up at the doctor.

“Yes, to them and to most people, they remember who you are and are willing to be wait for you to get to know them again.”

Nodding, Johnny said, “Think can try. Scary.”

“That’s okay. I get that. All we want is for you to try, okay?” Dr. Morton said. “And if you ever wonder why they like you, just ask them or I can come up when I have free time to talk, okay?”

“‘Kay,” Johnny agreed. “Thank.”

“I don’t mind,” Mike said, relieved that his part in helping John start to understand his value and place in people’s lives weren’t based on his heritage. “Just remember, you can ask or tell us anything.”

“Even if just hungry?” John looked up, blushing as his stomach growled.

Smiling, Roy acknowledged, “Even if you’re hungry, we want you to let us know.”

“Ahh, just in time too,” Joe said as he spotted Joanne entering with a couple of totes of what he could only imagine were filled with her delicious cooking. “I am sure you are going to love your Aunt Jo’s cooking a lot more than the hospitals.”

As the gathered up the supplies, Doctor Early told Joanne the plans for later that night and that he would send the need supplements for food up as soon as he could. With that, he and Mike left the three to enjoy Jo’s lasagna with garlic bread.

Unfortunately, they were only half way through when Dr. Druthers appeared. Disappointed, Johnny set down his fork and sighed, figuring that lunch would have to wait.

Smiling, Karl encouraged him, “Don’t stop on my account. That food smells too good to wait. I can always just talk to you about some things I wanted to first anyway. You can speak up, interrupt, or just let me ramble on if you’d like. It’s up to you.”

“Real?” Johnny looked gratefully at him.

“Really,” Karl assured him.

As the three of them ate, Doctor Druthers explained that anything they talked about would be kept a secret unless he was worried John would hurt himself, it would affect his recovery, or it was something that his family needed to know about.

“What I want to know is how you feel about things, so that I know you are happy and healthy as much as possible. If you have a bad day or a good day, I’d like to know why. If you are mad, or sad, or upset about something, let me know. I can try to help you find out why and how to deal with it. Things won’t be easy for a while,” Karl cautioned. “I am more than happy to stick around and help you, just as I have been helping your family and their friends. You can talk with me by yourself or have someone with you if you would like. It is up to you and you can always change your mind during our talks. Your Uncle Roy and Aunt Jo have already said that they wouldn’t mind being told that you want them to leave. I would like to talk to you alone when you are ready.”

Johnny took in what this doctor was saying. Unsure of what to do or say, he just continued eating until he couldn’t eat anymore. Still, he stayed silent. Neither one of the three adults spoke, content just to allow him to think things through.

“Black doctor say color don’t matter to them,” John started speaking slowly and quietly. “I see in head faces that look hurt, look scared. It is cause I hurt. The people stay by me, help me, make me feel better. Don’t know them, but they say they know me. Say they Uncle Roy, Aunt Jo, Chris, Jenny, Uncle…”

Sighing in frustration, John moves his fork around his plate, “Can’t **‘MEMBER!** Hard, hate it. But think I trust them. Not sure why. Just do. Uncle Roy, Aunt Jo like ma and dad. Like it even though scary. Wish I could know them.”

As Roy and Joanne put a hand on Johnny, Karl spoke up, “I know none of us can know what you feel, but I am sorry you feel that way. You will have a hard time remembering things, even day to day things for a while. It is normal.”

“Uncle Roy says head got hurt,” Johnny told him. “That why.”

“Yes, that is why,” Dr. Druthers confirmed. “You can trust them. They are willing to help you in any way you need. We just need you to hang in here and work with us as we learn how to best help us.”

“What you mean?” Johnny looked up seriously.

“We know you hurt your head and that you can’t remember things. That you may feel good one minute and down the next, right?”

“Yes…”

“Well, I, along with Doctor Early, aren’t sure what else you may struggle with. That is why tomorrow, if you are feeling well enough, there are some people who will be coming to see you,” Karl explained. “These people will be able to help us know if you will have trouble with anything else.”

Seeing the panic develop on John’s face, Karl was quick to let him know, “If you do have trouble with anything, these people can help us by working with you so that you get better and don’t have so much trouble anymore. You don’t need to worry as anyone with head injuries as bad as yours usually does need some help to get back to how they were before. All of us, your family and your doctors, will be with you every step of the way.”

“Scared,” Johnny almost whimpered.

“Shhh, I know sweetie,” Joanne hugged him as tightly as possible. “Uncle Roy and I aren’t though, so can you trust us enough to try to work with the people who want to help?”

Squeezing his eyes tight, John nodded.

“That’s good,” Dr. Druthers praised. “Are you scared or worried about anything else right now?”

“Tubes.”

“Tubes?” he asked, a bit confused.

“Dr. Early is removing the central feeding IV and ICP bolt tonight,” Roy explained, a bit confused that Karl wasn’t aware.

“Oh, that!” he was a bit embarrassed that he didn’t understand right away. “Did Doctor Early explain what would happen, Johnny?”

“No.”

“Well, I am no surgeon, but from what I know, the nurse will be in about an hour to give you a medication that will make you very sleepy. By the time you are moved from your bed here to another one, you should be almost asleep. Your aunt and uncle will stay with you as you are taken up to a place where you will be given a different medication that will put you to sleep,” Karl explained. “While you are sleeping, the tubes will be taken out. Where the tubes came out of your skin, you will have stitches. Does this make sense so far?”

“Won’t feel?” Johnny asked nervously.

“No, not at all,” Roy promised. “After the tubes are taken out, Aunt Jo and I will be with you again. You will be in a different room for a bit as you wake up. Once you are awake, you’ll come back down here and sleep through the night. From what Doctor Early said, you may hurt a bit in your stomach area and a bit in your shoulder area, but it shouldn’t be too bad. If it does hurt, just let us know, okay?”

“You be here?” Johnny looked towards Roy.

“Yes, I’ll be here when you are moved and when you wake up. I promise,” Roy assured him.

Heaving a sigh, John mumbled, “Hate this.”

“I know, sweetie,” Joanne rubbed his arm. “I wish we could make you all better right now, but we can’t. We can promise we’ll be here for you.”

“Is there anything else you would like to talk about?” Karl asked as he looked at the clock and saw that it was nearing the time when the nursing staff would begin the pre-operative work up.

Shaking his head no, Johnny slid down a bit in bed and winced.

Deciding not to comment, Dr. Druthers stood up and said with a smile, “I’ll come back to check on you tomorrow night. Otherwise, remember, if you need anything, just let someone know what you need. Everyone is willing and happy to help you out in any way.”

“Okay,” John told him, obviously not happy with the upcoming events.

“I know you aren’t looking forward to getting the tubes out, but just think, this is another step towards you getting out of the hospital,” Karl reminded Johnny. “Plus, I bet your Uncle Roy is going to be spending the night here so no one worries.”

“How’d you know?” Roy asked shocked.

“I’ve talked to you enough,” Karl grinned at him. “And John, don’t feel guilty. Having your Uncle Roy stay here with you is the only way he and his family will get sleep tonight. If he wasn’t here, they’d be wondering if you were alright. It’s just a part of being a part of a family that loves and cares about you, so don’t feel bad.”

Nodding, Johnny wondered, _How’d he know I felt that way?_

“It’s written on your face, Junior,” Roy said.

Shock appeared next, causing the three adults to chuckle.

“Don’t worry,” Joanne assured Johnny in a whisper. “What Uncle Roy doesn’t know is that I can read the rest of the family just as well as he can read you. It all evens out.”

Unsure what she meant, John just nodded and waved as Karl took his leave as his day nurse came in. Knowing what that meant, he sighed heavily and tried not to panic. Thankfully, within the hour, he was up in surgery and by the next morning, John had no recollection of being moved to surgery or back to his room.


	39. Meeting the Therapists

As soon as Roy heard Johnny begin to wake up the morning after surgery, he hurried over to the bedside and sat down. Holding onto his hand, Roy gently encouraged him to open his eyes while pressing the call button.

“Is he waking up?” asked Nurse Andrews, who had arrived early for her shift to be there for both Roy and Johnny.

“He’s trying at least,” Roy replied with a small grin. “I’m not too sure he’s completely sure about it or not.”

“I’ll page Dr. Early and Dr. Morton. I know both were coming in early as well,” she said, slipping out the door.

While waiting for the doctors, Roy continued rubbing John’s left shoulder and reassuring him that everything was alright. Soon, his eyelids began fluttering more and more.

“That’s it,” Roy encouraged. “Let’s see those eyes of yours.”

Groaning, Johnny tried forcing his eyes open, but only got them part way before they seemed to sink close on him.

 _Feels heavy,_ he thought lazily.

Roy had seen the flash of brown eyes and spoke a bit louder, “That’s it, time to wake up now. We need to see how you are doing.”

Groaning again, Johnny forced his eyes open and blinked rapidly until they stayed open.

“Thatta boy,” praised Roy. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” he slurred. “Hurt. ‘Ungry.”

Trying unsuccessfully to hold back his snickering, Roy assured him, “You will feel less tired soon. Aunt Jo will be here with our breakfast soon. Is the pain really bad?”

Johnny’s face scrunched up as he thought about the question.

“No, just little hurt. Odd more,” he said.

“Doctor Early said that would be how it felt. If it gets worse, let someone know, okay?”

Nodding slowly, Johnny looked up when he heard the door to his room open. Seeing both Doctor Early and Morton enter along with his day nurse, he was unsuccessful at hiding his distaste at seeing them.

“It’s good to see you up!” Joe cheerfully greeted, ignoring the look and hoping that his exuberance would rub off. “How do you feel?”

Befuddled, Johnny looked towards his Uncle Roy for help.

“Doctor Early wants you to tell him how your body feels and if the pain is bad. Just tell him like you told me,” Roy encouraged.

“Why didn’t he say that?” came a cranky question before a hand went over his mouth.

“It’s okay to ask that and be upset that I didn’t explain what I meant,” Doctor Early apologized. “You just need to tell us if you don’t know what we ask or say.

To cover his embarrassment, Johnny quickly told the doctors what he had told Roy before.

“Sorry cranky, Uncle Roy,” Johnny apologized, unaware of how he had addressed Roy.

“I forgive you. I know you will struggle with how you feel for a while,” Roy told him, choking up a bit when he heard Johnny acknowledge him as his Uncle for the first time without thought. To him, it was a bittersweet moment.

After allowing some time to pass, Dr. Early cleared his throat and went on with the exam with Dr. Morton’s help. As he was making notes in John’s chart and making sure the nurse knew what medications Dr. Early wanted, Joanne entered in with Chris and Jenny.

“Just in time,” Joe smiled. “I’ve been hearing a couple of stomach rumbling since I’ve stepped in here.”

Blushing, Johnny started to open his mouth, when Mike interrupted, “Don’t worry, we’re glad you’re hungry. It’s a very good sign. It means you are healing. Now, before we can let your Aunt Joanne feed you, however, Dr. Early does need to tell you what will be happening today.”

“I have to see someone at a hospital a couple hours away, so Doctor Morton is going to be looking out for you today, okay Johnny?” Seeing the nod of acceptance and very little fear or worry in his eyes, Joe went on, “Like Dr. Druthers told you yesterday, there are some people who are going to be coming to meet you. There is going to be three of them. Doctor Morton, Uncle Roy and Aunt Jo will be here when they are here, so you have nothing to worry about.

“They are just going to be asking you some questions. Ones like I have asked you before. I don’t know if you remember them?” Joe asked. Seeing the uncertainty, he went on, “That’s okay, there is no right answer to the questions. Two of the people will also be seeing how well you can move on your own. They might help you move as well. Before anything is done, Doctor Morton will make sure the people explain to you why something is being done.”

“Will hurt?” John asked, as he knew even not moving could hurt at times.

“Some of what they do may not feel right or hurt some, but if it hurts a lot, tell us. Our goal is to help make you able to move better, make your muscles stronger so you can get out of bed, and be able to do as much as you can on your own. That way, you can leave the hospital and go home with your family,” Dr. Early explain. “You may need to come back here to work on some things, but these three people will come up with a plan to get you there.”

“So, persons who come help me get strong? Get out of here?” Johnny queried.

“Yes. It may take a bit and it will be hard work, but we are doing this because we care about you. All of us here want you to go home with your aunt and uncle as soon as you are able,” Joe assured him.

“Okay,” Johnny sighed, still feeling worried and scared.

“Try not to worry, honey,” Joanne told him. “Uncle Mike is taking over for me today so I can be here with you and Uncle Roy when you meet these people. I won’t let anyone do anything that I don’t think is good for you.”

Nodding, Johnny looked up at her, “Can I eat now?”

Everyone chuckled at that remark and Mike told him, “Yes, you may. Dr. Early and I will get out of your way so you can eat. Take a nap before lunch if you can. I’ll see you after lunch.”

“Thanks, Mike,” Jo said as the doctors and nurse cleared the room. “Alright, let’s get this set up. Roy, mind grabbing the card table I left in the hallway?”

Following his wife’s directions, soon breakfast was set up and eaten. Both Jenny and Chris, normally not morning people, were glad to have had some time to talk about their summer activities with Johnny. Although he didn’t say much, all the DeSoto’s could tell he was beginning to relax around them. By the time Mike Stoker showed up at 8:30 am to pick up the kids, Johnny actually looked disappointed to see them leave.

“Don’t worry, Johnny,” Jenny told him. “We’ll be able to see you tonight and have supper with you, okay? Today I’m learning about how to dive off a platform so I’ll tell you about that, alright?”

“And I’ll be sure to tell you how the practice soccer game goes,” Chris promised as their Uncle Mike herded them towards the door.

Smiling, Johnny watched as they left and snuggled down into his blankets, full and content.

“Are you ready to try napping yet?” Joanne inquired. Seeing Johnny shake his head no, she then asked, “Well, are there any books that you enjoy reading or games you like?”

“Dad teached ma and me game with squares. Black painted on. Red circles, black circles, moving them,” Johnny thought back, smiling sadly at the memory. “Fun. Hard. No books. Just school ones.”

“Well, I brought over some books I thought you might like to look over,” Joanne pulled out a bunch of brightly colored books.

“These are ones that are rhyming ones,” she said as she pointed out the Dr. Seuss books. “And these are some of my favorites that I love reading to my kids.”

“Monkey!” Johnny smiled as he spotted _Curious George_.

“Yep, Chris and Jenny loved that book a lot. Would you like to look at it?” Roy asked. “These are all books that are yours.”

A look of astonishment came over John’s face as he looked over the stack of perhaps a dozen books or so.

“Mine?” he squeaked out. “Real?”

“Yes,” Jo squeezed his hand. “These are all yours. This one here is actually a coloring book and I have crayons so you can color if you want. In your bedroom at home, there are some more books and coloring books. We haven’t changed much in your room at home since you came, but we hope you will tell us soon what you like so we can make the room your own.”

Looking up at her eyes, Johnny could see she was telling the truth. Turning towards his Uncle Roy, he saw that the same thing in his eyes.

 _I can’t believe they wanna know what I like so the room is like mine,_ Johnny thought in disbelief. _And they said all these books are mine? And there is more for me?_

Both Jo and Roy saw the tears welling up in John’s eye. Reaching over, Joanne held onto Johnny and tried to comfort him and assure him that they wanted to do these things for him. Slowly, the tears stopped and before Joanne or Roy knew it, John had slipped back into sleep.

“I guess this was a bit much for him,” Roy said, his voice rough with his own unshed tears.

 _I never thought of what it would be like not having more than just the basics, or I guess in some cases, less than the basics,_ Roy shuddered at the thought before vowing to figure out a way to make sure Johnny never felt he lacked for anything, no matter what.

“Yeah, I guess so,” sighed Jo.

Digging out their own reading material, the two of them allowed Johnny the sleep he obviously needed, as he didn’t even move much when Nurse Andrews would come in for vitals check. When it was nearing noon, however, Joanne nudged Roy as he had dozed off as well and mentioned they had better set up for lunch since the therapists would be there in an hour. Nodding, Roy helped Joanne heat up the lunch and grab the cold drinks from the lounge that she had stored there. As she set up the food, he went Johnny to wake him up. He knew it wouldn’t take much as the smell of the food alone was bringing him around.

“Some things never change,” Roy chuckled as he motioned his head towards Johnny.

Laughing herself, Joanne just shook her head, “Good afternoon, sweetie. Time to eat lunch.”

“‘K,” Johnny said, pushing himself up as Jo raised the head of the bed and Roy stuck more pillows behind him while holding Johnny carefully.

Within a half-hour the lunch disappeared. Not long after, Dr. Morton stuck his head in and seeing that lunch was gone, entered.

“Hi, Johnny, did your aunt make a good meal for you?”

“Yeah,” he said enthusiastically.

“Good,” Mike smiled. “Now, the three people are just outside if you are ready to meet them.”

Nervously, Johnny looked at Roy and then Joanne. Gripping their hands, he nodded slightly. Mike went to the door and pushed it open. Two men and a woman stepped inside.

“I know this may be hard and you may not remember everything we talk about today, but don’t worry,” Dr. Morton told Johnny. “Just ask your aunt, uncle or someone else if you want to know something. These people here can also answer questions. If you forget their names, just ask.”

Again nodding, Johnny waited for what would happen next.

A short, balding man with dark brown hair sprinkled with white stepped forward, “Hello, John. My name is Shawn Warrens. I am a speech therapist. Today, I will listen while you talk with the other two therapists. After, I may ask you some questions, but nothing too hard. Does that make sense?”

Johnny remained mute, but nodded that he did in fact understand. Giving him a small smile, Shawn stepped back and sat in a chair that was furthest from the bed. Next, the woman who appeared to be in her mid-thirties with reddish-blonde hair and a small stature came forward.

“Hi, I’m Ms. Scarlett Palmer and I am the occupational therapist,” she said, practically bubbling with energy. “My job is to help you learn how to do things to the best of your ability and help you relearn task. I know you have been working on using forks and spoons to feed yourself, which is great and that is something that I can make sure you continue to do well with. Today, I will figure out what else you may need help with and I will come up with fun ways to work on those areas.”

“Don’t get,” Johnny confessed, his head lowering down.

“It’s okay, I’m not sure I totally get it either,” Roy admitted.

Smiling, Scarlett tried to clarify, “I’m here to try and help John learn how to do the daily activities he needs to do. Not just feeding himself, but also taking care of his own hygiene, making sure his coordination is as good as it can be, things along these lines. I’ll also be working with the physical therapist to determine if there are any specialized equipment that may be helpful to reach the goals your family and John has, as well as help Davis with the physical therapy part. I know it is not easy to understand, but I think it’ll be easier to explain and understand once we get through the test and I come back with the results, okay?”

With this remark, a gentleman who had good size muscles and was almost as tall as Johnny stepped forward.

“I’m Davis Cook, you can just call me Mr. Davis or Mr. D. I know I may look scary, but my four kids aren’t scare of me at all,” he announced in a low voice. Seeing a quick smile, he went on. “I’m what is called a physical therapist. It just means I will help you learn how to move and build up your muscles since you haven’t been moving for a bit. I can’t say that it won’t hurt some, but I want you to tell me if I ever hurt you a lot, okay?”

“I can say?” Johnny perked up, relieved that the others were right about being able to say something if something hurt too much.

“Yes, my goal is to get you better and if you get hurt or are hurting, I can’t do that,” he assured John. “Plus, it makes me feel bad.”

“Ok,” Johnny acknowledged, still unsure if he could speak up.

Smiling, Davis asked if everyone was ready to begin the evaluation. When everyone had replied in the affirmative, he and Scarlett began by slowly manipulating different parts of Johnny’s body. After each time, notes were written down and Johnny was asked questions. Once that first part was done, Scarlett took the lead and asked John to begin moving in certain ways. Again, Johnny was asked questions and notes were taken after each movement. She then began administrating a test similar to the one Dr. Early had performed each time he wanted to assess how well John was doing. Once finished, close to two hours later, Davis and Scarlett turned to see if Shawn had any questions or comments. Saying that he had none, the three left to confer over their notes and develop a plan.

“So, how you doing, Johnny,” Roy asked wearily ten minutes later after Dr. Morton checked Johnny over.

Almost growling, John just glared at him.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you, that took a long time. At least it’s over with,” he pointed out in an attempt to placate Johnny.

“Not care, hate, want go,” John humphed, crossing his arms.

“I’m sorry, but right now, here is what is best for you,” Dr. Morton said. “You aren’t well enough to go home yet. Hopefully, when the three of them come back in, they can give you an idea when that may happen.”

“Why it mess me it,” frustrated, John couldn’t get out the words he wanted.

 _Stupid, can’t talk right, hate all this, why it happened to me?_ he wondered angrily.

“Calm down,” Roy said a bit sharply, noticing his heart rate spike a bit. “I would be upset too, but I don’t know why this happened to you. It just did.”

Imitating Roy, Johnny took a few deep breaths before asking, “Why like this?”

“Why are you having trouble so much?” Roy asked in return. Seeing the nod and hearing the heavy sigh, he said, “Your brain got hurt. When it got hurt, your brain got bruises on it. Those bruises are why things are not working how they should.”

“Bruises?” Johnny wondered.

“Bruises.” Roy confirmed. “The doctors are doing all we can to help you out, we just have to…”

Roy was cut off by a knock on the door. Being the closest, Mike opened the door to let in the group of therapists. As soon as everyone was settled into chairs, with Jo and Roy on each side of John, Shawn began.

“I don’t see much speech problems. John, you are doing great. You can say the words well and know what others say too. The one area of concern comes from the nurses who saw when John gets upset or confused. At that time, his speech becomes mixed up. Roy and Joanne, if you can help him slow down during those times, correct him if he forgets a word, I think he should be fine since he has been making progress as time goes by. I’m hoping that since you are doing so well with your sentences now Johnny, that as your brain continues to get better, so will how well you talk. However, if things stay the same, let me know and I’ll reevaluate.

“I know it is somewhat risky to wait a while, but right now, John is at least speaking clearly and is being understood so I feel it is a minor risk. Yes, I do realize this could backfire and could cause John’s speech to remain the same as it is now, but like I said, from where he was when he woke up to where he is now is a big difference. It is up to you though,” Shawn nodded his head towards Roy and Joanne.

“Well,” Roy began slowly. “I guess I worry that the connections for speech may be damaged and waiting could mean that those connections are either lost or it will take longer to reconnect if done at a later time.”

“It is possible that it could take longer to improve John’s speech if we wait,” Shawn conceded. “Or it could mean that his speech doesn’t become much better. I honestly don’t believe though that the connections would be lost. Right now, they are temporarily harder to access due to the swelling and bruises. From what I was told, the speech area is affected and in my opinion, trying to access those connections and rush the speech along is very plausible. Possible…yes, but not likely. It is a risk, but as I said before, I do believe it is a low risk. Again, you and Joanne do have the final say and you need to weigh the benefits of this taking place now, as well as the fact John will be involved in physical and occupational therapy.”

“As well as trying to adapt to a new situation, new people and dealing with the aftermath of his injuries,” Mike Morton pointed out quietly.

“Tell,” Johnny pleaded, his eyes turned to Roy with confusion painted on his face.

Sighing, Roy took a breath and explained the best he could, “We know you will need to work with Ms. Scarlett and Mr. Davis so you can move and do things on your own like before. You know, things like working on making yourself strong again to walk, learn how to do feed yourself better, do games so you can have fun with our family. But Mr. Shawn hears how you talk and wants to know if Aunt Jo and I want to wait to work on how you talk or not. We know what you say and you are doing better.”

“Know it funny,” Johnny agreed.

“It’s okay though,” Jo told him. “You are doing great and doing better each day.”

Looking at one another, Roy and Jo silently communicated with one another.

“I think that for right now, we’re going to wait,” Roy decided. “It’ll give us time to work on other areas. I know you hate being in bed all the time, Johnny. But remember, it doesn’t matter to any of us how long it takes, you are family and we will be here for you, okay?”

Seeing the nod, Scarlett took over, “I did find some muscle weakness and trouble with coordination. I can start working on trying to help you with that Johnny, although as things heal inside your head, I am hoping it will get easier for you. A lot of the things we do will be fun and if you would like, you can do some of these things with your family. Games such as Operation, Battleship or puzzles are great ideas. Coloring books, pick up sticks, we have all sorts of different fun things I will be bringing.”

“What those? And that work?”

“That is work,” Scarlett smiled at him. “I’ll make sure to have the games in your room here and tell you about them. As you get better, if you still have some trouble, I’ll even tell your aunt and uncle to play baseball and basketball with you once you are up and moving. I’m sure Chris and Jenny will be helpful in making sure you win.”

Giggling at the thought, Johnny blushed.

“What I will be having you do isn’t so fun,” Davis apologized. “I’ll be coming in during the morning and working with you to stretch out your arms and legs. We also will start you lifting some light weights so you get stronger. In a couple days, I’ll have you sitting with your feet hanging over the bed. If that goes well, the next day, you can try to stand.”

“But leg is heavy,” Johnny pointed out.

“Yes, it is in a cast, but I can bring a walker so that you can lean on it,” Davis promised. “The stitches in your back will be coming out before you stand, so don’t worry about that. Both Ms. Scarlett and I will make sure Dr. Early knows what our plans are.”

“Any idea when Johnny will be able to come home?” Joanne asked hopefully.

“Ideally, I’d like him to be able to transfer to a wheelchair with help and walk a bit steps with the walker. I want to see him strong enough to be able to make it to the bathroom and back as well, which means he has to lose the Foley first and eat solid foods, not just soft foods,” Davis said. “Until the cast comes off his leg and the strength is better, he will need to use a wheelchair most of the time. Depending on how well his coordination is, Johnny may need to use a walker or some type of cane after that.”

“For me, I need to know that Johnny is able to take care of the basic needs, such as toilet care and washing up. I’m sure he will need help bathing for a while,” she paused, seeing both Roy and Joanne blush. “I believe a nurse is volunteering to come in when that is needed, so don’t worry.”

“Who?” Jo wondered out loud.

“A Dixie McCall,” Scarlett read from her notes.

Understanding and relief lit both Roy and Joanne’s faces.

Dr. Morton interrupted their thoughts to detail what was needed on the medical end of things, “Johnny is going to need IV antibiotics for another two days and then he shouldn’t need them anymore. We’ll take him off the IV, but leave the port in until he leaves, just in case. We also want him on the monitors for another three days at least. If his latest CT Scan comes back good, Dr. Early plans on disconnecting everything. The Foley will be taken out as soon as he is strong enough to transfer and after it’s taken out, John will be watched for infections or problems for a couple days. So, on our end, after he can get out of bed, at least two to four days.”

“And we,” Davis said for him and Scarlett. “Are thinking perhaps at least two weeks before he is ready to be sent home. Of course, the one factor that may delay it is Dr. Druthers report.”

“Two weeks?” Jo asked. “That’s it?”

“It could be longer,” Mike interjected. “Dr. Druthers will be going to want to make sure that everyone is prepared for when John is released. You’ll have to ask Karl about his timeline and goals. The only thing I know for sure is that we will get working as a team in here. That, and Dixie is bringing up supper for everyone tonight so Johnny can be introduced to her.”

“Long time,” Johnny groaned, unable to focus on anything else.

“Just hang in there,” Roy patted Johnny’s shoulder. “We’re going to be here for you every step of the way.”


	40. First Therapy Session

Right after breakfast the next morning, Dr. Davis showed up with a bright smile on his face.

"Good morning, John. How are you feeling today?" he greeted cheerfully in an attempt to gauge how his patient's mood was and how he felt towards therapy.

Grimacing, Johnny shrugged, "Am fine."

Nodding, the doctor set down the few items he had brought to help increase the effectiveness of therapy.

"I know that Doctor Early has you on less medicine to help with pain, so you may hurt a bit more right now. The exercises I do with you and ask your family to help you with may cause some pain too," he warned. "The pain shouldn't get too bad, if it does, tell someone. Otherwise, what you do in physical therapy will help with the pain. It will take a bit, but once we get you moving, your body will be happier. Does that make sense?"

"Pain now…so, less…later?" Johnny asked slowly and carefully, trying to remember what his Uncle Roy had told him about speaking.

"Yes, exactly!"

"And great job kiddo," Roy grinned at Johnny. "That is what I meant by speaking all the words in your head. I know it'll be hard, but like I said, Aunt Jo, me, Chris, Jenny and others will be here for you."

Smiling bashfully with pink running through his cheeks, John turned back to Doctor Davis. Sensing the embarrassment, the physical therapist started his session.

"What I am going to start with is helping you stretch out your muscles," he elucidated. "You should be able to do this on your own after this."

Picking up the uncasted leg, Davis began the stretching exercises, explaining what he was doing and why as he did so.

"How did that feel?" Dr. Davis inquired. "Was it painful?"

"Feel funny. Kind of bad, good," John answered, puzzled himself. "Before was like run. Tight. Now, not much like it."

"So, it feels a little better?" Roy asked, wanting to make sure he understood.

Nodding as eagerly as he could without setting off another blinding headache, Johnny smiled.

"That's great! And that is exactly what we want to happen in physical therapy." Davis told him. "Each time, we will have you do more stretches and pretty soon, we can get you strong again."

"Good," John grinned up at them.

 _I just want to go home!_ he thought before a darker thought entered his mind. _But where is home?_

Before he could dwell on that topic, the physical therapist was showing him how to stretch his arm out slowly so as not to bump the IV. The exercises for the arms were harder, a bit more complicated and painful Johnny quickly found out from the stitches he had gotten on various parts of his body. Still, fearful of what would happen if he complained, he just grasped his bottom lip between his teeth, determined not to let on. However, both Dr. Davis and Roy were watching closely to see how John reacted and both could the pain shining through his eyes. Nodding at one another, Davis ceased with that part of the therapy early.

"Alright, that looks like it is a bit more painful, huh Johnny?" Roy asked John, hoping to get an honest answer out of him.

"No," was the whispered replied.

Sighing inwardly, Roy turned his chair to face John better while Doctor Davis backed off a bit.

"I, we," he corrected. "Could see that it hurt. Your eyes gave it away. It is fine to let us know you are hurting. It is perfectly normal to hurt after what happened."

Unsure whether telling Johnny that if he didn't let anyone know he was in pain, especially during therapy sessions, could mean a delay in how long until he was well enough to leave, Roy was grateful when Davis explained it to him.

"Punished?" Johnny looked up to both men after being told.

"No, you will never get punished for saying you are hurt," Roy forcefully said. "You will also never get punished like you did at that ranch."

Unsure what was being talked about, Davis wisely said nothing. Watching, he saw a silent promise being communicated to Johnny and just as he began thinking should speak up, he saw that Johnny silently accepted that promise while in return, promised to try to remember that.

 _Amazing! I know I was told the two of them have had a special bond since they first met, but quite honestly, after being told the severity of the head injury John had, I didn't think it could survive. I guess this is what it is meant that some people are meant to be in your life in one form or another,_ Davis pondered. _At least now I know why this person is fighting so hard for him. I wonder if Roy's whole family has that bond. Somehow, I wouldn't doubt it._

"Promise to let us know if something hurts so we can help?" Davis returned to the topic at hand.

"Yes," John promised, chastened.

"It's okay, this is not easy." the doctor assured him. "How about we get on with the rest so you can rest before lunch if you'd like?"

"Okay."

"These are weights that can be strapped around an ankle or wrist," Davis held up a long, rectangle type of sandbag with fastening straps on each end. As he put it around the uncasted ankle, he went on to explain, "This weighs about a pound and I'll help you do some more exercises with this on. It will help strengthen your muscles even further. Ready?"

A bit scared looking, Johnny nodded.

Smiling at him, Dr. Davis started helping Johnny bend and lift first his leg, than each arm to strength them. Once he could see that his patient was reaching the point where the pain was getting too much, Davis stopped.

"How is the pain?" he questioned, looking straight at his patient.

"Little bad," John said truthfully.

"Like, owww, my arms and leg are going to fall off?" he exaggerated, shaking his arm and twisting his face into a comical expression of pain.

Laughing, John shook his head no.

"So, more like, I tried lifting too much?"

Thinking about that, Johnny agreed, "Yes."

"That is good," the physical therapist cheerfully said. Seeing the look he was given, he grinned and explained, "It may not seem good, but once your muscles and body get used to moving, it will get a lot easier. Tonight still may be hard, but tomorrow when I come, shouldn't be as difficult. If the pain gets any worse, tell someone."

"More?" John exclaimed, than slapped his hand on his mouth.

Suppressing his grin, Davis said, "Yes, your Uncle Roy will be helping you tonight after supper."

Scrunching up his face, Johnny slumped down a bit.

"Sorry, Junior," Roy said. "But you do want out of this bed, don't you?"

"Yeah…"

"Then this is something that has to be done," he patiently explained.

"Do you two have any questions before I leave?" Davis asked as he sensed that a deeper topic might be around the corner and decided ending the session a bit early would be better.

"No, I don't think so," Roy answered slowly after looking towards Johnny.

"Okay, page me if you need anything. I am on until seven tonight," he said and with a wave, was gone.

"No place home," John stated, seemingly oblivious to the short conversation between his physical therapist and Roy.

Trying to determine how to answer the question, Roy knew Johnny valued honesty over lies.

 _Heck, we even got into arguments a couple times cause of the subject,_ Roy remembered, thinking back on times when the two of them debated when was being honest with a patient better than not telling the whole truth or lying. _He always stuck as close to the truth as much as possible. Never to the point that it harmed anyone, but it is something he had greatly valued. In this case, how much will the truth hurt or help?_

Figuring that Karl Druthers could help sort out any blunders, as Johnny was getting more agitated by the minute, Roy jumped in with both feet.

"You are partly right, you don't have a home. At least not with your parents," Roy quickly pointed out. "And you were put into what we, meaning my family and the people in this hospital, was similar to an orphanage after they passed away. However, your aunt did ask us my wife and I to look after you since she wouldn't. We are more than happy to do so. Our kids already love you, as do the two of us. We think of you as part of our family. We would be happy to have you make our home yours as well. But home is not just a place, it is also a feeling.

"We know that and will do what we can to help you. None of us want you to forget about your mom or dad, or about where you come from. That is too much of a part of who you are and to lose that would be to lose a huge part of who you are. My family, friends and those here are willing to help you learn how to get back the skills you need to be the kid you were and learn to trust us. Trust that we do want what is best for you, that we care about you. We are not perfect. We will make mistakes, we may yell sometimes, or get upset, but we won't leave you. Just like we would never willingly leave Chris or Jenny."

Letting Johnny have some time and space to think things over, Roy patted his arm and stole out of his room quietly. Turning out of the door, he jumped back in shock as he nearly ran into Dr. Druthers.

"You about gave me a heart attack, doc!"

"Well, at least we're in a great hospital," he wisecracked. "Probably the best place to have one."

"I thought your session with Johnny wasn't until after occupation therapy," Roy wondered as he rolled his eyes.

"It isn't, but Doctor Davis told me he had a feeling it might be a good idea for me to come down. Said something along the lines of having a feeling I might be needed. Sounds like he was wrong though. You handled that fairly well. Not that I'm surprised," Doctor Druthers added.

"Oh," Roy blushed a deep red.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. How about we go check in and see how Johnny is doing?" he suggested, guiding Roy back into the room.

"Hi, Johnny," Karl greeted. "I had a bit of extra time this morning and thought I'd stop by and see how you are."

"Don't know," came the short and confused sounding reply.

"Why is that?" Dr. Druthers asked, sitting across from Roy's usual chair.

"Uncle Roy family like me," Johnny explained. "Do not recall. Bad don't?"

"Is it bad that you don't?" Karl rephrased, then seeing the nod, went on. "No, it's okay that you can't remember them. You might not remember them at all. All anyone asks is for you to give them a chance."

"Can I see head?" asked John, his curiosity over what happened too much to take.

"It's wrapped up in bandages right now," Roy hedged, clearly uncomfortable at the idea of John seeing a thirty-year old man and not a seven year old boy in the mirror.

Karl, on the other hand, realized that soon or later, it would have to take place. Although this wasn't exactly planned, the doctor figured at least John was still being monitored closely for a couple more days, which would help give everyone a frame of reference of how he was taking the news. It might also give him an inside into the mind set of Johnny. Nodding to himself, Karl went to the bedside table and flipped the mirror part over.

"Alright, I will show you, but try to remain calm as possible, okay?" Doctor Druthers asked.

Looking at Roy, he made sure that he was ready to help restrain Johnny if needed. Bringing the mirror closer until John could see himself, the two men waited with baited breath. After a few minutes, John slowly reached out to touch the mirror before leaping back a bit. Roy placed his hand on Johnny's arm in reassurance and finding the courage, John touched his face along his jawline before reaching for the mirror again. Scanning the mirror, he blinked rapidly.

"Hair moved!" Johnny laughed in awe.

"What do you mean?" Roy asked, clearly bewildered.

"Top hair gone, went here," John pointed to his jawline. "Light skin. Fat."

"You think you have light skin and are fatter?" Roy was now thoroughly confused. Yes, he could see how Johnny would think his skin was more washed out, after being in the hospital so long, his skin did lose its normal coloring. But fat? "I hate to say this, but…"

Seeing Doctor Druthers cut him off with a harsh, quick hand gesture, Roy fell silent.

"What makes you think you have lighter skin?" Dr. Druthers asked.

"Don't know," Johnny admitted.

"It's okay, usually if people are in the hospital for a while, their skin lightens," Karl assured him. "So, what do you think you are fat?"

"Not fat," scrunching his face, Johnny tried thinking of the allusive word. "Like I eat more."

"Ahh, so you look like you are eating more food, better food?"

"Yes," John said. "Mom, Dad did well as can. Hard."

"It's understandable. Things are not the same here as they are there. I know your parents loved you very much. It shows in the person you are," the doctor praised.

"Thank," Johnny's brown eyes sparkled.

Putting away the mirror, Karl prodded a bit more, "So, did this help you at all?"

"See true self. Not just feelings. Cannot trust them," Johnny yawned.

"Was this part of why you didn't trust Uncle Roy and his family?"

"Not sure," John admitted sleepily. "Think all things too big and scary. By seeing truth, see self and who hands to put self in."

"Do you think it may be easier to trust them now?" he pressed.

"Yes, saw he protect me. Like that," Johnny smile. "You act like dad."

"Well, I can't help it," Roy confessed. "You're family."

"Glad," Johnny said as he gave into sleep.

As soon as both Roy and Karl were certain John wouldn't wake, the two headed to the nurses lounge to talk over coffee.

"I think he is making excellent progress," Doctor Druthers told Roy. "And the biggest hurdle, him seeing himself in the mirror for the first time, went a lot better than I anticipated. When the bandages are all finally removed in another week, we'll try it again. Well, unless he asks."

"Yeah, one thing that hasn't changed is his curiosity," Roy ruefully said. "I had to admit, I was prepared for him not being able to deal at all."

"It helps having a safety net of family always with him, even though he can't recall anything about your family and still has trust issues because of his situation," Karl casually mentioned. "I think we keep going how we have been, and be prepared for things becoming a lot more difficult just in case. I figure this plan seems to be working well so far, so why change it."

"Thanks," Roy stood up and shook the doctor's hand. "Jo and I can't tell you how much we appreciate this."

"No problem," Druthers waved him off. "I'll see you guys for your sessions later. I figure Johnny can have the afternoon off, although if you need me, page or come up."

"Will do," Roy acknowledged as he sank back into his seat. Prepared for the first therapy session going horribly wrong, he felt almost at loose ends and unsure what to do with himself. Seeing that it was over an hour till Joanne would be there with lunch and knowing John would sleep until then, Roy headed downstairs to the ER with no concrete plan in mind.


	41. Occupation Therapy Time

Once down in the Emergency department, Roy found that although somewhat busy, Doctor Brackett had enough time to take a short break. Updating him, along with Dixie, on what had just occurred, Roy felt a lot better once everything was out in the open.

"Sounds like things are going better than expected," Kel said, pleased.

"Yeah, and I was grateful that he was fine when you two showed up with Doctor Early for his morning check-up," Roy admitted. "I was a bit worried before."

"It goes back to the fact that you and he have always had a unique bond. Even if Johnny doesn't know who to trust, and is struggling with trusting you, his natural instinct is to follow your lead. Therefore, if someone isn't a threat to you, Johnny tries his best to accept them as safe," Dixie pointed out.

Pondering that, Roy slowly nodded, "I can see that. I hate to do this, but Joanne should be coming with lunch soon and then we got to prepare Johnny for occupational therapy right after so I should get back upstairs."

Standing up, Dixie gave him a quick hug, "Alright, you just remember to take care of yourself mister."

"I will," he smiled at her as he waved.

Reaching Johnny's room, he found his wife already there and together they set up the food before waking John.

"Hey, Junior, time for lunch," Roy shook him gently.

"Hmmm?"

"Lunchtime," Jo repeated. "I got tomato bisque soup, some more yogurt and milk."

Nodding, John began struggling to sit up. At this, Joanne used the bed controllers to slowly raise the top of the bed while Roy helped him to sit up. Tucking a napkin around his neck, Jo pushed his bedside table near him and allowed her husband to help guide the spoon. When a little more than half of the food was gone, Johnny could no longer eat anymore and so the two of them quickly finished up. Ten minutes later, the therapist came in having heard from the nurse that the remaining lunch had been put away.

"Hi, Johnny," Ms. Scarlett smiled. "Are you ready to have some fun?"

Raising his eyebrows, Johnny looked towards her, than towards Roy.

Giggling a bit, she showed him what she had brought in-marbles, clay, coloring books and crayons, along with pages with mazes and hidden objects.

"We're going to start with there. Then, once you are doing well with these and are able to use your hands better, we will move on to other things," Scarlett explained. "Now, for the marbles, I want you to move them one at a time from this dish to another."

Although it took what seemed a long time for Johnny to manipulate his fingers to grasp each individual marble, pick it up and move it, he eventually was able to do so. Scarlett then had him move the marbles back to the original container. Sighing, Johnny did so.

"Great!" Scarlett praised. "The second time you did that, you went a lot faster! You keep up this work and in a couple days, this will be too easy for you to do! Now, these mazes are so you can follow between two lines and help you move your hand how you need to. It is the same with the hidden object pages when you trace the object."

Taking him through a couple pages of each, she was pleased with how much better Johnny got after learning how to complete the task.

"I'm going to leave the pages here with you. If you feel you are up to it, I would like you to work on it. Now, these coloring pages may be harder, but are helpful," she warned. "They will help your hand learn how to grip something properly and also build up strength in your hands. You can color any way you want with any colors you'd like. Try to stay inside the lines, but if you can't, don't worry."

Picking out a page, she had Johnny begin. Soon however, he went over the lines and became frustrated. Grabbing the paper, he balled it up and threw it as hard as he could. Reaching towards the crayon box, he tried to knock it off the table, but was thwarted by Roy.

"Hey, none of that," Roy said sternly.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Johnny began repeating in a low growl, pounding his fist against the bed.

Holding onto the fist, Roy and Joanne tried to soothe him while Scarlett tried to reason with him.

"Johnny, look at me," she asked. When that didn't work, she grasped his chin gently and tilted it up so he could see what she was about to say. "It is okay that you messed up. It happens. We just want you to try."

"Deep breathes," Roy coached. "Come on, just relax. Everything is fine."

Slowly, but surely, the anger and frustration left Johnny.

"Sorry," he mumbled, embarrassed.

"You're forgiven," Joanne said. "We know that right now it will be hard to control how you feel so this may happen. Now, how about we try this coloring thing again?"

Nodding, John swiped his runny nose with the tissue he was offered. Distracted by the activity, he soon forgot about the temper tantrum.

A half-hour later, Scarlett tapped Johnny on the hand and said, "Okay, I think you got the hang of this. How…"

"What you mean?" Johnny interrupted to ask.

"By got the hang of this?" she wondered. Seeing his nod, Scarlett clarified, "I mean, that you know what to do and understand."

"Got hang of it," Johnny whispered.

"Yep," Scarlet smiled. "You can color when you have free time, but before I go, I want to show you one last thing. To help your muscles get stronger and be able to move better, I want you to work with this clay."

Demonstrating different ways, she saw Johnny watching in fascination.

"Alright, your turn."

Quickly, Johnny picked up the clay and began to mimic what he had been shown.

"Excellent," Scarlett praised. "Keep working on this until I come back tomorrow. I'll make sure we do something different and harder to help get you ready to get out of this bed."

"Alright," John said, distracted by manipulating the clay.

Smiling, Scarlett left after obtaining a promise that if anyone needed anything, that they would page her since she was on until five that night.

Soon after she left, Johnny abandoned the clay to begin coloring again. Leaving him to his work, Roy and Joanne picked up their books. Amazingly, all three continued to do this until Chris and Jenny were brought up to the room by their Uncle Mike.

Seeing who had come in, Johnny called out cheerful greetings. A bit startled, Mike Stoker threw a questioning glance at Roy. As he got up to help get supper laid out, Roy explained the events of the day.

"I think Johnny is just finally starting to realize that he can trust us and that leaving here is possible," Roy reported. "I mean, we've had our bad moments, don't get me wrong, but overall, things seem to be good. Why don't you stay and see for yourself if you don't have plans. There is plenty of food."

Agreeing, Mike stuck around and found himself opening up more than he usually did. Johnny, too began to feel even more secure knowing that this family that claimed to want him as part of it were willing to open up more areas of their lives to him. It gave him a sense of peace he hadn't known since his parents had gone and it made him start to believe that maybe, just maybe, he could be loved again.

Seeing the effects that the day had on Johnny as well as everyone else, the doctors and therapists stuck to the same schedule for the next four days. After that, since Johnny had been unhooked from his remaining monitors and equipment for over a day, the decision was made to have him try to sit up with his feet over the bed. Doctor Early, Dixie, Davis and Scarlett all gathered around while Roy and Joanne tried their best to stay out of the way, yet still in the view of Johnny.

"Alright, we are going to take this nice and slow," Davis told everyone as he focused on Johnny.

Explaining what would take place before it happen, Davis and Scarlett braced Johnny as he slowly slid to the edge of the bed and his feet dangled over. Breathing heavily, Johnny closed his eyes as the world tilted slightly and a rush of dizziness threatened to push him over.

"Are you okay?" Joe Early asked a bit frantic, trying his best not to rush over and check on him.

After a long minute, John finally raised his head slowly and grinned slightly, "Think yes. Dizzy before."

"That's normal," Davis assured him. "Are you still dizzy?"

"No."

"You ready to try and stand?" Scarlett asked.

"Yes!" Johnny said impatiently.

As the adults tried suppressing their chuckles, Dixie brought over the walker.

"Okay, just as we talked about," Scarlett reminded him. "Grip the handles nice and tightly."

Doing so, Scarlett smiled, "Good, okay, now slowly slide down until your feet touch the floor. That's it, slowly. Almost there. Perfect!"

Eyes widen, Johnny couldn't believe he was standing.

"How bad is the pain?" Davis questioned.

"Little bad than before," came the answer.

Nodding, Davis and Scarlett allowed Johnny to stand for a few more minutes before helping him back into bed. As Doctor Early and Dixie were checking him over, both of them as well as Roy and Jo were praising him.

"Just think, soon we'll have you walking a bit," Davis reminded Johnny. "Once you do that, I hear that you can go home."

"Yeah," John said happily. "Doctor I talk to say family and I good together. Still see him two time a week when I go."

"That's wonderful," Scarlett was pleased at the news.

"Just wish didn't have to come back here for work," Johnny yawned through his discontentment.

"At least it won't be every day. Just three times a week," Roy pointed out.

Smiling sadly, Joe added in, "And you won't see me too much either."

Realizing how he sounded, John apologized quickly.

"Sweetie, it is okay. No one likes being in the hospital or having to go through what you have had to go through," Joanne pointed out. "Everyone here understands and is happy for you."

Looking around, Johnny saw that each person was nodding. Yawning again, he was told to get some sleep as they would be going through this again later again. Closing his eyes, John quickly fell asleep, only awakening when it was lunch. Knowing the sooner he finished eating, the sooner he could stand again, Johnny quickly ate the noodle dish his Aunt Joanne had prepared.

Sure enough, as soon as the nurse saw that clean-up was starting, she paged Dr. Davis and Ms. Scarlett. Eager to begin, Johnny started moving on his own before being halted.

"How about we help you out for a bit yet?" Davis teased. "We want to make sure that you don't hurt yourself."

Sighing, Johnny wondered, "When can I do on own?"

"I am not sure," Davis truthfully told him. "I want you strong enough first. Once you get your cast off, we can start working on that, okay?"

"When that happening?"

"You need another few days in the cast and then you will have a brace you will need to wear until your ankle is strong again. Like before, we'll be having you do the same exercises as we did with the other leg, but it may take longer since you haven't used the leg in a while. I promise, we'll get you there, alright?"

"Okay," Johnny sighed out the word.

Smiling, Davis and Scarlett worked on getting him to stand once again. This time, Johnny lasted close to ten minutes before he began to tire. Seeing this, Davis decided that he would start seeing if John could begin walking a few steps tomorrow.

 _No way am I telling him that though! With my luck, he'd start on his own,_ Davis thought to himself. _Besides, if Johnny has a mood swing where he is angry or shuts down due to depression again, there is no telling how much worse it would be telling him I don't feel like it would be a good idea to do so while he is feeling that way._

Happy with his decision, Davis left with Scarlett, incredibly pleased with the progress Johnny had made despite the side effects from the brain injury and medications.


	42. Temper

The next morning went even better than expected and Johnny was able to complete four steps before it became too much for him. Unfortunately, that evening, he was able to do even less and that set off a temper tantrum worse than anyone had seen. It seemed anything and everything around him that wasn't bolted down went flying. Patients down the hall could hear him yelling although what he was yelling about no one was sure. Thankfully, Johnny didn't have a lot of energy and within fifteen minutes, it was mostly over. All that remained was the self-loathing that had Johnny curling up in a ball crying, saying he hated himself for not having no control and hating what had happened to him. Having heard what had happened and seeing the results, Doctor Druthers finally decided to prescribe a mood stabilizer despite having held off in hopes the mood swings that were presenting themselves would level out without pharmaceutical help.

"I really think that using Chlordiazepoxide at least for a short time will be beneficial," Karl explained. "I don't believe Johnny will need it long term, just until his head injury heals more."

Concerned, Roy interrogated him, "But what if the mood swings are permeant?"

"Than we can keep him on this medication or try a different one. There is no reason for him to suffer through these when we can make his life a bit easier," Doctor Druthers patiently explained.

Running his hands through his hair, Roy sighed and looked towards Joanne.

"What kind of side effects are there?"

"It could cause dizziness, blurred vision or drowsiness. Sometimes these do occur when first taking the medication and as the person adjusts, the symptoms lessen. Again," he reminded them. "There are other options if this doesn't work."

Looking towards his wife again, Roy and Joanne communicated silently. Each were thinking the same things: It wasn't fair to Johnny to have him suffer through roller coasters of emotions that sucked the energy out of him and left him even more depressed. Nor would it be fair to have their children deal with it and walk on egg shells since they both saw that as Johnny healed, the mood swings only grew worse.

 _I really can't blame him though,_ Joanne thought, her heart breaking. _To have to keep holding onto hope in such a strange world surrounded by strangers, only to have it dashed again and again. It's a wonder he is coping as well as he is and at least this way, maybe this medication will help him heal faster if we don't have to stop due to Johnny being so frustrated._

"Alright, we'll try it," Roy broke the silence, heaving a sigh.

"I'll start him on a small dose in the morning. I'm going to start him at 5mg, three times a day," Karl explained. "It should start working in a week or so. If we don't see improvement than, I'll double the dosage."

"Thanks," Jo said.

Praying the next day would be better, Roy and Joanne left the hospital early, knowing the sedative given to Johnny would keep him asleep until at least breakfast. Although Chris and Jenny were disappointed about not being able to see him, they were more understanding about Johnny getting upset than either thought they would be.

"But as Jenny pointed out," Roy told Johnny the next day to make sure he understood their family still wanted him and loved him. "If anyone of us were in your place, we would be upset too. I mean, I may not see my mom or dad much, but I still have them. Your Aunt Jo still has her parents as well. Then, to wake up and realize you lost a lot of time, are somewhere you don't know, well I don't know if I could handle things as good as you."

"Mom says everyone has story and is already wrote in stars. Cannot change it so do not fight it. Learn. Grow. See beauty," Johnny shared.

Thinking about that concept, Roy could see the wisdom.

"Your mom sure sounds like she was a wonderful, smart person," Roy told Johnny.

"She was."

Clearing his throat, Roy asked, "Are you ready to begin today?"

"Yes," John smiled. "Can't wait."

With that, the two began eating their breakfast of homemade French toast, bacon and eggs with milk and apple juice while they waited for the therapist. When they came in and set up, Roy cleared up the breakfast mess and stood back to watch how well Johnny did. Like the previous morning, he was able to walk four steps before tiring. Thankfully, he didn't get frustrated over this and after a nap, Johnny began working on the activities left by Scarlett so that he was ready to work on the harder stuff after lunch.

As the two of them were finishing up tossing a ball, Davis came in and wondered out loud, "Is someone here ready to walk again?"

Raising his hand eagerly, Johnny began scooting towards the edge of the bed, before stopping at the looks coming from three different people. With a sheepish grin on his face, he just shrugged. Laughing, Davis just set the walker by the bed and had just Scarlett help him to stand. Once he was standing though, both he and Scarlett hung onto John lightly as he took small, tentative steps. Unlike the morning, he managed a total of seven steps before he was breathing too heavily and was too exhausted to continue.

"Wow!" exclaimed Davis. "Do this well tomorrow and I think I will have to talk to Doctor Early about getting you out of here in a few more days."

"Really?" Johnny panted as he was more or less lifted back into bed.

"Really," Davis said sincerely.

"Now, how about you rest up, you did a lot of great work today," Scarlett told him with a bright smile.

Blinking slowly, Johnny thought that sounded like a great idea and within ten minutes was fast asleep. As soon as he was sleeping deep enough, Roy asked if the two of them were serious about what they had said.

"You know that Scarlett and I are the only ones that are keeping Johnny here now," Davis gently reminded Roy.

"Yeah, you're right, it's just…surreal," Roy admitted. "We've had to go through so many hoops. Making sure Doctor Early was fine with how well Johnny was doing physically and how his recovery was doing. Then waiting for Karl's approval that he felt our family could deal with issues that came up."

"Honestly, I have to admire you and your family, as well as co-workers," Davis told him. "I heard how much you guys have been through and been working to make sure that things go as smoothly as possible. Not a lot of people would do that for a co-worker."

"I guess it's different in our line of work. If we don't trust each other, know that have each other's back, and believe in one another, there is no way we can function," Roy pointed out.

"True," Scarlett said. "But anyway, we should get going and let the two of you rest. Tomorrow, we'll get him the wheelchair, take him for a short ride. If he does well, he can be released the day after."

Smiling broadly, Roy walked with them to the door.

"I'll call Cap, let him know," he said. "I know he wanted to know the minute I found out. I just can't wait until Joanne gets here."

"We'll see you tomorrow," Davis promised, leaving behind one very happy man.


	43. Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I apologize for not updating sooner. Between the holidays which is very stressful on an autistic person and an ER visit, I haven't been doing well.

Not long after the new medication was introduced to John’s system, Davis began noticing that he had some more trouble balancing and figuring out how to coordinate his body to move properly. Concerned, he called a meeting with the DeSoto’s, Doctor Early, Karl, and Scarlett to explain what he was seeing.

“I’m not sure if this is just a typical reaction to the medication you put him on Karl or if this is just a side effect of the brain injury,” he explained to the group.

“I’ve noticed in the last day or so Johnny seems a bit off as well,” Roy admitted. “When I asked, he just said it was as if he was walking through mud and fog. I just assumed it a normal side effect of the mood stabilizer and once his body got used to it, Johnny wouldn’t feel like that so much. I honestly didn’t see his progress decline, let alone go backwards.”

“It’s okay, honey,” Joanne assured him. “I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary either.”

“And that is why John has so many different doctors,” Karl pointed out. “There is a lot of different areas that are important to his recovery and to have one person or even just you two responsible for making sure that Johnny is progressing as well as he can is just not reasonable. Think about this. Even though I have spent time with Johnny daily, although I did notice slower response times, it wasn’t so bad as to think it was anything but the medication I had put him on. It is definitely not unusual for a person to be more tired and have that type of reaction for the first week on the medication.”

“So, the question is, is it just the medication or is there more going on?” Scarlett stated.

“Well,” Doctor Druthers pondered that for a while. “Although it isn’t unusual for a patient who just started Chlordiazepoxide to feel the way John is, I honestly can’t recall a case where someone had more issues with movement as you described. Yes, it could cause some weakness, but trouble with coordination? I don’t think that is even a remote possibility. I could be wrong of course, but…”

“I agree. I researched the medication myself and even though it hasn’t been used on patients in John’s situation, I think I may have an idea what may be happening,” Joe spoke up after listening. “I’ve seen his latest C.T. Scan and the swelling is continuing to go down and the bruises are healing slowly. One thing that can happen during the recovery from a brain injury is that a person becomes so exhausted, that they can become weaker and have coordination problems for a period of time. Usually, the exhaustion is caused by becoming over emotional, over stressed, working too hard or too much, but I think in John’s case, the problem is the medication.”

Seeing the confusion on Roy and Joanne’s face, Joe explained, “The medication is making Johnny even more tired than he already is and that is taxing his body even further. Until his system is used to the medication, the medication is causing a reaction similar to what would happen if we pushed John too hard or he became too emotional.”

“So, basically, this problem will resolve, but we just have to wait,” Joanne slowly said.

“I believe so,” Doctor Early said.

“What do we do in the meantime?” question Roy.

“Personally, I would suggest that Davis and Scarlett continue with the therapy program. Just make sure to watch Johnny carefully, take breaks when needed and make sure he knows that if he needs to rest, he can. Encourage him to rest more. We’ll just keep doing that until he becomes used to the medication and is doing better,” Joe assured them.

“Typically, it takes about a week, maybe two weeks at the outside, for someone to get used to the medication and dosage we have John on,” Doctor Druthers said.

“But, what if this medication doesn’t work?” Roy frowned, concerned as he knew there was no guarantees.

“Then, we try a different one,” Karl said simply. “We may face the same issues again, but there is no set timeline here. We just keep working on getting Johnny better without pushing him so hard that we cause a setback.”

Nodding, Joanne sighed and reached over to squeeze Roy’s hand.

“Thanks, you guys. I can’t tell you how grateful we are that you include us in these meetings,” she said, her voice wavering.

Scarlett reached across the table and rubbed her arm as she assured her, “You two are the reason Johnny is doing so well. Without the love and support you have given him, he wouldn’t be so far along as he is right now. Plus, the way your kids and their Uncle Mike have been here when they can has been invaluable. Your knowledge of who he was and willingness to just be there for him makes our job a lot easier! So trust us, it would be stupid of us not to have you in here helping us out!”

Smiling at her, Joanne just blushed while Roy cleared his throat awkwardly.

Feeling the two were unsure what to say, Karl took over, “How about we see if Johnny is ready for some more practice before lunch?”

Nodding, the two DeSoto’s followed the therapists to Johnny’s room while Karl and Joe headed off to accomplish other tasks. Now that they had a better idea of what was happening and what was ahead for their family, Roy and Joanne felt better than they had in the last two days.

_I guess what they say is true…knowledge is power,_ Joanne thought as she looked at Johnny sleeping peacefully in his room. _I just hope and pray that he can soon start getting used to that medication. I sometimes think that it is almost worse for him to be on it as he gets even more frustrated as he is struggling to do tasks he could do before. Yet, I know the cycles of depressions that he could plunge into so quickly and the rages that were springing up aren’t good either. Nor were the frequent nightmares. It just seems like a no win situation for him…_

Sighing, Joanne stopped outside the room and leaned back into her husband who wrapped his arms around her.

“We’ll get through this, hun,” he whispered, knowing what was on her mind. “We both know the medication, as rough as it is right now to deal with the adjustment, is needed for now.”

“I know,” she sighed heavily. “It’s just…”

“You wish this hadn’t happened,” he finished for her.

“Exactly. I am just so glad you are taking the job with Doctor Brackett,” she admitted.

Smiling slightly, Roy admitted, “After what happened to Johnny here, there is no way I could go back to what I did full-time. I could never put myself in the position for something like this to happen to me after seeing how much it affects us trying to help Johnny through this.”

“Thank you,” she whispered

“Welcome,” he replied.

Gathering their strength, the two of them went in to help Davis and Scarlett with Johnny’s physical and occupational therapy before lunch. While doing so, Roy explained to Johnny what they had learned from Karl and Joe about how the new medication he was on was making him feel odd. Jo picked up at that point and said that although things might be harder for a while, once he got used to the medication, things would get easier again.

John just looked at them skeptically, wondering, _Why should I believe them? First, they say I am doing good and will do more good as time passes. Then, I get more pills that make me feel bad and make things worse. Why should I believe?_

Unfortunately, even though all four of the adults in the room saw the look Johnny gave them, none of them were quite sure what it meant. John refused to tell them, but after the discussion with Doctor Druthers, they all felt that perhaps Johnny just wasn’t sure of how to respond or they weren’t wording the question the right way. So as not to upset him, they just let it alone, causing Johnny to become more suspicious of their actions.

Things continued on like this for the next four days, with Johnny speaking little unless it was a direct question about how something felt. Inside, however, a rage was building that even Doctor Druthers didn’t detect. Johnny himself really didn’t understand it himself either. All he was aware of was the fact that in the middle of his chest, a hot fire was burning and each passing day, it grew hotter and bigger. Finally, on the fourth day when Joanne came with breakfast and Roy tried to wake him up, Johnny couldn’t stop himself.

“LEAVE ME ‘LONE! JUST LIKE THEM! TELL ME WHAT, WHEN, HOW TO DO! TIRED! WANNA GO HOME! HATE HERE!” he screamed at them, panting heavily from waking up abruptly.

Taken back, Roy motioned Jo to get help. Right then, he was just thankful Johnny was ranting and not trying to escape or take a swing at him. Despite every effort to calm him down, nothing seemed to work and his screaming seeming to go on forever. Within a few minutes though, Johnny was exhausted and out of breath, too tired to go on.

“Hate here,” John mumbled, trying to keep his eyes open. “Mean…home…”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Roy soothed him, gently rubbing his arm despite the fact Johnny had at first yanked it back. “Just rest, ok Junior?”

As he was taking his vitals, Karl and Joe came into the room with Joanne close behind. Puzzlement crossed their faces when they saw John sleeping.

“What happened?” Joe whispered.

“I tried to wake him up for breakfast and well…” Roy threw his hand up. “He kind of just exploded. Started yelling about hating it here, wanting to go home, wanting to be left alone, how we are just like them, although I am not sure who they are. He was almost hyperventilating, but wasn’t trying to fight or anything. Just yelling.”

“Sounds like he reached a breaking point,” Karl suggested. “I wouldn’t be too surprised and honestly, I have been surprised at how well he has been doing. I thought perhaps he was hiding things, but each time I would observe how he was with you and your family, he seemed even more relaxed. I just assumed he was coping and despite the memory problems, still had a sense of the bond with you Roy.”

Sighing heavily, Roy shrugged, “Who knows? Maybe he was coping until he got on this new med? Could that be it?”

Thinking on it, Doctor Druthers slowly shook his head, “I don’t think so. I’ve assessed him each night and his moods have been leveling out.”

“Wait, I’m confused,” Joanne held up a hand. “You’re talking about mood stabilizing and coping like they’re two different things? Aren’t they the same? I mean, it makes no sense to be able to cope well if your mood isn’t stabilized, at least to me.”

“Actually, they are two different areas. Think of those with manic depression. It takes a lot to level out their moods. Yet, even when their moods aren’t stable or level, they can have enough skills to cope with their disorder and situation. That is more or less what is going on here,” Karl explained.

“So, you thought he was dealing with the situation fairly well, even though he would become depressed or get angry quickly for no reason?” she clarified.

“Yes, although the reason is likely due to the brain injury.”

Sighing, she asked, “So, what set this off?”

“It could be a number of things, but I think right now, Johnny is simply overwhelmed by the sound of it. If I had to guess, he is also relating how he was treated at the ranch to how he is treated here,” Dr. Druthers said. “Right now, for his mental health, I would like to allow him to just sleep. When he wakes up, I’ll speak with him and try to determine what happened. What happens after that will depend on what I find out, alright?”

Nodding, Roy and Joanne looked to Joe for his opinion on how Johnny was doing.

“I don’t see any ill effects from the outburst,” he assured him. “Why don’t you two go somewhere for breakfast, take a break? I have a feeling it will be a bit before Johnny is awake.”

Hesitating, Joe encouraged them, “We really have been working with Johnny a lot to make sure he continues recovering well. This was probably his way of saying he needed a break. And if he needs a break, than you two must as well.”

“Alright,” Jo reluctantly said. “We’ll go home for a while, but call if you need us. Otherwise, we’ll come back around lunchtime with something for him to eat.”

“Sounds great,” Joe smiled at them as he and Karl herded them towards the door. “I’ll see you guys later on.”

“Thank you,” Joanne gratefully said as she led her husband to the elevator, knowing it was difficult to leave Johnny behind. It was difficult for her as well, but she knew the doctors and nurses would pay extra attention to Johnny while they were gone and quite honestly, she knew they could both use a break as the time towards John’s release date grew closer.


	44. Outing

Shortly after breakfast the next day, both Dave and Scarlett came in with a modified wheelchair. Unlike standard ones, this one had a higher back and the footrest went straight across. Neither of them knew how well Johnny would be able to balance on his own quiet yet and felt it would be better to be safe than sorry.

“Alright, Johnny,” Dave explained as he moved the wheelchair around. “I’m going to put the wheelchair a few steps away and once we have the footrest here moved, we’ll have you sitting here. Doctor Early still wants to keep you leaning back a bit, so as soon as we have you seated, I am going to adjust the back to where it should go. Sounds good?”

“Think so,” Johnny slowly said, trying to remember how to move again.

 _Mind feels like I walking in fog,_ he sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Roy asked, picking up that something wasn’t exactly right.

“Feel…odd,” John told him.

“How so?” Scarlett asked, concern in her voice.

“It be like when you walk in fog and mud,” he stated with a grimaced.

“Is that how it feels to think?” queried Jo, feeling she had an idea of what was taking place.

“Yeah!” Johnny smiled at her, grateful someone got it.

Sitting beside him, Jo told him, “Remember Doctor D gave you some pills yesterday? And you have been taking them since then?”

Nodding, he wondered what that had to do with anything.

“Well, sometimes, what happens with the medication you were given, is that your body has to get used to it first. So, your mind feeling like it has slowed down is because you are taking the pills,” Jo spelled out. “Once you have been on them for a while, your body should stop feeling like that. We do want to know once it stops or if anything else feels odd.”

“So, soon will stop?”

“Yes,” she assured him. “If not, we can always see if some other medication might help.”

“Why on it?”

“It will help you not feel like your mood is in control so much,” Roy took over.

“Glad, hate that.”

“I’m sure you do,” Roy smiled. “Should we try out the chair?”

“I get to go out of room?” hope shone in Johnny’s eyes as he asked that.

“Yep. In fact, Aunt Jo and I have a small surprise for you once you can manage getting in and out,” Roy promised.

“Okay, we can start now, right?” Johnny eagerly asked.

As the adults chuckled, Dave and Scarlett went over the wheelchair one last time, making sure the brakes were set.

“Okay, just like before, only this time, instead of Dave helping, Roy and Jo will be helping you out,” Scarlett coached. “Alright, sit up as much as you can, than slowly turn. Good, good. Nice and slow. Now, put your feet over the bed, grab onto the walker. That’s it, good job! Next lean forward just a bit Johnny. Roy and Jo, just guide him as he gets to his feet.”

Slowly, but surely with the help of his “aunt” and “uncle”, Johnny finally locked his knees in place and grasped the bars of the walker tightly before standing up as straight as possible. Letting him catch his breath, Scarlett waited a minute before continuing on.

“Okay, now Johnny, just like before, take a few steps forward. Nice and slow. That’s it,” she praised as he carefully walked the four steps to where the wheelchair was. “Okay, now this will be a lot harder, but your Aunt Jo and Uncle Roy will be right there if you need them. Turn the walker sideways. That’s it. Now, carefully turn yourself sideways. Great job! Now, keep one hand on the walker and with the other, reach behind you to find the chair.”

As Johnny took a shaky hand and blindly sought out the arm, his breathing increased.

“It’s okay, Junior, we got you,” Roy assured him. “You almost have it. Just a bit more…There! Feel that?”

Nodding, Johnny let out a deep breathe.

“Okay, now, I want you to hang on to that arm,” Scarlett directed. “As you move back into the chair, use that arm to help you hold on. Slowly move your other hand onto the other arm and sit down as slow as possible.”

As the four of them watched, they saw fear, determination, confusion, and a sense of accomplishment race across John’s face as he slowly, but surely did as instructed. Although his moves were anything but graceful and he would have ended up more or less falling if it wasn’t for Roy and Jo’s assistance, both Scarlett and Dave knew that for a first attempt, it was beyond what they could hope for.

“Wow! You did great!” Dave said, clearly impressed. “Must want to get out of here and home, huh.”

A flash of fear crossed Johnny’s face.

Kneeling down, Roy softly asked, “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to go home with Aunt Jo and I?”

Mumbling something, Roy lifted up his face gently, “I promise not to laugh or take anything the wrong way. I just want to know what you are thinking.”

Johnny looked up with tear-filled eyes, “Too much cost. Mom, dad had hard time. You two nice, don’t want you to hate me.”

“Hey, now,” Jo said, also kneeling down as Scarlett and Dave moved out of the way. “We could never hate you. Just like your parents could never hate you. We are family, even if you can’t remember right now. I know your parents sent you to us. You want to know why we are so sure of that?”

Shaking his head no, Johnny couldn’t bear to look at her.

“You make it feel like our family is now complete. Before, well, we did think our family was full, but when you came in our lives, we realized we were missing something. Someone. And that someone was you. You bring something we can’t explain to our family. We are closer, have more fun, and that is because of you,” Joanne told him fiercely.

“And don’t you worry about the cost of money. I know it had to be rough where you lived, but you live in California now, in a bigger city. People don’t care so much about where you come from so it is easier to get a well-paying job,” Roy fibbed a bit. “It isn’t fair, it isn’t right, but that is how it is. Also, because of how you were hurt, there is a fund that helps people who got hurt like you did. It also helps that since I am a firefighter, hospital stuff doesn’t cost much for me or my family. That includes you.

“So, you see, all you need to worry about is working on getting better. If you don’t get something, are worried about something, or just need to talk, our whole family promises to be here for you. We can handle it, okay? Can you promise to try and work on that for us?” he asked.

Nodding, Johnny leaned forward and gave him a hug. Startled by his grown partner doing so, Roy looked over at Jo to see her smiling.

“Hug him,” she mouthed.

Doing so, while trying not to blush, Roy realized in that moment, he wasn’t hugging his 30 year old paramedic partner. He was actually hugging a scared little boy who had just lost his parents and was tossed into a world full of hurt and confusion where nothing made sense anymore. He no longer had any connection to what life had been like before and to suddenly be tossed from a warm, loving home to a cruel orphanage to an unknown situation in what his brain assumed took place within a very short time period, well, who could blame him for seeking comfort? Roy certainly couldn’t and even thinking of what if it had been his own child had him holding onto Johnny just a bit tighter and a bit longer as he choked back his tears.

As soon as John was ready to sit back, Roy questioned “Are you ready for a special treat?”

“Sure!” John enthusiastically said, curious as to what would happen.

“Alright than,” Joanne said, covertly wiping her eyes as she stood up after unlocking the brakes. “Led the way, Uncle Roy!”

With that, Dave came over and made sure everything was set properly on the chair before allowing Roy to push the chair and Jo to follow besides them. He and Scarlett tagged along behind them once they had let the nurse know about the field trip. Both Roy and Jo tried engaging John in conversation, but try as they might, he was too excited about getting out his room for the first time.

“Good thing the next stop is our stop,” Jo giggled. “Otherwise, Joe might have had to go in and tighten some screws.”

“Jo!” Roy hissed, failing not to laugh.

“What, you have to admit, he has not lost his curiosity,” she remarked.

Shaking his head, Roy smiled.

 _No, he hasn’t. Every new person or place we have come across, he scans it like he is trying to memorize it. Thank goodness we are at the cafeteria!_ Roy thought.

“Aunt Jo is going to get you some hot chocolate and some cookies. We thought it might be a nice treat since you’ve been doing so well,” Roy said when Johnny looked around to see where she went.

“Never had hot chocolate…” he whispered.

“I think you’ll like it. It’s like drinking melted chocolate, although Aunt Jo makes it better than they do here.”

Nodding, Johnny continued looking around at the outside space. Although small, to him, it was worlds better than being cooped up in his room. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and just breathed in the scents around him.

“Missed this,” he confessed.

“Being outside?” Roy wondered.

“Yeah.”

“We’ll try to get you out more,” Roy promised.

“Anytime Roy is home,” Jo agreed as she came barring a cup of hot coco and a small stack of chocolate chip cookies. “I’m afraid you’ll have to share the cookies with Uncle Roy. He can be cranky if he doesn’t get cookies.”

“Hey!” Roy protested with a small.

“You do,” Jo shrugged.

Giggling, Johnny made as if to pull the cookies over to him and away from Roy.

“Hey! Share!” Roy said, trying to look ferocious, but instead ended up laughing when Johnny shook his head and laughed. “Do I have to growl?”

“Maybe,” Johnny grinned. “I give you one.”

“One!”

“I shared,” he laughed at the outrageous face.

Sighing, Roy shook his head.

“Look over there,” he pointed.

“Where?” Johnny asked, turning as much as possible.

Grabbing the cookies back, Roy began munching on one.

“Hey!”

“Are you two fighting fair?” Jo had seen what was happening, but waited a bit before coming back with the two cups of coffee.

“He took cookies,” Johnny looked at her pitifully.

“He took them first,” Roy defended himself.

Rolling her eyes, Joanne grabbed the cookies, ignoring the “hey’s!” and split them up evenly.

“Why’d I get one less?” Roy pouted.

“Cause I know you ate one already,” she glared at him teasingly. “So, how do you like the coco, Johnny?”

“Coco is yummy!”

“Good,” she smiled. “I talked to your therapists, they said as soon as we are done here, Nurse Dixie is going to come up. She’ll help you with making sure you can clean up from the chair. If all goes well, we can take you home tomorrow.”

“Really!”

“Only if things go well,” Roy cautioned.

“What we wait for,” John asked, eager to see how well he could do.

“Don’t you want to finish your hot coco and cookies?” Joanne asked, amused.

“Oh, yeah,” Johnny looked down and scrunched his nose.

_I want to eat, but want to know…_

Deciding, he began eating as fast as he could. Smiling, Joanne just brushed off the layers of crumbs that were accumulating and made sure when he drank that he had a firm grip on the glass since he still had issues with that. Soon enough, although not soon enough for John, it was time for what he felt was the final test to see if he could go home.


	45. Going Home

Thankfully, Johnny had passed the test of being able to clean up with the help of Dixie and was able to transfer himself fairly well from the wheelchair to the toilet. With a long list of instructions, a bagful of medications and a schedule of appointments for therapy and check-ups, Johnny was pronounced healthy enough to start recovering at the DeSoto’s. Although normally he could have been sent home that morning, after having to be checked over by Doctor Early, Doctor Druthers and both therapists, Roy and Joanne agreed to wait until after lunch so Johnny could take a nap. It also gave Mike Stoker time to recover a bit from his shift so he could come and help with the trip home.

When they were finally on the way out of the hospital, Johnny was amazed when they exited the hospital.

“Huge!”

“What’s huge?” Mike asked from behind the wheelchair as he and Joanne waited for Roy to bring the car around.

“Whole place bigger than my town.”

Thinking a moment, Joanne nodded, “I imagen so. Los Angeles, which is the city we are in, is a big city.”

“We’ll make sure not to lose you,” Mike assured Johnny, squeezing his shoulder gently. “I know this is a big change, but there are lots of people who want to help. Not just your aunt and uncle here or me. There are also a few other people you’ll meet later on.”

“I think Uncle Roy and Uncle Mike’s boss, Captain Stanley, will be at our home,” Jo warned Johnny.

“Why?” panic crept into his voice.

“We want someone to make sure everything was all set up for you and to be there with Jenny,” Roy said, getting out of the car. “His wife will be by to drop off Chris soon after and to pick him up.”

“It’ll be fine. He’s like a dad to everyone who works for him,” Joanne reassured John. “Now, how about we get you in the car?”

Nodding, Johnny allowed Mike and Roy to help him stand up before walking a couple of feet to the car. Turning slightly, Roy and Mike gently set him down and watched as Johnny slowly moved his feet behind the driver’s car. Closing the door behind their friend, Mike went around the other side while Roy went to help Joanne get the wheelchair, walker and suitcases into the truck of their car.

“Johnny?” Mike cautiously asked, seeing his eyes were closing.

“Hmmm?”

“You need to buckle up yet before we can get going.”

“Huh?” Johnny was confused.

_What does he mean by that? I have pajama pants on…no buckle on._

Seeing the confused look, Mike slowly reached over and took the seat belt and explained what he was doing. As he was finishing, Roy and Jo slipped into the car, asking if everyone was all set. Assuring them that he and John were, Mike kept an eye on Johnny as they made their way to the DeSoto’s home. Although Mike would have bet Johnny would have fallen asleep, the sights kept him wide awake.

“Whoa,” John breathed out as the passed high rises and buildings he had never before seen. “Huge!”

Turning into the residential area they lived in, Roy heard Johnny suck in his breath. When they finally arrived at the house, John spoke up.

“Who live here beside you?” he asked softly.

Peering up at ranch style house, Roy became confused, “Just Aunt Jo, myself as well as Chris and Jenny. Why?”

“But, it huge! You must be rich!” Slapping his hand over his mouth in horror, Johnny quickly apologized, “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

“It’s okay sweetie,” Joanne comforted him, a bit surprised.

_I never thought of ourselves as well off. I mean, yes, this is a decent neighborhood, but with the paint peeling and so many things needing fixing, I always wished for something better._

“Why don’t we go inside and I’ll show you around?” Roy offered, opening his door while Mike retrieved the wheelchair.

Watching from the window, Hank waited with patience as Johnny was helped into the chair and rolled up the makeshift ramp the Station 51 A shift crew had made. As they reached the door, he pulled it open and smiled down at his youngest charge.

“Hi, John,” Hank said.

Starring up at the very tall man, Johnny’s eyes grew wide and his breathing increased. Sensing that his presence wasn’t helping, Hank backed away and went to get the bags left in the car.

“Hey, it’s okay Johnny,” Joanne gently gave John a hug. “I know he looks scary, but trust me, he has been worried about you.”

Seeing Jenny peaking around the corner, Jo waved her over.

“Hey,” she said softly, giving him a gently hug. “Welcome home.”

“Thank you,” he said, glancing everywhere but her eyes as his were filling with tears. It had been so long since he had felt welcomed.

Jumping slightly when the screen door shut, John let out a hiss of pain and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Man, I’m sorry John,” Hank hurried over to him after placing the suitcases down. Kneeling down, he asked, “I’m also sorry I scared you before. I forgot I tend to be so tall! Even my wife and kids let me know that if I want to talk, I have to sit, so you do the same okay?”

Nodding, Johnny continued glancing around, his face showing his puzzlement by some things.

“What you looking at?” Jenny ventured, since all of the adults were either talking about something she couldn’t hear or coming back from taking things into John’s room.

Waving to bring Jenny closer, feeling very dumb, Johnny whispered to her, “What’s that?”

“That?” she confirmed he was pointing to the TV. “That is a television or TV for short. Ever seen one?”

“Heard about it I think,” John said, not very confidently. “What’s it do?”

“You turn it on and then you can see shows about different things. I like the one called the Flintstones. It is a cartoon,” seeing the look of confusion, Jenny explained it in further details.

“Wow,” Johnny was in awe. “Think I’ll get to see it ever?”

Looking up towards her parents, Jenny saw they had been listening to the two of them talk. Shrugging, she simply said, “Why not ask?”

Startled, Johnny shrank back a bit in the chair. It was much easier talking to Jenny, even though she was a bit older than he was. The idea of talking to her parents or the two other adults was still scary.

Seeing how he had reacted, Jo told him, “I think we’ll be able to let you watch some TV. We don’t allow much TV and we do want our kids to do things before we let them watch. Since we consider you family, the same rules apply. Right now, your main job is to rest and work on getting better. When you have a break, if there is a show both Uncle Roy and I think is fine for you to watch, we’ll let you watch it. How does that sound?”

Nodding, Johnny began yawning.

“Speaking of resting, I think we should show you your room,” Roy announced. “Then, I think you should try and rest, alright?”

“Okay, Uncle Roy,” sighed Johnny, knowing it was pointless to argue.

Pushing him into the guest room that had been transformed into a place that could be semi-permanent or permanent if need be, Roy waited as Johnny’s eyes traveled over everything. Although the walls were still painted a cream color, a bunch of furniture geared towards a young child had been donated. There were a couple of bookcases painted in blue, one filled with various books, the other partially filled with games and puzzles. The closet held clothes that were once from Johnny’s apartment and his dresser had the knobs replaced. Instead of the standard brass circles, baseballs and basketballs knobs were now on the dresser to give it a more fun-feeling. The few pictures of Johnny’s family that the Station 51 A-shift crew could find were placed on top of the bookcases and dresser. The bed was made up with blue sheets and covered with the Native American blanket he had inherited after his parents had passed.

Seeing all that had been done to make him feel welcome, Johnny began to cry, “Wh…Why?”

“Why did we do all this?” Jo asked softly, sitting on the edge of the bed across from him.

Nodding, Johnny tried holding back his tears and sniffled, but to no avail. Smiling slightly when Jenny handed him a box of tissues, he blew his nose.

“This too much…” he said in awe.

“No,” Roy told him. “We really do consider you a part of our family. To us, well, it is something we enjoy doing. We let Jenny and Chris choose some of the things in their rooms, so it seemed only right to get you started. If there is something you don’t like or miss, just tell us and we will do our best to get it.”

“We want you to know this is your home, just as much as it Jenny’s or Chris’, mine or Uncle Roy’s,” Joanne softly lectured. “Now, how about we get you into bed?”

Sighing, Johnny admitted, “Am sleepy.”

Standing up, Jo pulled back the sheets, while Roy set up the walker next to the bed and helped Johnny transfer.

“Now, this bell is really loud. If you need anything at all, just shake it. We don’t care what time it is, okay?” Joanne told him. “We’ll check in with you, but don’t get up without help.”

“Promise,” John said sleepily. “Like the horsey lamp.”

Smiling, Roy brushed away the invisible hair on his forehead, “Alright, get some sleep, Junior. We’ll wake you for supper unless you need us sooner.”

As his eyes grew heavier and heavier, Johnny barely heard Joanne wish him a good rest and sweet dreams. With a smile on his face, he fell into a comfortable sleep, feeling safe and loved for the first time in what seemed like forever.


	46. Coming Home

About fifteen minutes after Johnny fell asleep, Irene came to drop off Chris. Greeting her husband, Mike, as well as the other DeSoto’s, she peeked in on Johnny. Satisfied that he was still sleeping as well as he could, Irene made her way back into the living room where Joanne had gathered up snacks and drinks for everyone.

“Oh, you didn’t have to go through all this,” Irene softly scolded, a smile on her face.

Also smiling, Jo simply said, “It was the least I could do. How was things today, Chris?”

“Great!” he told her enthusiastically. “We’re planning out all the stuff we’ll need for the camping trip that’s coming up in a couple weeks.”

“But what did we talk about in the car?” Irene gently prodded Chris, hoping he would open up to his parents.

“What?” Roy was concerned, seeing the downcast look on his son’s face.

“Well…” he breathed out slowly. “I know all this stuff is going on with Uncle Johnny…and you and mom are going to be busy helping him out, especially now that he is home. I told Mr. Daniels that you wouldn’t be able to help out like you usually do. I mean, like going with us and stuff, ya know?

“I get why, so don’t feel bad, okay?” Chris added in a rush, not wanting them to feel guilty. Despite the disappointment over knowing his dad couldn’t go this year on the Scout camping trip, he really did get why.

Sighing, Roy looked over to Joanne, who nodded to him. Glancing over to Cap and Mike, he hoped that he wouldn’t be building up false hope for either Chris or Jenny.

“Actually, and this does depend on how things go, as well as a few other things, but,” Roy paused, leaning towards Chris. “Since the trip is still two weeks away, what your mom and I are hoping is that by the time your Boy Scout camp out is here, Johnny will be more comfortable around Mike and Cap.”

Interrupting, as he could tell where Roy was headed, Mike held up his hand, “I’d have no problem staying here while you and Chris went on the camp out. I have plenty of vacation time saved up and the Chiefs are more than willing to be flexible so we can help out any way you guys need us. If you don’t mind, I can stick around more while I’m off shift, so Johnny gets used to me. I believe it would help a lot.”

“Plus, the camp site you go to is near a ranger station,” Hank put in. “So, if something does come up, it would be fairly easy to get a message to you. Our shift, along with the doctors Johnny is working with is close by and should be able to manage whatever comes up until you get back.”

“A similar situation can be set up when Jenny has her Scout camp. I’d be more than happy to continue helping out with meals, as will Marco’s mom I’m sure. Even if not, it won’t be much different than years past. I’ll just come over for at least a few hours or so every day, help out with chores and whatnot so you can concentrate on helping Johnny,” Irene put in.

“I don’t know,” Joanne wearily said. “It just seems like a lot to be asking of all of you.”

Sliding over, Irene embraced Jo, “Honey, we truly don’t mind. We’ve never minded helping out with the kids when the camping trips come up. This isn’t much different. Hank and I, heck, all of the Station 51 crew, feel like he is part of the family. Besides, I really think it’ll be good for both you and the kids to continue the tradition.”

“Besides, you two as well as Chris and Jenny, are going to need breaks at some point. This will help all of you and Johnny get used to relying on others when things get to be too much,” Mike pointed out.

“Alright,” Joanne gave them a watery smile. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. And you can tell how much Jen and Chris appreciate it.”

“Just remember, it does depend on how things are going,” Roy cautioned, hating to dim the brightened looks on his children’s faces.

“We know dad,” Chris groaned. “We wouldn’t want to go if Johnny wasn’t doing well anyway.”

“Anyway, before we take off, I thought we’d show you some things we did around the house,” Hank purposeful changed the subject. “Some of the ideas came from the docs, some from Mike and some, well, well, maybe our crew went overboard, but we figured it was better safe than sorry. You can always undo them later.”

Standing up, Hank and Irene led them into the kitchen, showing them a bolt that had been installed at the top of the sliding patio door.

“You can still open it a few inches, but you have to disengage the lock to open it all the way,” Mike explained. “That way, if Johnny gets confused, upset or something, he shouldn’t be able to get out.”

“We also moved the medications to a top cupboard and put a child-proof sliding lock on that cupboard. We also did the same to the cleaners that are stored here in the kitchen,” Irene pointed out. “The doctors feel that he shouldn’t be able to manipulate them. We also installed the sliding cabinet locks on the cabinet under the bathroom sinks, both in your room, as well as the main bathroom and half-bath.

“Each of the doctors gave us a schedule of the appointments John us, as well as if they are going to be done here or at the hospital. They also included what, if anything, would be needed to be brought to the appointment. I took that list and set up a schedule similar to the one you have posted for Chris and Jennifer here on the refrigerator,” Irene shrugged at the astounded looks. “I also have the original ones behind the weekly schedules.”

Taking over, Hank said, “I hope you don’t mind, but we posted John’s medication schedule not only here on the fridge, but also in the cabinet with the medication, as well as one by each phone. It was suggested by both Mike and John’s doctors, just in case of emergency.”

Nodding, Roy and Joanne just followed Mike, Hank and Irene silently, stunned by how much was done. Their two kids were floored by how much had been done just in the few hours they had been gone that day.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but we also installed a bolt similar to the one on the patio door to the front door. Again, it was for the same reason,” Mike explained as he went to the window next to the door. “Each window in the house now has these plastic “wings” that are stuck on by adhesives. To open the window fully, just press the flaps down completely. I would recommend having at least one adult watching Johnny when the window is open.

“I don’t expect there to be a problem,” he said, eyes down. “But, then again, we aren’t sure how he is thinking and my sister has tried to escape through windows. These have helped a lot. When someone isn’t in the room, you just simply press the flaps again, which pop up. The Cap, crew and I have it set so you can open the window about four inches.”

“All the outlets that were open now have covers, rugs were removed, cords wrapped and placed out of the way as much as possible and the fireplace hearth has a cushion around the edge,” Hank listed as his eyes darted around the room as if making sure everything was ready for inspection.

“Wow…I’m not sure what to say,” Joanne’s voice trembled. “I think you thought of everything.”

“Well,” Irene said softly. “We did do a few more things, such as line the bathtub with non-slip mats. We also picked up the bath stool Doctor Early recommended, along with the bathtub bars and toilet bar. However, we thought it best to leave it to Roy to install them at the right height.”

Tears spilling over, Jo grabbed Irene in a fierce hug.

“Thank you,” she whispered in a husky voice. “You don’t know how much all this means to me…to us.”

Wiping at his own eyes, Roy’s voice crackled as he told them, “To have all this help, well, I just don’t know what to say other than…thanks. As hard as things have been, you and everyone stepping in to redo our house and Johnny’s room, and especially making sure our kids are taken care of, well, it makes things a little bit easier. A little less scary.”

“Anytime, Roy,” Irene smiled up at him. “Now, I know it’s getting close to supper, so Hank and I will leave you guys to it. There are plenty of meals in the freezer, snacks in the fridge and cupboards. You guys need anything, and I mean _anything,_ just call.”

Nodding, Roy and Jo walked them out, sigh as if a burden had been lifted.

A bit uncomfortable and unsure what to do, but knowing it was important to stick around, Mike announced he would go and wake up Johnny. A bit uncertain at first, Roy nodded his consent, realizing that now that John was home, the main burden would be upon him and his family. With no one knowing how long until Johnny recovered or even if he would recover, it was more important than ever to have Johnny get used to people other than just the DeSoto’s.


	47. First Meal

Walking softly into Johnny’s bedroom, Mike noticed something wasn’t quite right with Johnny. As much as he could, his body was trying to move and he was mumbling something, although what, Mike couldn’t say as it wasn’t in English. Gently sitting on the bed, Mike rubbed John’s shoulders, trying to soothe him.

“Shhh, it’s okay Johnny. You’re safe,” Mike softly assured John. “Time to wake up. Come on, that’s it.”

It took a few minutes of encouragement, but slowly, Johnny opened his chocolate brown eyes. Blinking rapidly, his heart began to race. Seeing the confusion and fear flickering in his eyes, Mike inwardly sighed.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe. We’re at your Uncle Roy’s and Aunt Jo’s,” he informed John.

Calming down slightly, Johnny breathed in, “Uncle Mike?”

“Yep, kiddo, it’s me,” he smiled, relieved at being recognized. “What were you dreaming about?”

“Box. Stuck there.”

“What do you mean?” Mike was confused. He had heard bits and pieces of what had happened at what was called ‘The Ranch’ where Johnny had lived upon being orphaned, but he hadn’t heard about this.

“Was put in box,” Johnny softly said. “Put in at morning. Stay until almost morning. Was bad again.”

“You were put in a box for a day?” Mike asked, horrified.

Nodding slightly, tears welled up in John’s eye, “I try to be good.”

“What did they say you did wrong?”

“I fall sleep in church,” John looked even more downcast and almost worried.

Aghast, Mike couldn’t think of what to say in response for several seconds. Instead, he just stared at John and wondered at what other horrors he had been subject to. Regaining his balance, Mike took a deep breath.

“You should never have been punished for falling asleep in church,” Mike strongly stated. “The way they did so was very bad as well. You do not have to worry about that here. Okay?”

“‘K,” mumbled Johnny.

Having listened in from the doorway, Roy came and sat down on the other side of the bed.

“Aunt Jo and I do have some rules,” he told John. “We do expect you to follow them. If not, you may lose TV time, dessert, or maybe in time out. Time out is when you are put in a corner for ten minutes. We may also send you to your room for a bit. But I can promise you, we will never hurt you like those people did.”

Sniffing, Johnny nodded.

“Why don’t we get you washed up for dinner?” Roy suggested. “Aunt Jo made lasagna for you to try.”

“Okay,” John meekly said.

After giving him a hug, Roy tussled his hair and said, “Alright, let’s get you out of bed. I’ve got some things I want to set up in the bathroom for you to help you out.”

Setting things up in the bathroom to make things easier for Johnny, Roy again stepped back to allow Mike to help Johnny. Despite the overwhelming urge to be the only caretaker for Johnny, Roy realized that would be dangerous. With no way of knowing how long this condition would last or how long it would take for Johnny to regain some independence, regardless of his mental age, he knew that by doing so, it would set a precedent. One that could lead to his own exhaustion, not to mention his family would suffer as well.

Gathering his thoughts as Mike and Johnny came out of the bathroom, Roy followed behind them into the kitchen. As Mike got John settled into a spot, Roy helped set things up for dinner. Within a few minutes, Chris and Jenny were seated as well and the meal was ready. Saying a quick grace, Roy began dishing out Jo’s lasagna.

“Have you ever had lasagna?” Chris wanted to know as he reached for a piece of garlic bread.

“No,” John shook his head, watching as Roy finished cutting up his piece for him.

“It’s really good!” Jenny informed him. “It has noodles, meat, cheese, and sauce.”

Putting the first bite in his mouth cautiously, Johnny smiled widely.

“This good!” he mumbled around the bite.

Laughing, Jo smiled as she told him, “I’m glad you enjoy it, sweetie. Next time, can you finish the mouthful before talking?”

Down casted, Johnny nodded.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mike told him with a twinkle in his eye. “I’ve seen your Uncle Roy do the same thing when he was working.”

Feeling better, Johnny smiled slightly before focusing on his meal. Never before had he tasted anything so good. Yes, the things Aunt Jo had brought for him to eat when he was in the hospital were really good, but this was even better! Before he knew it, the lasagna was gone. Disappointed, and still hungry, Johnny drank the milk through the straw quickly.

Noticing that Johnny had completed his meal, Roy asked if he wanted seconds. Surprise flashed across John’s face.

“Do you want some more?” Roy patiently asked. “It’s okay. If you didn’t notice, Chris and Jenny are having seconds. Uncle Mike will be too, as will Aunt Jo and I.”

“I really have more?” John nearly whispered, shocked. Even with his parents, second helpings were rare.

“Yes,” Jo said kindly. “If you are hungry, just let us know. If it is too close to a meal, we might ask you to wait, but otherwise, we can get you something.”

With everyone looking at him, Johnny started squirming as much as he could.

“Weird.”

“What is?” Jenny wondered.

“Only three meals with parents. Less after,” John explained. “Sure I can have more?”

Dumping another portion on his plate, Roy patted his hand, “It is more than fine. Eat up.”

Smiling, Johnny waited as Roy cut up his portion and again dug in. Everyone had to concentrate hard on their own meal as thoughts of not always getting enough to eat were swirling in their heads. It was also difficult looking at Johnny because despite having more manageable size pieces of lasagna and a large handle spoon to scoop up the pieces, he was still managing to get very dirty.

 _Oh, well,_ Jo shrugged mentally. _I’d rather have John be messy than have him get upset over having someone having to help feed him. Even at this young age, independence is so important to him and I just don’t have the heart to take away any of it. Despite it meaning a major clean-up detail, both in the kitchen and with Johnny. Although, I guess that will fall to Roy and, or Mike._

Roy and Mike were just glad to see some of the happiness come back to Johnny. Both knew how hard it was for the youngest member of their family to have so much taken away from him. It didn’t matter if it would mean more work later on for them, as long as Johnny was happy. Although, as they found out later, trying to clean up the mess left from supper was not as easy as they had hoped.

By the time the sink bath was done, Mike and Roy weren’t sure who was more exhausted, them or Johnny. Knowing it had been a long day, neither of them could fault John, however. Tucking him into bed, Roy showed Mike out as Joanne and the kids said good night to Johnny. By the time Roy had thanked Mike for all his extra help and worked out when Mike would be coming back, John had already fallen asleep. Feeling thankful for that gift, Roy and Joanne spent some much needed quality time with their kids playing The Game of Life, before herding Chris and Jenny off to bed. All four knew that the days of craziness had just begun.


	48. Leaving for Camp

For the next week, the DeSoto’s schedule was fairly calm. Every morning, Dr. Davis Cook would arrive shortly after Jenny and Chris left for their activities for the day. Starting with simple stretches, Davis would continue doing so for twenty minutes. After which, Johnny was allowed a fifteen minute break so he could prepare himself for the next round of exercises. It was much harder as John was required to do more of the stretches on his own without assistances and with added weight on his limbs.

Usually much to Johnny disgust, Scarlett would show up just as he had finished. On his good days, he would just cooperate and try to walk with just their support and do whatever they requested. On his bad days, it would take a lot of time, patience and encouragement to get John’s cooperation. Oftentimes, Roy who typically remained in sight, but didn’t interact, would be called on to talk sense into Johnny. If Mike was there, he too would try to help.

After the combined session, a half-hour snack break was allowed before Scarlett began the Occupation Sessions. Despite them lasting close to an hour, because of the fun nature, Johnny didn’t notice how much time was passing by. It wasn’t until Joanne called for lunch that he would realize how hungry the exercise had made him.

To give Joanne and Roy a break, Dixie as well as either Doctor Early or Doctor Morton would come by around lunch time. Even though John hated it, after the first day, he stopped complaining about having at least Dixie, if not her and a doctor there while he bathed in the shower.

 _At least I get clean!_ he figured. _Hate feeling gross._ _Don’t care if I gotta sleep after._

The next week, things became a bit more complicated, as now that Johnny was getting stronger and able to move around better, he was required to go into the hospital. It took a couple days, but soon a plan was worked out of who would be taking Johnny to his physical and occupation therapy session. Joanne and Roy still wanted to be the main ones to help him out, but with the camping trips for Chris’ Scouts approaching in just a few days, they relied more on Hank and Mike in an effort to get John more comfortable with them.

Soon, the Monday when Chris and Roy would be leaving for five days for their camping trip arrived.

“Alright, Johnny, you understand what is happening?” Roy asked for the tenth time.

“Think so…” he said, biting his lip. “Uncle Mike sleep here. You, Chris go camp. Friday come home. Aunt Jo, Uncle Mike, Uncle Hank help me like always.”

“You got it, Junior!” Roy beamed proudly at him, aware that Chris was smiling too.

“You will be just fine Johnny,” Chris reassured him. “You might even see Uncle Marco or Uncle Chet. I know you haven’t seen them a lot, but they might come by.”

“Okay,” Johnny just agreed, unsure what else to say.

As a horn beeped outside, Roy gave one last hug to Johnny, “Keep up the great work! I’ll see the four of you when we get back.”

Hugging Jenny tightly, he turned to Joanne, “I’ll miss you hun.”

“I’ll miss you too,” she gave him a kiss as the horn blew again. “Now scat, or they’ll leave without you too!”

“We’re going, we’re going!” Roy pretended to grumble, making Johnny and Jenny giggle.

“Bye mom!” Chris said, slamming the door as he followed his dad out the door.

“Bye,” she said. “You would think he was excited or something.”

“I think so…” Mike smiled. “So what is the plan this week?”

“Well, Jenny is getting to go on a girl’s day with Irene soon. Then you and I get to go with John to his session. I guess Davis said something about wanting to show me something while Roy was gone?”

Seeing a smile on Johnny’s face, Mike asked, “You have any idea what is going on?”

“Said walking good,” John shrugged. “Told Uncle Roy.”

“Hmmm,” Mike thought about it and was about to ask more questions when Hank’s car pulled up.

Meeting Irene at the door, Jenny bounced happily when she got there.

“Hi, Irene. I can’t thank you enough for today,” Joanne said.

“Yeah, thanks Aunt Irene!” Jenny was so excited, she couldn’t sit still.

Laughing, Irene smiled down at Jenny, “Trust me. It’s my pleasure. If you don’t mind, I’m kind of excited myself to get going.”

“Alright, alright, go,” Jo said laughing, waving her hands at them. “I get it. Everyone is deserting us here.”

“Mommmm,” Jenny attempted to roll her eyes.

“It’s okay sweetie, I would be the same way,” she assured her. “Besides, Johnny’s evaluation is soon, so we need to get going.”

Confused by the teasing, John had a look that worried Mike.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he wanted to know.

“No one mad?” Johnny wanted to know.

“No…” Mike was now the one confused. Thinking a moment from Johnny’s perspective, Mike thought he figured it out, “People teased you a lot but it was mean, wasn’t it?”

Nodding, Johnny said nothing. Instead, he just pulled on his fingers, feeling awkward and stupid at not knowing yet another thing.

Turning his head towards him, Mike assured him softly, “Hey, it’s okay that you don’t know these things. Just ask someone, alright? I know a lot has changed for you and you’re doing better than a lot of people would. All of us are so proud of you.”

“Reallys?”

“Really,” Mike said firmly. “Now, how about we get going and let Jenny have some fun with Aunt Irene. I think if you’re good, I can get Aunt Jo to treat you to a special lunch somewhere.”

“Cool,” Johnny smiled. “Let go!”

“Alright,” Mike smiled at him and helped him into his chair as the three women got ready. “Everyone set?”

Getting nods, he led the way out of the DeSoto’s house.


	49. A Child's Words

As Roy and Chris neared home Friday morning, Roy stopped by to see if anyone was home. Finding out that Jo, Mike and Johnny would be leaving in another hour and a half, he offered to pick up something for lunch.

“Sure, that would be great!” Joanne was relieved. “This morning has been so hectic, I haven’t even had time to think about what to put together. And Jenny is heading out to go to the Scout meeting in an hour.”

Promising that he would take care of it, Roy and Chris showed up twenty minutes later with a few pizzas. Dropping them off on the kitchen table, Roy squatted down just in time to catch Jenny as she came flying towards him.

“Hey, daddy! Missed ya!” she beamed at him.

“I missed ya too,” he said, giving her an extra squeeze. “Thanks for helping out while we were gone.”

Shrugging, she peeked at the top pizza and made a face, “Veggie pizza?”

“For us adults,” he said laughing. “Why don’t you go help Chris bring in some stuff while I see how Johnny is doing, alright?”

“‘Kay,” she agreed happily.

“Hey, Mike,” Roy greeted as he turned to the living room. “How were things?”

“So, so,” Mike shrugged. “Therapy is going about how we expected-slow. It seems to frustrate him, but Johnny won’t tell us. One thing is, well, he seems to be having more nightmares.”

“Really?” Roy sighed. This was one thing all of his family and the crew had been hoping John could forget. “Any idea what about?”

“No,” Joanne overheard what they were talking about as she brought in the luggage. “He just wakes up and starts crying pretty hard. Honestly, it was Mike and Jenny who heard him the most. I only would here when he knocked things over.”

Sighing deeply, Roy ran his hands over his mouth, “Does Druthers know? And is this an every night thing or…?”

“Usually about once or twice when he is sleeping, doesn’t take him too long to fall asleep,” Mike reported. “But it does seem to be getting worse.”

“According to Doctor Druthers, it may be a good thing,” Jo said skeptically.

“Well,” Roy thought on it. “It can’t help him physically or mentally, but I guess, well, maybe it will help him heal emotionally.”

“That’s what Dr. D said,” Jenny told him. “That Johnny’s gotta deal with stuff he may not want to cause it will make him better. It’s kind of like a broken bone I guess.”

Smiling, Roy nodded, “Yep. Wanna go help me wake him up?”

“Yeah! I’m hungry,” Jenny said.

Creeping into the room softly, the father and daughter looked down to see Johnny sleeping peacefully.

“I hate waking him up when he is sleeping good,” confessed Jenny.

Surprised at that news, Roy wondered, “I thought mom would wake him up.”

“Nah, he seems to do better with me.”

Nodding, Roy gave her a gentle push to go ahead and wake him. Watching in awe, he saw his young daughter run her hands over Johnny’s forehead and gently speak to him, telling him to wake up. After a few minutes, Johnny began stirring slightly and Jenny sat down on the bed so she could rub his arm.

“Time to wake up, Johnny,” she told him. “Uncle Roy and Chris are home. They brought pizza for lunch.”

“Pizza?” John mumbled as he forced his eyes open.

“Yeah,” Jenny enthusiastically told him as she squeezed his hand. “It’s like a big, round flat bread. Then, it’s got sauce with spices on it. On top of that is cheese. After that, it is baked in an oven. Some have meat on them which are okay. Others have vegetables, which I think are gross, but we don’t have to eat that one.”

“Pizza,” Johnny stated, opening his eyes, confused.

“I’ll show you if you get up,” Jenny promised.

Thinking a moment, John nodded.

Standing up, Jenny traded places with her dad, who was smiling proudly at her. Shrugging in confusion, she let John know that Uncle Roy would be helping him up.

“I’m going to go help mom in the kitchen. I’ll see you there,” she assured him and left when he nodded.

Helping John stand up, then transfer to the chair, Roy saw it was a bit easier for Johnny to do so than it had been when he had left.

“Looks like you are getting stronger,” praised Roy.

“Little bit.”

“Considering where you were, that is a lot,” Roy pointed out. “You need to use the bathroom or are you ready for lunch?”

“Lunch, peas,” John said softly, a bit uncomfortable around Roy for some reason.

Sensing this, Roy figured it was due to being gone for almost a week and just chattered about the trip a bit.

“I’m sure Chris will have a lot more to tell you.”

Nodding as he was pushed into his spot at the table, Johnny breathed deeply at the smell coming from the cardboard boxes.

 _So, that is pizza in there? Smells good!_ he thought, eager to try some.

After a blessing was said, pieces were passed out and Roy cut up a piece for Johnny, he stuck one in his mouth using his hands. Unaware everyone was watching him, his first reaction was to wave his hand in front of his mouth.

“HOT!” he cried, sipping at his milk quickly. “Mmmm.”

Seeing the smile that replaced the small bit of pain, the three adults and two kids tried hard not to laugh.

“So, you like it huh?” Jenny asked, certain of what his answer would be.

“Yeah,” Johnny smiled, eating more. Soon, that piece and most of another was gone.

Sighing in contentment, John leaned back in his chair.

“Hey, gotta stay awake,” Joanne teased. “You got therapy yet today.”

The curl of his lip clearly demonstrated what he thought of that.

Looking towards Chris, Roy asked, “I was wondering what you wanted to do this afternoon. Did you want to spend some time with Uncle Mike or hang out with me some more?”

“No offense, but I think I’ll choose Uncle Mike,” Chris stuck his tongue out at his dad. “You can go with mom and Johnny.”

“You sure?” Roy pressed.

“I’m sure,” Chris smiled.

“Well, actually, since you guys are home earlier than I thought,” Joanne began tentatively. “Johnny, would it be alright if just Uncle Roy took you today?”

Blinking rapidly, John tried to figure out what just happened.

_Did someone actually ask me what I wanted? Why? And what was it again?_

Seeing the confusion, Jo asked again.

“Sure, guess…” Johnny said slowly, hoping that was the right answer, but braced himself just in case it wasn’t. When no slaps or pinches came his way, he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Alright, than, why don’t we get everything cleaned up,” Roy suggested. “By then, we should have just enough time to drop you girls off at the meeting and get John to Rampart.”

“Sounds good. While you’re gone, Chris and I will try to unpack stuff from your trip,” Mike offered. “I’ll start supper and then when you guys are back, I can head out.”

“Oh, no you don’t mister,” Jo stood with her hands on her hips. “You are staying until after supper, got it.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Mike smiled slightly, knowing better than to argue.

“It’s the least we can do for all you’ve done,” Roy told him. “We can’t tell you how much we appreciate it.”

“I’m just glad to help,” reminded Mike. Then turning to John who was just watching everyone, stated, “I know you’ve forgotten me as well, which I don’t blame you for, but I still think of you as part of my family. The whole 51 crew does. That’s why they’ve been coming to help this past week. It would be no different than if Jenny or Chris were hurt, or one of the crew. We’d do what we can to help.”

Unable to speak due to a lump in his throat, Johnny sniffed back his tears. Sensing his need, Jenny came around and gave him a hug.

“It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be you. You’re safe and loved,” she said softly.

With those words, Johnny held onto her as a few tears escaped him and the rest looked away as they tried to control their emotions. Who knew that such a young child could put into words what another person needed to hear so badly when adults, who supposedly had more wisdom and life experience, couldn’t?

Finally, Johnny released his friend and it seemed to unlock the others as they began cleaning up. Soon, Jenny, Johnny, Roy and Joanne were driving off while Mike and Chris began unloading the truck that had been used for the Scout trip.


	50. Turning Point?

Noticing how quiet it was when he was helping John into the house, Roy kept his curiosity to himself until Johnny was tucked into bed. The therapy sessions hadn’t gone well and besides frustrating him, had drained John of energy more than usual.

Sitting in his recliner, Roy asked, “Where’s Chris? I expected chaos when we got home.”

“I sent him off with one of his friends and his dad, Todd and Matt Brandson,” Mike confessed with a slight smile. “Kid was bouncing off the wall even after hauling in and putting away most of the camping gear. Todd said his son was the same way and thought he’d see if it’d be okay to take the kids to the park.”

“Yeah, I swear, I don’t know what it is, but if you put a kid in a car for more than a half-hour, especially with others, they gain energy.” Giving a small laugh, Roy smiled, “I don’t know if they feed off the energy of each other or somehow manage to sneak sugary snacks without our knowledge. I and the other leaders search ‘em, but it never fails that we miss a stash.”

“And you weren’t like that as a kid?” Mike raised his eyebrows, smirking at his friend.

“I pled the fifth,” Roy held up his hands, trying desperately not to break out in laughter or a smile. “So, anything that you two didn’t get put away or done?”

“Just the laundry. I learned the hard way already not to touch that.”

“Took me quite a few years to figure out Jo’s system and even now, she only trusts me so far with laundry,” Roy assured Mike. “That and cooking are mostly off limits to me. Any other household chores, she’s more than happy to get help.”

“I wonder if all women are that way,” Mike wondered.

“I don’t know…”

“All I know is that women are complex creatures,” stated Mike.

“Can I ask a personal question?” Roy shifted in his seat.

“Sure,” shrugging, Mike didn’t look fazed.

“In all the time I’ve known you, I haven’t seen you even get serious with anyone. I just wonder why, I mean, you’re good with all of the family stuff and what not,” Roy rambled. “I know Marco has a steady girlfriend now and Chet is happy being single, but it seems as if you aren’t.”

Sighing deeply, Mike paused a moment before answering, “Before coming to 51, I was ready to propose to someone. We started dating right after high school and she said she supported me joining the department. Got injured, not bad. Just a broken shoulder, leg and some smoke inhalation. My parents and sister came down to see me because of it. I guess she had been struggling to deal with my job, but then when I got injured, it just made things worse and on top of it, having a sister with autism really freaked her out.

“I mean really freaked her out,” Mike gave a sarcastic huff. “It got to be too much and right before I was discharged, she dumped me. Took me a bit to get over her, but eventually, I saw it was a good thing. I started getting serious with another girl right about the time I took the Engineer’s exam, but this time, I told her about my family. And well, let’s just say, she couldn’t handle it either. I imagine my job is bad enough, but knowing I might be responsible for my sister considering how she is, that has to be difficult. After that, dating kinda lost its appeal. It seemed pointless.”

“Man, sorry Mike,” Roy shook his head. “That just isn’t right.”

“It is what it is and I’m actually okay with it now,” Mike smiled at him. “I got a great family and a great life.”

Nodding, Roy was about to speak when they heard the cow bell crashing in Johnny’s room before a muffled cry rang out.

“Not again,” Mike mumbled as he and Roy raced to John’s room.

“Let me lead. Doctor Druthers gave me some hints about how we might be able to help,” Roy requested.

Stopping to let Roy go ahead, Mike watched as Roy cautiously approached the right side of the bed. Going to the left side, he watched as tears slowly made their way down Johnny’s face as he tossed sided to side. Hearing him mumbled, Mike looked toward Roy pleadingly.

“John!” Roy spoke loudly, trying to get his attention. When Johnny flinched, Roy winched, but continued on. “What are you say?”

Not hearing anything but the word sorry, Roy glanced worriedly at Mike.

“What are you sorry for?” he asked in a loud, command-like voice, praying the psychologist was right.

“No good breed, no died too, sorrys, sores ow, bad, not hit more pleas, bad know,” Johnny cried out. “Bad breed, bad me. Lock in box, no slap. Food bad, pig. Sorry, sorrys. Bad, bad.”

“Jeez, what the hell did they do to him,” Mike whispered under his breath.

“I have no idea,” Roy said, in shock himself.

Roy had seen John wake-up from nightmares before the accident, but would never speak of what they entailed. Now, the DeSoto’s and the Station 51 crew knew more about John’s past-about the ranch that took in strictly Native American children. They all knew that any punishment was harsh and physically abusive, but this sounded even crueler than what the doctors had found out about. Knowing the mental damage they must have inflicted raised the bar on the level of inhumanity of those running the place. How anyone could do this to a child, let alone more than one, in the name of saving them and raising them to be proper citizens was beyond Roy’s comprehension.

Sitting down on the bed carefully, unaware that Joanne, Jenny and Chris had returned in the last ten minutes he and Mike had been attempting to get answers, Roy tried to wake Johnny up. Shaking him, Roy jumped back as the response was the opposite of what he had hoped.

“No! Pleas!” Johnny almost whimpered at the touch, his mind back at the Ranch.

_Sitting on the floor, Johnny was still in shock from losing his parents. He had just seen his aunt go into the office and was hoping she would take him away from this place. Just being here for two days was enough for him to know that he wanted to leave and never return. Curling up, Johnny prayed that his aunt would return soon. Part of his prayers were answered. His aunt did come out of the office, but walked right past him, not even sparing him a glance. The director came out right after and ordered him to rise._

_“As of now until you are eighteen, you are now under our control. Your aunt does not want you,” he smirked. “You will obey what we say, no questions. Understand?”_

_Nodding, John reeled backwards when he was slapped in the face._

_“Speak when spoken to heathen,” barked the director._

_“Ye…yess,” Johnny gasped, fighting tears._

_“Yes, what?” the director asked, hand raised, poised to hit him again._

_“Yes, sir?” John questioned, unsure of what was expected._

_“Very well. Go to the barracks,” the director ordered._

_Confused, Johnny didn’t move._

_“The beds, you idiot!” he screamed, shoving the child. “It’s too bad you weren’t with your parents when they died. You are nothing but a drain on society and will never amount to anything anyway. Now go, out of my sight!”_

_Fleeing, Johnny let loose the tears that had been threatening for far too long. At least he still was allowed to keep a trunk of things from his former life, even if he couldn’t get to them until he was free of this place._

Seeing the tears running down Johnny’s face, Roy shook him again, worried that Dr. Druthers plan had gone wrong or he had messed it up, “Come on, you’re safe Johnny. It’s just us.”

Blinking his eyes, Johnny looked around in confusion.

 _Where am I? What happened?_ he thought, terrified that one of the shoves or hits had done damage. Finally, things came more into focus. _Oh, thank heavens. Not there._

“You with us, Junior?” Roy asked softly.

Scooting up on the bed with help, John nodded.

“Wanna talk about it?” Mike asked gently.

Uncertain at first, John hesitated, but finally told them how his own aunt walked out on him. His heart breaking, Roy gathered Johnny up and held onto to him once he was finished. Joanne slid next to them and encircled both of them in her arms. Uncertain what to do, but wanting to help, Chris and Jenny crawled up next to Jenny.

“Don’t worry about that place or your aunt,” Chris stated. “Mom and dad won’t let anything happen to you.”

Pushing away from Roy and Jo, Johnny looked over at Chris, his eyes searching for the truth in the words.

“You can trust Chris on that,” Mike spoke up. “I know them well and those two love you as if you were their own. They won’t let anything happen to you.”

“It’s true,” Joanne smiled at Johnny, rubbing his back softly.

“How know love me?” Johnny looked startled and settled back on the pillows.

“Well, how did you know your mom and dad loved you?” Jenny asked.

Shrugging, Johnny simply answered, “Just did.”

“Well, is it ‘cause they did things for you without asking? Put you ahead of them? Took care of you?” Chris questioned, trying to help him understand something that could be confusing.

“And wasn’t it something you just felt here,” Roy put his hand over Johnny’s heart. “And you weren’t sure why?”

Scrunching up his face, Johnny thought hard.

_They are right. Mom and dad thought of me and did what they could to make life good for me._

“I get it,” he said. “But why love me.”

“That comes from knowing you,” Joanne reminded him. “I know it is not a good answer, but that is all we have.”

“Least no lie,” John said.

“We don’t believe in lying,” Roy told him, leaving out the fact that if it would be beneficial for his health, they would. “We believe in the truth. If we can’t tell the truth, we’ll say we can’t answer.”

Yawning, Johnny nodded.

Giving him a hug, Joanne suggested he get some more rest.

“Dinner won’t be for another hour or so. We’ll get you up then,” she promised.

Nodding, John accepted the hugs from everyone else before allowing himself to sleep. Gathering in the living, Mike gave the DeSoto clan a few minutes to themselves as he put in a meatloaf for supper.

As he was coming back, he heard Jenny state, “I can’t believe how mean those people were. Who did they think they were?”

Sitting down, Mike wondered how Roy and Joanne would answer that. Seeing how the two looked at one another, he knew it was hard for them to decide.

“For some reason, the people who ran that place thought anyone who was Native American was a heathen, meaning someone who are without God or religion. They might have thought this because of the traditions and beliefs of the Indians. They thought it was their Christian duty,” Roy put air quotes around Christian duty and gave a look of disgust. “To educate them as much as possible. They thought it was hard to teach them and harsh measures were needed. It was sort of like the attitudes towards the African Americans. They aren’t the same as white people, so they are not equal and are less than them.”

“Well, that’s just stupid,” Chris said, clearly disgusted as much as the rest of them.

“I know,” Roy said sadly. “I’m just glad Johnny is learning to trust us.”

“Me, too,” Joanne added. “By the way, what is for dinner tonight?”

“Meatloaf,” Mike told her.

“Sounds good, hopefully Johnny will like it,” Roy smiled.

“Well, Uncle Johnny did eat anything you put in front of him, so I bet Johnny will be the same,” Chris said as Jenny nodded and giggled.

Proud and sadden that his kids were already separating the person Johnny was before the explosion and who he was now, Roy just gave a tight smile. Excusing himself, he headed up to his bedroom to hide in the bathroom so he could give in to his own tears that could no longer be held back.

 _It just isn’t fair!_ he raged inside _. Johnny doesn’t deserve to go through his past again. I just things were like before. I miss the old Johnny. I know we promised we’d take care of each other, but I never thought of something like this! It just isn’t fair! It be easier knowing if things were going to be like this forever or not. I just hope to God I am not screwing things up worse for Johnny. And I just hope to God my family and I are strong enough to get through this._

Wiping away the evidence of his breakdown, Roy went back downstairs and joined in the chatter going on, thankful no one said a word about how long he was gone or his redden eyes.


	51. Hope

Shortly after Mike left, Johnny headed to bed, still exhausted from his therapy and nightmares. Roy helped him get changed into his pajamas and was about to leave when he saw the uncertainty flash across John's face. Sighing deeply, he worried that once again, the burden would be on him to reassure Johnny, but he lucked out as Jo came in to say good night. Seeing the guilt, hopelessness, and exhaustion on her husband's face, she simply pushed him towards the chair. Sitting on the bed facing towards two of the three most important males in her life, she repeated what had been said so many times before-that nothing that was happening was either's fault and that it would take time to get used to things.

_I feel as though I can recite this speech in my sleep by now! Which right now, I feel as though I may be,_ Joanne thought sarcastically. _If something doesn't give soon, I honestly am not sure how Roy or I can make it through this. I know I dealt better with sleepless nights when Chris and Jenny were born than I am now and I have no idea why. I don't know if it's because we also have to deal with more than just that, or what. I truly believe though that I can now say I know how a hamster feels when running in their wheel, but at least that animal can get off the darn thing. I feel as though right now, every day is the same. Same worries, same concerns, same everything. I hate admitting this, but I can't wait until Jenny and I leave Tuesday. Even dealing with a dozen kids will be a welcomed break._

Leaving the room, Joanne and Roy headed towards the living room, almost collapsing on the couch. Although both Jenny and Chris saw the weariness, neither wanted to disturb their parents. They had talked earlier and both agreed that things were a lot harder than they expected it to be, but the two of them also didn't want to cause any problems or questions about whether this situation was a good idea.

"What's a matter?" asked Joanne, having caught the glances between her kids.

"Nothing," mumbled Chris.

"Yeah, nothing," Jenny added quickly.

Sitting up slightly, Roy raised his eyebrow at them, "We promised that the four of us would be honest and open about things. That is the only way this can possible work. Now, spill."

Sighing, Jenny looked towards her brother, not wanting to be the one to admit to what they had talked about it. Chris just looked down at his lap, uncomfortable with the silence, but unsure what to say.

"Well, I guess, it's just harder than we thought it might be," Jenny slowly spoke. "Don't get me wrong, Chris and I are still wanting and willing to do whatever it takes to help Johnny, but…"

"You just didn't know how much you would learn about him and some of the stuff is scary, while some stuff is pretty shocking?" Jo said quietly.

Shaking their heads, the kids agreed.

"I just didn't realize how much Johnny went through as a kid," Chris admitted. "It makes me so mad, and frustrated. It's bad enough he's gotta deal with all the other stuff, but to have to more or less relive that time in his life just seems, I don't know."

He shrugged and struggled to find the right way to express his thoughts. "I guess to me, it seems as if fate is being extra cruel to him. I wish there was a way we could help him more. Jenny and I also see how much this is getting to you guys and well, we're not sure what to do there either."

Looking at their kids, Roy and Joanne moved over next to them and gathered them into their arms.

"You two are right," Roy admitted. "I know I am struggling to deal with how different things are now. It's hard to see someone you love and care about so much struggling with things they could do without thinking about. Then, hearing all the experiences John's gone through, well, it hurts, you know?"

"I've been feeling frustrated myself, since there isn't much we can do it seems. All the days seem to run together and we keep doing the same things over and over," Joanne confessed. "It's enough to make anyone angry. I honestly don't know how you two are holding it together so well."

"Well," Jenny shrugged. "You and dad taught us to take things day by day, or hour by hour, even minute by minute if we had to. That's just what me and Chris are doing."

"That and talking to people," Chris piped in. "We're mostly sad I think, 'cause we can't change anything. But it's like you two told us, if something is important, fight for it. That's what we're doing."

"And Doctor Druthers is showing us what we can do so we're not always thinking about stuff. You two make sure we get out of here almost every day and keep up what we normally do. It helps a lot. We just wish that there was more we could do to help and that there was something that could be done so you could have more time away," Jenny finished.

"I know you think you two aren't doing much," Jo said softly, fighting back tears as her heart broke for Chris and Jenny. Somehow, her two babies had grown-up without her knowing and had wisdom that even they as adults were struggling to find. Maybe it was just the fact things were simpler for them, who knows?

"But you are and it's not just helping out with more of the household chores. It's by the way you two are talking to each other, talking to me and dad. It's the way you're taking care of one another and Johnny. You both are being so patient, more willing to be flexible in how things are done and have given things up. Just by allowing the 51 crew to take you guys places allows us so much more time to help Johnny and give us a break, even if it is just for a few minutes."

"I really can't tell you how proud of you we both are," Roy added while his voice broke. "I know you never asked or expected this, but how you two are dealing with it is amazing. Even Doctor Druthers and Brackett are impressed."

Blushing, Chris tried to deny doing anything special, as did Jenny, but neither of their parents would hear of it. Knowing how their parents felt and that what they did do was helping was a relief for Jenny, as well as Chris. Giving their mom and dad one last hug, both turned in early and were soon asleep. Not long after, Roy and Joanne followed the example and after checking on all three of the kids, went to bed themselves. Relief spread throughout their bodies at the knowledge that despite the turmoil going on, Chris and Jenny were doing quite well. For once, all those under the DeSoto's roof slept peacefully throughout the night.

Everyone, with the exception of Johnny, finally woke up on Saturday morning at eight in the morning. After checking on Johnny and seeing he was still sleeping well, Roy decided that to let him sleep. Although the family did their best they could to keep the noise down, a half-hour later, the cow bell sounded from John's room.

Grinning as he got up from the table, Roy said, "Excuse me a moment, seems the youngest has awoken and is demanding attention."

That sent all three of the others into giggles and Joanne had to roll her eyes. Getting up, she added more bacon to the pan and got the pancakes going so Johnny could eat as soon as he came in. A pro at timing, she was just finishing up the meal as Johnny came in slowly. Assessing him, Joanne sensed something was different. Thinking about it, she shrugged mentally.

 _Maybe it was just the effects of a good night's rest for once. Goodness knows it has helped the mood of everyone else in here,_ she reflected.

Serving him his breakfast with a cheerful good morning, all four DeSoto's were a bit taken when he responded in kind. It took a few seconds and was said hesitantly, but still, it was said. Usually, all they received was a very shy hi or a nod with a blush. As they continued eating, each person tried not to look, but couldn't help but glance as Johnny slowly, but surely at his breakfast without prompts. When given his medications, his face fell, but again, he took them without question. Finding this unusual, Chris and Jenny looked to their dad for answers.

Shrugging his shoulders with his eyes going wide, Roy indicated that he had no idea why Johnny was suddenly fine with accepting the food. There could be a host of reasons why; it could just be a temporary complacency, it could be the anti-depressants were working better, it could be he was just too hungry to care. Deciding that there was too many possibilities and combinations of possibilities, Roy felt it would be best just to observe Johnny casual. That way, if something was changing medically, than hopefully he'd be able to see it and either convince John to go to Rampart or Doctor Early to stop by.

"I was thinking about having a family game day," Roy said as casually as possible, glancing at Joanne.

Seeing Roy's head tilt towards Johnny, she jumped in, "I think that's a great idea. What do you kids think?"

Chris nodded, his mouth too stuffed full of pancakes to answer.

"Can we work on a puzzle instead?" Jenny pleaded.

"As long as that's okay with everyone, I don't see why not," Jo assured her, knowing her daughter was likely thinking it would be good therapy for Johnny.

"Sure, I think it'll be good," Chris answered. "What do you think, Johnny?"

"I…I…" Johnny looked down, then took a deep breathe. Seeing everyone look at him with smiles, he gathered his courage and answered, "Okay."

Rubbing his arm, Jenny whispered, "Good job, I'm proud of you for telling us what you want."

"Real?"

"Yes," Jenny simply said. "And you did good on breakfast, right mom?"

"Yes, he did," she answered, trying to hide her smile.

"No more. Too more," he whispered.

"Too much?" Roy asked, then when he saw the nod, continued. "It's okay, Aunt Jo tends to make a lot. If you get hungry later, just let us know."

"'K."

"Alright, while dad helps Johnny wash up, can you two kids help me out with clean-up in here? We need the table cleaned if we want to do the puzzle," Joanne asked.

At that, everyone went off to do as requested and met back at the table later with a 500 piece puzzle.

"Wow," Johnny breathed in amazement. "Big! Like it."

"Yeah, but don't worry kiddo, we'll help you out, alright?" Roy told him.

Nodding, Johnny sat in between two favorite people: Jenny and Uncle Roy. As promised, everyone worked together teaching him how to put a puzzle together. Often, they would hand a piece to him and point out where it would need to be placed but not in which direction. Although it would be frustrating at times, as he did each piece, Johnny grew more confident with his ability. He was also laughing, smiling, and talking more as well. An hour quickly passed and soon almost two hours came to pass. Johnny began yawning and despite the desire to order him to nap, Joanne and Roy waited to see if John would admit to needing one.

"Tired, nap please?" he finally asked, after twenty minutes since he first yawned.

"Sure, no problem, we need a break anyway," Roy said, stretching as he got up. "Need a drink or bathroom break before you go to lay down?"

"Both, plea," requested Johnny.

Once that was taken care of, Roy helped transfer John transfer into bed and tucked him in.

"Someone will wake you up for lunch," he promised, watching as John's eyes closed against his will. "Have a good rest."

Making his way back to the kitchen, he found his other family members having cookies and milk. Grabbing some himself, he sat down.

"He seems happier," Jenny spoke out loud to no one in particular.

"Yeah, it was nice," Jo said. "Hopefully, it will continue."

Both Chris and Roy shook their heads in agreement. It seemed that Johnny was somehow more content and trusted the DeSoto's more today than he had since the accident. They could only pray that it would continue and grow as well.


	52. Progress Check Up

Monday morning finally arrived and with it, an appointment with Doctor Early at 9:30 am. Worried about how Johnny would react given all that would be done, both Roy and Joanne were going in with him.

"Alright, everyone knows what is happening today?" Roy asked, noticing the slightly frazzled look in his wife's eyes.

"Yes, dad," Chris and Jenny sighed out.

"Aunt Irene's going to be coming over soon with Mama Lopez. Aunt Irene will be taking me shopping for the stuff you and I need for the Girl Scouts camping trip tomorrow," Jenny piped up after seeing the look she got from her dad. "Hopefully, I can get my stuff ready to go."

Knowing both his parents were not just worried about Johnny, but them, Chris added, "Mama Lopez is going to stay here until lunch. Then, she'll take me over to Brad's house where I'll stay until you three pick me up. If I need to come home early, I call here to see if anyone is home. If not, call Mrs. Kelly. If she isn't there, call the station or the hospital."

John sat there with his mouth opened, looking stunned.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Jo asked.

"Lots of plans," he said softly. "Why?"

"You need to see Doctor Early today," Joanne reminded him. Seeing the surprised look on his face, she smiled gently at him. "It's okay if you forgot. You were pretty tired when we told you."

"What going happen?" Johnny asked, fear emulating from his voice.

Rubbing his arm, Jo looked towards Roy.

"Well, most of it should not hurt. The doctor might need to take some blood, but the nurses are good at it."

"No!" Johnny whimpered and withdrew into the back of his chair as much as possible.

"I know you don't like needles," Roy continued. "But it helps the doctor know how you are doing."

"Please, I be good, no needles," pleaded Johnny.

"Why are you scared of them?" wondered Jenny.

Shaking his head, he didn't answer.

"Honey, you can tell us. We won't laugh at you," Jo promised, walking around to gather him in her arms.

"Needle got put in arm, stayed there. Dad use knife to get. Hurt bad," Johnny admitted after a few minutes of silence.

"Stabbed arm here," he pointed to his inner elbow. "Dug to get blood. Almost as bad."

Small gasps broke the silence. Each of the four DeSoto's looked at one another, unsure what to say and feeling helpless. As the one with the most medical experience, Roy felt compelled to say something.

"Johnny," hearing the break in his voice, he cleared his throat and tried again. "Johnny, that never, **EVER** , should have been done to you. Doctors and nurses make a promise that says they will not hurt a person. What they did broke that promise. They were wrong."

"Even if I half?" Johnny looked up with his lip trembling and tears filling his eyes.

"Even if," Roy promised, wiping away the few tears that had spilled. "But let me remind you, no one you have meet sees you as half of anything. We just see you. Okay?"

Nodding, John swiped up at his eyes and then jumped as the doorbell rang.

"Guess that would be either Mama Lopez or Irene," Roy said. "I'll be right back."

After answering the door, he led the way back into the kitchen.

"I was wrong, it was both of them," he announced as the two women entered.

Looking at the clock, Joanne quickly stood up.

"Kids, we got to get this mess cleaned up, your dad and I need to leave in less than twenty minutes!"

"Jo, just go finish getting ready. Roy, you help Johnny and then get yourself ready. We'll take over here," Irene decided. "I'm sure between the four of us, we can get things cleaned up, no problem."

"Yeah, we can handle it," Chris said adamantly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now scoot," Irene command.

"Sí, we have it all under control," Mama Lopez said.

"Alright, thank you," Jo said gratefully as she turned and went to get ready.

Jo was even more grateful when things took even longer than expected and the three of them ended up leaving a couple minutes later for Rampart than expected. Sighing as she sat back while Roy drove, Joanne prayed the two of them could get Johnny through the day peacefully. Closing her eyes, she rested on the way.

"We're here," Roy told her softly. "I'm going to pull up by the Emergency entrance and help you out, Johnny. Then, you and Aunt Jo can either wait outside while I park or go on in."

"Outside," Johnny told them as he was settled in his chair.

Nodding, Roy parked in the closest spot. Thankfully, it had taken less than five minutes total this day to find a spot and return. By the look of fear bordering on terror on Johnny's face, if it had taken any longer to park, he and Joanne may have been sent on a chase.

 _Lord knows that despite the injuries, if Johnny doesn't want to do something, somehow he'll find a way to delay the inevitable,_ Roy smiled to himself at that thought. _At least some things haven't seemed to change._

Grabbing the wheelchair handles, Roy spun Johnny around and led the way into the ER. As discussed beforehand, instead of going up to the desk, the three of them went into Doctor Brackett's office where Dixie was waiting.

"Got stuck in traffic?" she teased, knowing that Roy was normally wasn't even a few minutes late.

"Sure, we'll go with that one," Roy smiled back.

Chuckling, Joanne shook her head.

"I take it the traffic wasn't on the road?" Dixie looked towards Jo this time.

"You could say that. It seems with three kids and four adults all running around, well…I think it was more like bumper cars," Jo admitted.

Wincing a bit, Dixie couldn't help but smile.

"And how are you doing, Johnny?"

"Okay," he said softly.

"I'm glad you're able to do more on your own," she told him, hoping to get him to open up. This new version of Johnny was still unsettling to her and it left her a bit rattled.

"Our family got a puzzle done this weekend," Jo offered. "Johnny helped out where he could and did really well."

"That's great! Did you have fun?" Dixie asked as Joe Early came in.

"Yeah, new to me," John told her. "Was old fireman."

"What was new?" Joe wondered.

"Doing a puzzle," Roy said. "It was a puzzle my mom gave me that shows a scene of when firefighters started using steam engines to fight fires."

"Ahh," Dr. Early said, happy to see a smile on Johnny's face. "Well, should we get started? I have a room set up away from the normal rooms in the Emergency department so it'll be a lot quieter."

Seeing the panic start to come over John, Doctor Early kneeled down in front of him.

"Johnny, I want you to listen to me," he said gently, resting his hand next to John's. "I know that this is scary. I will tell you everything we are going to do before we do so you know what is going to happen. Nurse Dixie will need to draw some blood, but we both promise that we will be as gentle as possible. Remember when you were here?"

Thinking on it, Johnny nodded slowly, "Little bit."

"Do you remember how we tried not to hurt you?"

"Think so."

"Well, we still don't want to hurt you," Doctor Early told him. "If something hurts, you tell us. We want to make you feel better, not worse, okay?"

"Okay," Johnny sighed.

"Would you like Uncle Roy and Aunt Jo with you, honey?" Dixie asked.

"Yes, peas," he looked up at her with his big brown eyes.

 _Darn those eyes! They get to you every time_ , she thought.

"I'll tell you what, after all this is over, if it's okay with your aunt and uncle, I'll get you a special treat after lunch," Dixie promised.

"Real?"

"It's okay with us," Roy said. "So just think about having a cookie, or maybe an ice cream or cake."

Nodding as they headed to the private exam room, the adults smiled at one another.

"Alright, young man, here we are," Doctor Early announced. "I'm going to set up this screen and I'd like you to change into the gown. You can leave your boxers on."

"Uncle Roy, help?"

"Yep, no problem," Roy assured him and within a few minutes, called everyone else back.

Doctor Early had thought long and hard about how to complete the exam. Figuring it would be easiest to start off slow, he started by having Dixie get his vitals. He then explained as he went why he was doing a basic physical exam and what each step was; with each step completed, John seemed to relax more.

"I will need to get your weight, so I'll need you to stand on the scale over there," Doctor Early apologized. "It tells me if you are eating enough food."

"I eat!" John huffed as Dixie and Roy helped him move along with his walker before stepping on the stairs.

"He actually is eating better," Jo defended him. "Since at least Saturday, we haven't had to tell him to eat. Johnny just goes slow and steady until his stomach says it is full. He has snacks maybe twice a day as well."

"It's true doc," Roy added as he more or less lifted Johnny back on the exam table. "I have to say we're pretty proud of how he is doing. John's even asked for snacks a couple times."

"I believe you," Joe smiled at the defensiveness coming from them. It meant that Johnny was in a good place with the right people. "Plus, he is not too far off from where he should be weight-wise. If you keep this up Johnny, I think you'll be right where you should be in two or three weeks."

"Long time!" Johnny stared at him.

"I know, but that's okay. You have the time," he said kindly. "Now, that knock we heard a couple minutes ago was to let us know the x-ray machine is here. This will be easy. All you'll need to do is let the person put these plates under parts of your body. Then hold still while your picture is taken. Then, when the pictures come back, we can see inside your body."

Johnny looked towards Roy as if searching for the truth.

"Doctor Early isn't lying. You just need to listen to the person taking the pictures and be still," Roy assured him.

"Cool," Johnny smiled.

"Yes, it is," Dixie smiled back. "We do have to leave, but we'll be right outside waiting, alright?"

"Okay!" Johnny eagerly said.

Laughing, Joanne shook her head, "I guess we should go, we'll see you in a few minutes."

Giving him a hug, she left behind Roy while Dixie and Joe stayed to give Malcom, the person enlisted for taking the x-rays, instructions. Fifteen minutes later, Malcom came out, smile and nodded to the group.

"So how was that?" Roy queried Johnny.

"Boring," came a voice dripping with disappointment.

"Yeah, they can be. What we need to do next is not going to be any fun either," Doctor Early warned him. "I can promise though it shouldn't hurt. Maybe itch a bit."

Glaring at the doctor, Johnny wondered what was next. Watching as a machine with a lot of lines coming from it was wheeled over, he really wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"This is called an EEG machine. We'll place these sticky pads here," Joe held up one to show John. "And we put it on your head. Then, we turn the switch on and we can see how your brain is working."

Staring at him skeptically, Johnny was thinking, _No way is that true! People can't know that. Hard enough to believe the bone thing, but now this? Maybe I shouldn't have started trusting Aunt Jo and Uncle Roy. But why am I here? What do they want?_

Figuring it was best to keep silent, Johnny shook his head no when Dixie asked if he had any questions. Although she didn't believe him, there wasn't much she could do, so instead, she helped unwrap the dressing on Johnny's head.

"After this is done Dixie, remind me to check on the stitches here. We'll just put some bandages on and leave the wrap off," Doctor Early decided as he started hooking up the machine. "This should take about twenty minutes, which I know is a long time, so if you'd like to close your eyes and rest, feel free. We just don't want you to talk or move too much so we get a good reading."

"Okay," whispered Johnny, scared to speak since so many of the wires were on.

"It's okay kiddo," Dixie told him, rubbing his back softly. "We haven't turn on the machine yet. I promise it won't hurt a bit."

"Alright, we're all set. While this is going, I am going to go get your x-rays and see how you look inside. Dixie will stay here with you three and I'll be back soon," Joe said before leaving.

Sighing to himself, John tried his best not to fidget while that machine was running. He was actually relieved when Dr. Early came back and turned it off because then he could finally move. All four of the adults chuckled as Johnny squirmed the second he was told he could move. Truth be told, none of them knew he could sit still that long while being awake.

"We need to get some blood work done, so Nurse Dixie is just going to take some blood. After that, you guys can take a break for lunch and then, come back here after. I should have all the results."

Hearing Johnny whimper slightly, Joanne came to the side Dixie wasn't on and gave him a half-hug.

"Look at me, not at her. Squeeze my hand," she coached, keeping her eyes directed at him while still monitoring Dixie's progress. "Okay, you'll feel a squeeze around your arm, and a quick pinch."

"Owww!" Johnny cry out.

"Shhh, it's okay, she's almost done," Jo soothed, rubbing his arm. "There, she's all done. Was that as bad as you thought?"

"No, still no like," he stated grumpily.

"I don't blame you there," Dixie said. "You did so good today, you definitely get that treat I promised you."

"Real?"

"Really," she promised. "Now, let's head down to get something to eat. I've been hearing your stomach growling for the last ten minutes at least!"

"Opps?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"That's a good thing," Roy told him, shaking his head as he got Johnny into the wheelchair.

Once done with lunch, where Johnny picked out the biggest cookie he could find, Dixie announced she was going to take Johnny on a walk with her so they didn't have to listen to boring talk from Doctor Early.

"Thanks, Dix," Roy said. "And I know what you'll do, so just one more cookie. If you get him hyped up on sugar and he doesn't wear it off in his therapy sessions, you'll be coming home with us."

"Now, Roy, would I do a thing like that?" Dix asked, hands on her hips and a grin fighting to escape.

"Yes!" Jo said.

Leaning down to give Johnny a hug, she whispered, "I know she's getting you another cookie. It's okay, just say thank you."

Seeing how he lit up at the idea of another treat made Dixie and Jo smile, while Roy just shook his head. Dragging her husband, Joanne ignore his mumblings that Dixie spoiled all their kids rotten.

"So do all the guys at the station," she pointed out. "I've given up by now. Why haven't you?"

"Not sure," Roy admitted. "Makes you think about the saying about beating your head against a brick wall though."

Laughing, the two turned towards the ER, hoping that Joe would be awaiting with good news.


	53. Plans

Opening Doctor Brackett’s office, Joanne and Roy were taken back to see not only Joe, but also Davis Cook, Scarlett Palmer, and Karl Druthers. Dreading bad news, they glanced at one another and saw the same fear emanating from the other’s eyes. Sitting down, each braced themselves for the news.

“I know you weren’t expecting all of us,” Doctor Early apologized. “It’s just that all of us thought it might be best to get together and update the treatment plan for Johnny as it were.”

“So, things are going fine?” Roy cautiously asked, holding his breath.

Smiling, Joe nodded, “Very well considering. The tests I ran show that the swelling is almost completely gone. Honestly, I didn’t expect the swelling to be so minimal at this point in time. In fact, I think that we can slowly reduce the preventive medications over the next week. As long as no new symptoms occur or old problems pop-up, Johnny should do well without it.

“As far as the bruising goes,” here the doctor pushed up his glasses and consulted his notes. “The images are still showing what I’d expect to see. They are healing though, which is the main thing.”

“Any idea how much longer it might be before they are completely healed?” Roy queried.

“You know I can’t answer that with any certainty,” pausing, Joe thought about what he knew about his patient. “However, I still feel that with how fast Johnny has healed in the past, as well as how the contusions looked compared to recently…Well, I’m hoping that in another two months or so they should be completely gone.”

Sighing, Joanne closed her eyes.

_Two more months, at least! Lord, how will we get through this? The uncertainty, the pain?_

Sympathetic, Joe tried to smile, “At least he is healing. And as things get better, we will be able to continue helping John with whatever may come up, as well as your family.”

“In fact,” Doctor Druthers said. “I feel that with how well things are going, Johnny is more than ready to start participating more activities outside your home.”

“He is certainly further along with his physical therapy, as well as occupational therapy,” Davis added in, while Scarlett nodded her agreement.

“It may be the small things at first, such as going to a park or the grocery store, but we honestly feel that it is time for him to get out more,” Druthers smiled reassuringly at the DeSoto’s.

“John will still need his wheelchair for longer trips, but he is ready to start using his walker more. It may take a bit for his strength to return and for him to be able to walk through the store, but I do believe he is ready.”

Scarlett took over for Davis and confirmed this, “With what Doctor Early said, now is the time to start pushing a bit more. No one will know how much Johnny can do until then.”

Looking at one another, Roy and Jo communicated silently.

“Okay,” Roy breathed out finally. “Just tell us what we can do.”

“Right now, we start out slow, since he isn’t used to being a large city, especially since technology has changed so much since he was a child,” Dr. Druthers cautioned. “One of the items we discuss a lot and Johnny has trouble with is grasping the difference between life today and then.”

“We’ve noticed that,” Jo admitted.

Roy was a bit shocked, he realized that there were a few challenges they had to overcome regarding that, but by the look on Joanne’s face, it seemed he may have missed a lot. Thinking back, Roy began to remember the first few days Johnny was home with them.

 _We had to more or less beg him to eat. I’d wheel him to the table and man! His expression was like that of a kid in a candy store who was told they could have it all; as if he couldn’t believe all the food on the table._ Recalling more, Roy got lost in the memories. _I sat down next to him, spooned some food on his plate. Not a lot, just in case he didn’t like it. Johnny just sat there, not moving. I could plainly see he was hungry, but it was almost as if he was…I don’t know, scared? No, that can’t be right can it? To eat. But, then after encouraging him, he inhaled it like he was starving or afraid it’d disappear. He seemed terrified when I asked if he wanted more…_

The more Roy thought of those early days, the more he realized just how much he didn’t see. From how Johnny would flinch at loud noises from cars passing by, to not speaking much expect to Jenny or on a good day, Chris. Even at the hospital, having certain foods were a novel concept. Shaking off the racing thoughts, he came back into the conversation.

“I just didn’t realize how much it was an issue,” Roy acknowledged, guilt lacing his words.

“You also had a lot of other things to deal with,” Joe pointed out.

Karl faced Roy head on, “And you **_have_** been dealing, quite well I might add, with the other major issue Johnny has dealt with. All the consequences he faces dealing with the actions of what happened after his parents died. That is huge. Even though I haven’t met with him today, Joe had to share the news that Johnny finally got involved in family activities. I honestly doubt that if it wasn’t for you and your family, Johnny wouldn’t be coping as well emotionally with this situation.”

Sighing, Roy nodded, “I guess I realize that here,” he pointed to his head, then pointed to his heart. “But in here, it’s still hard.”

“That’s because you care about him, honey,” Joanne softly said.

Glancing at the clock, Roy cleared his throat, “I promised Johnny we won’t be gone long, so maybe we should talk about what is going to happen next?”

Realizing his need to break away from the subject, everyone gathered their own personal notes.

“Well, on my end, it’s more or less what we decided when John left the hospital,” Doctor Early began. “We just do a CT Scan every few weeks. Once the bruises are gone, we will likely do another three weeks down the line, then four weeks. We will have you guys bring Johnny in for a check-up every three weeks, although I do want to see him after he is off the medications for a day. I’ll give you notes on how to slowly reduce the meds and what to look for.”

Nodding, Roy and Joanne noted this down on the notebook they had brought along.

Doctor Druthers smiled, and shrugged, “I honestly believe your family is doing fine. We’ll keep seeing the kids twice a week or less often if they wish. Same with you. I’d still like to meet with Johnny whenever he comes in for his therapy, even if the sessions are short or during the therapy.”

“For me, I want to work on having him go out in the real world,” Scarlett said, then seeing the confusion, explained further. “I’ll go with you and your family to the park, just to kind of see how John does. By seeing him outside the constraints of the rehabilitation area, it will give me a better idea how I can help him. We can also work on him learning to do some simple chores that all kids do, like put away their clothes. Anything else would depend on how well he does and if he is able to do more.”

“I will be going with you, but most of the work will still be done here. In about another week or so, I honestly don’t believe Johnny will need me anymore as he knows how to transfer to his wheelchair and use the walker. Scarlett can work with him if, or when, he can use something other than those,” Davis reported.

Horrified by the fact it seemed the group working with Johnny was giving up, Roy closed his eyes. A white hot ball of energy was tightening in his stomach. Desperately, he tried to contain it.

“You sound like you all are giving up on him! As if won’t get any better!” Roy spat out in between clenched teeth. “Even Early said the bruises are still healing! Until then, how on earth do you know that this is all that John is capable?”

Joanne was shocked at the anger emanating from her husband. On one hand, she wanted to restrain him, but the larger part of her was cheering him on. Huffing, she folded her arms across her chest in anger and glared at each person.

Hastily, Joe and Karl went to correct Roy and Jo.

“Look, we are not giving up on him. Far from it,” Druthers assured them both. “What we have to do is realize what Johnny is capable of right now. Once Johnny shows that he is capable emotionally and physically of doing more, we all will try to see what more he can accomplish. On the other hand, we do have to be realistic. This is a serious injury and full recovery may or may not be possible. If we prepare for the worst now and accept what is, whatever may come next will be easier to deal with.”

Sighing, Roy unclenched his fist, still upset.

Joe came over and laid his hand on his shoulder, “I understand this is beyond difficult. If I could, I’d do anything to fix it, but I can’t. I want the old John back as well, but we just have to be patient.”

“I know,” Roy said, his heart heavy. “I’m sorry, it’s just, this really sucks, you know?”

“I know,” Joe said, watching as Joanne laid her head on her husband’s shoulder.

Sighing again, Roy stood up and held the door open for Jo.

“Guess we’ll see you soon,” he said dejectedly.

Nodding, Joe waited until he was out the door and then turned to Karl.

“He is actually doing fairly well, Joe,” Karl assured him. “The family all has their moments, which is to be expected, but they are doing well. Better than I ever expected.”

Nodding, Joe turned to look out the office door, a troubled expression on his face.


	54. Frustrations and Hope

Even though Johnny did well off the medication and was finally released from physical therapy, it seemed as though life had been put on pause for the DeSoto family. It was now the beginning of June, about two months after the accident that had changed all their lives. John still struggled with his balance, which wasn't helped by the shaking induced by the myoclonic seizures.

The one positive sign that could be seen was his nightmares were getting fewer and farther between as Johnny became more comfortable with the DeSoto family and the Station 51 A Shift crew, along with their family members. However, it seemed that although Johnny wasn't aware that the face in the mirror reflected someone different from who he believed he thought he appeared to be. John also fought against going out in public and each attempt to take him somewhere would often lead to tears, as well as frustration for everyone involved. The once vivacious, fun-loving, 'grab onto life with both hands' person had disappeared and had been replaced by someone scared of those unfamiliar to him, especially in places he couldn't hide out. It seemed that no matter how often Scarlett tried to work with him on getting him outside, John's anxiety level rose too high each time. Even Doctor Duncan wasn't sure what to do since Johnny felt as though something was off with himself and people were staring. It didn't matter how often or in what ways the accident and the changes were explained to Johnny, he just couldn't seem to grasp why it should matter.

"What are we going to do?" Joanne whispered harshly to Roy one morning. "We can't keep going at this rate! I love Johnny to death, but how is our other family supposed to function considering we have to plan everything around Johnny and how he might react?"

"I know, I know!" Roy ran his hands through his hair, pacing. "I'm just as frustrated as you are, especially now that we aren't getting as much help as we did. I just don't know what to do either. If I could, I'd help out more, but…"

"You have work, I know," Joanne sighed.

Hugging one another, both sent prayers that someone would find something soon to make Johnny more comfortable out in the world again. After another disheartening two weeks, Dixie showed up with Scarlett one morning.

"Hey, Dixie, I didn't know you were going to come with us today," Jo greeted her.

Shrugging as she and Scarlett sat down, Dixie admitted it was short notice, "I actually invited myself along. I've been searching for ways to help you guys out with the issues Johnny has being out in the world. I came across a group and I think it might actually be good for him."

Curious, Joanne's eyebrows raised up, "Let me just go get Roy, he's working in the den. Coffee's fresh in the kitchen so help yourselves."

Returning with Roy in tow, both Jo and Roy saw Dixie had gotten coffee for all of them. Knowing it meant this could be a long session, Roy called in Jenny.

"Honey, do you think you could go play a game or read a book with Johnny for a bit?" he asked.

"Sure," she shrugged.

With that out of the way, Roy turned to the two women and glanced towards Dixie.

"So, what did you figure out?"

"Well, actually Kel pointed out that there is an organization called NAHMI," Dixie admitted shamelessly. "It hasn't been around long, just since 1979, but from what we uncovered, even though they are small and are mostly made up of volunteers right now, I thought they might have something which could help you and/or Johnny out. It turns out, one of their more successful ideas is gathering groups of individuals with different special needs and doing activities in the communities."

Her interest peaked, Joanne questioned, "What sorts of things?"

"Well, from what I found out, it tends to vary with the group. It seems that if there are enough people to split into more than one group, then the group is divided into similar abilities as they call it. The volunteers ask the people what they want to do, what they'd like to learn, find special events in the area, figure out fun trips to take the adults on. I guess last month, one group was able to tour a bowling alley and then bowl before going out for pizza. They were even able to help make their own pizzas."

Surprise and a smile lit up Joanne's face at the thought. Roy, however, frowned.

"But what if it gets to be too much for one of them and they need to leave in the middle? Or can't go? What about the cost?" he fired off.

Dixie held up her hand, "I asked about that as well. The group will hold bake sales, craft sales, and also sell hot dogs, hamburgers, and sodas. Sometimes it's just a small sale like a barbecue sale, or craft sale, but sometimes, it a combination. That is where the volunteer part comes in. A lot of stores actually will help with the barbecue sales by donating the meat and buns, along with the soda, or reducing the cost. The adults who can help out and are supervised by others. The items in craft and bake sales are done by whoever is able. Also, a lot of the time, when places realize this is a special needs group, they often open their door at a large discount rate or charge nothing. It's really quite amazing.

"If there is an activity someone doesn't want to participate in, they don't have to go. You get a schedule of events for the month and sign up for what you'd like to; they understand if at times you miss a day without notice, but if you miss too often, they will not allow you to continue in the group," Dixie read off her notes. "It doesn't matter if the person goes, but ends up not able to finish. There are always extra staff and an extra vehicle or two in case that happens."

Impressed, Roy sat back, "It seems they thought of everything."

"I couldn't believe it either," confessed Scarlett. "I honestly think this could help Johnny. He'd be around people his age, some younger, some older, but all with various issues. I think it would help him feel less self-conscious and since it seems the places tend to allow the group to come in during non-business hours or are more flexible, it seems perfect."

"In addition to that," Dixie added. "They will take them to places and teach them some life skills they need, such as going to the grocery store. That was a field trip one group had a few months ago. The manager showed them around and how to pick out food to make something simple for dinner. His son is ten and has Down syndrome, so he is always welcoming these groups there."

"I guess the only thing left to do is see if Johnny would enjoy this, or at least be willing to give it a shot," Joanne smiled brightly for the first time in a long time as she felt there might be hope.

* * *

**AN: I based the group and the activities on what occurred when I was in a special needs group designed to get me out and about. We played softball, got to go to EAA museum and fly in a plane, hold sales to raise funds for our activities, etc.**

**To learn more about NAMI, visit there site. Just search for NAMI!**


	55. Recovery Verdict

To everyone's relief, Johnny did agree to give the NAMI group a try. To his surprise, and everyone's relief, he loved going. Although the group met once a week, the DeSoto's made sure Johnny would go each time. Slowly, John was learning that although he may be different, he wasn't the only one with issues. He was also learning more and more about the outside world and how to cope not only with the people in it, but all the stimulation that he never remember experiencing before.

Scarlett soon found herself meeting with Johnny less and less until her sessions ended. It turned out that the NAMI group was helping John learn how to cope with the world better than she had as the special needs adults were a great support system and could tell him what might work. She felt that until things changed, Johnny would be fine without her. Already, three and a half months after the accident, he was able to do the chores required of him, such as setting the table, cleaning his room, and dusting.

Both Roy and Joanne were a lot happier and calmer now that Johnny finally seemed settled in. Doctor Early noticed that each time the group came in, things emotionally were more stable and he was forced to change his opinion that something was going to break. The only thing that worried him was how slowly the bruising was healing inside of Johnny's skull. Calling a meeting at the four month mark with all of the DeSoto's, he laid out what he felt was likely the case.

"I know I normally don't have your kids here, but I thought Chris and Jenny should be here as well," Doctor Early began. "I had hoped to see significant reduction of the contusions, or bruises, on John's brain by now. They are nearly healed, but by the rate they are improving, it might be about three or four more months until they are completely gone."

Glancing towards Joanne, Roy wearily asked, "What does that mean as far as his recovery? I mean, you said it could be about six months, and that isn't that much longer…"

Sighing, Joe took off his glasses and looked around the family who had taken in Johnny, unsure how long he would remain a child. He had hoped to give them better news than this, but he knew they deserved to know.

"It means that by this point, John should be experiencing some signs of recovery. The bruising obviously is a lot deeper than we expected and the changes are more than likely going to stay as they are right now."

Stunned, Joanne gasped.

 _I knew it was a possibility, but then why am I so shocked?_ She wondered. _Can we continue to take care of him as he is?_

Closing his eyes, Roy felt his heart leap, _Why him? Can we really do this? Take care of him as he is forever?_

Staring in his wife's eyes, Roy saw the same question and the same answer: Yes, they could take care of Johnny, if their kids were able and willing. Looking towards their kids, both parents saw the steely determination and understood they'd get an argument if they'd back down on their promise to take care of Johnny.

Sighing deeply, Roy stood up, "Thanks, doc. And don't worry, he's got a home with us, no matter what."

Smiling slightly as the family left his office, Joe cursed the fates that had robbed a young man of his life.


	56. Settling In

The next few months flew by quickly as everyone involved in Johnny's and the DeSoto's life adjusted to the permanence of the situation. It wasn't long after his Uncle Roy and Aunt Joanne told him that how he was would be with them forever and that they would be able to do a sort of adoption with him in a few months. Johnny lit up at that and trusted the family even more. Knowing he was where he'd always be seemed to help with Johnny's comfort level and his ability to cope grew quickly. Soon, between the work that the NAMI group was inadvertently doing and the teaching Joanne was doing, he was venturing out into the world with the family.

As time passed, life developed a patterned for everyone in the DeSoto's family. Chris and Jenny would go to school and take part in any activities they wished, as long as their parents approved, while Johnny loved going on what he called his NAMI outings. Chris and Jenny always made time for Johnny, teaching him to read, helping him and their parents out as they could. It wasn't always easy and at times, the family got into some fights, but overall, it seemed what happened to John strengthened them and made them closer as a family.

Every six months, a judge would look over a medical evaluation and sign off on papers stating that Johnny was temporarily mentally incompetent. Each time, the same judge would look over the paperwork and listen to Doctor Early. A year and a half after the accident, the judge finally declared John Roderick Gage permanently mentally incompetent. Although it was a hard decision, he made sure to include the doctor's notes, the physical evidence of why he had come to the decision and that he felt that if there came a time when the original injury healed or was fixed, experts should be called to decide to overturn his decision. The judge also included that the reason he ruled as he did was after so long of no improvements, he wanted to make sure that the DeSoto family could live an easier life and this would help the family get the disability checks Johnny was owed from the fire department.

Despite the oddness of it all, on the day of the judge's announcement, Roy and Joanne felt it was time to celebrate. Finally, Johnny was a part of their lives and as such, they wanted to welcome him. After the party, as the two of them were tucking him in, John asked if all of this meant they were now his parents.

"Well, we could never take the place of your mom and dad," Roy stumbled over his words.

"I guess in a way though," Joanne thoughtfully said. "It's the courts way of saying, we are doing what your parents did for you."

"So, you are taking over for mom and dad?" Johnny squinted his eyes. "Yet, it's okay to love them because you all are my parents."

Thinking on it, Joanne nodded, "Yes. I guess you got lucky in a way. Your parents would have loved to be with you yet, but since they couldn't, somehow, they found us and we are more than happy to do what they can't."

"So, you love me like them?"

"Yes," Jo smiled, squeezing his arm tightly. "I, we, love you very much."

"Will you be my mom and dad?" he asked softly.

Clearing his throat, Roy looked up at Joanne in shock, "What?"

Chris and Jennifer had been listening in since Johnny had talked about this subject before and wanted to make sure everything went okay. Stepping inside, Jenny took over.

"He wants to know if he can call you mom and dad," she bluntly stated.

Reeling back in shock, Joanne felt tears coming to her eyes. Looking at her husband, she saw that Roy, too, had tears in his eyes.

"It's more than fine with me, sweetie," she assured him.

"Me, too," Roy chocked out. "Are you two kids fine with it?"

"We told him to ask you tonight," Chris admitted. "He needs us."

"Just as much as we need him," Jenny added

Smiling, Johnny looked at his family and felt a warm feeling spreading from his heart throughout his body. Yawning, he burrowed under the covers deeper.

"Love you all," he murmured, half asleep.

"We love you too," Joanne whispered, sweeping the hair that was once again too long and out of control.

It had been a long hard road for all involved and even with his challenges, Johnny was more than happy, as were the DeSoto's.


	57. Epilogue

Johnny continued to live with Roy and Joanne. Although things never changed with him, he was usually quiet happy. He spent time going out with his friends he made through the NAMI group and enjoyed the time he had with his siblings.

Roy worked with the Paramedic Program until his early retirement in 1995. He had had a heart attack the previous year and although he had wanted to continue working, Roy realized that with the changing of the Paramedic Program and hospital changes, it was best to step down. Also, Roy and Joanne had found a large, previously undiscovered account from Johnny that helped cover any medical bills that John's pension and disability didn't cover. He enjoyed being able to stay home with his wife and John, visiting his two older kids when possible.

Joanne became heavily involved in NAMI after her two oldest left for college. Using her financial, craft and organizational skills, she was successful with fundraising for activities and raising awareness. After Roy's retirement and Johnny's death, she spends more time with Roy, although she still devotes part of her time to NAMI, which she now paid for.

Chris became a firefighter and went to college part-time. After eight years of going to school part-time, he graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Fire Science. He loves his work and is one of the best investigators in the LACOFD; he credits his success to his dad, uncle and his experience of firefighting. Christopher has even taken more classes to further his career.

After graduating high school, Jennifer went to UCLA to become a neuropsychologist and specializing in traumatic brain injury patients. She has a successful practice and her hands on experience of having a sibling with it has been invaluable. Jenny has been able to come up with new ways of treating or minimizing the fallout on family members.

* * *

**AN: THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! I cannot believe it has taken me 14 months! Thanks for all the encouragement and feedback. I hope you enjoyed.**


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